


Bucky Barnes: Head of Designational Resources and More Than A Sniper

by Whendoestheshipsail



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Blood, Blow Jobs, Brock is an asshole, Bucky gives Steve what he needs, Butt Plugs, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Chastity, Cock Cages, Cock Warming, Cock Worship, Daddy kink!, Dom Bucky Barnes, Dom Phil Coulson, Feminization, Figging, Fuck Or Die, Happily Ever After, I'm almost sorry, M/M, Magical Healing Cock, Masochist Steve Rogers, More like fuck or be miserable and unhealthy, No adherence to canon unless it suits me, Rimming, Sadist Bucky Barnes, Self-Harm, Steve's are all messed up and Bucky works out the kinks, Sub Steve Rogers, Suicidal Thoughts, Tit Play, Vibrators, aftercare typically given, black out sex kind of thing?, bucky makes things better, dodgy medical explanations, elimination of safewords, guess who's miserable?, he always seems so stable lol, he assaults Steve and whips him, he's given it anyway, hella dubious warnings have now been given, i guess the gland thing is like extra prostates or something, if they can't be bothered to work out their own time travel and plot arcs why the hell should i?, in the context of BDSM AU's, it's a canon blender with extra ingredients, it's shocking i know, oops. should have said sooner. sorry :(, rough breast play, sometimes he doesn't want to need it, steve has self doubt and depression, submissives have glands, the gland thing is a kink and if you think that sounds gross this isn't your story, verbal abuse but chapter is tagged, what an upsetting sentence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:29:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 85,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21577324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whendoestheshipsail/pseuds/Whendoestheshipsail
Summary: Steve Rogers has been defrosted for more than a month and he's cancelled his appointment with Shield's Designational Resources three times. His tests have come back inconclusive, but it's clear there is something weird about him. He's either the Dommiest Dom to have ever Dommed or he's damned good at hiding his submissive status. Bucky is going to figure it out.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, implied
Comments: 377
Kudos: 991
Collections: Creatures or ABO love and dynamics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was rereading Just a Sniper and kind of wished I'd done a few things differently. Le sigh. Here we are. If you're one of those people who swear they'll keep reading BDSM AU's if I write them... here you go! Although Sniper was the template, I think it's pretty different. 
> 
> This story has a lot written and will be at least 50k. Posting frequently over the next couple of weeks as I edit. Please comment. It's almost Christmas! It counts as a good deed!

Captain Rogers was a hell of a lot bigger in person than Bucky expected. He knew the man was tall and super-soldier built, but somehow that hadn’t quite come across on TV. Maybe he’d only seen him standing next to Thor or The Hulk who were also tall… and _wide_.

Steve Rogers was frighteningly good looking.

And then there was the _emotion_ coming off of him, which was so potent that Bucky’s hand flexed and his balls started to tighten, instincts telling him he was walking into both a fight and a fuck.

The feeling was so unusual he paused in the hallway and took stock of himself. Umm, yeah, definitely felt like he was walking into a fight and yeah, he was definitely getting hard, too. Huh.

It was damned weird and Bucky’d never felt anything like it. Dominants wanted to fight and they could rouse that in another dominant if they didn’t have themselves under control or were particularly unbalanced.

Submissives didn’t provoke that sort of reaction in a dominant. Which made him think that Captain Rogers was a dominant.

And yet.

The _other_ reaction, where his cock was getting hard and there was a heaviness in his balls, was telling him there was a submissive nearby who was anxious and unsettled. The submissive wasn’t just sending out arousal signals but need, serious hormonal distress signals were flooding out of that room, all with the intent of luring a dominant into sex. It wasn’t something that happened all that often.

Bucky looked around. Like backed up a few steps, peered down the hallway, looked around. 

There was, in fact, only one person in the gym. How did Rogers trigger both responses? The man had to be something, but what?

Bucky sat down on the bench in the corner of the training area and waited for the Captain to be through with his workout. The man hadn’t given any indication that he’d noticed Bucky come in, and he was so beautiful and honed, so precise and powerful that watching him was hypnotizing.

Bucky could sit there and watch him all day. Like a creep, he thought, and pulled out his phone as a distraction. 

An hour went by. Bucky was getting anxious, his cock was still hard, and he had that hair-on-the-back-of-his-neck-raised-up-in-warning feeling that he only got with dominants who were about to lose their shit.

Rogers looked just as intense and energetic as he had an hour ago. How long had he been here beating up that poor bag? There wasn’t a damned thing to indicate he was tiring. And Bucky still had no idea what to make of his scent. He’d kind of thought he’d work it out while he waited. He put his phone away and stood up.

He went closer, saw the sweat pouring off of him, the fury and turmoil were more pronounced up close. And fucking hell. The punching bag was red. There was blood all over it. Blood from his knuckles. And he was still punching it.

Bucky stood close to him. “Captain Rogers,” he said, trying to interrupt. He was ignored.

He put a hand out and stepped closer, so that the Captain would hit him if he followed through on the next punch. “Get out of my way,” the Captain growled, hand an inch from Bucky’s face. He could smell blood, overwhelming and unsettling.

“What the hell are you doing?” Bucky asked bluntly, stunned by the man in front of him. Stunned and scared.

“This part of the gym is reserved for me for another hour still,” Steve said, gasping. Sweat ran down his face, dripped off his chin, and landed on his soaked shirt. His hands were dripping blood onto the floor. Was anyone aware of just how completely off his rocker this guy was?

“I’m Sargent Barnes. We were supposed to meet up a few times but your schedule kept getting in the way,” he says, keeping his expression friendly, his hands and shoulders relaxed.

“You’ve caught me at a bad time,” he says, looking at his hands. He shakes them like they hurt. “I’m leaving tomorrow for an extended mission. Perhaps when I get back we can get something on the calendar. You have Phil Coulson’s number, I assume,” he says, dismissively. He gives Bucky his back and goes to a padded bench, picking up a towel and blotting his face.

“That’s not going to work for me,” Bucky says. Steve lowers the towel, stares at Bucky. His eyes give the impression of loneliness. Something in the set of his eyebrows or the hollows of his cheekbones. That’s what his instincts tell him. He gets paid to pay attention to his instincts so he files the information away to mention in his report. Just in case.

“The problem is that Coulson worships you. You’re his hero. I called him to bitch about the third cancellation and he swears it isn’t intentional. I think he genuinely believes you wouldn’t lie.” Bucky gives him a smile that he hopes lets Steve know that the bullshit is over. Steve can’t avoid him any longer.

A muscle ticks in the corner of Steve’s jaw. Steve moves past him and picks up a bottle of water, drinking most of it in impressive time. He isn’t even looking at Bucky. Which kind of pisses him off.

If Rogers was a submissive he wouldn’t have given Bucky his back. Bucky’s just too dominant. It goes completely against a submissive’s instincts. And yet. Bucky isn’t ruling it out yet.

“He doesn’t know you’re a punk.”

Steve lets the water bottle leave his lips. “Excuse me?” He’s deeply unamused.

“Isn’t that the word? I was looking through your dusty files and reading about what people had to say about you back in the day. Those who knew you called you a ‘punk.’ It came up numerous times.”

“You think insulting me will get me to make an appointment?”

Bucky shrugs. “Being nice hasn’t exactly served me well so far. I guess I just decided I’d try to speak to you in a way you’d understand.”

Steve bristles at that. He _finally,_ really looks at Bucky instead of the wall or the punching bag or even his hands. Steve takes a deep breath first, forces himself to his full height, shoulders wide and impressive. He looks like a very dominant man as he steps closer to Bucky, gaze on Bucky’s in challenge.

That little display means one of two things. Either Steve is a dominant fucking badass who’s about to beat the shit out of Bucky (less positive) or he’s submissive and strong enough to stand up to Bucky, but it takes effort (which would be intriguing and a new one.)

Well, technically, there’s a third option, which is that Steve is neither submissive nor dominant and he’s just annoyed and tired. But, Bucky’s definitely thinking Steve is_ something_. “Leave me your card. I’ll be sure to call your supervisor first thing when I get back.”

“A dismissal and a threat all in one. That’s cute,” Bucky says, and he lets his gaze go to Steve’s neck, to where his pulse is jumping. Again, there are two reasons Bucky might be able to see this reaction from Steve. Either it’s adrenaline and the stress of being this aggressive to a dominant or it’s because he’s just worked out for an hour or two and he’s in pain due to his hands.

Bucky wants to put his fingers over the spot, feel his glands there and see how swollen they are. The Captain’s got bruised looking circles under his eyes, and his pupils are dilating as Bucky stands there. Steve’s nostrils flare as he takes in a breath.

There it is.

Steve Rogers just figured out what Bucky is. Steve blinks. Takes a step back from him. Rogers actually shivers, shoulders raising and lowering as goosebumps break out over his skin. Submissive. Then his hands make a fist and he takes a threatening step closer. Dominant.

It’s really fucking interesting. You know, objectively.

Bucky turns his palms out, making them open and non-threatening. Steve ignores it, focused on Bucky’s face. “I’m sorry, Captain. I’m here with Fury’s approval. If we don’t get our interview done, then you can’t go on the mission tomorrow. But, I’m here now. I have time and if you would like to get this over with then I can clear you for the mission. Ten minutes. Twenty, tops.”

Steve is furious. The goosebumps go away and his hands unclench with a slow exhale. Steve reaches out and bats Bucky’s open hand away as he moves closer. No one has ever done that before. It must show on Bucky’s face.

Steve smirks at him, realizing he’s finally made a dent in Bucky’s calm exterior. Is that what he wants? To challenge him? Because he’s dominant?

There’s nothing in Steve’s file either way, and when the Captain was previously in the army, biological designations were not something that was even recognized, let alone kept track of. 

In trying to make a guess at the Captain’s designation, Bucky had only a few things to go on. His willingness to get into fights, how much he liked to hurt himself, the level of danger he craved and his (by all accounts) rather monastic existence.

He’s had three blood tests taken so far and each of them was inconclusive. Assessing the Captain this way, informally, after hours, and without him understanding what was going on wasn’t how things were done. But, people usually fucking called Bucky back. The Captain has brought this on himself.

Steve makes a sound in his throat. Another growl. _Interesting_. He’s radiating threat and Bucky drops his gaze, takes a step back, makes a show of dragging a breath in like he’s suddenly nervous of Steve.

As if he’s a submissive, and Steve is a dominant who is intimidating him. This makes Steve stop. A flash of something, guilt or disappointment, crosses his face and is then wiped away. “People will likely die if I’m not on that mission tomorrow. You will put people in danger.”

“I might be saving you,” Bucky says. The sneer of anger on the Captain’s face is not the reaction he’d expected. “The world just got you back, Steve,” Bucky says, clarifying.

This makes Steve blink. “Captain America is a myth.”

“That’s why I said Steve. I mean you and not the propaganda creation. _You_ only just came back. I don’t want to be the bureaucrat that gets fired and sent to prison because I let you get killed. And, I’m not sure I could really live with that on my conscience,” he says, catching Steve’s gaze.

Steve finally nods. Relents with a slow exhale. “I don’t even know what department you’re from or what you want,” he confesses. Seems like a lie.

Bucky shrugs. “Maybe you won’t need to. I evaluate levels of dominance and submission when SHIELD gets new agents.”

“How do you do that?” Steve asks, crossing his arms. Steve winces when he catches sight of his own knuckles. He doesn’t look surprised. Just annoyed.

“I think you won that battle by the way,” Bucky says, smiling. “Let me bandage you up and I’ll get out of your hair. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

Steve frowns. “You make it sound like you already have your answer.”

“I’m better at my job than I look,” Bucky says, and walks over to get the first aid kit that’s in the cabinet with all the towels. “We have to evaluate dominants and submissives, even people who don’t show up either way,” he says, gesturing towards Steve.

As if he’s already certain Steve has no designation. “And that’s most people. Around 75% of the people in the world have no designation, you know. A few have some submissive traits or dominant traits and that can be dealt with in school behavior classes or therapy later in life. If behavior therapy doesn’t work then there’s medicine. That takes care of most everyone,” he says, because it’s true and having a designation isn’t a big deal now that suppressing and managing one’s responses is possible.

But, it used to be a big deal. The only thing worse was having a designation that one couldn’t suppress. Being too dominant usually resulted in aggressive acts and there was more wiggle room for those people. After all, normal people were violent and had bad days too.

Occasionally, they’d get locked away but there was a sense that prison kind of sopped up the worst offenders. Being dominant wasn’t in any way as bad as being a submissive.

Families could lock submissives up so they wouldn’t shame the family with their weak and needy behavior. They were viewed as immoral and corruptible. Submissive’s couldn’t own property, as they were considered deficient and broken. If one could pass as normal, they tried.

Girls were married young or sold into brothels and the myth of desperate submissives debasing themselves, letting strangers do depraved things to them in an effort to get control of themselves, persisted until recently. And they had it good compared to submissive men. They were societal outcasts with laws against them. Better to have leprosy then be a submissive male a hundred years ago. Unmanned was a common descriptor. Horrible things were done to make submissive boys into ‘normal’ men.

That’s the society Steve grew up in. If Steve was submissive, the odds of him wanting to admit it are just about zero. Which would definitely explain why there’s been three cancelled appointments so far.

“It’s just a formality for you and I’m sorry I interrupted your workout.” He can see the tension go out of Steve a little and he gives Steve a quick, apologetic smile. He gestures to the bench with his free hand and Steve goes over and sits down.

Bucky kneels between his legs, letting Steve be taller. Dominant. Steve inhales sharply and moves, turning his body to the side, taking up less space, uncomfortable with Bucky on his knees before him. He’s even blushing.

Well, that just about answers that question. If Steve was on his knees in front of Bucky, Bucky wouldn’t be turning away. He’d be desperate to spread his legs wider, his hand would want to grab Steve by the hair and press Steve’s face into his groin. Even if it wasn’t for oral sex, it was still an act of dominance and an exertion of a dominant’s control. No, Bucky wouldn’t have reacted that way at all.

“Hand,” Bucky orders, low and firm. Just a hint of dominance in it. Steve starts to put his hand out, stops, and then puts it out again. Bucky smiles at him, non-threatening, eyes rolling up and then back down quickly, like a submissive flirting with a dominant.

Steve’s hand jerks in his grip, uncertain and uncomfortable with Bucky behaving that way. Bucky unwraps his hand gently. “Having Coulson run interference for you is pretty genius. He’ll definitely do what he can to impress you.”

He puts the bloody tape down and opens up an anti bacterial wipe. “This will sting and feel cold,” Bucky says, watching him out of the corner of his eye.

“Yes…_okay_,” Steve says, voice a little rough.

Bucky wonders if Steve was going to call him ‘Sir.’ Talk about wishful thinking. He presses the wipe to Steve’s knuckles and Steve swallows at the sting. Steve’s hand goes tense and Bucky makes a low sound in his throat. “Easy,” Bucky whispers, and makes no effort to hide his status. It’s only one word but submissives react to him. 

A whimper, dropping to one’s knees, leaning forward to kiss his hand, those are all things that have spontaneously happened to Bucky if he’s just let himself be his dominant self. Steve does none of those things. Steve licks his lips as he looks down at Bucky, eyes a little wide, but he doesn’t move. “Are you alright?” Bucky asks, softly. “Let me help you,” he whispers, putting as much command as he can get away with into his voice.

The tension goes out of Steve’s hand and the weight of it rests limply in Bucky’s palm. Fucking hell. Bucky tries not to react as Steve starts to slip into a submissive headspace. Is he going to drop just from this? A very dominant male, touch, and a hint of pain and he’s going into a drop? How the hell does this guy go into battle?

Bullshit comes out of Bucky’s mouth. “I’d like a bit more light to see you, Steve. Is that alright?”

Steve’s eyes close for a bit too long as he thinks about Bucky’s request. He can see Steve fighting with himself. Steve’s aware enough to know that he’s not doing a great job of passing as normal or dominant but is too far down to know how revealing his reactions are. He’s trying to keep it together. Steve shakes his head gently, trying to clear the haze away. 

“Would it be okay if we switched places so I could see your injury better? I just want to be helpful,” Bucky murmurs. He keeps his voice low so Steve has to focus on him. It’s all a bit of a dirty trick but he can see Steve working through Bucky’s phrasing. Bucky asking Steve for permission, saying he wants to be of help. Typical submissive traits. Bucky drops his gaze, lets his head lower so he’s non-threatening.

“That’s fine,” Steve rasps. Bucky stands up and Steve’s gaze follows him. God, he’s lovely. The urge to put a hand in Steve’s hair and force his head back until Steve gasps, to bite the column of his neck, rolls over Bucky. Bucky lets his breath out and looks away. He sits down on the bench. Steve hesitates for a moment, staring at the ground, almost swaying into Bucky.

“I shouldn’t be on the ground…on my _knees_,” he says, absently. Like he’s almost asleep. Bucky can’t think of anyone who should be on their god damned knees in front of him more than Steve Rogers, but that’s not that helpful at the moment.

Steve’s eyes close. They open again. “The ground is hard, Steven. You’ll feel it in your knees. Heavy. Just _go_,” Bucky orders quietly. Steve crashes down to his knees. He blinks and pants a little, looks around like he isn’t sure where he is or why he’s now on the ground. Bucky picks up the first aid kit and sets it beside him, takes Steve’s hand in his, trying to maintain some fiction that it isn’t abundantly clear what Steve is. Bucky hums softly as he undoes the wrappings. Bloody. Beginning to dry.

Steve gasps as the material pulls. “I’m sorry, baby,” Bucky whispers, rubbing his thumb gently on a strip of undamaged skin.

Bucky opens another wipe and Steve stares at it longingly. He wants the sting. Any discomfort, the slightest pain and he’s desperate for it. Steve Rogers isn’t just a little bit submissive. He appears to be almost purely submissive according to the way he’s reacting and behaving.

Keeping up the facade of dominance must be unbearably difficult for him.

He knows what’s going in his report. Steve Rogers is submissive. Responds in an overly positive way to high dominance individuals (unknown if it’s both male and female that evoke submission.) Pain and exhaustion have put Steve in not only a receptive state but with the possibility of a full drop into subspace. If Steve can be pushed into subspace this easily, he needs to know. Shield needs to know.

Bucky reckons that Steve is so close to dropping that a touch of dominance is all it will take for Steve to behave in a truly submissive fashion. But even that might not be necessary. Steve’s deprivation and need, his inherent submissiveness are now obvious and pinging every dominant molecule in his body. Steve isn’t just receptive, he’s longing to submit.

Bucky shifts his stance, legs spread wide open. Steve doesn’t look away from his face. His eyes close and open again. He gives the slightest tug to Steve’s hand.

“What are you doing?” Steve rasps, and shakes his head.

“I’m finishing your evaluation. I want to get your knuckles bandaged and then we’re done.”

“You’re doing it now?” Steve asks. He looks around him, as if he’d forgotten he was in the gym and why they’re having this conversation. He seems surprised to find himself on his knees, hand held in Bucky’s. He finally looks at Bucky’s spread legs, at his crotch, like he’s trying to find the shape of his cock in his pants. “You’re not submissive,” Steve says, finally, returning to himself impressively quickly.

“No.”

He nods. “I thought I felt that when you came in.” Steve pulls his hand away and pushes to his feet. He shakes out his hand from where they touched. He’s definitely come back to himself. Steve’s annoyed. He’s also hard. Sexual desire and submission are two different things. One doesn’t necessarily go with the other. Is Steve Rogers bi? Gay?

“May I?” Bucky asks, holding up the wipe.

“No, that’s not a good idea,” Steve says, flatly. His neck and cheeks turn pink.

“You’re very strong willed, Steve. I’m sure you pass for dominant in most of your life. What’s your routine for dropping and maintaining such a good balance?”

He looks at Bucky like he’s thinking about punching him. “Good balance?”

Bucky shrugs. “Hey. They actually checked your blood three times and it came back inconclusive. I had no idea when I came in here and I was leaning towards dominant for a while there. That’s never happened before.” He’s trying to be reassuring. Steve licks his lips absently. Bucky looks because it’s Steve Rogers and the man is gorgeous.

“No one can know,” Steve says, and he takes a step closer. He puts a hand on Bucky’s chest and slides his other hand down to Bucky’s cock, stroking the back of his fingers gently over him. “Anything you want,” Steve says, sounding needy. He licks his lips. It’s still sexy.

Jesus Fucking Christ. He lifts Steve’s hand away from his groin and Steve presses closer. “Anything,” he says, again, baring his neck in invitation.

“You’d let me fuck you just so I wouldn’t tell?”

Steve bites at his bottom lip, thinking. His gaze drops to Bucky’s cock again. “I haven’t…would you keep it a secret?” Somehow, he manages to convey the impression that he wants it. He never would have pegged Steve Rogers for a manipulative shit. Is this what people meant when they called him a punk? Bucky sits down on the bench, very intensely not thinking about how hard he is.

“I know things were different back then but it’s not like that anymore. You won’t lose your job or position on the team, Steve. Not if you can handle your submission. And, I think you can. What you _can’t_ do is try to bribe me with sexual favors.”

“What about my mission tomorrow?” Steve asks, arms crossed, ignoring that he’s just thrown himself at Bucky and been rejected.

Bucky holds out the wipe to Steve and Steve ignores him, gets his own from the first aid kit and then tosses it back inside. It’s the only indication that he isn’t quite as together as he seems. “I don’t fucking need one. I’m basically healed. I shouldn’t have let you do that in the first place,” Steve growls.

“What was your motivation?” Bucky asks, curiously.

Steve swallows. “It was hard to think for a minute. And then you got on your knees and it seemed like the dominant thing to do so I let it happen.” Steve laughs, bitterly. When his laughter stops there’s an uneasy silence.

“I’m sorry, Steve. There’s no way I can clear you for tomorrow.” He picks the bloody wraps up off the floor and feels a hand on his neck. Steve is standing in front of him. Steve pushes and Bucky goes to his knees, slipping off the bench, inappropriately intrigued by whatever Steve is doing now. He was right. The ground is hard. He feels it in his knees.

“Ow.”

He cups Bucky’s chin in his hand. Hard and angry. “I’m _going_ on that mission tomorrow.”

“No, you’re fucking not,” he says, and doesn’t even try to move away. This whole situation is rather fascinating. Steve knows Bucky is dominant. This type of behavior is inviting Bucky to take control and assert himself over Steve. Does he know he’s pushing Bucky’s buttons or is he genuinely trying to intimidate Bucky because he’s Captain America and thinks he can? A submissive as strong as Steve might cow most dominants into doing what he wants but Bucky isn’t most dominants.

Steve is fucking huge. And not just his cock. Which is also huge. And eye level. Steve’s grip on Bucky’s jaw tightens. A bit more and Bucky will bruise. He desperately wants to stop Steve. Wants to soothe him and reassure him but he can’t. Steve Rogers is an unknown quantity. Submissive but volatile. If he hurts Bucky while he’s on his knees in a vulnerable position, if Steve resorts to violence, it has to go in his report. “I’m not submissive, Steve. This isn’t something I respond favorably to.”

He has no choice but to stay still and look up at Steve. To wait. He feels the moment spin out as Steve runs through scenarios or… well, Bucky isn’t quite sure what he’s thinking. Steve’s eyes get watery. The grip loosens a fraction. Bucky nods, puts his hand over Steve’s wrist and squeezes. Steve’s shoulders slump in defeat.

“There you go. You’re fine, sweetheart.”

Steve drops down beside him hard. It has to _hurt_. The floor under him shakes at the impact. “No. Don’t hurt yourself.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. He touches Bucky’s face gently. He’s shaking with regret.

“Go ahead, sweetheart. Apologize,” he says, the need to atone radiating from him. Steve nods and presses kisses to Bucky’s jaw, from one side to the other. Quick and frantic.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I’m so sorry.” He’s close to Bucky’s lips.

_Don’t kiss me. Don’t you dare fucking kiss me. _Steve kisses him. Bucky groans. Fucking hell. The man is all over him. He’s blown past apology to desperate invitation to get fucked. He’s whimpering and pressing up close. His hand is somehow against Bucky’s cock, just pressing ever so gently and teasing. He’s still chanting about how sorry he is and there are _tears_. Steve’s cheek brushes his lips and a fat drop of his tears is on Bucky’s lips and he’s tasting Steve’s tears before he can stop himself.

It’s like a drug. That shot of hormones and various chemicals Bucky is biologically designed to respond to are all over him and inside him. It burns his tongue. His body reacts, erection painful, suddenly desperate to get at Steve and fuck him into the floor. Bucky grips his thighs, grabs the muscles hard so he doesn’t haul Steve closer. “Steve. Wait. _Fuck_.” Bucky is panting and it’s hot. This is very bad and not right.

There’s fumbling at Bucky’s pants and another swipe of tears on his lips. Steve gets a hand on Bucky’s cock and the heat of him, the strength in his grip steals the last of his resolve. “Our secret,” Steve murmurs. “Anytime you want. Just us. Please,”

_What. The. fuck_. He grabs Steve by the back of the neck and Steve moans, slumps forward like a puppet with his strings cut. The grip takes some submissives that way, but considering what a manipulative asshole Steve was just being, it’s surprising. Hell, it’s probably another trick. He’s giving Bucky designational whiplash.

It’s a sign of deep submission. Of complete surrender. And undoubtedly another fucking manipulation. He grabs Steve’s wrist hard and pulls his hand out of his pants.

He shoves Steve away from him. Steve sways back and collapses, ass on his heels. He’s breathing heavily. Bucky stumbles to his feet, runs a hand through his hair. His cock is hard and aching. He adjusts himself so he can get his pants buttoned again. It takes two tries before his hands work.He wipes his mouth.

Steve’s eyes are closed. Bucky clears his throat. “Manipulative blackmailer wasn’t in your file. Take your time, Steve. It’s not like you have anywhere to go tomorrow,” Bucky says, and he stumbles out of the gym.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to update the tags but there's daddy kink and lots of gland nonsense. If you don't think painful glands seem hot, this isn't your story. I can't believe I write this.

Steve watches Bucky walk away from him. “Wait!” he gasps. “Please. Just…one second. I just,” he looks at the dominant, something like vertigo washing over him. It’s different looking _up_ at him while Steve is on his _knees_. It’s good. It’s also a bit like every submissive stereotype/porn he’s ever seen. Why should it be good to be down here and have him there? What sort of biological bullshit is this?

The hollow at the base of his spine tingles like a phantom touch. It’s even more surreal because Bucky _feels_ like a dominant to Steve. His gaze and touch have weight, his voice is calming and draws Steve in. His very presence echoes in Steve’s bones and makes parts of him ache and feel empty at the same time. He wants to be filled up with him, not just ass and mouth, which are the more obvious places to crave a dominant’s touch, but in his heart and his stomach, places that he’d swear have never even been all that noticeable before.

Bucky radiates control and confidence while Steve is frantic and perhaps even a little terrified. Terrified of himself and feeling like this, of Bucky having this effect on him and how good and right it feels even as it makes him miserable. _Shit._ What if it’s good because he’s a little miserable and desperate? At this point, the best thing that could happen, Steve’s most fervent desire, is for Bucky to come over to him and take him. Use him up until they’re both exhausted.

Steve isn’t getting that. Ever. Bucky walks away from Steve because Steve isn’t anyone he’d ever want and Steve brought this on himself. But then, Bucky does stops, thank god, and turns back to him, looking down at Steve, seemingly unaware of Steve’s internal emotional crisis. He feels strange and unknown to himself, it’s exhilarating and awful at once. He feels reckless and out of control. He needs this man to stay here and Steve suspects he’d do anything Bucky wanted if he so much as asked.

Bucky is waiting, impatient and angry. The flush of pink in his cheeks, the hard outline of his erect cock in his pants, and the way he’s looking at Steve like Steve is scum. And it’s all just too fucking much.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking,” he says, and cold sweeps over him. He’s fragile now, his skin and his body, his sense of self, fuck, this isn’t right.

“Yeah, you do,” Bucky says, and he turns to go.“From the first appointment you cancelled to rubbing up sweet on me like a bitch in heat, you damned well knew what you were doing.”

“I have _nothing_,” Steve pleads to his retreating back. God. He didn’t mean to be _that_ honest. This is just pathetic. “I have no friends and no family. I know so little of how everything works now and people look at me with pity or like I’m a joke or…or like their fucking hero and I’m not a hero, I’m a….” He pauses, blinks, wipes his hand over his mouth and can’t hardly feel it. He looks down at his hands. His nails look a little blue. Doesn’t that mean something?

“What are you, Steve?” Bucky asks, and he’s turned back around, his gaze blue, cold but intent. Willing to wait for Steve to get it out if he’s honest. Painfully vulnerable. Dominants love that, don’t they? Getting to feel bigger and better than everyone else.

“I….I just have a tendency to make epically bad decisions. _Quickly_. And I think they’re a good idea even though they’re reckless or, apparently, morally dubious,” he says, gesturing in Bucky’s direction.

His nipples hurt, his pecs feeling full and weighted, sharp and prickly deep inside. Hell, he can feel the same thing between his legs, not just in his cock, but his balls, too. In his thighs and… back _further_. A lot of his body is cold and yet those points are burning.

“What was the plan?” Bucky asks, interrupting Steve’s self analysis. “Make me come and say I threatened you? Blackmail me? That is so fucking dangerous for everyone. If you drop at the wrong time, if you struggle with your submission and no one can help you, then what? What happens to the people who are counting on you? What happens to _you_?”

He might vomit. As the possibilities sink in, the ramifications of how thoughtless he’s been, he can’t hardly stand it.

Bucky is waiting.

“I _never_ would have said you threatened me. I thought… I needed a way to keep this job and I thought… I don’t know.” Which is, unfortunately, the truth.

Bucky comes back towards him. He squats all the way down so he can see Steve’s face. Steve could lean forward and rest his head on his chest. He wants that. He wants it so badly. More than he’s ever wanted anything.

Bucky is warm and perfect. He’s the sun and Steve’s been in the snow, trudging for days and weeks to find him. Safety. “You tricked me,” Steve whispers. Those dropped eyes and soft words, pretending to be submissive. He feels betrayed. He has no right to feel betrayed by Bucky but he does.

Bucky scoffs. “That’s fucking rich. Being submissive isn’t career ending, Steve.”

“Who would let me lead if it was known?” Bucky’s hands are loose in front of him, elbows on his knees. Steve needs the heat and grip of those hands on him.

Bucky is speechless. His mouth opens and closes. “Everyone,” he finally says. “You’re Captain Fucking America. You’re Steve Rogers and a tactical genius. They teach shit you did at West Point for fuck’s sake. Your men _loved_ you. None of that has changed in 70 years. You lead. That’s who you are.”

Bucky doesn’t understand. “No one knew. And, I coped. No one has ever rolled me like you did.I don’t think anyone even really tried after the serum. If they did, I didn’t notice. They all thought I was dominant. I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did if they knew. How you make me feel, this has never happened to me,” he says, aching and alone. And why does it have to be Bucky?

“Look. You’re right in that I don’t know _you_. I know the myth and your legend. That’s it. You shattered that into a million fucking pieces tonight. It isn’t up to me, anymore. I have to protect myself, everyone else, and, hell, even you by reporting the truth to Fury.”

“I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t have blackmailed you. I thought it was mutual. I thought we’d— damn, it’s cold,” he says, and his teeth start chattering. He’s shaking. His hands are now visibly trembling. Steve puts a hand to his chest, rubs over his heart and lower, over his nipple where everything aches and prickles.

This has to be some kind of a joke. The universe hates him. Steve lowers his hand and casts an apologetic, maybe even a downright devastated look at Bucky. “Am I? I’m crashing. Is that what this is? I didn’t mean to. I don’t know how it happened. I’ve never.”

Bucky’s expression is perfectly neutral. As if he has crashing submissives on his hands every day of the week.

There’s dropping and there’s crashing. One can have good drops where it’s like subspace and pleasurable and there’s arousal and orgasms and all the stuff everyone wants.

Then there are bad drops where it’s all self-doubt and misery, paranoia, fear, no arousal, and it’s like a horrible trip. There’s no healing and positive endorphin release. No one wants that. If a submissive has the right partner they can sometimes jostle them into a better headspace before they drop completely and make it into something good.

And then there’s this. Which is the sort of thing Steve read about but never thought would happen to him. Crashing is just pathetic. It’s the sort of thing one jokes about. The designational bad drop equivalent of premature ejaculation. His body thought he was going to get dominated hard and decided to get ramped up for it.

He’s buzzing with hormones and chemicals, needing things he isn’t going to get. Bucky acting as his dominant isn’t happening. It never was going to happen, but his submissive side is dumb and now here he is. It’s mortifying. And it’s going to be an epically bad drop when this all shakes out. One usually has warning before a drop, they can get balanced out with their dominant on a regular schedule and avoid the ups and downs. Steve’s never done that or needed to do that.

He’s going to drop, it’s going to be hard and awful when it hits in the next twenty to seconds to an hour and he’s nauseous and shaky, oxygen deprived even, because his system has basically collapsed and all of his hormones are fucking up his body. Somebody should take care of me, he thinks, feeling small and hopeless. It should be Bucky.

“Steve. Do you know how to deal with this? Have you experienced anything like this before?” he asks, sounding like an EMT or a doctor trying to get buy in for treatment.

“No.”

“Do you consent for me to help you out of this or should I take you to medical?”

“You can do that?” he asks, and he hadn’t actually meant it to be a question, because yes, this dominant can do anything he wants to Steve.

“Yeah, sweetheart. I can do that. Let me get you checked and see where you are,” he says, and pushes to his feet. He walks away from Steve.

I’m such a fucking idiot, Steve thinks, as Bucky leaves him. Some part of his mind or designation threw itself over a hormonal cliff, thinking this dominant was going to fuck him and work him over and he isn’t. Of course he isn’t.

Why would he want Steve after what he’s done? And when Steve knows nothing and has no experience? When Steve’s large and dominant in every other aspect of his life? This gorgeous dominant isn’t going to help him. That’s why he’s walking away. Maybe that’s for the best. He doesn’t deserve good things. He never has. He can feel his mood becoming blacker as the seconds tick by.

Bucky comes back, which is a surprise as Steve was positive he was being abandoned. Bucky has Steve open his mouth, puts a swab in, rubs the inside of his cheek and then sticks it into a black device. Seconds tick by and then a piece of receipt paper gets printed out. Bucky rips it off and frowns at it. “Steve, can I touch you? Just your glands above the waist?”

“Yes….” _Don’t say Sir_, Steve tells himself. And feels like there’s a horrible awkward pause. He shivers, bile fills his mouth.

“Steve. You can call me Sir. It’s a bit hard to resist now and go back. It’s just going to make you feel worse. Your body is receptive to domination, you want to please your dominant and denying me that honorific is a strain at this point. Because, your levels are _completely_ fucked up. If you can let go a little, lean on me, and be easy with yourself it will help. Just call me what you want to call me.”

“You’ll be…surprised to hear this, but I’m not known for doing things the easy way,” Steve mutters.

Bucky snorts, a smile on his face. Bucky touches Steve gently on his collarbones, just getting him acquainted with Bucky’s touch and he moans. His head drops forward and he reaches out.

“Better, Steve. I’m safe. You can touch my leg,” Bucky says. “You’re doing great.” 

“Thank you…. Sir,” he whispers, and he puts his hand on Bucky’s leg, just above his knee, not wanting to presume. God, it does feel good to call him Sir. The word itself is pleasurable to say. Bucky’s words seep into him, warm and calming. Bucky is safe. Steve is being good.

Bucky’s all muscle. Steve wants to blow him. He wants to worship every inch of him with his mouth and his body. He needs to get fucked by him. “Will you please fuck me, Sir?”

“We’re trying to avoid that, Steve. See if a little manual release and comfort can get you into a better place for your drop. I’m hoping we can ease the rest of it with drugs. We’re fully stocked here and have good equipment, it doesn’t have to be a bad drop. You have nine different markers that are not where we want them, I’m pretty confident I can sort out six or maybe seven without sex.”

Steve isn’t getting fucked. He’s not getting a belly full of come and his anal glands forced into a release by Bucky’s cock hitting them over and over again. He won’t get Bucky’s weight and his ass filled with him. Of course he isn’t. After what he did. Steve deserves to get a horrible cocktail of drugs, likely injected into his thigh, and then to go home and sleep it off, alone and miserable. It’s fitting.

He wants to die. He wants the cold, black misery of what’s coming to just take him already if he isn’t getting Bucky.

Bucky trails his fingers up to Steve’s neck where his claiming glands are. They burn and throb. He doesn’t touch them directly, probably because Steve flinches when he’s stilla few inches away.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Bucky says, and that makes Steve feel worse. Like he’s even more of a failure if this man who doesn’t like him or respect him is moved to pity, because Steve’s body is so fucked up.

“Can I touch your chest?” he asks, putting a hand on Steve’s cheek, fingers grazing his skin. It’s so hard not to shove into the touch and beg for more.

“Yes, sir,” Steve says, even quieter than last time. Those two little words make him want to cry. He’s such an idiot.

“I’m assuming you hurt there?” Bucky asks, and presses flat palms high up his chest. His thumbs rub back and forth, wanting Steve to understand how he’s going to touch him.

Even that little bit is too much. He whimpers and struggles to stay still.

“Tell me,” Bucky orders.

“Oh, thank you,” he says, the relief of being ordered making him feel light and good. “It hurts but it’s making me want to come. I might come if you keep going.”

Bucky is still. Almost frozen. “You might…come from this. Okay. Do you have someone you want me to call? I should have asked before,” Bucky says, cheeks going pink. He frowns. “Did I ask before?” Steve isn’t sure if it’s rhetorical. 

He can’t say it aloud. He shakes his head. No. He has no one.

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of you. I guess I already knew that answer. You’re just,” Bucky clears his throat, “I’m not unaffected. I’m getting a bit muddled I think.”

“You hate me.”

Bucky sighs. “I don’t hate you. You’re definitely a punk,” he says, in such a way that Steve opens his eyes and looks at him. Bucky smiles, soothing and gorgeous. “But, we also have to work together and I don’t want us to have a problem. Let’s start over. You’re a submissive who’s crashing and I’m the head of Designational Resources. This is my job, Steve. Nothing that happens is going to surprise me. Everything is okay. We’ll do as little as we can to get you better. You don’t have to fight or be worried. I promise I’ll take care of you. I’m assuming you’ll drop when you come?”

“Yes, sir.” 

“Do you typically get off on pain? Or….”

“Or what?” Steve rasps.

“Or is it me? Coming from the glands in your chest alone is a pretty heightened response. I assume that’s not normal for you?”

He isn’t sure, but the question is embarrassing and revealing.

“Steve, I’m asking because you can’t come yet. I’ve got to get your glands to release and if you come you’ll drop and it will be very bad. Once you drop it’s more difficult to get the release you need. So, I want to give you something that will make it difficult to get hard and come. It won’t last that long. A couple hours at the most. Release first, come later,” he says, in such a way that makes Steve wonder if he’s not as present as he thinks he is. “Do you understand, Steve?”

“What? Why?” he asks. Was he not good? “I can’t. I’m too hard already. Please, Sir?”

“Steve, no. It’s like crying, where hormones and bad feelings get released through tears. Crying serves a beneficial purpose. Releasing and coming when you have a designation is a massive expulsion of various hormones and chemicals. We need a few of these swollen glands to give.”

Steve shakes his head. Bucky sighs. “Do you understand that release and orgasm are different for you?”

“Please. I just need to come and have you in me. I can’t think about anything else. That’s what I need,” he says, and slides his hand up Bucky’s leg.

Bucky’s hand covers his, stopping him. “No. That’s what you _want._ It isn’t what you _need_. I’m telling you how we are going to do this,” he says, all dominance and command. It makes him want to be obey and also makes him feel like he needs Bucky in him even more than he did. If he got Bucky’s dick inside him, he’d never let him go. “Me and you. Be my good boy now, Steve. Can I call you a good boy?”

“I don’t like it,” Steve says, tears filling his eyes. His stomach flip flops and he looks down, wanting to hide. He doesn’t deserve it. And especially not with Bucky. He isn’t Bucky’s boy and if he was, he wouldn’t be good. It’s a lie from start to finish.

“Then I won’t say it,” Bucky says, like it’s that easy. “Let’s get you somewhere more private,” he says, and gets Steve up off the ground. There’s a Designation Room in the gym and they go there, Bucky swiping his key card for access and helping Steve to the bed. It’s half kinky sex room and half medical clinic, Steve thinks. He hasn’t been in one before. He’s seen one, looked inside but he’s done his best to avoid it, praying he’d never be in this position.

“Take your clothes off, Steve.” He gets his shirt off, the fabric scraping over his nipples, and making him gasp. He lays back to get his pants down and then sits back up again. Bucky is finishing washing his hands and he opens a few drawers, pulls out a syringe and grabs an alcohol wipe. He turns back to Steve and stops in his tracks.

“Jesus. You are unbelievably beautiful, Steve.”

“No, I’m not. This is all a lie, too. I just can’t take this one off,” he says, and leaves his shoes on, sweats at his ankles because it’s too much effort. He must look ridiculous but it doesn’t quite register.

“Lay back, Steve.”

Steve flops back to the bed, raises his hands to put them on his pecs, but they’re too aching and hot so he just rests them there and waits. His cock is hard and twitching. He feels it leaking, primed and looking for an excuse to come. There’s a cool wipe on his sack, right at the base of his shaft.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Steve says.

“Afraid not. It just needs to penetrate the skin, it doesn’t have to actually go into anything.”

“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”

“You’re okay, Steve,” Bucky says. Steve puts his arm over his eyes, body rigid while he waits. Bucky’s thumb pulls his skin taught. He can feel an exhale against his balls and he shivers.

“Jesus, you breathing on me is enough to make me lose it. Fuck, I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you. It’s awful.”

“Here we go,” Bucky murmurs and he feels the sting of the needle. Tears well in his eyes. It isn’t all that painful so he has no need to cry. His next breath in and out is wet. Bucky gets up, disposes of the syringe and comes back.

Cold is seeping through him. Like ice water in every vein and capillary is radiating out form his balls to his cock and his ass. It doesn’t feel right. “Can I hold you? It takes a minute.”

“I might come,” Steve confesses. Bucky being anywhere near him isn’t a good idea if the goal is for Steve to not come.

“Oh, sweetheart. I don’t think you will now. The shot’s working. Let me hold you for a minute. Please? You were so good.”

He wasn’t good. But, he’s weak. And he wants to touch him so Steve sits up carefully, shifts forward so his balls don’t get squished at all. Bucky is in front of him, on his knees, palms open in invitation. Steve wraps his arms around his neck, buries his face in his neck and breathes him in.

“I wasn’t good, Sir.” It’s muffled into Bucky’s skin.

“Why not?” Bucky asks, after a few moments. His arms slide around Steve loosely and one hand strokes up and down his back gently.

“Because of what I did to you. How I acted.”

“We’re past that now, sweetheart. That’s over.”

He almost protests. It isn’t over. There was no punishment or forgiveness. Bucky didn’t do anything to have Steve atone.

“Oh.” Steve says, not quite meaning to say it aloud. It’s just such an awful realization he can’t help it. This isn’t his Sir. Bucky doesn’t want him or care about him enough to punish him. That’s why he’s letting it go. Bucky leans away from him, looks at Steve’s face. He grabs a few tissues and hands them to Steve. Tears. Great.

“Okay. I don’t even want to get near your claiming glands. You should start working on them in the shower,” he says, and he looks down Steve’s body to his soft cock and small balls. “There you go. I’m a little worried you’ll burn through the drug before I’ve got you released enough so I’m not going to touch your cock and balls if I can help it. Can you be responsible for them?”

“In what way? Are they crossing the street?” Because he is the owner of said cock and balls. He’s aware and familiar with touching them, he thinks, all snark.

Bucky’s lips quirk into a smile. “You’ll release a lot and have the desire to help your balls empty. You’ll want to touch yourself, someone has to watch out for the mess. You might try to keep stimulation to a minimum, if possible.”

This is way more personal than he’d thought. The embarrassment is growing. The shame. He looks down and his cock is small. Totally flaccid. When’s the last time that happened? It’s almost like before, how he used to look. The serum keeps him at a low simmer all the time, a little full and half-hard.

But now he looks like a submissive should. As he should have. He blushes, all over his body, and his pecs zing like they’ve been zapped with electricity. His pecs are big. It was the strangest change after the serum. He jogs and they bounce. Steve thinks they’re the best physical change to come from the serum. A dominant could really play rough with them, fuck them, suck on them, grope them and bite them. He could even wear a bra if his sir wanted him to. Something pretty and silky under his clothes. 

He hadn’t had the chance or really the desire to let someone touch him. Now he’s desperate for it and Bucky is going to do it but it’s not because Bucky is going to get off on it but because it will make him release. It’s kind of sad to think his first experience is going to be this way. Maybe he deserves this, too.

Bucky’s thumb swipes away a tear from his cheek. “What is it, baby?”

He shrugs. It doesn’t really matter.

“Stevie,” he says, commanding.

“I wish I hadn’t fucked things up earlier. I wish you wanted me and….” He swallows, kind of hopes Bucky will say something so he doesn’t have to continue. “My tits, pecs, are so big and painful right now. My cock is so soft and small and I wish I was with someone who liked that. That makes me sound ungrateful. I know you’re helping me. I’m sorry, Sir.”

“Sweetheart. You’re very beautiful. Every part of you, Steve.”

That isn’t what he wants to hear. He puts a hand on himself, can fit his balls and cock in his hand he’s so small. A silent offer. “So fucking pretty, Steve. They are. So pink and soft. I can promise you that your dominant would touch you so much you’d be sore.”

“No, I usually get hard. It’s never like this.”

Bucky takes in a long breath, holds it for a few seconds, exhales slowly. His hand clenches and unclenches like he was about to touch Steve. His voice is rough. “There are ways. We could keep you small sometimes.”

Steve’s breath hitches at the slip. He lets his eyes go up, pleading. Bucky shakes his head. “I do feel it, Steve. I’m just trying to do my job and not take advantage of you. If you’ve made it this far in life without giving yourself to a dominant, there’s likely a reason. When you were in control of your mind and body you chose that. I don’t want to take things from you just because your body wants it. Do you understand?”

He gets a lump in his throat. “There just wasn’t anyone. I wasn’t trying to save myself or something. I wish you wanted me. If I’m sad, or crying during this, it’s just that.” 

“Oh, Steve. Of course I want you. Do you want to feel how hard I am for you?”

“Yes, sir,” he says, shy and hesitant. He pulls back into himself a little. Not because he doesn’t want it but because he wants to feel like Bucky wants it too, like maybe he needs Steve’s hand on him and he’s going to use him because he just has to. He has his hands at his sides so Bucky has to take his wrist and tug him an extra few inches. He gasps and keeps his hand and body pliant, sways closer when his hand is pulled between Bucky’s legs.

“See what you do to me, baby?” he says, and Steve presses gently against the hard bulge of his cock. Bucky is big. Really big. Not just long but wide and getting that inside him would surely be a struggle.

“Can I…. suck it?” he asks, licking his lips.

“No, baby. It isn’t that I don’t want you to. Your mouth would be such a good home for me,” he says, staring longingly at Steve’s lips.

He licks them, he can’t help it. Bucky presses a finger to Steve’s mouth but doesn’t do anything else. He has the sense that Bucky is fighting with himself and what he’s going to let himself do with Steve.

“Bucky,” he says, and has a moment of terror where he thinks he accidentally said daddy. Steve presses his hand more firmly, rubbing gently to try and change Bucky’s mind. “Bucky, Bucky,” he whispers, just in case he’d said that other word. He can’t look at Bucky’s face. Because if he did somehow say _that_ word then it was a mistake and he’d like to move beyond it without awkwardness.

“Stop touching me now, sweetheart. Let me take care of you. Gotta get you sorted out, don’t we?”

He lets his hand fall because he’s got a second chance to be obedient and he’d like to show Bucky he can listen and be good sometimes. He isn’t a punk. Not really. It was a mistake.

“Okay, Steve. I’m going to touch you now. And you… um, you want me to tell you how lovely you are, right?”

“If you mean it.”

He lifts Steve’s chin so they make eye contact. “I mean it.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“You have perfect tits, Steve. They’re amazing. Thank you for letting me touch you this way,” he says, eyes half closed as he finally rubs his fingers over the nipples and lifts the weight of each one in his hands.

“Oh fuck!” he whimpers and his legs go wide and open. He shoves them into Bucky’s hands and grinds his ass against the bed. He knew he needed a touch and that it would be good. Relief for how sore and aching he is but it’s a horrible combination of pleasure and pain and he’s instantly in love with and terrified of the feeling, the possibility of just how much pain he could be in with very little effort on Bucky’s part.

“You have to fuck me. I need you in me,” he begs, aching.

“No, you just have to endure for a while, Steve. You can do it. For me. Don’t you want to be good for me? Let me play?”

“Yes, Bucky.” Fingers bite into his nipples. “Bucky!” he says, again. Just making sure he got it right. Not daddy.

There’s agony in his chest, pain so big that it’s wiping out any hint of pleasure. He starts to lose himself to it, like it’s dragging him inside himself. He wants to follow it down and see where he winds up. A shiver goes through him and he touches himself, pulling on his soft, small cock, hand suddenly soaked. He looks down, come is dribbling out of him even though he can’t feel the orgasm happening. There wasn’t one.

Bucky puts a cloth under his cock, catching most of it while Steve tugs on himself miserably. Some part of him knew to touch and jerk and make himself come, there’s a need for it, a restlessness inside him because he didn’t get what he really needs.

“Let go, baby,” Bucky finally says, kissing Steve’s forehead.

Steve lets go with a broken sound and puts his arms around Bucky’s neck, kisses what he can reach of his jaw and the column of his neck, open mouthed and with a hint of teeth becuase he needs to be fucked by him and he isn’t. Won’t be.

“Very good. That was so pretty, Steve. You were so lovely. Look how pink you are down there. How slick. Still leaking a little for me.”

“It didn’t feel like _anything_. I’m so…I need it, and it isn’t happening. Bucky,” he gasps, almost sobbing with it. 

“I know. It’s mean, isn’t it?” Bucky asks, tone so deep and dark that Steve grasps onto it. Pulls back to look at Bucky. _Oh._

“Too mean,” Steve whispers, lower lip trembling.

“No, sweetheart. You have no idea how mean I could be to you.” The lust in his voice has Steve’s ass clenching in want.

“Please, Sir.” His hips rise off the bed like he might be able to lower down on a cock. His Sir’s cock. Daddy’s cock. Bucky kisses Steve on the mouth, shoves his tongue in deep and grabs hold of Steve’s tits, squeezing them together ruthlessly and pinching his nipples. He’s digging in, murmuring something sweet while the pain builds and builds like an orgasm and finally erupts, muscles shaking and strung tight then going lax. Steve cries out at the intensity of it, makes little whimpering sounds because Bucky is closer now and his heat and will is radiating off of him. He might push Steve down and fuck him. He might take Steve dry. He might bite kisses into his skin and leave him marked and bruised.

Bucky is trembling with how much he wants Steve. “That was you,” Steve murmurs, incoherent and not sure he makes any sense. But, that release, because he just had a second one and it fucking hurt, that was forced out of him by Bucky and his desire. It’s what his dominant needed and he’ll give him anything.“Have me then. You need me. I need you. Oh, fuck, _Bucky_.” 

“Shit. Sorry,” Bucky says, petting Steve gently. He even touches Steve’s neck, ghosting over the claiming glands and something inside him wants to just give up. Bare his neck and force this to happen.

Steve wants to slump forward into him, onto him. “I need your cock now, daddy.”

“Hush, no.” Bucky says, voice rough.

He’s touching Steve’s chest again. “One more and then we’re gonna check you. See if we got you on top of it at all.”

“Will it hurt?” he asks, gently. Already knowing the answer, but he’s pretty damned sure Bucky likes giving him the answer.

“Yes, sweetheart. I think it’s going to hurt a lot,” he whispers, lips close to Steve’s. 

“You want it to hurt. Want me to hurt.” He presses his lips to Bucky’s, closing that minuscule distance, and takes Bucky’s hand, puts it between his legs. He’s so soft and smooth, silken and flushed. Does Bucky like it? For once, Steve feels good. Like he’s how he’s supposed to be. Big tits and holes to be filled. He’s needy but not distracted by his own cock’s urgings. He’s parts for his daddy to play with.

“Do you like it?” Steve asks, ducking his head.

A smile. A quick kiss to his lips, Bucky’s hand gently cupping his balls. “I like everything about you. Which thing in particular are you asking about? How good you are at letting me hurt you? Fuck, you went all soft, Steve. You just gave in. So beautiful,” he says, sucking a mark into the base of Steve’s neck. His glands are higher, below his jaw but he’s so congested up there that it’s bright and painful. Bucky’s hands are on his back, keeping him upright because Steve’s gone weak. Bucky pulls back with a groan. “How sweet you sound and how needy you are? Your sweet tits? Am I getting closer?”

“Yes, daddy. Closer.” Shit. He’s just about positive he didn’t say Bucky.

Bucky chuckles, bends down, presses a kiss to the head of Steve’s cock, flicks his tongue against the slit, even pulls on him in a deep sucking motion, moaning when he gets a taste of Steve’s release. God, it feels so good, Steve thinks, dizzily and he can feel the blood begin to rush back in, knows he’s going to be hard if Bucky doesn’t stop.

“It’s wearing off.” It’s a horrible confession.

“Okay. We’ll be quick then. Be good and let me have a last look at your sweet little cock.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. It’s adorable. Just lovely. Tastes sweet, too. I love that you’re not hard for me.”

“Yes, Sir.” He blushes. “Wish it was all about you. I promise I can be good.” 

Bucky’s touching Steve’s chest again, gentle, but he’s so sore and overworked, his glands screaming at him that it’s already making tears run down his cheeks. “I know you can. You are good.”

“I was bad earlier, daddy. _Sir_.”

“Of course you came back to it. Good boys always do. And you are a good boy, Steve. So, let’s have you do this one more time. Punishment. You’re going to hurt and daddy is going to be happy. Stevie, this will make everything okay. Do you understand?”

“Yes, daddy. Thank you,” he says, meaning it. Letting the tears run and his shoulders hunch as a sob wells out of him. He shouldn’t have lied. He ruined any chance with Bucky and was so horrible. It feels like the worst thing he’s ever done. He wants his daddy to forgive him. He needs it.

“You were naughty earlier, weren’t you? Manipulative and deceitful. Don’t cry. Look at me. This makes it okay. This is going to hurt, Steve. You’ll feel it for a few days. And every time you feel it, every time you touch yourself and make yourself come you’ll remember this and that I forgave you and that you were _good_ for _me_. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good boy. Touch me however you want. You won’t release quickly. You’re overstimulated here.”

Steve tries to prepare himself, hands fisting in Bucky’s shirt then letting go. Without really meaning to, one hand comes up, automatically reaching for the strap of his shield, like he’s going to tighten it before battle. He grabs onto Bucky again, lets his head rest against him and Bucky presses, squeezing in the tenderest parts of him, under and all around the nipple.

He feels like his hole is open, that he’s aching so badly back there, almost heavy with it because his body knows his dominant is going to use him after this. He’ll have to. Bucky is pressing still, slow and steady while Steve struggles to not stop him. He’s bruising inside, he’s sure of it. His glands don’t release quickly, there’s no painful pinnacle and then calm down, it’s steady and grinding, awful and he takes breaths and exhales while it goes on and on. He breaks out into a sweat and is about to plead with him for it to be over when his body goes tight again, pulling in on itself with the pain and then he goes limp again and hauls in a breath.

Bucky lets go of his tits. Steve’s hands go to his chest, holding them protectively.

Bucky is wiping at Steve’s cock, catching the last of his release as it spills out of him. “What a perfect boy you are? Was that hard, Steve?”

“Yes, Sir. I didn’t like it,” he confesses. He didn’t but he did. He’s going to jerk off thinking about it later. He’s going to press his tits against the cold hard marble counter in his apartment until he’s crying in agony and then he’s going to come so fucking hard.

He opens his eyes and can see how hard Bucky is. His hand lifts away from his chest and there’s a painful throb as he lets go. He cups Bucky’s cock in his hand. “Please. Please let me.”

“Steve. This isn’t about me. You’ll be a lot happier tomorrow if we don’t.”

He’s wrong. But, Steve is trying to be good. And good means obeying and not causing his dominant more stress. He lets go.

Bucky checks him again, a swab in his mouth and then a prick of his finger, a swipe of his blood on a strip.

“I feel fine now,” Steve says, and it’s a lie but he does feel a hell of a lot better than he did. Pretty close to how he normally feels. Better in some ways.

Bucky doesn’t even look at him. He’s looking at the machine in front of him. “Every marker is better. You cried a lot which helped. Three releases was good and there was a lot of come. For future reference, you found a lot of satisfaction in that type of pain. There was a huge endorphin release which kind of mops up some of the bad stuff that was floating around. But, I can’t tell what’s going on for a drop. What do you think?” He looks at Steve finally, waiting for an answer.

“No. I don’t drop,” he says, blushing.

“Everyone with a submissive designation drops.”

Reality is very, very close now. The room has fluorescent lights which Steve hates. His cock is getting hard again and it’s not like Bucky is going to fuck him so it’s a bit pointless and revealing. He doesnt’ want to be vulnerable anymore.

He shifts to the side and gets his pants up. God, he was still wearing his shoes and pants. So unappealing. So sloppy. As if he didn’t even care to impress his dominant. A dominant. Steve reaches for his shirt.

“Wait. Maybe some arnica for your chest.” Bucky gets to his feet and pulls open a drawer, hands a tube of something to Steve. He puts it on his chest, rubbing it in. Bucky looks at Steve’s chest and away. Steve is covered in hair. His chest has hair, he has a happy trail, and a jungle downstairs. It’s mortifying how little effort he’d made for Bucky. Not that it was intentional. He didn’t know he’d be naked but all that hair isn’t what he likes or feels comfortable having. Bucky was probably repulsed.

Ugh. There’s a lot about what just happened that he doesn’t want to think about. And, he’s positive he called him daddy at least once. Daddy. How fucking stupid. He buries his head in his hands. Bucky comes closer, puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder. A gentle squeeze.

“Steve? Can you look at me?”

“Why?” he asks, feeling like shit again.

Bucky’s hand tightens in his hair, tilts his head back and looks him in the eyes. “Sweetheart. The crash is done but I think we need to talk about your drop.”

“I didn’t come yet,” he says.

“You’re dropping anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you all so much for the comments. They definitely motivate me. I wanted to get this out on Thanksgiving but just couldn't wrangle it all together. 
> 
> There's some newish world building here that's different from Sniper. If things don't make sense or you have ideas on things you want more of or suggestions on how stuff should work, I'm open to it. This gland nonsense is pretty rare (I'll take links to other stories if people have them bc I'd love to have this be something that's actually out there and I just don't know about it. Atomicfrond's story is basically the only one I know of and this is heavily inspired by that amazing fic) so any comments regarding why it's good or the power dynamics are things I'm happy to hear about and try to answer. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and hope you liked this chapter. And yes, there is defo sex in the next chapter! ;)


	3. Chapter 3

“Should I go to medical?”

“Do you want to?” Bucky asks.

Steve swallows. “You’ve already done so much for me,” he says, looking down. He pulls against Bucky’s tight hand, wanting to break the connection between them. Bucky loosens his grip and Steve exhales, shaky and loud as Bucky’s fingers slip through his hair.

“If you go to medical they’ll give you a shot to calm you, get you an IV so you stay well hydrated and keep you for 24 hours to make sure you’re mentally and physically okay to be on your own. Someone from my department would need to sign off on discharging you, probably me. The drug they typically use is called Subutane. It mimics dominant hormones. It will force you into subspace for an extended period so your body can drop and recover. It will leave you aching, chilled and in a really shitty mood for the next week. They’d want you to come by my office every day for some time spent having some physical contact with a dominant. Drugs aren’t as good as the real thing. Touch and scent of a dominant is better than nothing and will help you recover faster.”

“Well, that all sounds awful,” Steve says, and wipes his eyes with the palms of his hands. He sniffs loudly. Bucky gets him some kleenex and comes back to stand between Steve’s open legs. Steve’s head is basically crotch height, a little above. Him being so close, in Steve’s personal space, looming over him is an easy way to see how receptive Steve is to him.

He basically knows the answer. Steve is keyed into him to an unusual degree, but it’s always good to check. He doesn’t want to assume, especially when Steve has so little experience.Steve’s total inability to control his submission is mind-bogglingly ignorant. He has to remind himself that sexual education for people with designations only became mandatory 30 years ago and that a lot of states teach only ways to curb one’s needs and self-regulate through mindfulness, exercise and chastity. Religious groups would rather people take drugs then engage in sex, even though sex is the best way to get through a drop.

It’s quite likely Steve heard those types of views a lot when he was growing up. Mind over matter, pray, exercise. That certain people just couldn’t control themselves. His lack of knowledge combined with his apparent lack of need has put them both in a weird spot. Steve Rogers crashed because of his encounter with Bucky. He isn’t even sure why or when it happened. It wasn’t like they’d been playing and had to stop or he was Steve’s regular dominant and his body expected certain things from him and wasn’t going to get them.

Crashing is something one grows out of with a bit of experience. Like coming too quickly or being unable to stop one’s self from getting hard. Obviously, there are times it happens, but in general it doesn’t. Submissives know how to take care and monitor themselves so it doesn’t get that bad.

“I’m giving you a choice, Steve. I’ll take you to medical or you can have me.”

“You’re volunteering to help me out of my drop?” Steve asks, looking up at him with wide, blue eyes. He’s so damned lovely.

“It isn’t a hardship,” he says, touching Steve’s bottom lip. Steve licks his finger, because, of course he does, and Bucky brings it to his own mouth, sucking on the same spot. Steve blushes, bright pink and rocks gently against the bed. This will be sex of some sort. There’s no avoiding it and Bucky doesn’t want to. “And, I suppose this is technically part of my job.”

“You fuck submissives for your job?”

Bucky laughs. “No, Steve. I help agents with designations stay in control or get regulated. The work we do messes with the steadiest of people. I assess and coordinate with medical. There’s isn’t usually sex involved.” Although, the reason sex isn’t usually involved is because every submissive has some dominant they rely on. Sex is the best and easiest answer for people with designations and he’s done it before in a work capacity. Steve has no one to rely upon.

Steve swallows and looks at Bucky hungrily. “What if I need it?”

“Then I’ll give it to you.”

Steve looks down again, hands raising to Bucky’s thighs, resting there. “It isn’t an ‘if’. I said ‘if’ but I don’t mean it. I have to come and I want… I _need _your come.”

Bucky can see Steve’s hard cock flex in his pants. He’s wet at the front, beginning to leak in expectation of dropping completely. “Good. I want to give it to you,” he says, pretty sure that’s what Steve needs to hear at this point. That he’s wanted, that they’d be in it together. 

“Thank you…sir,” he whispers. Steve is very still, muscles stiff. As if he’s afraid of what he might do or say, perhaps that he might startle Bucky away. He doesn’t believe he’s going to get what he wants. “I’m burning inside. I’m so empty. It hurts.” Steve confesses.

Bucky makes a sympathetic noise but has nothing to say. His own cock is hard and his instincts are urging him to fuck Steve into the middle of next week. He looks around the room, bites his lip hard, wanting a bit of clarity. He tastes blood, just a hint, but still. So stupid.

“What do you like, Steve? How do you usually go down?”

“I don’t know. _Please,_” Steve begs. He’s staring at Bucky’s cock, hard and in his face, only fabric keeping him from what he wants. “I only need this,” Steve says, decisively, trying to undo Bucky’s pants and get his cock out. Bucky puts a hand in Steve’s hair and tilts his head back so he can see his eyes. Steve moans gratefully, lets his head go back, sweet and easy.

“Deep breaths, Steve. Calm down. Let’s back up and start slower. Pain or pleasure?”

“Um, both?”

“Well, that’s a good answer,” he says, and Steve smiles back at him tentatively. “Do you like oral sex? Anal sex?”

“Yes, sir.” He raises a brow, almost a challenge.

“I won’t be giving you oral,” he says, to clarify. “You’re the one who needs come in you. Although, if you want me to blow you at the end, for when I let you drop into subspace, I will. Happily,” he amends. He hadn’t really meant to offer that.

“So you will blow me?” Steve asks, cheekily.

Bucky slaps him gently across the face, no more than a touch, his cheek doesn’t even go pink. Steve’s head turns with it, his hand goes to his cock and he grunts. He looks up to Bucky with his lips open and pupils already blown. He’s so fucking eager to go down. 

“Beautiful,” he says.

Steve goes forward, buries his face in Bucky’s crotch, mouthing at him. “I ache for this. You smell so good. And, fuck, you’re so big.”

“Does my smell make you feel better or hurt more?”

Steve shivers. He’s breathing in and out and but he stops rolling his face against Bucky’s cock (more’s the pity) and seems to be a little more under control. He pushes himself back, hands go to his knees. He rubs up and down his own thighs. “I’m not sure. Is there a right answer?”

He almost laughs. “No, I guess not. If you had my hands on you where would you want them?”

He looks at Bucky’s cock longingly. Right. Steve isn’t going to be of any help here.

“Can you pull through with just a blow job or should I fuck you?”

Steve shakes his head like he doesn’t know. The reality that Steve has no idea hits Bucky hard. He has no idea what he needs, how to satisfy himself and make sure he gets a good drop instead of a bad drop. “Sweetheart, are you a virgin?”

“No,” Steve says. “Anything you want to do to me, I’ve done before. I can take it.”

He puts a hand on Steve’s jaw, forces eye contact. “You _can_ take it or you _want_ it?”

“With you? I want it.” 

“I’m going to touch you now. Can you keep your hands to yourself or should I tie you up?”

“I can break anything you put on me.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess so. Try to keep your hands to yourself then.” Bucky wants to keep some boundaries between them. Make it as professional and impersonal as a deeply intimate and personal situation can be.Is it even possible? “You know the traffic light system? Say red if there’s a problem?”

“Course.” Steve whimpers. He bends down to kiss Steve. Steve’s mouth opens in anticipation and Bucky kisses him hard and deep, claiming and messy. “Please just fuck me,” he whispers, eyes closed.

“Impatient and impertinent,” he says, which is actually a line from a tv show, but Steve doesn’t know that as his eyes snap open and he looks at Bucky like he’s just called him worthless.

“Sir?” he asks, very softly. There are even tears filling his eyes.

“No, baby,” Bucky says, all of his dominant, protective instincts roused. “It’s from a television show, something the main character says. It’s not me saying you’re bad. You’re _not_ bad. You’re lovely and good.”

“Please,” he whispers, hand going to Bucky’s cock, gently over the shape of him.

“Steve. Do you know you’re good? You believe me?”

Steve flinches.

“Sweetheart, did someone tell you that you were bad?” he can’t tell if there’s more to this, some issue or deep seated belief that he’s bad, a bad relationship in his past, or if it’s just Steve. It could even be an expression of his designation, that his default is wanting to be the best. For himself and his dominant. That’s what helps him let go or what he needs to feel secure and vulnerable. He just can’t tell yet.

Steve chews on his lip. “I’m sorry I lied to you before. I don’t… I don’t want to do that again.”

Bucky moves his hands over Steve’s shoulders, pulling him in so his head is against Bucky’s stomach. “That’s done, Steve. We’ve moved on. You were punished and you need to let it go.” He feels Steve’s hands trying to get to his bare skin, under his shirt. He’s desperate and clumsy and Bucky would help him if it wasn’t so arousing to watch Steve be so needy for him.

Steve gets his shirt up, presses his face to Bucky’s abs and breathes him in. One hand drops down to his cock and he’s fumbling, trying to get to himself and jerk off. “You can’t come yet or you’ll drop too hard, Steve. I’ll decide when.” Steve’s shoulders shake in misery.

“Fuck. Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir,” he whispers, sounding nothing like himself. The bluster and dominance of before, even the hesitation of earlier is all gone. The Steve in front of him, close to dropping and his real needs shining through, mean Bucky’s left with the sweetest, softest boy he’s ever seen. He can see it in the way he looks at Bucky, the sound of his voice which has gone high and lost. Steve had called him daddy earlier but Bucky’d been happy to let it lie as Steve seemed so uncomfortable. Now it’s back, hovering between them. Who’d have thought that Steve Rogers was desperate for a daddy to take care of him?

“Hey. Do you want to be my very best boy?” he asks, and puts a finger under Steve’s chin, tilting his face up.

Steve looks shocked.

“It’s okay, Steve. I see you. I don’t know what you experienced before and it doesn’t matter. You’re with me now and you make me very happy. I don’t let good boys fail.”

“What if I…what if I’m not a good boy?”

“Who’s in charge of deciding that?”

“You.” He whispers.

“_Who_?” he demands, again, and the look of need in Steve’s eyes, the fear and hope makes him want to own Steve completely. Just haul him out of this room and keep him full of his come and his praise. He’d never let him go.

“Can I say it? You won’t be mean about it?”

“I’d be very honored if you did,” Bucky says, and rubs his thumb along Steve’s bottom lip. “You’re a good boy, Steve. And I won’t let you fail. It’s going to be difficult tonight and you’re going to cry for me, baby. But, I won’t deny you. You obey me and I’ll give you my cock and my come. I’ll make sureyou know you made me so fucking happy. And I won’t let you drop until it’s going to be good for you.”

Steve’s eyes close. “Do you promise?”

“I do. Now. Who decides if you’re a good boy?”

“You, daddy. Thank you, daddy.” Steve cries then, just sobs and Bucky takes his shirt off, unbuttons his pants and pulls out his cock, offering it to Steve like a pacifier. Steve takes it gently, almost worshipfully, as if he’s been given a prize he doesn’t deserve and he sucks, sweet and lazy, eyes closed.

“There you go. Your mouth is perfect, Steve. Keeping me warm and safe.” He cups Steve’s cheek, and touches his lips, the damp seam where they meet. “You make me need to come, Steve. That’s how good of a boy you are. Would you like that?”

He opens his mouth, pulls back, kisses the head. “Yes, daddy.” And then he’s back, sucking on Bucky’s cock in steady pulls and swirls of his tongue. Bucky grunts and manages not to shove forward but it’s difficult.

The urge to wreck Steve, have him gagging and leaking and swollen, needy and begging isn’t something he usually indulges in. It’s one of those kinks that’s dependent upon his partner. Steve isn’t just rousing instincts, he feels like Steve is redefining him completely. Steve is a needy boy and so Bucky will be the daddy he needs. He’s almost 100% sure they’re Compatible and that’s at least part of his increased desire to use and then care for Steve. Why they’re here, inseparable and urgent.

His usual style of dominance is rather cool and distant. He likes bondage and floggers, the occasional whip because everything is controlled. His partner is secure and at his mercy. There is a distance between them, and all of his focus goes to where the implement will land next. The canvas in front of him. When his partner releases sufficiently, Bucky will come on them, in their mouth or very occasionally rut against their ass until he comes. And that’s only if he’s feeling really pent up and turned on by his partner.

Bucky prefers the distance.

And, anal sex is typically out altogether. That’s fucking intimate. There’s time and preparation and he’s so dominant that if he fucks someone in the ass they go down deep into submission. The aftercare is typically not worth the fleeting pleasure.

He’s likely going to fuck Steve.

If Steve was in his right mind and knew anything at all about himself or how they’re responding to each other, he’d be fucking terrified of his reaction to Bucky. Steve’s eyes are still closed as he sucks on Bucky’s cock, gentle and with all of his focus. “You’re an absolutely perfect boy, Steve.”

He’s very aware that he almost said Steve was his perfect boy. He’s pretty sure he didn’t. It’s worrying.

Steve is fucking terrifying, and Bucky knows he isn’t going anywhere so long as Steve needs him. Doesn’t want to. Hell, maybe he couldn’t even if he did want to. Every moment they spend together ties them closer and closer together. They just met and here they are. Yikes.

Now Steve looks at him. A little suspicious and yet hopeful. Wanting it to be true. “It’s true,” he says, and Steve’s eyes spill tears again. Happy this time. Jesus Christ.

He can’t imagine whipping Steve. Can’t really imagine tying him up (Even if it was possible to keep him secure) because the idea of Steve breaking form, needing him so badly he reaches for Bucky is deeply arousing. He wants to hear him moan and swallow down Steve’s cries. That all requires closeness and intimacy.

He knows, instinctively, that Steve wouldn’t like being far away from him. Boys get comfort and affection from their daddies. He’d get emotional support and physical closeness. Steve needs that. Bucky wants him close, too. He can do all of those things… can’t he? Not from a distance but inhabit that part of himself to be what Steve needs? He’s never tried before but he has to try. 

Steve is redefining him. If his boy wasn’t so lovely and didn’t feel so good, he’d be running away screaming. He’ll have to give physically, too. Bucky won’t be jerking himself off or rutting against Steve’s ass. Nothing is going _on_ Steve. No, Steve is going to work for Bucky’s come. He’s going to earn it, pull it out of Bucky, show him how grateful he is by swallowing it down and keeping it deep in him. The completion of a scene is typically orgasm, his and the submissive’s. The submissive’s reward is a good drop and/or stability. Bucky’s reward is typically just coming. That won’t be enough with Steve. His reward is coming _in_ Steve. Having him keep it and _accept_ it. Recognize it as something he earned because he made his dominant happy. It’s different. Totally different.

It becomes…mutual?

He’s always provided. Been practically a service top because he’s too dominant, and has learned to be content with that. He won’t be content until Steve gives him everything. And he might, if Bucky pushes. It’s not fair. Steve doesn’t even understand.

Steve shudders and wraps a hand around his stomach in agony, needing Bucky’s come.

“Here. Let’s do your mouth first and see if you’re alright.” Steve is hazy with lust and pleasure, practically drunk off his cock alone. If Steve were his, he’d spend a lot of time with Bucky’s cock in his mouth. He’s never seen a submissive look so fulfilled and happy just from this. “Steve, we don’t have time.” And isn’t that a fucking crime? “I need to come in your mouth, baby. I can, um, jerk off onto your tongue, or you need to take me deep and get me to come. But, make it fast, sweetheart.” He puts a hand on Steve’s cheek, feeling the shape of himself through his flesh.

“You’re so big, daddy,” Steve breathes, and he is fucking out of it.The old fashioned terminology and the implications that go with it, the way Steve said it and doesn’t even seem aware of it half the time, like it’s bubbling out of his subconscious rather than a choice, make Bucky desperate, get him to the edge. He lets Steve keep nursing him and slides in and out a little, getting Steve’s lips along his glans while he massages the base of his cock, his own swollen dominant glands insistent. God, he wants to fuck Steve’s face.

Gentle. He’ll keep everything gentle. He can do that at least.

“Damnit, we’re really Compatible, sweetheart. I’ll have to fuck you too, Steve.”

Steve makes a sound of agreement and it’s so sweet, his lips getting so pink and red from the way he’s sucking, that the orgasm rises in Bucky. “I’m going to come. Here, sweetheart,” he says, and unloads in heavy spurts. Steve swallows eagerly and squirms, shoves a hand between his legs, trying to get to his hole and rock onto it. He gasps and shudders when he touches himself, grinding back so desperately that Bucky’s cock slides out and stripes Steve’s upper lip and cheek. Steve dives back onto him, sucking too hard and Bucky has to grab his jaw to calm him down.

Steve goes lax at the rough hand, letting Bucky finish in his mouth and eventually pull free. “Sorry. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You did such a good job,” Bucky’s cock twitches one last time, come pearling at the tip. “You better have it all,” Bucky growls, but Steve is already on it, licking him delicately before he’s gotten the words out.

Bucky swipes his thumb across Steve’s cheek, getting a drop of come on the pad of his finger and putting it into Steve’s mouth. Steve sucks it off happily, eyes closed, a noise of contentment rumbling out of him as Bucky’s come satisfies him.

“You look pleased with yourself,” Bucky says, taking his thumb out. Steve licks his lip, getting the last bit of come in his mouth and swallows with a soft sound.

“God, that was good. You taste perfect. Almost heavy. Rich. I feel you in my stomach.” He sounds like it’s a miracle, a divine gift.

“That’s part of us being so Compatible.” Steve nods, but Bucky isn’t sure how much Steve understands or if this is new information. “Lay back,” he orders, and gets lube. When he turns back, Steve is laid out, naked and so damned pink.

His cock is huge and perfectly formed like the rest of him. Steve looks at him and then away, embarrassed. Pre-come is glistening all along his stomach in a heavy smear and Bucky ducks down to lick it up, suck it into his mouth. Steve puts his hands in Bucky’s hair, rocks his hips up, quietly begging with his movements. “Daddy. Daddy, please. Please make it stop,” he asks.

“You’re a good boy, baby.”

“I wasn’t,” he says, sobbing, going back to before like he can’t get out from the weight of it all. They’ll need to talk about it more, after. So much to talk about. Bucky shushes him and sucks Steve into his mouth. Steve shudders under him, legs widening in invitation. Bucky’s fingers go down to his hole and Steve groans in frustration. He feels Steve’s attention shift as Steve tries to grab the lube, get the packet open.

High noises of frustration, desperation are coming from him. His cock jerks in Bucky’s mouth, and there’s a hint of bitterness to him still. He should be light and sweet but this has all been difficult for Steve and his taste reflects that, the release of chemicals in his body. He pulls off of Steve’s cock and goes for the glands in Steve’s groin. He forces them to release. Hard and perfunctory. Steve’s cock twitches, a large pulse wells up along the big vein and he releases, weak but copious. “Ow, oh, fuck,” he gasps, hips tilting upwards. Bucky kisses each swollen point and Steve whimpers, touches Bucky’s hair like he’s scared and might have to stop him if it hurts too much.

“You wouldn’t,” Bucky says, rolling up his eyes to look at him.

“No, sir. I’m sorry, daddy.” He presses his hands to the bed. “Please, daddy, I need you inside me,” he whispers.

“I know, sweetheart. I’ve got you,” He presses a lingering kiss to the tenderest point of Steve’s gland and Steve watches him, breath hitching in worry. “So good, Steve. That’s right. Let daddy.” Bucky takes the lube packet and coats his fingers, presses two to Steve’s entrance. After all the glands releasing he’ll be loose enough for two to go in easy.

He slides them into Steve, to the second knuckle without so much as a spasm of protest. “Look at you, fucking made for me,” Bucky growls. Steve’s body is god damned swallowing him. He feels the large bump of his submissive gland next to his prostate. Hot and swollen. “That’s going to feel so good on me, sweetheart.”

“It aches. Daddy!” he gasps, and whimpers as Bucky strokes over it again. Tears slip down Steve’s cheeks.

“Baby. Oh sweetheart, you’re swollen here too,” he says, fingers brushing the glands tucked just inside Steve’s rim. Steve keens at the pleasurable agony of it and Bucky finds himself moving over Steve, knee on the bed, fingers pulling out, needing to fuck him now. He puts more lube on his fingers and presses three into him. Steve ripples around him, trying to milk him, body ready for Bucky’s cock, his biological drive to be sated urging him onwards.

“I can’t wait. I…please.” Steve tries to turn over.

“No. I’ll look at your face for this.” Steve bites his lip. “Hands under your knees, sweetheart. Open wide for me.”

“I want to hold you. Please” Steve begs.

“We need the angle. You’re so swollen inside, you’ll like it better this way. Ass up high.”

“No, I need to touch you,” Steve argues.

“Sweetheart, I’ve told you how to make it hurt less. It’s your choice. But, I’ll be fucking you now.” Bucky lines himself up, presses into Steve and watches Steve’s body swallow him up. His head slides along the swollen glands and Steve cries out, tilts back farther like he’s trying to get away and Bucky sinks in until he’s all the way seated. Steve is breathing harsh and shallow.

“How’s my good boy?” he asks, leaning down. He sucks Steve’s lower lip into his mouth and Steve’s passage convulses around him. He pulls out and fucks back into him hard in response. Steve whimpers, clutching his knees, tilting open and up after all.

“I have no fucking idea,” Steve whispers, teeth gritted. The need to come is intense. His own balls are throbbing. He rests on a forearm and gets a hand down, trying to ease the pressure in his own shaft where he’s got a dominant gland that’s swollen for Steve. His balls throb, and Bucky shivers hard as a spasm rolls through him, come pulsing into Steve’s body, a precursor of his orgasm.

“If I go slow, it will be better for you. You’re so swollen and tight when I get deep inside you. If I go faster I’ll probably come a lot sooner, just because of how good it feels for me, but you won’t like it nearly so much if you can’t get off on the pain. What do you think?” he asks, and circles his hips just a little, unable to hold still. “There is no wrong decision, Steve. How do you want to drop, what feeling would be best as you drift away?”

“I want to make you happy.”

“Oh, sweetheart. Of course you do. Lovely boy. Hold me close, baby.”

Steve’s arm wraps around his neck instantly, pulling Bucky flush against him. “Use me. You will, won’t you?” Steve rucks his body up, trying to keep a hard tilt while still touching Bucky, thighs hugging Bucky’s hips hard for leverage.

“I will. Promise. You going to make a good home for me, baby?” 

“I’m burning, daddy.” His body clenches again, exquisite on Bucky’s cock and he has to move. Steve groans and shakes every time Bucky glides along his swollen glands. Bucky aims for it, over and over again, massaging the head of his cock, getting Steve overly sensitive and loosening him up, deep inside. The glide into him gets slicker and easier as Steve’s glands spill hormones designed to make him receptive and heighten his arousal.

“Tighten on me, sweetheart.” Steve tightens and Bucky fucks through the clench, enjoying it. “Stay tight.”

“Daddy. I’m aching. Please, please make it stop. Just inside,” he whispers, pulling Bucky down for a kiss, trying to convince him. It’s what Bucky should do. If this is all about Steve, it’s the thing to do. He pulls out and slides back in a few inches, rubs over the spot that makes Steve arch and shudder, giving Steve what he wants rather than what Bucky needs. “There?”

“Yeah. Yes. Fuck.” Steve’s nostrils flare, his eyes slam shut and there’s a hard clench at his jaw as he tries to lose himself to the pleasure he wanted.

“If you can come then you can drop now baby.” Steve shoves a hand between their bodies. “No. Not like that. You come on daddy’s cock.”

“But, I…” Steve stops talking, hand moving towards his own cock again.

“_No_. Come from this. You’ll come from this or not at all,” he growls. “If we’re doing it how you really want it then you can do it.”

“Daddy,” he whispers, eyes open. He touches Bucky’s face, kisses his mouth sweetly, pleading with soft touches and desperate little sighs. “I _can’t_. I want to but I can’t. You said I’d come. You promised.”

Did he? Of course Steve will come. This is for him. Because Steve is dropping. This isn’t about Bucky.Bucky forces himself to stop thrusting, head dropping down to Steve’s chest and looks down between them, trying to reorient himself. Little movements. Gentle for his boy. As asked for. He’s providing a service. Helping Steve get through. Steve knows himself and what he likes.

Right. Except. Steve doesn’t know himself or what he likes. He certainly doesn’t know what he needs. He shoves deep again and Steve’s fingers dig into Bucky’s back. “I like it this way, Steve. You said… use you. Deep and hard, those glands all hot and squeezing me so good. Fuck, Steve, this is… I want you this way,” he says, and shoves a hand into Steve’s hair, gripping so tight he can’t move his head. Steve’s mouth opens in a silent cry and he clamps down hard on Bucky’s cock in a tight wave that almost makes him come.

“It’s a lot,” Steve says, clutching at Bucky’s ass, trying to keep him deep and still “Feels like I’m falling.”

“I bet it does. Sweet boy like you so needy and swollen like that all over. I’d work you over all the fucking time if you were mine, Steve. Squeeze those nipples and force you to spread your thighs and let me hurt you. And inside you, I’d fuck you til that gland is all soft, sweetheart. God, I just need to take care of you, baby,” Bucky is going to come, lost in the idea of all the things he’d do to Steve.

Steve swallows hard, head turning to the side. Bucky can practically see the swelling, feel the heat radiating off of Steve’s claiming glands. “Stevie. My good boy. If you were mine you’d always have hickeys and bite marks on your neck. Keep you sweet and easy,” he says, losing himself to the idea. God, he wants to come.

“Daddy. Bucky. I’m so tired now. Please let me go now,” he begs, pressing his tongue into Bucky’s mouth as Bucky starts fucking him again.Steve rocks and squeezes, urging Bucky to fuck him and come. “Please, daddy.”

They’re long thrusts, but Steve tries to make them shorter, difficult considering he’s trapped under Bucky’s body. Steve’s eyes close every time Bucky’s head goes over the glands tucked deep inside him and Steve tries to avoid it as much as possible, whimpering and flinching even as he drips onto his stomach. The orgasm is sluggish as Steve comes. Come pulses out of him and Steve has gone lax as it happens, dropping hard as he comes, it’s the best, most intense orgasm he could have. It goes on for a long time, each slow pulse rippling through Steve’s body. He opens his eyes and he’s pretty close to gone, his drop clearly peaceful, his features relaxed.

“God you’re lovely. I don’t want you to drop. I want to keep you here, whimpering and exhausted on my cock. I want to use you so fucking hard, Steve.”

He kisses Steve then, wills himself to come and fucks him steadily until he spends deep in him, ignoring the tempting glands and making this sweet boy sob and cry the night away. He knew Steve could come on his cock, knew how it had to be. He hopes Steve is happy when he comes out of it. That he agrees.

He pulls out as soon as he can and Steve turns to his side, towards Bucky, seeking him out as he gives in to the drop. Bucky presses a kiss to his cheek and gets a blanket, putting it over Steve. Steve is trembling, his drop not settled fully. Steve needs his daddy to let go. Bucky strips off his clothes and gets under the blanket.

He presses close along Steve’s back and fucks his cock back into Steve’s body, seating himself deeply. Steve groans at the intrusion, shifts, body trying to get comfortable, spasming on the length pressing inside him. He doesn’t settle until Bucky’s cock is lodged and pressing against his gland, nestled hard into it, cock deep and where he’s tightest and the most sore. He shivers and whimpers at the discomfort and drops completely.

He’s perfect. God, he hopes he did the right thing.


	4. Chapter 4

He can tell the moment Steve is awake. His arm is loosely draped over Steve’s waist, the other is being used as a pillow and his cock is still hard and being kept warm in Steve’s body. Bucky hasn’t slept at all. “It’s a very bad idea for us to do this again,” Bucky says. It’s all he’s been thinking about. Steve doesn’t respond. “I think we’d become dependent upon each other.”

“I don’t know the term but knowing the definition of dependent, then I guess that’s a bad thing,” Steve says, voice rough and a little slurred.

Bucky’s arm tightens around him. His forehead presses into Steve’s neck and Steve’s passage clenches on him, his body wanting to get fucked again. Bucky makes a low sound in his throat, choosing his words carefully. “When you find someone you’re this Compatible with, then one of two things typically happen. People either get married or they make sure they never see each other again.”

“Your pillow talk needs work,” Steve says, finally.

“Sorry.” Steve starts to pull away from him and he stops him, hauls him back. “I am sorry,” he murmurs into his skin. “I haven’t slept. It’s all I’ve been thinking about since you went down.”

“I thought this was your job. Shouldn’t you have the ‘morning after’ speech down?”

“Steve. This has nothing to do with my job or yours and everything to do with us and how we reacted to each other. Compatability is… I’m sorry.”

“Again, going off the definition of the word, it seems a little extreme to separate or get married just because we’re Compatible and have good sex,” Steve says, voice carefully neutral.

“It’s more than that. It’s rare. It probably happens once in a lifetime, or not at all. But, just because you’re Compatible doesn’t mean you get along or like each other. You can have amazing sex, the best sex of your life and the most intense scenes, but the vulnerability between a Compatible dominant and submissive can be scary. If you don’t actually like the other person, people can get seriously hurt. Emotionally and sometimes physically. It can be really traumatic. There’s a lot of horror stories. Nowadays, being submissive isn’t the problem, Compatibility gone wrong is what people fear. Every other horror movie is somehow based around designations and Compatibility is always the motivator. It’s like fucked up true love or something.”

He can feel Steve breathing, steady and strong. He hasn’t moved. Bucky’s cock is still hard, Steve’s body is still relaxed and comfortable. Intellectually they’re having one conversation while their bodies are doing their own thing. “Have you felt this way before? Compatible?” Steve asks, softly.

“No.” 

“I’m not disagreeing, well, maybe I am, but reaching that conclusion after dropping me once seems a bit presumptive. Was it really that different?”

“Yeah, it was. I’ve got a way I do things with submissives. That wasn’t it. That shouldn’t have happened.”

“Which part? Actually, never mind,” Steve says. He knows Steve is hurt by what he said but he doesn’t even know if clarifying is helpful. "If your designation makes you dependent upon someone then you _need_ them. The effect on brain chemistry is similar to heroin. Maybe you have it just once and you’re dependent, maybe you can do it a lot and never get addicted but brain chemistry changes, Steve. It can take years to get someone hormonally balanced again and sometimes one just can’t. Can you imagine needing someone, letting them have you again and again when you hate them and they hate you? How much you can hurt each other?”

“Look, my knowledge of how designation is understood today is clearly lacking. This was good, and I’m grateful that you helped me, but the explanation isn’t necessary. I get it. This won’t happen again—”

“Have you ever called anyone else daddy?” Bucky interrupts.

Steve is silent. “You offered me your neck, Steve. I almost did it.That’s not… that’s not the sort of thing to fuck around with,” Bucky says, flatly.

“That was difficult,” Steve concedes, quietly.

“You only fully dropped when I put my dick back in you. And, it explains the odd behavior of earlier. Both of our odd behaviors.” Bucky sighs. Feels the shiver go over Steve. Goosebumps rise on Steve’s skin. Steve is his. He is desperate to fuck him and claim him. He wants Steve calling him daddy, sobbing and sweet.

He puts a hand on Steve’s hip, a reminder to not fuck forward. He can’t pull out of Steve. He just… he _can’t._ Either Steve will be able to separate them or they’ll have one last round and leave when they’re spent. That’s a worst case scenario. He’s genuinely worried about their reactions to each other. The exchange of more hormones and bonding with each other is a bad idea.

“Did…did you know that there are chemicals released by the brain that make mothers fall in love with their children? So they’ll protect them with their life? Love is chemicals. Submission and domination is all chemicals.” He kisses Steve’s shoulder, his mouth opening and tongue swiping over his skin. He’s salty with sweat. The punishing boxing and sex makes his taste intoxicating. “I want to lick every fucking inch of you,” he growls. His mouth waters and he’s pressing teeth into Steve’s shoulder. “You have to get out of bed and pull away from me. I’m sorry, Steve. It’s really embarrassing but I just can’t.”

“Okay,” Steve says, and he sounds so strong and resolute all the sudden. He shifts, reaches between them, easing Bucky out of him slowly, careful. Bucky’s cock slaps back against his stomach and he grips it, jerking himself off quickly. Not even willing to look at Steve. He comes, makes no effort to fight it at all. It’s unsatisfying as hell and he groans miserably. He wants to curl up under the covers. He feels cold now. He should be fine in a few minutes, but it’s definitely uncomfortable and emotional.

“I’m going to tell Fury that I couldn’t evaluate you.”

“Why?” Steve asks, stopping as he’s tying the drawstring to his sweats.

“It’s very unlikely you’ll ever have this connection with another dominant and you’d be so heightened in the field that forcing you to drop would already be difficult. I don’t know if _I_ could get you to drop in the field. Not for sure. If you don’t register on the tests and you’ve only got one person you go down for, and that’s because I’m your biologically perfect match, then it’s not… I don’t want to be the one to upset you or out you like that. He can have someone else test you.” Come is cooling on his stomach and he wants to get dressed and go take a shower. Brush his teeth. The sooner he gets Steve out of his mind and off his body the better they’ll be.

“Thanks, I guess?” Steve says, and if his voice is shaky then Bucky does his damndest to ignore it. “Bye, Buck.” He can barely hear it. Bucky’s throat is tight. He can’t even say goodbye. The door closes.

***

Pierce is in Bucky’s office the next morning with Rumlow at his side. It’s going to be a shitty day.

“Can I help you, Sir?”

“I was disappointed to see that Captain Rogers had been pulled off the mission today.”

“I’m sorry, Sir. It couldn’t be avoided. I’ve had trouble getting him in for an evaluation. Think he’s been kept busy. And, you know, everyone is a fan so he’s constantly dragged into exercises and meetings he probably doesn’t need to be in on. Packed schedule. We’ll have it done in a few days.”

Pierce nods. “Yes. I suppose that’s true. Have you at least met him yet?”

Well, shit. “No, Sir.”

Pierce picks at invisible lint on his pants like a douche, and Rumlow looks around Bucky’s office like he’s casing the joint. He kind of hates them both. “I guess I don’t understand the problem. I thought he didn’t have a designation and then I’ve got a few of my men swearing up and down that he’s a dominant. Guess they can feel it. Like an aura or something, I don’t know,” he says, shrugging. “I don’t have one so it’s not something I can pick up on. But, I guess there was one test, right before he was lost on the Valkyrie, that Howard took, that indicated he was submissive. Seems like we need an answer.”

“Yes, sir. I understand the original file was destroyed?”

He unbuttons his suit jacket. “There are always things that go missing over time. Especially with an organization this large. A lot of Howard’s experiments disappeared. Director Carter’s records and files were in that fire that broke out at Camp Leahy. That’s where most of Steve Roger’s information was kept, all before the days of digital. Likely it’s nothing,” he says, as if he really isn’t too interested.

He’s fucking interested. Bucky can read people better than almost anyone, something to do with his dominance and how he processes threats. He goes with his instincts and his instincts are warning him that it might be really bad if Pierce discovered Steve was a submissive. Which is ridiculous. What could he do? “Maybe Howard’s test was so outdated as to be irrelevant. But, if he is submissive, we have to know. I’m not going to risk someone else getting their hands on him and controlling him. Can you imagine that sort of weapon used against us?”

“Sir, he’s already fought in a war for years. He was captured by Schmidt and undoubtedly was around a lot of dominants in very high stress situations. I think it would have been known by now if he was a submissive. It isn’t something that stays hidden. He’s almost in his mid-twenties, excluding time in the ice, and that’s impossibly late for these things to show up. If he’s submissive, it’s minor. If he’s dominant or non-designational the whole thing goes away. And, as someone with a designation I can tell you that controlling a submissive, making a weapon out of them, it’s not only torture and illegal but it doesn’t have a high success rate. Experiments have been outlawed since the 50’s.”

“Well, of course. I know that. He’s a national icon. An incredible man and I just want him to be safe. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being overly cautious. And, last I checked, villains don’t follow the Geneva Convention.”

Bucky nods in agreement as he isn’t quite sure what his other option is. He needs to tread carefully here.“Regardless, it’s best to know for sure. I’ve got him in simulated combat all morning and training with Rumlow’s squad for the afternoon. Medical will go down at 12 and 3 to check him. I’d like you to be there for the afternoon session. Finish the day off and see how it ends. Perhaps you can contribute something. Fury swears you’re more than capable. If he’s submissive, we can find out by the end of the day. I’d think you’d be enthusiastic about getting it resolved.”

“Sir. Coulson is back tomorrow. I’d planned on him running the tests.”

Pierce’s gaze is sharp. “Not you? You’re the head of the department, aren’t you? Is there something else taking your time? Too much responsibility?” Oh good, a threat to his job as well. 

He puts a hand out, trying to wave that argument aside. “If the goal is to determine whether or not he has a designation, specifically a submissive designation, violence isn’t a good test. That’s a very traumatic way of getting an answer with a historically poor success rate. If he’s that valuable, I’m not sure trying to break him is how to proceed.” Rumlow is watching him, cataloguing Bucky’s responses and reactions. 

“I’m not trying to break him,” Pierce says, laughing.

Rumlow gets a smirk on his face that indicates he’d love nothing more than to break Steve Rogers. “This is to save lives. His own and others could be at risk.”

Bucky has one last argument. “I think we should just pull him and I’ll evaluate him today. Building his loyalty to Shield is important. And like you said, his schedule is cleared now that there’s no mission.”

“My understanding is that this would be more likely to evoke a submissive response than the tests we do. I’m afraid medical was quite excited. And, Captain America loves a fight. He’s already agreed. I’m thinking about bringing my niece down to watch.”

That sounds really fucked up, Bucky thinks. He can’t believe Steve has agreed. Well, he can. But, fuck. “I’m sure you know best,” Bucky says. He’s out of arguments. If there are more, he can’t see them, and he feels like Rumlow is just waiting for a reason to fuck him over.

Pierce stands. “Yes, I do. I’m glad we’re getting it resolved. This reflects badly on you. There are already people who want you reassigned,” he says. He puts a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I don’t want that to happen, son. I’ll see you this afternoon.” 

Fuck.

***

Phil is gone for the day. Fury is too. There isn’t anyone there he can go to, to make this stop. Which really just shows that he’s overly invested. Steve _is_ a fucking submissive. This does need to come out. But, it shouldn’t be this way. Steve should confess and stop all of this before something goes wrong. He just so happens to find Steve as he’s coming back from the morning session. Yes, he was lurking. It’s important. He looks a little pale but otherwise fine. There’s blood next to one ear and his lip is split.

Bucky wants to yank him into an office and examine every inch of him. What happened last night was very bad for his impartiality. “I need a quick word before you go to the training gym.”

Steve gives him a look. “How did you know that’s where I’m going?”

Bucky opens an empty conference room and goes inside. Steve comes in, wary. “Pierce isn’t happy that we don’t have your designation down. He’s damned intrigued by the possibility of you being a submissive.The goal is to force a response from you. I think you should confess.”

“Who says I’m submissive?” Steve says, with a bit of challenge.

Bucky drags in a breath and discards the first few things that come to mind, most of which boil down to, don’t give me that crap/are you fucking kidding me? “They’re going to find out. Don’t let it be that way. They want to force it out of you, break you with it, it’s traumatizing and cruel. I’m telling you, you don’t want that. Fuck, I don’t want that for you.”

“I appreciate your concern. Really. But, I’ve never dropped before. No one has broken me and a lot scarier _things_ have tried than a few Shield agents I regularly spar with. I’ve dropped for you and apparently I won’t be seeing you again so I’m thinking maybe it doesn’t need to come out. Isn’t that what you said? I might never drop for anyone else? I had the night to think about it and I think I’ll be fine.”

“You’re going to throw my own words back at me? I am trying so fucking hard to do right by you.” Bucky grits out.

“Do you want me to say thank you? You said we’re done. So, we’re done. I’m going to continue living my life as I have before. You can’t evaluate me because of our connection and no one else can bring me down.” He shrugs. Dismissive. Takes a step towards the door. 

“So, you’ve decided to not tell anyone you’re submissive? See if you can get away with it? We talked about that. How dangerous it is.”

“It was dangerous with you in the picture. It was dangerous if I was going to just go down for a random dominant. I’m not. That is what _you_ said.”

“You do realize this is wrong, don’t you? After all your protestations thatyou’d made a mistake and you didn’t know why you did it, etc. And now you’re right back at it the next day.”

“What am I doing?” Steve asks, eyes furious and hand clenched.

“Presenting yourself as a lie. Even thought it could get people hurt. I can’t let you do that, Steve. _Fuck_.”

Steve crosses his arms, has a definite ‘I’m gonna stand my ground’ vibe radiating from him. “You _will _let me do that. Because, you _can’t_ evaluate me now. You already passed it up the chain. You were the only one who could out me, and if you try to explain why you covered for me, how _you_ lied, how is that going to look? I like my chances.”

Bucky wants to put Steve over his lap and spank the hell out of him. It’s not just manipulative and irresponsible, it’s… _naughty_. Which is such a pathetic word to describe Steve’s behavior.

And yet, it’s apt. Steve Rogers the Naughty Submissive could be etched into his tombstone.

“Their goal is to wear you down,” Bucky says, definitely feelings like he’s the one who’s being worn down. Steve Rogers is going to be the death of him.

“I know. I agreed. I’m not concerned.”

Maybe he’s going about this the wrong way. It shouldn’t be combative. “Steve,” he says, gentling his voice. “You had a hard morning already-”

“Don’t you fucking use that tone of voice with me. I’m nothing to you. You’re nothing to me. That’s the decision. _Move_.”

Fuck’s sake. He is a punk. And, (irrelevantly but distractingly) Bucky’s dick is so fucking hard it’s insane. “Pierce will be there. He wants to continue to wear you down physically and with violence. Rumlow and his guys are there this afternoon and he wants me there, too.”

Steve blinks. Straightens. It’s the first hint of concern Bucky has seen so far. “Get out of it,” Steve orders.

“I can’t.”

Steve looks away from him, to the distance like he’s about to sail off into rough seas. “That’s fine,” he says, totally in control. It’s sexy. Annoying. Misguided. Possibly disastrous. But, his confidence is seriously a turn on.

Bucky puts his hands in his hair. Closes his eyes. Steve isn’t his. They have no claim on each other. That’s the decision they reached twelve hours ago. “Okay,” Bucky says. He opens the door and leaves.

Steve Rogers isn’t his problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all should know that I purposefully didn't end the chapter after this first section of them deciding to have nothing to do with each other because I'm nice like that (I channelled Fury there). Although, I don't know why, as it's not like they're not going to get together or something but it seemed like a bastardy place to stop the story. 
> 
> There will be another post today, which is the fight with Rumlow that Bucky has to go to also. However!! That is not the scene I've tagged for. That's later. I'll warn when that's coming. I think the Rumlow scene in the next chapter is relatively tame but will leave a note at the next chapter for anyone who's worried. 
> 
> Happy Sunday! It's raining here.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This isn't the scene I've tagged for with Rumlow and whipping. The fight is short, not gratuitous and I really think everyone will be okay. A lot happens after that. smut, basically.

Bucky is there at three. He’d wanted to come earlier but it seemed likely his presence wouldn’t be helpful. It might make Steve reckless or even trigger his submissive side. So, he’d stayed away, but it had been hard. Walking into the gym, seeing Steve standing and looking as in control as ever is a fucking relief.

The moment Bucky enters the room, Steve turns to him. Like he knows. It raises the hair on the back of Bucky’s neck. It’s the sort of thing a submissive does when they’re attuned to their dominant. Bucky thinks that if he closed his eyes he might be able to figure out where Steve was in the room, that’s how attuned to Steve he is.

Steve looks away from him, the back of his neck turning pink. Rumlow comes in with a cattle prod of all things. Pierce is there, too. He’s in the corner, watching. His niece is nowhere to be found which is something. five other guys come in to back Rumlow up, all of them with cattle prods. Bucky vaguely knows they run missions with Rumlow but that’s it. He does know that there isn’t a dominant in the bunch, except for Rumlow, which is something. He goes over to Pierce.

“Sir. I think you should send me in with Rumlow and his guys. One on one, Rogers can knock me out. If I’m trying to dominate him, his being distracted is better. More dominants, their will focused on him are more likely to make him submit.” Pierce looks at him, assessing his statement and calls Rumlow over.

Bucky gives him the same pitch. Rumlow nods in agreement and Pierce gives the go ahead. He hopes he’s making the right decision. “Fun times. When’s the last time we were on a mission together?” Rumlow asks, in that hoarse voice.

“Too long. I’ll stay clear of your right hook,” Bucky says, rubbing his jaw absently. Rumlow laughs, enjoying any chance to feel like he’s more dominant than Bucky. Two years ago, Rumlow had sucker punched him. He’d lost a fucking tooth. Bucky goes to get his hands taped up while Rumlow talks to him like they’re best pals now. God, what a dick. He does not look at Steve.

Ultimately, this test was bullshit. It would do more harm than good, if it even worked at all. There were protocols for a reason. Ganging up on a suspected submissive wasn’t ethical or safe.

Despite that, he thought Steve could handle it. His baby could handle anything. _Not_ his baby. Steve. He wasn’t worried about Steve and a few goons with cattle prods. Not really. No, Bucky was a hell of a lot more worried about him being one on one with Steve.

He could make Steve drop. He was just about positive he’d get him down if Steve had to go one on one with him. If Steve had to put all of his attention on Bucky, really concentrate on Bucky coming at him and wanting to get him to submit in a fight, he was pretty sure Steve would give in. Bucky thought this was the best way to avoid that worst case scenario.

Rumlow came over and handed Bucky a cattle prod.

“I don’t want this.”

“You haven’t sparred with him. You _will _want it.” Bucky took the weapon, deciding he could lose it halfway through and saw Steve watching him as he turned around. His gaze was hard, his jaw set. He didn’t say anything or give anything away, but he could tell Steve felt betrayed. He knew Steve was hurt. God, what if his being upset by Bucky was the thing that shoved him over the edge and had him submit?

Everyone wandered into the middle of the mats, chatting, stretching. Everyone except Steve who was off to the side watching them all. A man alone. He thought about Steve’s confession, that he was alone. That he had no one. And Bucky thought it had to be so fucking hard for Steve to keep it together all the time.

“Try not to break any bones,” Pierce said, as if it were funny. Bucky wanted to tell Steve to just get it done. Break whoever and whatever he had to, but protect himself.

Rumlow and two other guys moved forward. Two other guys started circling Steve, approaching from the back. Meanwhile, Bucky was standing there like an idiot with his dick in his hand, the odd man out at an orgy. Steve kicked Rumlow in the chest and did some complicated jump move that took out one of the guys behind him. He threw himself into another guy and Bucky went forward, loosely grasping the cattle prod. He raised it, giving away his intention and Steve growled at him. Which was distracting.

His dick had no sense of timing when it came to Steve Rogers. Steve was about to lunge for him when someone jumped on Steve’s back. Bucky dashed in, tripped Steve who fell backwards onto his attacker. He was pretty sure he heard ribs crack. The guy under Steve screamed. Steve shoved upwards and Rumlow came at him from the side. Bucky lashedout with the cattle prod, wanting Steve to get a chance to take it from him. Someone got Steve from behind, darting in quick and kicking his leg in. Steve went down with Rumlow on top of him. His hand reached for Bucky’s cattle prod and it was too obvious, he couldn’t hand it to him like this. He rapped him on the arm and Steve grunted, batting the weapon away, momentum forcing the prod to hit the ground if Bucky didn’t want to let the thing go.

There was the distinctive sound of a nose breaking and then a painful zap on Bucky’s thigh. Steve had taken a cattle prod from someone else, thank Christ. Bucky let himself go down hard.

Steve got free, Bucky heard more bones crack from someone behind him. He staggered to his feet and Steve kicked him, shoving him into someone else and to the ground. More bones cracking. Steve was standing over him. “Stay down,” he growled.

Bucky put up his hands in surrender. He couldn’t look at Steve. It was hard enough to stay on the fucking mat and have him looming over him. There was blood everywhere, his adrenaline was pumping and he wanted to fuck Steve into the ground. His boy was reckless and naughty. And he’d been _attacked _by strange men. Was he okay? Bucky knew that of course Steve was okay, but no one told the stupid part of Bucky’s brain that he was okay. Physically, Steve was fine but emotionally…. He had to get out of there.

All the guys were limping away. Rumlow came over, looked down at Bucky. “Did you hit your head or something?”

“Yeah,” he said, gruffly, and put a hand up to his head. He rolled over and gagged like he could have a concussion and followed everyone to medical. Everyone but Rogers. Rogers who was talking to Pierce. He even laughed. Pierce opened his jacket, pulled out his phone and showed him a picture of his nephew dressed like Iron Man. Steve called it adorable. His lip was bleeding. His arms were tightly crossed against his chest and Bucky knew how sore he must be today.

A flush went up Steve’s neck as Bucky watched him, feeling the weight of Bucky’s gaze. He needed to drag Steve out of the room and breed him like a fucking animal. He’d get him on his knees and shove his mouth full of cock until he cried with it and came in his pants. And he would. He could make his boy come in his pants if he wanted.

Steve’s head dropped and he kicked the ground, like maybe there was something on the mat or his shoe, then cast a quick, surreptitious glance to Bucky. Under his lashes. Like a flirt. A submissive flirt who knew exactly where his dominant was.

Did he know that he was needed? That Bucky was hard and angry and sick with worry for him? He should be grateful he didn’t have to see Steve again today. He had no idea what he’d do, which emotion would leap to the forefront.

Bucky turned and left. He went to medical and rattled off the symptoms of a concussion. They looked into his eyes and commented on his pupils. Similar to signs of a concussion they said. It wasn’t. It was a sign that his dominance was about to fucking explode. It wasn’t his fault if the doctor was non-designational and couldn’t tell.

He wanted to go to Pierce and demand that it be done. Steve wasn’t submissive and should be left alone. If that’s what Steve wanted and he could pull it off… fine. His shoulders hunched in and he paused in the hallway, breathed in and out. God, his poor Stevie. _His._

No, Steve wasn’t his. He didn’t know anything about Steve. His brain and dick were making up facts and scenarios that were as likely to be utter shit as true. It was Compatability. It wasn’t real. It just felt real.

Bucky went back to his office. He was going to get his jacket and leave. He needed booze. Steve was waiting for him. He was looking out Bucky’s window, back broad, hands clasped behind him like he was totally at rest and unconcerned with anything.

“Get out,” Bucky ordered, low and deadly. His dick was already getting hard.

“How dare you join in with that,” Steve said, furious. He looked like he wanted to murder Bucky.

“I won’t do this with you now. Get out or I’ll have you bent over this desk and I don’t give a fuck who hears it. I’m _done_,” he snarled.

“Big words considering I just gave you and five other guys a beat down.”

“Fuck off. You didn’t give me a concussion, I threw it. You should be fucking thanking me.”

“You want a rematch? Think you can take Captain America?” Steve asked, chin jerking up defiantly.

Bucky laughed, dark and keyed up. “I don’t. I _can’t_ beat Captain America on my best fucking day. Not even close. Hell, I don’t even _want_ to. I like you leading and being the biggest baddest hero out there. Do whatever you want, stand tall and proud, and when you come home I’ll have you on your fucking knees. What do I want Captain America for when I can have Steve Rogers under me and begging in thirty seconds? Now, get out or strip.”

“No,” Steve says, dominant as fuck. If he hadn’t been Bucky’s boy last night, moaning and open and calling him daddy, he’d be pretty sure the man in front of him was a dominant. Steve widens his stance, hands on his belt, loose and ready for a fight. God, he’s beautiful. Steve takes another step closer. He’s meeting Bucky’s gaze.

“Get your tits out then,” Bucky says, and he shuts the door, locks it. “Are you bruised, sweetheart?”

Steve looks startled.

“I told you. Bent over my desk. I’m not kidding. I won’t be sweet. You won’t get a nice daddy today, boy.” He can’t help but leer at Steve’s chest. He’s going to make him release. It’s going to be agony. 

Steve’s eyes widen like Bucky has slapped him. He doesn’t move. God, Bucky is hard. He adjusts himself, smoothes the material, lets Steve be reminded of what he’ll be dealing with. He gets close and Steve backs up a step. Then stops himself. His pulse is jumping and his cheeks are getting pink.

“Get down on your knees,” he says, low and commanding.

“No,” Steve says, softer than before. His hands open and close.

Bucky shifts his stance, reaches out with a hand to grab Steve behind the neck and Steve stops him with both hands, nostrils flaring as he holds on. Is that where his baby was? Needing two hands to stop a casual touch from his daddy? _Good_. Steve’s pupils are blown wide, he’s visibly hard and the grip on Bucky’s arm is half to defend himself and half to touch him. 

But, Bucky’s other hand is now on Steve’s cock, slipped in when Steve was distracted. He pets the bulge there. “Spread your legs for daddy.”

“Don’t say that word,” Steve says, trembling.

“Last chance, sweetheart. I’ll let you walk out of here if you go right now.”

The hands on his arm flex but don’t let him go. “I can hold my own,” Steve says. His dick twitches in Bucky’s soft grip. Bucky takes a step closer, his hand slides back, two fingers digging between Steve’s clothed ass cheeks. Steve whimpers and goes on his tip toes. Steve’s eyes close and then open, hazy and half lidded.

Bucky leans closer, voice soft, all of his effort directed at holding back his dominance. All he has to do is relax, let go, let himself be and Steve would be swept away. Steve has no idea what he’s messing with. How nice Bucky has been tohim. The epitome of restraint.

“You have made me so fucking hard. I want to come on your face and then your ass. It’s all I’ve been thinking about. I _need_ your ass, Steve. God, you have no idea how much I need to be inside you, sweetheart. Let me,” he whispers and walks him to the wall, crowds into him, cock hard against Steve’s. “Perfect boy. Let me. I need you.”

“Um, yeah, okay,” he rasps, and tries to lean in and kiss Bucky. He lets Steve kiss him, just the gentlest kisses, hands holding him back while Steve tries to get closer. There’s no strength behind any of it. It doesn’t take effort to keep Steve against the wall or from kissing him.

Steve’s gone weak and sweet, wanting and mouth open, managing to swipe his tongue against Bucky’s bottom lip. “When? Bucky.”

He grabs Steve by the shirt, pulls him along with him. Steve is half-stumbling, the front of his costume soaked as he leaks, surrendering to Bucky. “Look how wet you are, sweetheart.” Steve blushes, doesn’t look. “Is that for me?”

“Is it… it’s gross,” he says, hand cupping the front of his pants in shame.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion. Feel how hard you make me,” he whispers, and Steve touches him with both hands, trying to curl closer and kiss Bucky’s neck. He knows that’s Steve’s baseline. He’s so affectionate. Constantly ducking close and wanting to kiss and be kissed. He’s needy and sweet.

“There you are. The most perfect boy. Come on, baby. Daddy’s so hard. Can I use you? Can I?”

“Yes, sir.” He whispers.

“Uh uh. No. What do you say?”

Steve’s eyes close and he rubs at his pecs. “Please not that. Not… not like this.”

“Like what, baby?”

“When you’re making a point.” Tears fill his eyes. He blinks and they spill over. He’s so gorgeous.

“What point am I making?”

Steve shakes his head, miserable. “That you can do this to me whether I want it or not.”

Bucky drops his hands, takes a step back. Steve reaches for him. “No. You don’t get to have it that way, Steve. I told you to leave. You wanted to stay. I told you what you’d get from me. Don’t say you don’t want it. If you don’t want it, you can leave, baby.” He puts his hands up and backs up even further.

Steve swallows hard. “I can’t. I…I need you.”

“Tell me you want it then.”

Steve scrubs his hands over his face, sniffs again. His hand goes back to his chest, rubbing unconsciously at his gland like he just can’t stop.

“You don’t need to make it so difficult, sweetheart. You’re aching and soaked for me. We both know you want it. We both need it.”

“Can you do what you did yesterday? Roll me or whatever it was.”

Interesting. “What did I do?”

“I want to not think. Just take me. Like yesterday.”

“The crash and the drop made it easy for you to let go.”

“Yeah. And I don’t have that now. I need you and I’m not going anywhere,” he says, awkwardly. “But, you don’t feel like you did yesterday. You’re all… bottled up or something.”

It’s interesting that he’s noticed. Can feel a difference. “You’re right. I’m on a pretty tight leash here, sweetheart.”

“Why? I don’t want that.”

Yeah, he does. Steve doesn’t know it, but he does. “You’re reckless,” Bucky says, gently.

Steve looks at him like he’s an idiot. Yes, he does know Steve is dangerously reckless. That’s it’s a cornerstone of his personality. “We can’t both behave that way, sweetheart. The more reckless you are, the more solid I need to be.”

Which, for some reason Bucky can’t quite work out, makes Steve cry. Bucky goes to him, wanting to both make him feel better but also watch the tears come down. He cups Steve’s face in his hands. “I love those fucking tears. You can always cry for daddy.”

Steve swallows. His hands go to Bucky’s pants, undoing them clumsily. He kisses Steve then, long and leisurely. Steve tenses, muscles ready to protect himself while the kiss goes on. He’s waiting for Bucky to hurt him. To devour him, bite him, force him to release and come. He’s braced against the impending onslaught and it isn’t coming.

Minutes tick by, Bucky kissing him and touching him gently, enjoying his boy and the beauty of him, how strong he is. He doesn’t know Steve’s body yet, hasn’t had a chance to just touch him everywhere and see how all of him connects up.

Steve makes a sound of frustration. “Fuck, just do it already,” he gasps, into Bucky’s mouth. “Take over,” he says, grinding his cock into Bucky’s. “Hurt me. I need you.”

“Poor baby. Today was hard.”

Steve nods against his lips. “Yes…sir.” Steve whispers. He loves how difficult Steve finds it to call him daddy. How much he wants to but can’t settle into it.

His fingers clench on Steve’s ass, digging bruises into his cheeks and Steve cries out, shuddering in pleasure at finally getting what he wants. “Oh…fuck. Oh, no, shit.” Steve gasps.

Steve shoves back from him, looking down at his crotch, horrified. His face goes red. The wet spot is spreading as Steve stands there. He tries to pull Bucky back to him, to stop him from seeing his release soak his uniform.

“What a good boy you are,” Bucky says, meaning it. His hand shakes as he keeps it gentle, smoothing the material over Steve’s cock, so the wetness spreads.

“Stop looking at it,” he whispers. “Daddy.”

Bucky shushes him and gets close again. Somehow, Steve has made himself almost six inches shorter, shoulders hunched in, head tilted down, knees too soft and lightly bent.

“I like the mess you made,” he says, almost a growl. He feels himself slip, just a little, wants to tear Steve’s clothes off of him and fuck him so hard he screams.

Steve looks up at him, blinking in surprise. “That’s what I want….Daddy.”

Bucky hauls Steve forward by his ass, too hard into his thigh so it fucking hurts as Steve’s dick pressesinto him.Steve buries his face into Bucky’s neck and exhales, slides his hands around Bucky’s ribs and clutches at his shoulders from behind.

“Oh fuck, please. _Please_,” Steve begs, needy and a little lost.

Bucky moves him away, just enough so he can undo Steve’s pants. He shoves a hand inside and Steve is hot and wet, slippery and half-hard. He doesn’t know if the pain made him soften or if he’s sliding so hard into submission that his body isn’t focused on his own pleasure but Bucky’s.

Bucky pulls his hand out, lifts his shirt and swipes it across his own stomach. “You want to mark daddy? Make sure everyone knows?”

“Yes, sir,” he says, watching Bucky’s stomach even after he’s let his shirt drop back down. He tugs Steve to the desk, shoves Steve’s pants down his thighs, turns him and eases his big body down over the wooden surface. He’s got a hand on Steve’s chest and the other on his back, bending him over slow and intentionally awkward.

This is happening now, he’s silently telling Steve. Bucky is making it happen and his baby needs to understand that. Steve goes to put his hands on the desk.

“No. I’ll get you where I want you. Hands holding your cheeks.”

Steve draws in a shaky breath. “Yes, daddy.”

Bucky gets him down, turns Steve’s head gently and presses his cheek to the desktop. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Is this mine?” he asks, and he slips dry fingers down to Steve’s hole, circling the rim, tapping it gently.

Steve’s eyes are squeezed closed, lashes clumping together with more tears. “Do you… do you want it?”

“You know I do. Of course I do,” he says, and he moves in behind Steve, opens his own pants and jerks himself off over Steve’s ass while Steve lies there.

He can’t fuck him. He can’t come in Steve’s mouth. Well, he could. But, that’s just taking the easy way out and Steve needs to get what he deserves first. Steve needs to understand who’s in charge of this and what his place is. He needs to not be so damned naughty.

Steve thinks his tears and pleading can get him out of his shitty behavior, that he can apologize with a sweet blowjob and fix everything and he’s wrong.

But, Bucky’s got to do something because his nerves are fraying and he’s going to stick to the plan he’s created if it fucking kills him. He looks at Steve’s tight entrance, doesn’t even trust himself to touch it he wants it so bad.

He lets himself come, not even trying to hold back, aims for just above Steve’s hole so it will run down, messy and unpleasant.

Steve’s breath hitches as come hits him. His eyes are squeezed tight, finger tips white as they press into the desk. “You look like a slut, baby. Except that your hole is tight as a virgin. Touch the mess I gave you, baby.”

Steve licks his lips. He’s gone a little pale. “Daddy. I need to clean up. Please, let me clean up.”

Bucky plants his hand hard in the middle of Steve’s back. Steve will be the death of him.

“No. Say thank you.”

Heavy breathing as Steve tries to come to terms with it. “Thank you,” he finally says.

“Touch your hole. Just a little. I want that mess to stay there. But you need to feel it and know what daddy’s come feels like, how filthy I just made you.”

His hand goes back, blindly reaching, settling gently between his cheeks, not touching the rim. The tips of three fingers are in it, resting lightly. Bucky puts his hand against the fingers, pressing them so they slide to Steve’s hole. His middle finger bumps the glossy entrance and it clenches, going even tighter and relaxes.

Steve has gone pliant, weight heavy into the desk now, eyes open and unfocused. Bucky reaches under Steve, finds him soft and steadily dripping. He’s on the edge of sinking into a good drop and while Bucky wants to let Steve have it, they aren’t done yet.

He pulls up Steve’s underwear and rubs his hand roughly against Steve’s balls and taint, the soaked fabric cold and wet, getting worse. Tension returns to Steve. He blinks, his head raises as he looks back at Bucky uncertainly.

He feels the change as Steve starts to get hard from the rubbing and the mess. The little shift of his feet and the slight arch to his back. “Daddy.”

“I’ll stop when you’re hard.”

“I hate it. It’s gross.”

“Sure. But, it’s making you hard,” he says, uncaring that Steve is conflicted. This is what Bucky wants so Steve needs to do it. That’s where they are now.

“Shit,” Steve whispers and a moment passes before he lets out a little moan and presses back into the touch.

“Good boy. Up now.” He takes his hand away, rubs it on his pants while Steve presses back up off the desk. He looks confused. There are tear tracks on his face as he turns to face Bucky.

“Are you ready to be my good boy?”

His lower lip trembles. He ducks his head. “Daddy,” he says, but the word is a little broken and very vulnerable and Bucky has to stop himself from just throwing caution to the wind and mating him so very roughly.

Bucky sighs, touching Steve’s face because he’s so fucking gorgeous and a little bit wrecked. “Listen, sweetheart. I know what you need. I know what _I _need from you. After all that happened today, baby, it was hard for me, too. Can you be strong enough to take what I give you?” he asks, fingers finding the zip for Steve’s tac suit, pulling it down and spreading it open, transfixed by the reveal of his pale skin. “Look at you,” he says, and he pets at Steve’s pecs gently. The only hint of marks are on the nipples themselves, perhaps a little dark, a slight tinge of bruised purple that can barely be seen. He kisses each one gently. “Did they hurt?”

“They got better pretty quickly,” Steve says, sounding a lot more like himself. He can’t figure out if Steve laments how quickly they stopped hurting or if he’s trying to put on a brave front.

“Are you going to play with them?”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do, sweetheart. Until you release, Steve.”

Steve blinks, presses his face into Bucky’s neck. “They’re still a little swollen. Need you to be nice to them,” he whispers, petting gently at Bucky’s chest, a demonstration of what he wants. How soft he wants his daddy to be. 

“We’re not doing nice right now, Steve. Not after what happened today. I have to give you what you need. What we both need.”

Steve’s hand stills. He swallows. “I need you in my mouth, daddy. Like yesterday.”

“What about it do you need?” Bucky asks, gently.

“Soft and… you said nice things to me.” He fiddles with the zip on Bucky’s tac-suit, staring at his chest, unable to meet Bucky’s gaze. Twin spots of color rise high on his cheeks. “Need you in me, daddy.”

“If I fuck you then you’ll drop,” Bucky says, flatly.

“I can do that,” Steve offers.

“No, Steve. Not here and like this. Look at me,” he orders, and he waits until Steve does. “You can feel how hard I am. You know I’ll give you what you need, don’t you? I trust that you’ll give me what I need. Even though it’s new, I feel it. Don’t you?” He waits.

Steve chews his lower lip for a moment. “I do. I feel it,” he says, slowly. “The trust….And that you’ll give me what I need. But, what if I don’t like it?” he asks, wanting Bucky to say he’ll stop or not do it. He kisses Bucky’s neck like he’s going to persuade him.

“That feels good, sweetheart.”

“Can I get down on my knees now, daddy?”

What a cheeky fucking minx. “Not yet. We’re still talking. Sometimes we don’t like things that are good for us. But, there’s only one question, Steve. Always. Do you trust me? Trust me as your daddy. Not as a friend or co-worker or even a dominant. You either trust me as your daddy or you don’t.”

He appreciates that Steve takes a minute to thin about it. “I do. But, you don’t always know what I need. I know what I need, too. You have to trust me, too. If I don’t… If I don’t agree then we have to talk about it.”

“What wouldn’t we agree on?” he asks, kissing Steve gently, letting his hand slip inside his open tac suit so he can cup Steve’s breast.

“Daddy,” he says, eyes closing. He presses into Bucky’s touch. “Punishing me. If we don’t see a situation the same way.” Bucky has to bite his lip so he doesn’t laugh. Steve is truly the naughtiest boy in the entire world. Bucky’s cock is insistently hard because of it.

He takes Steve’s hand and puts it on his cock. “We need to take care of that, don’t we?”

“Because you need it?” he asks, and kisses Bucky’s jaw.

“That’s right, sweetheart. Can you ask me to give you what you need, too? Please?” he murmurs, very carefully kissing close to his hard, swollen, claiming glands.

Steve shudders in his arms. “Please give me what I need, daddy.”

“What you earned?” he whispers, thumb rubbing over Steve’s nipple and around it so Steve shivers.

“Yes, sir.”

“You promise to take it? All of it, for me?” he asks, grinding his cock into Steve’s hip. He grabs Steve’s ass, hauling him close.

A small sound comes from Steve. He’s ragingly hard, too. “Yes, daddy. All of it.”

“All of what you _earned_ like a good boy?”

A hesitation. As if he’s aware the trap is closing in. Bucky reaches for the button of his own pants, undoes it and pulls the zipper down. Steve creates a bit of space between them so he can see, is already going to the ground to get his mouth on Bucky. He waits. Obedient as Bucky pulls his cock out. Steve leans forward to take it. He uses his free hand to take Steve’s jaw and tilt it up. “Tell me, good boy. Everything you earned?”

“I’ll take everything I earned, daddy,” he says, and turns his head, kisses Bucky’s palm.

“Because you trust daddy?”

He looks up, painfully sincere. “Yes, daddy. I do.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. Up. Come on,” he orders. Steve gets up, a little confused. Bucky shoves Steve’s pants down again and turns him to the desk. “Over, Steve.”

He can feel Steve’s heartbeat pick up. “Bucky?” Steve sounds a lot more like himself.

“You’ll get my cock, gentle and for as long as you want when your spanking is over.”

Steve stands up straight, looks Bucky in the eyes, suddenly all dominant and Captain America again. “You are not spanking me,” Steve says, firmly, trying to move away.

Bucky slaps his ass hard, the sound cracking throughout the room. His other hand is on Steve’s neck, at the back and he presses him down to the desk. It takes a fair amount of pressure before Steve relents. He doesn’t go happily. Which is fine. So long as he goes. “You promised, baby. You said you’d take it. What you earned. You’ve been fucking naughty and you know it. You’re _going_ to let me spank you. And I’m going to spank you until you cry or until my hand gives out, and then you can have my cock and I’ll be sweet to you.”

“You know that’s not what I was agreeing to. This isn’t what I want…. Let me up.”

“No.”

A half-hearted lift upwards and Bucky smacks him again. Steve lurches forward and then turns to look at Bucky. He’s wide eyed and stunned. “You scared the fuck out of me, Stevie. You didn’t listen to me. You dismissed my concerns and let anger cloud your judgment. You were being a punk,” he says, rubbing Steve’s cheeks roughly. He lets his fingers slip inwards, roughly pulling his cheeks open every few passes. “The very next day you throw out more manipulations, are willing to lie. You were fucking awful this morning. I won’t let that go.”

“What about what you did?” Steve demands. He buries his face in his arms, shoulders raising up high like he’s about to be beaten. A wet sound comes out of him. “How could you do that to me? Be with all of them? Trying to take me down.” Steve whispers and his shoulders shake in grief.

Right. Well, shit. “Oh, sweetheart. Pierce made me. It was a direct order. He would have fired me if I didn’t participate. I couldn’t think of anything worse then coming in after Rumlow and those guys and having you go against me one on one. You’re a good boy, Steve. You wouldn’t have hurt me. You’d have submitted for me so fast, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes, sir.” Steve murmurs, another sob hitching out of him.

“Sweetheart, I see you. I know you would have tried, would have struggled, but the moment would come and you wouldn’t be able to hurt me. Not you. It isn’t who you are. Not for me. There wasn’t any other way, I swear.”

He rubs a hand over Steve’s back for a few minutes.

“I don’t want you to spank me,” Steve finally says.

Bucky can’t help but laugh. Steve glares at him. “Stop being a manipulative punk and it won’t be an issue.”

“I won’t do it again. I promise.”

Bucky grunts. “I’m not taking that promise. I’ve met you, sweetheart. You will do it again. Probably tomorrow. Let’s get you fixed up so we can move on. You don’t get my cock in your mouth until it’s done.”

He feels Steve thinking. Like he’s running the odds. “If you do this I won’t….I won’t give you my mouth,” he says. Steve holds his breath.

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that and save you the groveling apology. It’s like a fish refusing water. God, you’re a handful.” He spanks Steve gently then, a swat to the center of his right cheek. Steve gasps loudly, legs shuffling apart. The next hit comes and his hips move forward like he’s got to get away from it. His shoulders are all tense, back arched up unhappily.

“Sweetheart. Let go now. Trust me. I’ll put you back together.”

“Jesus. I can’t do this, Bucky. I swear, I’m just going to cry everywhere and it doesn’t even hurt.”

“Poor boy. It will hurt, Steve. Not a lot. Not like a punch or a cattle prod,” he says, and Steve reaches back for him, grabbing his hand hard. He drapes himself over Steve, pressing close and kissing his cheek. “I know. That was horrible. I want to kill them for touching you.”

“I hurt you,” Steve says.

“All I wanted was for you to be safe and to get out of there as fast as possible. I’m proud of you. Don’t apologize for protecting yourself. I mean it. You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine. Okay?”

“Yes, sir.” He has no idea if Steve means it. If Steve is actually going to let it go or torture himself with it for all of eternity. Fuck. Should he not spank him now? Is Steve going to get it all muddled up and think he’s being punished for protecting himself?

“Steve. I want you to suck my cock,” he says, carefully. “It makes us both feel better. You on your knees all sweet and soft for me is the best thing in the entire world.”

“I think so, too.” he says, sweet and trying to nuzzle into Bucky’s shoulder.

“And I want you to take me in your mouth knowing you make me happy. You only get daddy’s cock for good things. It’s always a reward.”

“Yes, sir.”

He isn’t even sure how he’s going to get out of this conversation or the point he’s trying to make but Steve is receptive under him, hanging on every word, needing to hear whatever it is he’s trying to say. “You can cry and get it all out and when I let you up, when I give you my cock it’s because that’s what you’ve earned.”

A good ten seconds pass. “I just don’t want to cry, daddy.”

“Baby, you need it. It’s happening because you need it. Give me a chance to protect you and be strong for you. You can let yourself go and cry. I’ll be there on the other side and I’ll take care of you.”

“How many is it?”

“I’m not sure. We’ll have to see. I think we’ll know when it’s enough and we should move on. And that’s something we get to find out together, baby.” Bucky waits while Steve thinks about it. Steve presses back, wanting to get up off the desk. Bucky gets off of him, giving him space. Steve lifts up all the way, blinks and then presses his lips to Bucky’s. It’s chaste. Feels like a promise. Steve pulls back and goes back down, settling himself, cheeks going pink. Giving permission.

“Beautiful, Steve. You are so fucking perfect,” he says, and it’s like a growl and a revelation. “You’re mine, baby. I don’t know how I’ll let you go,” he says, and spanks him. Steve is looking at him as best he can, cheek back against the desk. He tries to stay in Steve’s sightline.

“Thank you, daddy. Do you want me to count?”

“No, just lay there, sweetheart. If you cry and drift off, that’s okay, too.” He hits him a solid twenty times before Steve keeps his eyes closed and doesn’t try to watch him. The tears come almost immediately after. He buries his face in his arms, keeps his ass up and Bucky spanks him until his hand goes numb. He keeps a hand on Steve’s back as he goes to the other side, wanting him to know he’s still there. He starts up again and Steve sobs loudly.

Bucky makes a soothing sound and scratches over his sore cheeks. Pink welts come to the surface and his ass gets hot and bright. Tender. “You gonna feel me later? Sit down and remember what we did here?”

“Yes, sir.” Steve slurs, eventually.

“Are you about to drop, Steve?”

“Umm… I don’t know.”

Bucky rests his hand on Steve’s ass and looks between his legs. Steve’s cock is fairly soft but wet. He’s dripped all over and made a mess in his bunched clothing. He pulls Steve up off the desk, face covered in tears and worse. Steve wipes himself up while Bucky goes to the couch and sits down, legs spread, hand on his aching shaft.

“Leave them down,” he orders, when Steve tries to pull up his pants. Steve comes over, shuffling awkwardly and drops down to the ground. He presses his face into Bucky’s groin and takes his hard cock in his mouth, gets comfortable and sucks gently. Bucky runs a hand through Steve’s hair, reminded once again of how Steve treats his cock like a pacifier. Something calming and what he needs to be soothed. Bucky gets his fingers under his shaft, at the base and massages his own glands until he releases in Steve’s mouth, cock staying hard.

Steve swallows and swallows, eyes opening quickly and then closing again. Bucky lets his head rest against the back of the couch, drifts for a while until the urge to come is insistent. “Here you go, baby. Get your reward now,” he says, and watches as Steve rouses himself enough to get to work bobbing up and down on Bucky’s cock until he comes in Steve’s mouth. Steve doesn’t take him deep, barely has the head in his mouth as he swallows Bucky’s come. He can tell Steve isn’t used to this, that there’s a timing issue for swallowing he’s still working out.

But, he got it all and he looks so content with himself when he’s done that Bucky can’t help but be charmed and pleased with him. “Tits in my hands,” he says, gruffly. Steve nods, brows furrowed, hands on Bucky’s thighs as Bucky plays with his chest, roughly working his glands and nipples until Steve is panting and squirming. “Jerk yourself off. You’ll come and release.”

Steve touches himself without hesitation, jerking himself hard and fast. He’s not completely hard but he comes anyway, soaking his pants and all over his own hand. He makes Steve rest in it for a little, can tell when it makes him feel very small and submissive, tears sliding down his face. “I can’t wear them home, daddy.”

“I know. That would be too much. I’ll get you some from a Designation Room while you clean up in a minute.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Good boy. Can I have those tears? Come sit on my lap and let daddy kiss it better,” he offers and Steve gets up into his lap, arms around Bucky’s neck. Bucky kisses the tears away, holds Steve close while they both doze for a little and then finally sends him home.

It’s been a long fucking day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Rumlow Chapter. I'll summarize at the end so y'all can make your own decisions if you're concerned. I ended the scene as soon after as I could so those who skip the chapter don't miss out on much.

Bucky stops by Phil’s office in the morning. They both have a meeting at 11 where they’ll debrief over previous missions from the last week and figure out what’s ahead, but he’s got to talk to Phil about Steve and it needs to be done as soon as possible. He isn’t sure if it’s just his connection to Steve that’s making him so anxious about Steve’s designation and Shield’s plans for him or if there is legitimate cause for concern. He wants to put a stamp on Steve’s file and get it away from him as soon as possible.

And then he’s going to go to medical and see if he needs to start a treatment so they can get their bond to be more manageable. Yesterday shouldn’t have happened. They both know that. And it can’t happen again.

If they’re not careful, it will happen again. And each time they do anything the noose gets tighter. He deserves a fucking medal for not having anal sex with Steve last night. No one will give him a medal for that. “Hey, Welcome back,” Bucky says, leaning on the door.

“Thanks. What did I miss? And what’s the deal with Rogers?” Phil gives him a distracted smile, a few stacks of folders on his desk. Phil takes a sip of his coffee. Phil winces. Probably cold. Phil never finishes a cup of coffee, getting distracted halfway through.His heart rips out of his chest and plummets to his stomach. “What do you mean?” he asks, terrified Phil knows.

Phil doesn’t even look at him. He’s shuffling through papers looking for something. Which means this isn’t a big deal. His relationship with Steve would be a big deal and Phil would be staring him down, potentially with a shot gun in hand like a father protecting his submissive’s virtue.

“I come in this morning and I’ve got an email from Pierce, a _phone_ message from Pierce and Rumlow booked the Designation Assessment Room to do an eval on Rogers. I thought you were doing the eval?” He pulls out a piece of paper, has a vaguely triumphant look on his face, and reads it for a second before holding it up for Barnes to see. “I was going to get an aquarium on the plane. It’s not happening. No one could find the order form. I hope they don’t give me a hard time cancelling.”

Phil plunks down into his chair, stares at Bucky, waiting patiently. As he always does. He’s good at poker. Phil’s eyes narrow. “What then hell is going on?”

“What did Pierce say?”

“He had some questions about how we assess submissives. The odds of a submissive revealing their designation during a combat situation, the likelihood of a submissive dropping at the wrong time. Not sure why he cares now when he didn’t before.” He shrugs. “Well, obviously, he cares because it’s a big deal if Steve is a submissive. But, come on. He’s not submissive. I told him that.”

“What did he say?”

“He said he wanted to be sure and he was going to have Rumlow do an evaluation this morning. Why…aren’t you doing it?” Phil asks, slowly.

_Fucking Pierce. Fucking Rumlow_. “Scheduling,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “When is the test happening?”

“Uh, what time is it? 8:30. Right. The test is at…8:30,” he says, looking at his calendar.

“What’s he doing?” he asks, wanting to rush out of the room. Now? It was happening now? Jesus Christ.

Phil shrugs. Like it isn’t a big deal. “One on one. Posturing. Scenarios, maybe a few holds. It didn’t seem like it was going to be out of the ordinary.”

Bucky stands up. “Don’t you think we should be there to make sure it goes okay?”

Phil blinks at him. “I don’t…do we? I’ve been out for a week and I’m swamped. Plus. we have the meeting at 11. He’s a big boy. And he’s not a submissive.”

Bucky tries not to grind his teeth as his frustration and fear mounts. “He’s _your _special project. Rogers doesn’t know what the hell they’re going to do and it’s Rumlow,” he says, because they’ve had enough rumors of submissives having problems with Rumlow that they’re both leery of him. But, it’s not anything they’ve been able to pin down. He’s just…off.

“If anyone can handle him, it’s Steve. I think he’ll be fine.” 

“Phil,” he says, seriously enough that Phil looks at him. “I’m going to watch that evaluation and I am asking you, as a _friend_, to go with me and keep an eye on Rogers. I want it by the book and I don’t want to be the one to do all the bitching if they start fucking around.”

“Then we should go,” Phil says, grabbing his suit jacket and putting it on as they leave his office. He doesn’t say anything as they go to the elevator. He opens his mouth once and closes it again. “So, you _didn’t_ evaluate him while I was gone?” Phil asks, when the doors close.

“Rumlow and Pierce did some bullshit thing yesterday.”

Phil looks at him with wide eyes. “Oh my god. What the hell happened?”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asks, and hopes to god he isn’t blushing.

“That’s not what I asked you. That’s the kind of answer you give when you’re trying not to lie to someone outright.”

Huh. He’d thought it was pretty good. “No, I didn’t formally evaluate him.” 

The elevator doors open. Phil snorts. “That’s kind of the same thing. You met him, didn’t you?”

“Don’t fucking Columbo me. Let’s just go,” he growls.

Fury is there and he looks pissed. Rumlow is next to him and he’s practically vibrating with dominance and excitement. “Nick,” Phil says. Bucky nods and murmurs something.

“What are you doing here?” Phil asks.

“Hell if I know. Pierce said I should be here. Like I don’t have anything else to do. But, he’s got a meeting with the Security Council so here I am. He wants a full report.” The Room they’re in is like a police interrogation room. They’re basically behind the one way glass watching and waiting for something to happen. Rogers isn’t in there yet and neither is Rumlow. There’s an entrance from the other side of the room, attached to the gym and also through the viewing room where they are now.

Bucky can smell Rumlow before he sees him. The smell of artificial pheromones is overwhelming. And, as he gets closer, he can smell natural ones too. Rumlow is sweating. Undoubtedly, he went to the gym before this. No deodorant and the room is ripe the moment he walks in. Bucky has to breathe through his mouth. Phil even gags. Thank god there’s another dominant here to pick up on the irregularities.

Phil looks to Fury. “What the hell is going on?”

“You tell me. I just smell sweaty agent. You two look like you’re going to kill him.”

“If he’s dominant, it doesn’t matter,” Rumlow argues. “If he’s neutral, it doesn’t matter. If he’s submissive then we want to know.”

“It’s acidic in the back of my throat,” Bucky says. “Is it a stimulant, too? We don’t use stimulants in our evaluations. It’s not necessary and submissives have a tendency to react badly to them. You’d need clearance for that. I didn’t give it.” 

Rumlow looks so fucking pleased with himself. “Don’t take it the wrong way but this is all approved by Pierce, and he outranks you.” Punching Rumlow wouldn’t actually stop this from happening, but Bucky’s seriously contemplating it anyway. He tries to lock the emotional and physical responses down. The last thing this needs is him making irrational decisions because he’s all fucked up over Steve. He has to protect him. He’s the only one who can right now. 

“Steve has that one blood sample with designational markers and a lost file where there was speculation and it’s decades old. He’s had a hell of a lot of blood tests since then that came up with nothing and he had that test yesterday. I don’t know why he’s even putting up with it. Do you want him to leave Shield?” Bucky says, desperate to keep Steve away from the stimulants. Can he get Rumlow to wash it all off before the test?

“He’s not going to leave Shield over it. It’s just an evaluation. And, he’s declined the blood work as of yesterday. Which is weird. Who declines?”

“Someone who’s been a medical guinea pig and doesn’t want any irrelevant invasive procedures done,” Bucky argues.

Rumlow snorts. “A blood test isn’t invasive. Everyone knows he falsified records to get into the military. We just need a definitive answer.” 

Fury nods. “That is true. And I’ve got orders here from higher ups. They’re not happy he’s dodged the last three attempts to get his test done. Whatever yesterday was, it wasn’t by the book and apparently it doesn’t count. A lot is at stake. If Captain America is a submissive we need to know.”

Phil exchanges a look with Fury. Rumlow heads towards Bucky, bumps his shoulder hard on the way to the Assessment Room. “The results won’t be inconclusive this time,” Rumlow says.

Phil’s nostrils flare. “That’s ejaculate, too.”Phil shudders in revulsion.

The idea of that shit stain going in there, covered in come and stimulants to try and bring down his boy makes him absolutely insane. Phil bumps him and frowns. “You’re growling,” he mouths. Bucky shakes his head and takes a deep breath.

Sitwell strolls in. “What’s the plan?”

Fury gives Bucky everyone a glare and shakes his head. “There’s a lot of people in this room.”

“He’s my agent, he requested I be here,” Phil says. Thank fuck for Phil. He owes him.

Fury snorts. “He requested you so he wouldn’t get bossed around. He knows you’ll give in to him.” Fury rubs his chin. “Does that make him more or less likely to be a submissive?”

No one answers. Sometimes it’s complicated. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar or whatever.

Steve enters the room from the gym side. Steve looks at the mirror, his jaw ticks, and he looks away. He slowly meanders to the other side of the room. Rumlow goes in a few minutes later, a good twenty feet between them. He’s now shirtless. His pants are tight. It’s clear he’s hard and they’re leather. The fucker changed pants.

Sure, it’s a cliche, but leather is fucking appealing. Every dominant and submissive has a leather fetish. He and Phil both grunt at the same time. Steve’s chin jerks up a little, his lips quirk into a smile like this is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen. Unaffected. Beautifully unaffected. Rumlow gets close. Steve blinks and his nostrils flare.

“We don’t shower before meetings, anymore?” Steve asks. It’s a bland enough comment that it doesn’t give anything away. He could be commenting solely about the sweat and not the pheromones.

“Part of the test, Rogers.”

“What is the test and how long is it?”

“Worried?” Rumlow taunts.

“No. But sitting around here with your ripe ass while you wave your junk in my face, isn’t my idea of a good time,” he says, and he shoves Rumlow away just as Rumlow moves a step closer. It’s pure dominant and sexy as fuck. Rumlow stumbles. Steve’s incredible.

“Shirt off, Captain,” Rumlow demands.

Steve hesitates. “Why?”

Rumlow gestures to the wall alongside the window, at something they can’t see. He walks over, wheels out a Saint Andrew’s Cross and sets the brakes on it. “I’ll shred your shirt if you want. It’s up to you.”

Steve has a gray t-shirt on, track-suit pants and tennis shoes. Like he’s going to the gym after this. Steve takes off his shirt and Phil whistles. “God, could you imagine if he _was_ a submissive? Sorry. That was inappropriate.”

“You better hope he isn’t. Can you imagine how many foreign governments would get a thrill out of breaking Captain America?” Sitwell says.

Bucky wants to kill Sitwell _and_ Rumlow. He wants to take Steve out of that room and cover him with his body, pleasure him until he’s calling Bucky daddy and protect him from all of this bullshit. Rumlow gets Steve secured to the cross.

“That’s too tight,” Bucky mutters. “It’s a blood flow issue.” Phil goes to the intercom.

“The bindings are too tight on his wrists.”

Rumlow nods and loosens them. Steve turns his wrist, relieved. Rumlow walks to the far wall and takes down a whip. He goes back over to Steve, making his footsteps threatening and heard. He’s close to Steve. So close it looks like he’s brushing his cock against Steve’s ass.

“He can’t touch any erogenous zone without consent,” Bucky growls. Phil goes to the intercom and gives the warning/reminder. Rumlow chuckles and backs up.

“You’ve got your guard dogs in there, Rogers. Worried about you.” He backs up. He whips Steve in the center of his back. The crack is loud. A long, red welt appears instantly.

“Ow,” Steve says, like he’s stubbed his toes. His biceps flex like he’s annoyed.

Rumlow whips him until he’s a mass of color. He’s beginning to purple and bruise in places. Soon, he’ll bleed.

“He should have a monitor in there. This is bullshit.” Bucky says.

“They’ll stop at blood.” Phil says, tightly.

Sitwell clears his throat. “Actually, this is length of time not injury. Pierce is demanding it. It’s part of the adjustment to account for Rogers’ unique physiology. And, I guess he’s not willing to give a blood sample anymore? The serum means he doesn’t react normally. You don’t give the Hulk a dumb bell if you’re trying to see how strong he is, you know?”

“Fine. How long?” Phil asks.

“Five more minutes. He’s halfway through,” Sitwell says, sounding vaguely apologetic. He has no designation so this is clearly all a little weird to him.

“What’s after that?” Bucky asks.

“He’ll get a few orders. See if he can resist. And then comfort.”

Phil snorts. “He’s not gonna take comfort from that asshole.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Once a submissive drops, they’ll do all sorts of things, right?”Sitwell asks.

“Yeah, we have laws against that,” Bucky growls.

Steven finally flinches at one of the hits. It’s a louder hit than the rest and Steve’s back is suddenly a wash of red.

Bucky turns to Phil. “He’s gotta stop at blood.”

Phil repeats it back on the intercom. Rumlow pauses. Shrugs. He’s breathing hard. Bucky can hear Steve breathing through the speakers. His chest is rising and falling. Rumlow walks around Steve, stops in front of him, presses the whip against Steve’s nipple and then draws it down to his stomach. He rests it under Steve’s crotch, looking him in the eye.

“You are one pretty bitch, Rogers.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Steve says.

“You know what would make me happy, _boy?_If you call me daddy. Isn’t that what the subby boys called their dominants back in the good old days? Bet you just want a protector, don’t you, baby? I’ll let you call me daddy. Go on. Give it a shot. I don’t know why, but I think you’re gonna like it.”

“Hey. _Daddy_. Go fuck yourself,” Steve growls. “Better?”

Rumlow looks at Steve’s lips for a long moment. “Lick them, baby. That’s all I want. They’re dry. Don’t you want to?”

“Whip me or don’t. But, deciding my designation on whether or not I lick my lips doesn’t seem all that scientific.”

Rumlow hesitates. “That’s a good point, Cap.” Rumlow unbuckles Steve’s wrist slowly, lowers the hand and rubs the skin. Steve pulls away from him. “Not everyone likes it rough. Most submissive love the chance to go down hard, just drop like a fucking stone because they get slammed by what I give them. But…” He’s looking at Steve curiously. “Maybe I went about this all wrong. Maybe you like it soft. Just want to be a good boy for your daddy,” his words are soft and coaxing. There’s so much dominance in it that it’s making Bucky’s skin crawl. Rumlow undoes the other wrist too, slow and careful, fingers gentle on Steve’s skin. Bucky thinks Steve swallows. His gaze dips to Rumlow’s mouth. Rumlow licks his lips.

“Does that mean you’re a submissive?” Steve asks him, voice a little rough.

Rumlow chuckles, runs the back of his hand down Steve’s face, “Do you want to be a good boy for me, Cap? Want me to let you nurse on my big cock while I tell you how sweet you are?”

“If it smells better than your breath I might just consider it. How much do you like teeth? That’s a serious question by the way.”

Rumlow backhands Steve across the face. “Fine. I didn’t like that, anyway. You aren’t the kind of guy anyone wants to be nice too, anyway. Are you? Get down on the ground!” he shouts. “Do it. Jesus, don’t you _want_ to be a good boy and obey? You’re _hopeless_. You’re a bad, _worthless,_ awful _boy_ who won’t ever get a daddy. You better not be a submissive because no one would want you. You’d be an awful fucking sub, Rogers. Too big. Too stubborn. Defying orders and wanting to be in charge. We like them sweet. Soft. Get down on the ground and apologize! Maybe I’ll forgive you. You can still be good for me if you do it right this minute.”

Steve has been very still the whole time. Bucky has every muscle pulled tight and Phil has an arm on him to keep him where he is. Steve says nothing. Each second seems like an eternity while they wait for Steve to respond. 

A timer beeps and they all jump. Steve still hasn’t said a word. Coulson strides to the door, throwing it open. “That’s it. Test over. Go wash the stink off. Rogers, I’ll take you to medical for your back,” he says, reaching down for Steve. Steve gets to his feet easily, ignoring Phil’s hand. He rolls his shoulders. It must be agony, blood is sliding down his back sluggish but not yet stopped.

Bucky turns and walks out of the room. He goes to the nearest bathroom and splashes water on his face. If Steve had passed by him, gotten close, given any indication that he needed Bucky, he doesn’t know what exactly he’d do. But, he’d most likely give it all away. And Steve might, too. 

Steve needs him now. He’s a good boy. So fucking good. It must be destroying him inside to have those words echoing in his mind. He leaves the bathroom and walks out of the building. He needs air. There’s a park several blocks away and he goes there and stares at the ducks for a few minutes. Feels tears in his throat and burning his eyes. Steve needs him.

And yet, there is no damned way he can go to him with the way they’re already drawn to each other. Steve is alone, he thinks, over and over again. With this horrible secret that he’s actually a submissive and he’s just been assaulted and abused by a dominant and he needs Bucky more than ever.

Bucky has to do something for him, get him something at the least. Steve is a good boy. He is the_ best_ boy. He’s strong and gentle and yielding. Bucky knows it’s a mistake. It’s a giant fucking mistake to walk into a god damned lingerie store and buy him a pair of sky blue, silk panties and a garter belt for each thigh but he can’t fucking help himself. Bucky hands over his credit card. Steve can throw them away if he wants to. But, he’s got to give his boy something to show how lovely he is, when he can’t actually claim him and keep him.

Maybe Steve will feel a little better. He gets it wrapped in tissue and puts it in his jacket pocket. When he gets to his office, Coulson is there.

“I’ve got Rumlow on the next mission. He’ll go tonight. Probably best if he’s gone for a few days.” Phil says.

“Is Steve healing?”

“Yeah. He is. Scabbing already. And, you know, I don’t see how they could want to do any more tests after that. Think Fury is pissed about it. The meeting got cancelled and we’re gonna send Steve home for the day, too. Protocol after a test like that. But, I think you better clock out early, too. Take a sick day,” he says, and even though he isn’t saying it, Bucky knows Phil has picked up that something is going on between him and Steve. “Go home, Barnes. You can’t go see him. You know that, right?”

He nods. His words are shaky. “Yeah, I know that. I barely know him.”

Phil sighs. “Your key card shows that you went in to the gym’s Drop Room two nights ago and you were there for hours. The cleaners have already been in, but everything is logged. It’s circumstantial but it’s all there if anyone wants to look through the logs. I’m not sure how many people know he boxes for hours every night but if someone wants to figure it out they can.”

“Fuck. He’s the strongest submissive I’ve ever met. He only went down for me because we’re Compatible. Until we met I think he would have just lived his life and managed it. I don’t know if the serum masks it or what but it wasn’t until we met in the gym that he went…haywire.”

“Are you saying he crashed?” Phil asks.

He gives Phil a look. He isn’t going to go into details.

“Compatible. With Steve Rogers. I hear Florida is nice,” Phil says. Bucky can’t even smile. “Just lay low and be careful?”

“I don’t know if I can stay away from him. And, not after what Rumlow did to him.”

“He’s fine. He told a very bad joke to the nurse on duty and had a second helping of pie. He will be discharged in a few hours. Right now, he isn’t a submissive. He’s passed the test and he’ll get marked down as non-designational. The only way that gets fucked up is if you go to him and everyone sees.”

Bucky nods. He’s the only one who can fuck this up for Steve. If Steve sees him, one of them is likely to break and go to the other. They may not even make it to a Drop Room. That’s how much he feels like he needs to comfort Steve right now. And nothing would make Steve hate him more than outing him in front of everyone as a submissive.

“Phil. Wait. I know you’re right. It’s just…. This was a hard day. I didn’t get this for me or to upset him or anything. But, would you please just give him this? Or, ask him if he wants it. If he doesn’t want it, throw it away. I just have to know I did _something_.” He pulls the package out of his pocket. It’s in a small brown bag at least so it isn’t obvious that it’s from a lingerie store.

Phil looks at him for a long moment. “I’m gonna do you one better. I’ll give this to him and make sure he gets home. Then, I’ll go into the system and get the logs erased from last night. But, when I come to you and ask you for a favor very similar to this one, you promise me you’ll back me up for any irregularities.”

“Jesus fuck. What? Any other day and I’d be hounding you to find out who and what that story is. Deal.” Phil takes the small bag. Tissue paper crinkles inside.

Phil sighs heavily, peeks inside. “Victoria Secret? Barnes. Oh, Barnes. You’re screwed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve has another eval with Rumlow. It's one on one with Bucky and Phil having to watch from another room. He whips him and insults him, tries to break Steve down so he'll act in a submissive manner. it's not particularly nice. Bucky wants to go to him and can't. He buys Steve a present for Phil to give to him. That's the chapter. Much hurt. Next chapter will be comfort if that helps.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not getting out of this story at 50k. Pretend the gif of Elmo in flames is here.

It’s hard to let anyone touch him. Steve knows he has to get through the cleaning of his back. He knows he needs to eat and make it seem like this isn’t a big deal.

He did it. He made it through the ‘test’. He blinks back tears. Test. What kind of fucking test was that?

It was nothing like Bucky’s quiet commands and studied calmness in the gym. Rumlow tried to _break _him. He wanted to force Steve’s submission and he would have been gleeful. He would have abused him and hurt him. He might have had Steve suck his cock.

He might have…. He’d felt Rumlow hard against him. He’d reeked of sex and the smell he’d had on had made Steve feel nauseous and horny, and he could still feel it clinging to him. It was on him and in his pores. Has it been whipped into his flesh?

And then, Rumlow had said he was…. He tenses his back, trying to see how healed he is, trying to use physical pain to distract from the emotional pain. He has to get out of here. Phil is standing in the doorway and telling him he’ll take Steve home once he’s dressed. Steve gets dressed and carefully leaves the room. He feels swollen and breakable. Putrid. Like the wrong touch will make him explode into a million, globby pieces.

“Thank you for being there today. It was good to know I had someone in my corner,” he says, voice wobbly. Fuck.

“In all honesty, I was only there because Barnes came to get me. He wanted someone there, besides him, who could try to watch out for you.”

“Was he… Was he there?” His voice is shaking. He sounds desperate. He _is_ desperate. If only yesterday had never happened and Steve could somehow have that comfort today.

There’s a long pause. “He was. As soon as it ended he left. I think he was concerned about how he’d react if you or Rumlow came out of the room while he was still there. He didn’t trust himself to be in the same room with either of you…. He’s a good man,” Phil says, just as they get into Phil’s car.

Wait. It hadn’t even occurred to Steve that Bucky might still be at the office. Steve could see him. Touch him. He wasn’t supposed to do that. Steve can never have him, he knows that but, can’t that start tomorrow? He puts a hand up to his face, swallows down a sob.

Phil opens the console in the middle of the car and pulls out an unopened pack of tissues. He hands them to Steve. “I like to be prepared.”

“You’re a good man, too, Phil.”

“Yeah. So, Bucky… he gave me something to give to you. If you don’t want it I can throw it away.”

“I want it.” Steve says it too quickly, but he can’t help it. He has to have _something_ from him. Some acknowledgement that he did good or maybe even _is_ good. Even though Rumlow said differently. It echoes in his mind, the mean things Rumlow said, echoing every insecurity and fear he’s ever had.

He isn’t good, he certainly isn’t a good boy and no one would ever really want him because he’s—

Phil reaches into the backseat and pulls a small paper bag out of his briefcase. He hands it to Steve. Steve holds it for a long moment. Feels it crinkle. He sniffs loudly and has to stop to blow his nose and wipe his eyes. He opens the bag and there’s a wrapped parcel inside.

Phil pulls out his phone, types something, looking away like he’s trying to give Steve privacy. There’s a little note. Just 6 words. _I’m so proud. You were incredible._

Was he? That’s not what Rumlow said. That’s not how he feels. Steve is a liar and a fraud. He’s alone and he always will be. Phil’s phone dings and Phil sighs.

“Um, do you want to talk to him? On the phone or something?”

Steve shakes his head. How can he call him? He doesn’t even have his number. Which really makes his throat fill up with tears. What kind of connection do they even have when he doesn’t even have Bucky’s phone number? Phil’s phone rings. “Well, there it is,” Phil murmurs. He answers the phone, tells the person to hang on and hands his phone to Steve.

“I’ll be back.”

Phil opens the door and closes it again. Steve puts the phone to his ear. He’s so out of it he doesn’t even know who it is. “Hello.”

“Sweetheart,” Bucky says, and it sounds like Bucky’s heart is breaking. He sounds like Steve feels. He needs him. His daddy.

“Please don’t leave me alone,” he begs. God, he’s pathetic. The sob just happens. It’s loud and awful and Bucky exhales sharply into the phone.

“My place or yours?” Bucky asks, no hesitation at all.

“Yours,” Steve says. His place is given to him by Shield. It’s impersonal and he hates it. Every fiber of his being is telling him to go to his dominant. Go to Bucky so he can be cleansed. He doesn’t just feel battered and hurt but like something was taken from him. It should be scary to think Bucky can give him back a sense of self but that’s where he is. Rumlow did something to him and Bucky needs to undo it. Submissive’s and dominants complete each other. Mentally and physically.

Whatever Rumlow put onto him and tried to beat into him, Bucky can take it all away.

“How is your back?” Bucky asks.

“It’s fine.”

“I need to see it, Steve. If you come to me, you need to be prepared for that. I want you here so fucking badly, but we need to talk about it a little. I don’t think we’ll be making objective decisions once we’re together.”

“I understand.” And he does. He doesn’t want to talk to Bucky. He wants Bucky to take him apart and remake him. “He touched me,” Steve says. “You would…would you touch me, too?”

“Yes. Well. I want to. Is that what you want?”

“I want… I want to smell like you.” He wants to smell like his soap and his clothing, his come and his sweat. He wants to be steeped in his dominant so no one even thinks of approaching him.

“I know, baby. If you come to me then I’ll wash you clean, too.”

“I don’t think that’s enough,” Steve whispers. “Mark me up.”

“Okay. I can do that. I’ll mark you up if that’s what you want. In fact, I think you need to expect that. If you come to me tonight, I will mark you up inside and out, Steve. Watching him with you was devastating, baby. It already feels like you’re mine. My instincts will be driving me hard. I need to fuck you. And, I’m going to drop you. I’ll keep you safe, baby. In my bed, the whole time.”

“Okay. Good…. I’ve never felt like this before. I hate this. How he’s made me feel. I need you to get him off of me. I don’t think I’ll feel like myself again until after we’re together. He said… he said I was _bad_.” And Steve can’t even say it properly. It’s too awful and he’s so ashamed.

“You _know_ that’s not true. I was so proud of you. Stevie, sweetheart. You need to get here now.”

“I smell him on me…. _Daddy_, I’m sorry. _D-daddy._” What is he even saying? He doesn’t know Bucky beyond their few hours. To be needing him like this, seeking reassurance from him and calling him something so serious and private and big as the word ‘daddy’ terrifies him. He’s never said it before to anyone, hadn’t ever expected to. It’s got connotations and expectations and obligations built into it. At least it did in the 40’s. It does to Steve. “Fuck. I don’t know why I said that. I hate it,” he says. 

“Stevie, this is part of us being compatible.No. No, you’re okay. _Fuck_. I need you here _now_. Where is Phil?”

Steve looks out the window. Phil is staring at nothing, leaning on the car next to them. Steve opens the door and holds the phone out. He tries not to cry. He opens the present. Blue silk and lace. Panties and garters. Pretty. So, pretty.

He touches the material. Phil opens the door. Looks at the package and looks away. He starts to drive. Steve touches the fabric. He can’t let himself think about anything else right now. The car finally stops. The building is modern and large. Bucky is waiting out front. He opens Steve’s door and takes his hand to pull him out. Steve can’t let go. He doesn’t hug him or kiss him, that much he can manage to resist for a second but he can’t let go. As soon as he touches Bucky that’s it. He’ll be done.

Bucky says goodbye to Phil and closes the door, pulls Steve into the building and past the doorman. They’re silent at the elevator. Steve leans a little closer. The door opens. Steve gets Bucky’s hand on his very low back. Gentle. “Does this hurt you?” Bucky asks, softly.

He shakes his head no. Bucky pushes the button for his floor and turns to Steve, tilting his face up with the lightest touch. He is taller than Bucky but he’s so hunched in on himself, so far down in a bad space that it’s like he’s coiled down and small again. Bucky wipes at the tears on Steve’s cheeks, doesn’t say anything, just looks at him, reassuring and steady. His expression is filled with such devotion and promise that Steve has to close his eyes for just a moment. Lips press against his cheek. The doors ding open. Bucky escorts him down the hall, opens his apartment door and locks it behind them.

A shiver goes through Steve. “I’m not in a good place,” he says.

“I want to strip you and wash you clean,” Bucky says, voice full of careful control.

Steve nods. “He’s everywhere.”

“_No_. He has no claim on you, Steve,” he says, pressing his lips to Steve’s. _Finally._ Finally, Steve feels like he might be okay. He gasps into Bucky’s mouth and he gets hard so fast it hurts. There’s a glimmer of good on the horizon, he thinks, as he wraps his arms around Bucky’s neck and kisses him frantically. Bucky is undoing Steve’s pants and shoving them down.

He puts a hand on Steve’s cock, over his underwear. “Good boy. Hard for me just like you should be,” he says, rubbing him gently. “You need to feel good. I promise you will, baby.” He takes his hand away.

“Daddy,” he pleads.

“Shh. Let’s clean you up.”

Steve steps out of his shoes and fumbles with his pants and socks. He’s trying to stay upright and get clothes off his ankles at the same time. “Fuck,” he mutters, annoyed at his instinctive response. This would be a lot easier if he just bent down and took everything off. He drags in a deep calming breath of Bucky’s warm skin, leaning into him. He needs to stay close to Bucky, head in the crook of his neck and that’s making it awkward.

“Slow. You’ve got it,” Bucky says, a hand on his jaw and his shoulder, keeping him close while Steve finally gets his clothing off. He grunts, triumphant and starts to put his arms around Bucky. “I’ll take your shirt off. Arms down, baby.”

Bucky takes Steve’s shirt off, looking at Steve’s chest and pressing a kiss near Steve’s ear. He wants it on his neck. He’s throbbing there again. Bucky takes a breath in but stops almost instantly, nose wrinkling. He must smell Rumlow. “Come on,” he says, pulling Steve to the bathroom, a barely suppressed growl in his words. 

Steve doesn’t even look around as he passes through the living room. All he can see is Bucky in front of him, guiding him, leading him with purpose. His skin itches from Rumlow and he feels not just unclean but dirty to the very core of him. Bucky goes into the bathroom and turns on the shower. He undoes his own pants and takes them off so he’s naked too. Steve is about to go to the ground, to bury his face in Bucky’s groin but Bucky stops him.

“I have to see your back. I had no choice but to walk away, Steve. I’m so sorry I couldn’t walk into that room and help you. If I had stayed…. I would have held you. I would have given away your designation. All I could think about was covering you and reclaiming you. It was leave or do something stupid. I’m sorry. So sorry, I couldn’t care for you. I shouldn’t have left you. I’m sorry.” Bucky says, blinking quickly. But, a tear slides down his face and Steve feels loved and empty. He needs Bucky’s cock inside him. Steve has to cling on for a little longer. Be more than his designation and urges.

“No. That was the right thing to do. You did that for me. So they wouldn’t know. It’s okay.”

Bucky turns him, fingers gliding over his back. His touch is careful and soothing. So warm that Steve wants to press back into it, be covered and held by him. “Everything is almost completely gone, sweetheart. There’s a few pink lines but that’s all. Let’s get you clean,” he says, pressing a kiss to Steve’s shoulder blade. They get into the shower and Bucky firmly presses Steve towards the wall. _Perfect_. This is exactly what he needs. Bucky taking control, guiding him, fixing this.

He exhales shakily and Bucky makes an encouraging sound behind him, presses another kiss to his neck. “I’m going to drop you hard, Steve.” He nods. That’s as it should be. It’s exactly what he needs.

“How long will you keep me down for?” He tilts his head, offering his neck. Wanting Bucky to understand how willing he is to let go for him.

“I’m not sure. Six hours, maybe… twelve. I want twelve, fuck I want days with you, but it’s dangerous, Steve. The connection between us is…I’ve never met someone and felt like they were supposed to be mine like this.” Bucky presses against him, cups Steve’s cock protectively in his hand and puts a hand on Steve’s chest, cupping him there too. Two vulnerable parts of him that Bucky is shielding.

This is where Steve should give Bucky an out, tell him not to trap himself if he’s that worried. The sane thing to do would be to let Bucky wash him, mark him up with come and bites, dress Steve in Bucky’s clothes and tuck him up in Bucky’s bed until he feels stable enough to leave.

Then separate. Keep it the bare minimum but he just can’t. His pulse is pounding and his body aches for this man. His dominant. Bucky wants to drop him for hours and he wants that so fucking badly. It should be scary, the willingness to be utterly vulnerable and dependent upon Bucky but it isn’t. “Maybe it’s already too late,” Steve whispers. “I want days, too.” He wants more than days but telling a stranger you want to spend forever with them is creepy.

“It might be, sweetheart.” Bucky is touching himself. Steve can’t see it but he knows. A moment passes and then fingers are at Steve’s lips, pressing into his mouth. He can taste Bucky, not just his skin, but a hint of bitterness, his come. He pushes back, feels Bucky’s hard cock against his ass. Wet at the tip. If he was on his knees he could get more.

“He’s in my throat. I smell him. He’s inside me.”

Bucky growls. He can feel Bucky stroking his own cock, pumping it, knuckles brushing Steve’s ass, and then the fingers are back at his mouth, another taste of pre-come, slick on Steve’s tongue.

“Then I’ll feed you, won’t I? I’m gonna feed you a lot tonight. Get you full at both ends.” Steve sucks hard, wanting more of Bucky’s come in his mouth. Bucky strokes Steve’s stomach, hand cupping under his belly button. “Do you want to be full?”

He nods. “I want all of it. Over and over again.” Bucky is washing him with soap, gets him technically clean, but he doesn’t feel all that much better. He’s still covered in Rumlow. Bucky gets him out of the shower, reaches for a clean towel and then grabs his towel instead, drying Steve with it.

Steve goes a little hazy with that, letting Bucky dry him thoroughly and then roughly over his nipples until he sways. “Sorry, I might drop from that,” he says, embarrassed.

It’s already happening as Bucky takes him to the bedroom. He can’t feel his feet and his hands are weak. He’s totally boneless and when Bucky pulls back his covers, Steve flops down and gets to his back with a low groan, using up the last of his energy to spread his legs and put a hand on his leaking cock.

“I’ve got you,” Bucky says, and Steve hears the snick of a lube bottle. He keeps his eyes open, stays with him, not wanting to drift away and miss it.

“I don’t want to go,” he slurs. “Don’t… don’t let me come. Not yet. Want to see you use me for a bit,” he whispers. “Need to feel you, daddy.”

Bucky kisses him on the mouth. “You’re so sweet. I’ll take good care of you, baby. You’re going to wake up and feel so much better. Open your mouth, Steve,” he says, and Steve opens but gets Bucky’s hand on his jaw anyway, forcing him open and head still.

Bucky’s cock is hard and dark, glistening at the tip as he jacks himself off next to Steve’s face. Bucky presses into Steve’s mouth and comes. Steve swallows and swallows, his mouth tingling and then watering as he wants more. It’s in his throat and sliding down, hot and soothing like whiskey.

Steve takes his hand off his own cock and puts it over his stomach. Bucky’s come in him is more precious than anything, certainly more necessary than his own orgasm.

“Thank you,” Steve says, kissing the head, licking the slit gently until Bucky pulls away from him.

Bucky’s cock is still rock hard, balls swollen. He jerks himself fast and tight over Steve’s stomach and chest, gently touching his sides and his abs. He’s looking longingly at Steve’s neck and his mating glands.

“You can touch me a little,” he offers, turning his head.

“I’m sorry, Steve. God, you know I want to. We just can’t risk it.”

Steve wants to cry at the denial but then Bucky is coming all over Steve’s stomach and Steve uses the last of his strength to arch up, wanting more of it. Bucky moans and gives his cock a final stroke, stripping one last fat bead of come out of the head and then he takes Steve’s limp hand and puts his fingers into the mess on his stomach.

He places Steve’s fingers in his mouth and under Steve’s nose. Leaves his hand there so Steve can mouth at his own fingers, taste Bucky and smell like him while he’s out.

“Thank you,” he whispers. Fuck, he’s so out of it he might not have said the words, just meant to. Bucky’s hands are warm and precise as he rubs his come into Steve’s stomach and pecs. He strokes some on Steve’s cock and against his lips.

Bucky moves between Steve’s legs and hikes his legs up. “Too tired,” Steve says, forcing himself back to reality enough to speak. He’s embarrassed he can’t help, not even strong enough to keep his legs up and around Bucky’s waist.

Bucky chuckles. “You’re basically gone, sweetheart. Just let go.” The first touch of Bucky’s cock to his hole makes Steve come. Everything after is a blur.

***

One moment Steve’s dropping and the next he’s laying in bed with Bucky as he tries to remember what happened. “What time is it?” he asks, voice raspy. He can taste Bucky in his mouth, licks his lips and has a hint of bitterness. His ass feels loose and wet. His cock is spent and his balls gently ache. He came a lot. Dim memories of coming untouched, and of his cock pulsing while enveloped in Bucky’s strong grip, tease at the edges of his memory.

The more he tries to focus on them, the farther away they get. He can feel the echo of Bucky’s weight on him. He puts a hand to his neck and has the faintest twinge that Bucky sucked hickeys into his skin but that’s almost gone too.

“How long was that?” Steve asks. He’s hungry and he feels like he’s slept for a hundred years. His body feels amazing. Steve turns into him, sighing happily when Bucky drapes an arm over him.

Bucky pushes up so he’s on an elbow, looking down at Steve. Steve blushes and doesn’t even try to hide a grin.

“You’re so beautiful, Stevie.” Bucky sighs. “That was twelve hours. We can’t go any longer. Was it long enough, sweetheart?” Bucky asks him, and Steve wants to say no, but Bucky actually looks exhausted and he does feel amazing. He’s just wanting to be greedy.

Although, what he really wants is to get fucked and feel it happening.

“How much do you remember?”

“Not…not a lot,” Steve says, wondering if he was any good and if Bucky was pleased or not.“Was I… was I okay?”

“You were so sweet, Steve. You were perfect. You dropped beautifully. Your whole body went lax, so receptive,” he says, sounding almost awed. 

“Did you come inside me more than once?” Steve asks, pushing his head into Bucky’s chest, embarrassed but needing some details since he can’t remember.

“I did. I tried to stop after two, wanted to give youa break but it was like being caught up in an undertow. You dropped and it pulled me along too. I didn’t start to go soft at all until the fourth time. I pulled out then but you couldn’t be alone. Every time I tried to give you a rest you started to come back to yourself.

I’ve napped with you off and on and have been inside you most of the night. Poor sweetheart,” he says, kissing the top of his head. “How sore are you?”

He isn’t. That’s the problem. He can’t hardly feel it at all. He just feels wet and open but there’s no reminder or twinge. He isn’t experienced enough to know if that’s the serum healing him or because Bucky was so gentle with him and took his time.

“Did you move a lot, I mean, was it rough or just… feels like you were really careful.” Why can’t he feel it more? He’s not sure he should be annoyed that he doesn’t feel _used_ but he does.

“I tried to be careful with you, baby. You trusted me and I didn’t want to take advantage of that,” he says, apparently missing the damned point.

“No, that’s not what I mean. I was trying to find some kind of reference for what my body can take, I guess.” He shrugs. “You had to be in me, all that time?” he asks, and he wants to cry. He was basically just a desperately needy submissive and he didn’t even get to enjoy it.

“Hey. What are you thinking? It wasn’t a hardship, Stevie. It was perfect. And that was what you needed. I’m honored you let me help you.”

“I didn’t even know it was happening.” He remembers coming. Has vague memories of groaning and begging. His voice is hoarse so he must have been loud.

“That’s pretty common, Steve. If it’s been too long then it’s easy to go too deep and be unaware of what’s happening to you.” Yeah, he knows that. It was one of the ways submissives used to be discovered back in the old days. They’d get fucked well and would drop and be out of it for hours afterwards.

“Yeah, but…. but I don’t get to _keep_ you. This isn’t going to happen again and I wasn’t even aware of what the fuck I was getting. I feel like I cheated myself,” he says, and he gets out of bed. Come slides out of him as he gets up and he’s mortified and proud at once.

“Can I take a shower?” he asks, already moving to the bathroom.

“Stevie. I shouldn’t go with you. But I will if you want.”

He’s a strong, independent person. “I’ll be fine,” he says, forcing a smile. He goes to the bathroom and locks the door even though it’s unnecessary. He knows Bucky isn’t going to follow him. It’s more so that he stops wishing for it. Stops fantasizing.

He was in a bad, vulnerable place and Bucky took care of him. He turns the shower on, pees and wipes up a little while he’s waiting for the water to heat up. He’s trying very hard not to touch himself back there.

He gets into the shower and lets the water rush over him. His stomach has dried come all over it and he can smell Bucky all over him. He doesn’t want to wash him away, but that’s just a want, it’s not a need. It’s instinct not necessity. He uses soap to wash himself clean, needing to put the night behind him. Because it’s over. It’s done.

He finally gets to touch his hole and gets two fingers in easily enough. He stays like that for a moment, full, feeling it, trying to remember how good it was. If he doesn’t stop now he’s going to get maudlin about the whole thing, and he may not be able to keep it together.

He finishes getting washed up, dries himself with a clean towel and then Bucky knocks on the door. He’s going to leave clean clothes outside for him. Good. No way is Steve wearing the old ones again. 

The thing with that jackass Rumlow seems distant and like it happened to someone else. The temptation to beat the shit out of him is still there, though. He’s a fucking bully. His clothes will still smell like him and would just bring it all back.

He opens the door, hallway empty, and then puts on Bucky’s clean clothes. The shirt is tight, the pants fit fine and the briefs make him hard. He looks at himself in them for a minute, slides his hand back to press against his hole and wants so badly to have Bucky inside him that he has to stop or he’ll just beg him.

He forces himself to think about Rumlow again. Let’s himself get outraged by him and how he was treated. “If you run the department, why is Rumlow doing evaluations? He has no business having that job,” Steve says, as he goes out to the living room.

Bucky is sliding eggs out of a pan and onto a plate. He casts a look at Steve, looks away and shakes his head. Bucky looks exhausted. Steve is pretty sure he’s going to sleep the moment Steve leaves.

It takes a toll on a dominant to have a sub drop for an extended period of time in their care. Their anxiety goes through the roof, some primal need to protect their submissive totally screwing with their emotions. And Bucky came a lot, answering the call of Steve’s body and what he needed. Most likely he didn’t sleep at all, just lay there waiting to give Steve what he needed, half fearing an unexpected attack.

Being a dominant sounded weird and unpleasant to Steve. He wasn’t overjoyed to be a submissive but the idea that a submissive could control him like that, make him tender and vulnerable, was just as bad, maybe even worse, then what Steve had very rarely felt. 

“I agree. He’s not my choice, but Pierce’s. I’ve wanted him gone for awhile. Frankly, he’s never treated anyone else like that. He usually goes by the book.”

“I’m going to get him out of there,” Steve says. “I’ll go to Pierce myself.”

“Hold up. Fury was there, Sitwell was there, and you had Coulson and I there, too. Let us try first to get rid of him. I don’t want Pierce asking you questions about your designation if we can avoid it. You’re in a good place now. Don’t rock the boat. Someone without a designation might not be quite as distressed as you are about it.”

He gives Bucky a look.

“I don’t know,” Bucky says, sounding annoyed. “Fuck! I _know_ you’re right. I’m just trying to get you to wait so I can try first. It’s probably just a hang over from what we did, but I don’t even want him to _look_ at you. Anything that would draw Pierce’s attention, or Rumlow’s, makes me want to kill them both.” Bucky runs a hand through his hair and Steve can see his hand trembling.

Steve nods, willing to let it go for now. Bucky pushes the plate towards him. Takes a few breaths and gets Steve coffee.

“How are you?” Steve asks, carefully.

“I’m fine. Let me watch you eat,” he says, standing there with his arms crossed like a grump. Steve eats the eggs and drinks the coffee and Bucky watches him with a disturbing amount of attention. As soon as he’s done, some of the tension goes out of Bucky.

“Can you get rid of the clothes I wore here last night?”

“Already gone.”

Steve gets his shoes on and tries not to look Bucky in the eye. Or the face. Or at all, really. “Thanks,” he says. The total inadequateness of the response makes him blush.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Bucky says, sincere. “I’ll see you at work, I’m sure.”

“Uh huh.” He doesn’t move to the door. “Can I have the present?” Steve asks, unwilling to part with it.

“Sure. If you want it. I’m not sure it was the best idea. I just figured since I wasn’t going to see you that you needed to know you weren’t what he said.”

Steve should leave it at that. “And what do blue panties and garter belts say I am?” he asks, because this is the man he’s compatible with and it’s breaking his fucking heart to walk out the door here.

Bucky shakes his head, lips in a hard line. He’s reached his limit.

Steve nods. “You take care of yourself, too, yeah?”

“Oh my god, I’m the last person you should worry about,” Bucky says, and manages to sound sincere. He’s got a smile and a small chuckle and everything.

Bucky walks to the front door, opens a closet and gestures to where it’s sitting on a shelf. Bucky’s being very careful not to touch him.

Steve gets his present and leaves. The good news is that he doesn’t cry before he’s left the building.

***

It takes him an hour to walk home. He feels a little better by the time he gets there. He puts the present in his underwear drawer, at the back, for when he needs to feel good about himself or is missing Bucky so desperately that he has to have some piece of him, and tries to let all of last night go.

He showers again, weeps while he uses his own soap instead of Bucky’s, is devastated to find that he’s all closed up and virgin tight again, that he can’t taste Bucky or smell him on his skin.

He gets dressed and runs, then waits for it to be time to go to work. He’s just in time to see Rumlow leaving the building. Phil escorts him out. Steve is off t to the side, not all that close to the building yet so no one notices him. Steve ducks his head and goes into the office, trying to convince himself it isn’t worth his time.

If he punched Rumlow, he might kill him. The rage was burning bright and he felt amped up just looking at him. And even if he punched him, broke his nose, maybe knocked out a few teeth, etc., then what? Then Pierce would hear about it and he’d be back on his radar and Bucky would be pissed.

He walks away for Bucky. There’s not a hell lot elsehe can do for him. He gets trotted out to a few meetings where he meets people and listens to them tell him a series of things about his life that aren’t usually true but that they’ve heard and wish were true.

Then he sparred and ran through some drills Shield seemed to constantly wanted him to be involved in. 

He went to find Phil after lunch. He was moving a few files around and muttering to himself. He looked up when he saw Steve. “I hate being in the office,” he says.

“I saw Rumlow go.”

“Yes. He’s been transferred elsewhere. Fury took care of it.”

“He should be fired.”

Phils shrugs. “He’s military. He’s got a contract. Pierce sent him elsewhere and said it was far away and that’s as good as it gets sometimes.”

Steve blows out a breath. He knows all about shitty compromises. It’s what a lot of war is. “I wanted to thank you for helping me last night.”

“Of course,” Phil says. His smile is a little strained. “I will keep my mouth shut if that’s something you’re worried about.”

“Oh. Thanks. That’s not why I’m here, but that’s good to know. I guess I just had a few questions. If you’d be willing to answer them.”

“Come on in and close the door,” Phil says, and Steve does. Grateful, actually, that he has someone he can ask questions of that isn’t Bucky. Someone who knows what he is and knows Bucky too. He takes a seat.

“Bucky said being a submissive wasn’t career ending. That submissives still go on missions.”

Phil sits down behind his desk. “Right. Submissives weren’t allowed to serve in the military until fifteen years ago. Suppressants and toppers are so good nowadays that it’s easy to ensure a submissive won’t go down at the wrong time, for just anyone.”

“Did that happen a lot?”

Phil is giving him a look. “Well, you were in the military, you tell me?”

Steve shrugs. “I guess they self-opted out for fear of what might happen to them.”

“You were in the military?”

Steve shrugs. “My designation was never much of an issue. I don’t know if I was too sick or too ornery but it was manageable. Now, though. What if you’re Compatible with someone?” Steve asks, and feels himself going red. “How does that change things?”

“Right. That’s where things are, huh? That’s kind of what I figured. That doesn’t happen a lot. Most people don’t worry about it. It’s kind of like believing in soulmates. Everyone wants one, but it’s not often you wind up with one. I suppose Designational Compatability is more scientific than soulmates, but it’s rare. Only 20% of the population have a designation. The pool is already limited. Then you throw in chemical perfection or whatever it is and that makes it very tricky.”

“If you met someone you were Compatible with, what would you do? Would you stay away from them?”

For a moment Phil looks grief stricken and he wonders if he’s asking about something sensitive that he has no business asking about.

“It’s two people, Steve. It doesn’t matter all that much what one person wants if the other isn’t on-board. I think not wanting to risk the physical and mental pain of such a perfect match not working out is a valid reason to give it a wide berth. People make that decision.”

“How…how fast does it happen?”

“It depends. It can be after one sexual encounter or a dozen.”

“And treatment for that is drugs?”

“There’s likely to be therapy too. Psychiatric observations aren’t uncommon. Usually, if you’re bonded, people give in and stay together. Find a way to make it work.”

“He said sometimes people are so worried about it, they’ll leave. So they don’t get trapped with someone they can’t escape. Will he leave?”

Phil shakes his head. “I don’t think so. His family is here. Sisters, parents. Friends. Girlfr-- nevermind.”

“He has a _girlfriend_?” Steve demands, instantly feeling sick.

Phil winces. “I don’t know. He did. But, Steve, it’s very likely he’s got exceptions built into his relationship. With his job he’d almost have to.”

“Why _is_ this his job? I thought he was a sniper?”

“He is. He still goes on missions. But, he’s exceptional and an incredibly powerful dominant who also happens to be very even tempered. Those two things don’t always go together. Look, I’m pretty sure I’ve said more than enough already. Talk to him. Call him if you two can’t stand to be in the same room as each other. If you want to pursue something with him, I can’t imagine he wouldn’t want to. You’re Captain America. I mean, you know, you’re Steve Rogers.”

Yeah, because everyone wanted Steve Rogers just as much as they wanted Captain America, he thought miserably.

***

He runs into Bucky as he’s leaving medical. He’s got a cotton ball taped to his arm. He looks tired and rumpled. His eyes are a little glassy and when he sees Steve it takes him a minute to acknowledge him.

“Steve, are you alright?” He runs his gaze over Steve like he’s looking for injuries. The idea of someone worrying about his physical health is endearing and makes him feel even more alone.

The fact that it’s Bucky and that Bucky is worrying about him when he’s clearly got his own problems, makes everything even worse. Hell, even his friends had no problem firing bullets in his general direction, they were so convinced of his immortality.

“I’m fine. Doc wanted to check my back today, before I can be cleared to go back to training. How are you?”

“Good. Fine.”

“You’re lying,” Steve says, and he wants to hug him, get him tucked up in bed and take care of him. He’s pretty good at it. Spent so long taking care of himself and then his ma that he’s got a pretty impressive bedside manner, even if he says so himself.

“It’s nothing to concern yourself with,” Bucky says, soft but firm. Steve looks at his arm, wanting to ask and annoyed that he needs to let it go.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” he asks, instead.

Bucky’s brows raise in question. There’s a twitch at the corner of his mouth. “No, Steve. There was someone a few months ago. It was off and on for awhile, but that’s it.”

“Oh. Good. I just didn’t want to be intruding on that.” Steve doesn’t want to let him leave yet, but he’s got nothing else to say, and he’s not convinced he’s done all that well on conversation so far anyway. Even just staring at Bucky and being near him is nice. Steve’s weight shifts forward, the slightest movement closer.

“Steve, I have to go. I’m sorry. It’s going to take me a few days to get myself back together. And I can’t be around you for that. If you… if you have trouble, let me know and we’ll work something out. I don’t want you to be on your own if you have a problem,” he says.

Which raises another question since he’s coming out of medical with a cotton ball on him. “Do you have aproblem?”

“No, sweetheart. I’m okay.” And then he’s pushing past Steve and Steve’s pretty sure that Bucky Barnes is going to be quite difficult to track down for awhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments have been scientifically proven to extend life expectancy. 
> 
> If there's a problem with the 'black out' sex situation, like i should tag it something, let me know. I'm not taking it out, but I'd tag it better if anyone thinks it's an issue. Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

Which is what makes it so ridiculous when Fury comes down the hall, Barnes in tow just as Steve is getting to the elevator not two hours later. “Captain. Why don’t you come with me?” Fury asks.

Bucky gives Steve a tight nod but otherwise treats him like an acquaintance. Which he is. Obviously.

A doctor is having a quiet conversation with Phil as they walk in. A man with a large bow is standing off to the side watching Phil like a hawk.

Turns out that’s an appropriate description as his name is Hawkeye. He and Steve shake hands and then they all go to a different room,which turns out to be the morgue. It’s cold and there are several bodies on tables, each of them covered with a sheet.

“Clint,” Fury says, and Hawkeye clears his throat.

“I’ve been undercover for the last few months. Me and several agents have been investigating a para-military group that had lots of drug ties, and murder for hire kind of jobs in the south. Alabama, Kentucky, they are rapidly expanding their area of control and we think, are importing, maybe even manufacturing a new drug on the market that’s resulted in a lot of bodies turning up. And we’ve found a lot of people who haven’t died but the mental instability seems worse than a quick death.

“What do you mean mental instability?” Steve asks.

Clint shrugs. “Most submissives don’t commit crimes and certainly not violent crimes. It can be hard on their psyche, whereas it’s a lot easier for dominants to do violent acts. It’s estimated that 60% of all murders are committed by dominant men. But, there’s something about this drug that changes the chemical makeup in a designated person’s brain. Some of them go a little screwy. Insanity, delusions, self harm. One guy tried to claw his own eyes out. It’s fucked up shit.” He pauses, gives an inappropriate smirk. “That’s the technical terminology there.”

His gaze slides to the men and away, all inappropriate jokes wiped away. A mask, Steve realizes, they all have them. “These guys were the rest of my team,” Clint continues, “Four dominants and two non-des guys. They didn’t check in and it’s because they were murdered,” he says, rage in his tone.

“How did you escape?” Steve asks.

“I pulled him off the mission. He was on his way back to headquarters when they missed their check-in,” Phil says. “It seemed like too many agents assigned to the mission.”

“Not your best call, was it Coulson?” Clint says, hands fisted like he might hit him.

“You’re pissed because you weren’t one more casualty?” Phil asks, angrily.

“I’m pissed because I could have _saved_ them.” Clint takes a step forward and Phil backs up with a frown. Steve sees Bucky’s head tilt to the side, and his arms cross as he watches the two argue. “I might have made the difference, but you—“

“Save it,” Fury says, interrupting. “Doctor,” he says.

The doctor looks between Phil and Clint and clutches her clipboard tighter. “Um, all of the agents with a designation had their glands removed and blood drained.” She throws back a sheet and Steve suppresses the involuntary feeling of revulsion that makes him want to turn away from the slaughter. He’s seen worse in the war. It’s fine. This is part of the military. This is part of what he needs to get used to again.

A few more scenes like this and maybe he’ll get that numbness back like he had before the Valkyrie went down. When he could look at murdered bodies and rummaged through their pockets without hesitation. When the stench of death was so present that it took a little while to realize it was gone. He’s gotten out of the habit. The cruelty and senselessness of murder sits at the front of his mind and he just feels hot and sick that there’s such awfulness in the world.

Maybe the numbness will be a good thing. He knows this guy, doesn’t he? Didn’t he meet him two weeks ago in line at the cafeteria? “Agent Jackson?” Steve asks, trying to see past the blood and gore to the man he was.

“Yeah. Good guy,” Phil says. The doctor points out the incisions in the side of his neck, along his groin, even his underarm, where parts of him have been removed.

“What’s the purpose of this?” Steve asks.

“We’re thinking the glands are needed to make the drug.”

“Is it possible they knew we were getting close and sent us a message? Remember Prague?” Bucky asks.

“No, I don’t think so,” Clint says, and he shudders at the memory of whatever happened in Prague. “When I got there, the place reeked of gasoline. I smelled it and we sent in a robot through the bathroom window. The front door was rigged to explode. The bodies would have been taken care of, I would have been eliminated too, and they’d have gotten the glands without us knowing what they were doing.”

“Sounds like Hydra,” Steve says.

Fury snorts. “We’ve come a long ways since Hitler, Cap.”

Steve drags his gaze away. “What? I know, I just….” It wasn’t just that Hydra was his only frame of reference for this sort of atrocity, was it? The medical experiments reminded him of the things he’d seen. Maybe that was common. Perhaps medical experiments on people had just continued since WW2. He just didn’t know.

“What’s next?” Bucky asks, and Steve is grateful because he doesn’t have anything else to contribute and couldn’t find a way to finish that sentence.

“We’ve got a cleaning team and investigative team out there now. Right now, we’re just waiting on whatever they find. But this is top priority and you should expect a call to deploy in the next few days,” he says, to Steve. “You’ll get a more detailed report in a few hours, and we’ll have a meeting tomorrow to go over what we’ve found. Dismissed.”

Phil turns and walks towards Clint who is storming out of the medical bay like he’s about to beat the hell out of someone.

“Did you know Jackson?” Steve asks, as he and Bucky leave the room.

“Not all that well. I don’t usually get sent out on the same missions he did. He was undercover. Longer postings. And, Rumlow took my old job as a team leader before he came on.”

Steve feels like the scent of death is clinging to him and he wants to scrape it off. Get it out of his body. It had been so cold and everything had been so sterile that he can’t actually have that smell in his nose. He knows that. It isn’t real. Can you remember scents? Like an olfactory memory? He looks at his hand. He hates his skin. Sometimes he wonders if his skin would peel off like Schmidt’s had.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asks him, interrupting his thoughts. Which is good because he’s not thinking right.

“Of course I am. I just met him a few weeks ago. Signed something for him. I don’t think I’d prepared myself for people to die so easily. Maybe that was stupid. During the war, it was constant. Twenty new guys come in, a week later there’s five left and it starts all over again. You…um, you learn to compartmentalize. Don’t go too deep. That’s what I need to do. I hadn’t thought I’d need to stay that way. Vigilant. That’s all,” he says, when he wants to say is alone and numb. Alone and numb is half the reason he was so fucking eager to get that plane in the water in the first place.

He looks at Bucky and knows it’s too late for him, feels like he might die if Bucky goes on a mission and doesn’t come back. As if he’ll just drop dead too. That the connection between them is so strong and intense he’ll know if it happens. And then he’ll likely take himself out again. Do a better job this time.

“Where are you?” Bucky asks him, stepping closer to him.

Steve takes a step back. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Come to my office—”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you need me,” Bucky says, reaching out a hand. “You’re off,” he says, gently.

“Don’t touch me,” Steve says, voice hard and flat. Bucky’s hand drops. “I’ve been alone for a very long time. I don’t _need_ you. I want you. And I can’t _have_ you. That’s the end of it. Don’t tell me that. I never needed anything until this happened. Isn’t that what you said?” Steve’s heart is beating fast and the urge to hit someone or even himself is bubbling through him.

“Steve—”

Fury comes out, tells Barnes to follow along and Steve stalks away, wanting to get away from him. The rest of the day is strange. In fact, he’s not sure where the rest of the day goes. He did paperwork and he talked to a few people. He went to more training and got kicked in the head which was a sign of just how out of it he was.

Now he’s in his apartment, sitting on the couch and the tv is on and the screen is blurry. A car backfires in the street and he finds himself on the floor, curled up in a ball.

Which isn’t something he’s ever done before. Was it cowardly not to see the other victims? Should he have looked under the sheets to see the faces of those men who wouldn’t be coming back? Did they have families? Of course they did. Everyone has family.

Well.

He’s going on a mission soon. Fury had told him to be ready. Steve is pretty sure he is not in suitable shape to lead anyone at the moment. And if something goes wrong and it’s his fault…. He can’t do that. He’s more than a little compromised because of this thing with Bucky. At least, he thinks that’s part of why he’s feeling so anxious and lost. Almost dazed but very down and in a dark place.

He needs to tell Fury about his designation. It’s the right decision. He texts Bucky to tell him what he’s going to do and his phone rings a moment later. He doesn’t want to answer it because then he’s going to hear Bucky’s voice and he can’t have him. He’s weirdly fragile at the moment.

Just as Steve gets the courage to answer the phone it stops ringing. Then it starts again and he answers.

“Steve Rogers,” he says, because it’s habit.

“What’s going on?” Bucky asks, calm as anything.

He doesn’t want to guilt Bucky into anything or have him get involved with Steve out of obligation. But, it also means he can’t just say the truth. “I don’t want something to go wrong on a mission because I was trying to keep a secret. Especially with this drug out there, it’d be irresponsible.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything for long enough that Steve has gone to the window, looked out and come back to the kitchen again. “And, you’re feeling okay?”

“Are you asking because of earlier?”

“I suppose so.”

“I think there was some stupid part of me that felt like I was done seeing dead bodies. But, I’m not. And because of who I am… I’ll see dead bodies until I am one.”

“Stevie,” he whispers.

Steve forces himself back on track. “So, tomorrow I’ll talk to Fury. He’ll probably have questions for you.”

“I appreciate the heads up, but I can handle it. My decisions were biased and not great, but I tried. Fury’s bark is worse than his bite.”

“This is the right decision, isn’t it?” Steve asks, wanting his opinion. Wanting anything from him.

“I’m not sure my opinion is relevant,” Bucky says, voice soft. “This is your personal life and you have pretty strong feelings about people not knowing your designation. If you’d never met me, you’d be classified as non-designational and Shield would be none the wiser. Hell, _you_ might have been none the wiser.”

“No. I knew. I just didn’t have to deal with it. And I didn’t want to. That’s not the world I’m living in now. That information seems important. I don’t want to tell people, but I have to. What will happen when I tell Fury? What’s Shield protocol for this?”

“You’ll be assigned a dominant to have your six. They’ll try to find someone you can respond to if a mission goes wrong enough for you to be compromised or drop.”

“But…I’ve only dropped for you.”

Bucky makes a sound low in his throat. He isn’t sure what it’s supposed to mean, but it makes Steve’s dick go hard and he has to stifle an answering noise. He clears his throat and rubs his hand across his right pec, absently, the muscle a little achey. He pinches his nipple and stops himself.

“Yeah, well, the obvious answer is that I’d start going on your missions. Now that Rumlow is gone that was likely going to happen anyway. There’s a couple submissives I get paired with on occasion and I do go out on missions so it’s not anything unusual. The problem is that we’re Compatible…. Hang on. Just give me a second,” he says, and the phone mutes.

Steve goes to the kitchen, pours himself a glass of orange juice and drinks it all down in a few swallows while he waits. He pulls out leftovers and starts heating it up. He feels better now that he’s talking to Bucky. Just this small connection makes the fear and anxiety plummet.

“Sorry, I just wanted to get my thoughts together. So, I can pull a list of dominants and we can see if you respond to anyone else, that way you wouldn’t have to go with me.”

“Because you don’t want to go with me?”

“Steve. Don’t. I want to go with you. _That_ is the problem. You’ve gotta keep it straight, sweetheart. You have to remind yourself that it isn’t you, it’s chemical and it’s both of us. We both aren’t getting what we want here. If you let it get twisted around as your fault or because you’re not good enough or something, it can go very badly, very quickly. This is a common emotional spiral that happens to submissives when they separate from a dominant. If you start doubting yourself and blaming yourself, you have to call me or go to medical. Promise me.”

Why the hell is that making him cry? He wipes the tears off of his face. “I will.” He swallows hard. “So, someone I can drop for. More tests. Like Rumlow?” he asks. How can he do that without Bucky?

“No. Nothing like Rumlow. If…if that’s the route we go, testing you with dominants, then I’ll be there and I’ll be the one to negotiate it all for you. That’s part of you responding to me. Our connection would give me a lot more input to get it right for you and keep you safe.”

It’s both a relief to know that Bucky would help him and it’s also upsetting to think of Bucky passing him off to other dominants. Being there and watching him do more tests, these strangers wanting him to respond to them.

“That makes it sound like I’m yours and you’re giving me away.”

“That’s one way to look at it,” Bucky says, after a long pause. He wishes he could see Bucky’s face.

“What if I don’t drop for anyone else?”

“Honestly, I don’t think you will drop for anyone else. Not unless something goes really, really wrong. And Shield won’t give you anything screwed up enough to get you to that response. If something was that problematic going in, they’d make sure you weren’t the only one who could lead.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t lead?” he asks, uncertainly.

Bucky chuckles. “That’s like having a lion guard the steaks. The lion is going to eat them because that’s what lions do. You are going to lead. That’s what you do, and who you are, and that’s what people want. I can already imagine sending a team out under someone else and the bitch fit we’d hear when the leader got back as they all looked to you. You draw people to you, and they trust you, and you’re good at it. You’ll lead by default, Steve.”

There’s a warm glow in him from Bucky’s words and the conviction in them. “Well, that might be one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.” This man is supposed to be his. He knows it. His dominant and his lover, maybe even his daddy. He doesn’t just want Bucky, he feels a need to give to him. And after saying something so sweet, meaning it, Steve should be able to kiss him and make him feel good too. 

“I wouldn’t lead you.” I wouldn’t want to, is what he’s thinking. 

“I can follow orders from you. That wouldn’t be a problem for me. Well, unless your life was in danger, then it might be difficult. But, otherwise, I’ll follow you to the end of the line.” 

His throat is clogged with tears and he has to put a hand between his legs, pressing hard into his hole through his clothes, some bizarre attempt to self-soothe when what he really needs is his dominant filling him up and making him whole. “I just… Look, I understand why we need distance. How it could go wrong for us or trap us, but isn’t there another possibility? That maybe we’d want to be together? If we’re compatible physically and hormonally maybe we are mentally, too?”

There’s a long hesitation. “Steve, I’ve already started a course of anti-bonding drugs,” he says, horribly gentle. “That’s what I was doing in medical. And, you need to do it, too.”

It’s like the ground has opened up to swallow him. He turns off the stove, too nauseous to eat. “I’m sorry? Should I be apologizing?” he manages, because Bucky had to be with him again last night and clearly Bucky wouldn’t have chosen that. Bucky’s got a handle on himself, maybe wouldn’t even have needed to go on the drugs if Steve wasn’t so needy after Rumlow.

“Steve, don’t apologize. This is just where we are. I knew after that first night that any further interactions were going to be a problem. I mean, I think a case could be made that I bonded with you that first night.”

He dashes the tears off his face. “Yeah, but after. With Rumlow. I’m sorry,” he says. He sits down on the couch, puts his head in his hands.

“Steve. I wouldn’t change it. If I was doing it again, I’d make the same choices.”

“I don’t even remember it,” Steve says, furious and frustrated. “I know it was a big deal, I feel different after last night, but I don’t remember it and that’s, well, I’m having a hard time with that. Even if it is common.” And he hates having to cheapen how he feels, say it’s common and normal and standard when it feels like fate and everything good he’d only ever fantasized about and never let himself hope for.

“What do you mean you feel different?” Bucky asks.

“The doubt is gone,” he says. “About you and I. And, even though I felt good this morning, the further away that got the worse it was. It’s like that asshole Rumlow hurt me, and you fixed me up but nothing is locked in place. Everything seems fragile and like… like something bad would just rip off that band-aid.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I keep thinking I had one night with you and I’m never going to get another—” Oh god, he’s going to start crying. “I better go.”

“_Steve_. You need to go to medical tomorrow. If you’re this upset, sweetheart, you’ve got to go.”

Fuck him. Does that mean he isn’t this upset? He sure doesn’t sound upset. Although, he says he’s on a treatment now. That Steve has to do one, too. “What will they give me?” he asks, trying for rational.

“I’m not sure. It will depend on the approach they decide to take. You’ll probably need a psych eval.”

“Did you get one?”

“I did,” he says.

He sighs. “Sorry. It’s none of my business.”

“Well, it’s kind of your business,” Bucky says, and it sounds like he might be smiling.

“I wish I could see you,” Steve says, and wishes he could take it back. “Sorry, that puts you in a weird position. I know that if we’d met under different circumstances, like at work or at a bar I’d… _want _you. Want to know you, I mean.” He does actually mean want him, like visceral, carnal want but saying that helps no one.

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees, softly. He can hear in his voice that he means it, too. That the attraction would have been mutual. If Steve had been just a normal guy who’d passed his designation test and could have gone out with a dominant. 

“Don’t you feel like we’re being denied a right to have something together?” It just isn’t fair. And, hey, Steve knows more than anyone that life isn’t fair. Christ, does he know that. But, it also seems like he’s due for some kind of a cosmic break. Instead he’s getting fucked over again with something that should be good, instead making his life awful.

“Steve, you need to tell me what you want here,” Bucky says, so soft and supportive. But, maybe he isn’t supportive. Because he isn’t rushing in with promises or telling him to come over and be with him. Bucky is keeping him back, treading water or something.

“I’m not sure there’s much else to say,” Steve says. He’s going to get through this. He’ll go to the gym, and he’ll go for a run, and tomorrow will be another day. And, then, maybe it will be better.

“How worried do I need to be about you?”

“Not at all. I’m nothing to you, right? That’s what you’re actively trying to make happen and what I need to make happen.”

“You’re very clearly _not_ nothing to me or we wouldn’t be so miserable. I think I should go with you tomorrow when you go to medical.”

“Why?” Steve demands. “If I’m not yours then why would you go?” 

Bucky sighs. “I want to be there. I think you want me to be there. Text me if you decide that’s what you want and I’ll make sure it happens.”

“I’ll talk to Fury first.”

“Feel free to leave me out of _that _conversation,” Bucky says, and Steve doesn’t have it in him to smile or chuckle or whatever he’s supposed to do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JFC. There's a god damned plot. I've kind of been agonizing over whether or not to take out the clint thing and the murdered agents because that's plot and I'm not a hundred percent sure It's something I want to write or anyone wants to read. 
> 
> Think a bigger chapter will be posted tomorrow and yes, the 'no we mustn't, okay let's' nonsense is almost over.... and then they have new problems.


	9. Chapter 9

Fury is looking at Steve with more than a little annoyance. “You’re submissive? Despite what the tests said?”

“Yes, sir. That’s what it looks like.”

“What in the _hell_ does that mean?” Fury demands.

“It means I went down for one person. Uh, ever.”

“You went down for Barnes,” he says, after a long pause, like it makes perfect sense. “And he didn’t think that was worth reporting?”

“He thought it was a Compatibility issue and thought someone else should do the test.”

“Compata— well, damn. I’m sorry to hear that,” he says, frowning. He shoots a glance at Hill which somehow conveys both his immense lack of understanding and how much he doesn’t want to know more about it.

“Yeah, apparently it’s a bad thing,” Steve says, forcing a smile.

Fury gives him a look and then ignores the comment. Which is for the best. The idea of having to talk emotions with Fury would be like… he doesn’t know what it would be like. But, it’d be awkward and unrewarding. Maybe like trying to teach poetry to fish or something. “What did they say in medical?”

“Nothing. I’m going there next. I don’t know if it can be kept a secret, but that’s my preference.”

Fury looks out the window and back again. “Go to medical. I’ll talk to Barnes and let you know when we have a plan.”

“You’re not going to make decisions about me without me being there,” Steve says, flatly.

“No, we’re not. But he’s the Head of Designational Resources and he’d be the person I called for any submissive who was in my office. If it needs to get shuffled over to someone else, we will. If anything, he’ll likely be too cautious, but we’ll see.”

Two hours later, Steve goes to Bucky’s office. The door is open but he isn’t there. Before he can decide if he wants to come back later or not, Bucky comes down the hall. He’s got jeans on and a t-shirt, black half boots and hair falling into his face. He’s gorgeous. He sees Steve and pauses, looks down at his hand and then back to Steve.

“Too late. I’ve seen it. What was it?” he asks, noting the cotton ball and medical tape on the back of Bucky’s hand.

“Just an IV. They took blood this morning and didn’t like the stress hormone levels in my system.” He shrugs, like it isn’t a big deal. The longer Steve looks at him the easier it is to see that Bucky looks like shit. At least, as much as someone so attractive can look awful.

“You don’t look…great,” Steve says, hesitantly.

Bucky rubs his hands over his face like he’s exhausted. “I think I feel worse than I look.” He grimaces. “Look, Steve, I shouldhave told you I was getting the bond suppressed and made sure you did it, too. I should have realized this would be just as hard for you as it is for me. But, this is it, you know? There aren’t a lot of chances left to walk away from each other.”

Steve shakes his head. He can’t walk away from Bucky. That’s where he is. Does Bucky think he still can still walk away for Steve?

“You left yesterday morning and I didn’t cope well with that. I needed you to stay so we could take care of each other when you weren’t down. You have no idea how much I needed you to stay.”

“No, I think I do,” Steve interrupts, harshly.

“Right. I get that now. After we talked last night, and I had time to think about it, I realized you were in the same position I was. Maybe I thought it wasn’t as bad for you because of the serum or because I still can’t quite believe you’d be willing to let the bond happen. We know so little about each other. I don’t know what you like to eat, if you like to read or go to movies and what kind. You’ve never met my family, we haven’t talked about our childhoods. There’s a lot, you know?” 

Bucky is being sensible and Steve kind of hates him for it. For having the strength to do it when he doesn’t think he does. Maybe Bucky doesn’t want him all that much. Certainly not as much as Steve does.

“I’m sure you think it’s ridiculous but I… don’t want to fight this. You keep saying I should and I just don’t feel that way. It’s like a punch to the gut that you’re able to let it go.”

The words explode out of him. Not so much that he’s angry just exasperated. “You’ve been out of the ice for a _month_. It’s overwhelming and you have to feel lost. You told me you feel alone. And now you’ve stumbled into some random guy and you won’t even have the chance to find someone else. You could have anyone, _anyone_ in the entire _world_, and you’re gonna be stuck with some dude from human resources who’s killed some people? Don’t you think I would be a gigantic fucking asshole if I tried to lock you down and not give you a choice? Yeah, I want you. I have no idea how I will go on if you decide you want to walk away. But, I don’t want to make that harder for you. I am trying desperately to not sway you and give you a choice,” he says, practically begging Steve to understand.

“I’ve decided. Didn’t I tell you I made decisions quickly?”

Bucky scoffs. “I think you said you made ‘epically _bad’_ decisions quickly.”

“Well, I’ve made good ones, too. This would be a good one.”

“You’re out of your mind. My sister would literally sell tickets to meet you. She’s fourteen and has an entrepreneurial spirit. Don’t laugh. I’m not kidding. I’ve got a racist grandma _and_ uncle, and my mother is so cheap she makes pennies squeak. She’d call you every fucking day and you’re so polite you’d talk to her. And you’d be so polite and charming. They’d love you. I’m not the one getting the shit end of the stick here, pal. It’s _all upside_ for _me_!”

“I’m glad I have an eidetic memory. That was adorable.”

“Fucking hell. Well, I don’t. I’ve got a normal memory that’s probably not all that great because I smoked too much pot in college.”

“I always lose my keys,” Steve says.

“Well, I never lose my keys, so there’s that. Prime foundation for an epic love story.”

He blinks and turns away. God, is Bucky about to cry? The idea is both upsetting and pleasing in a schadenfreude sort of way. Did you talk to Fury?” Bucky asks, sounding a little hoarse.

“I did. He sent me to medical. I guess the serum is a complicating factor. They’ve taken some blood, given me some shots and I’ll go back again before I head home tonight.”

“Okay. Good. How do you feel?”

Steve has no idea how to answer that question. He stares at Bucky.

Bucky’s cheeks go red. “Whatever they gave me yesterday made me feel like I was going to throw up. And I had a panic attack on the range. And I kept dreaming I was on a fucking train and dying over and over again. I was just wondering if you were having the same reaction.”

“You mean when I saw you, and asked how you were, and you said you were fine?” He doesn’t like the idea of Bucky not being honest with him. Demanding honesty from Steve and not giving it back to him.

“Yeah, that’s right,” he says, smiling insincerely.

“I’m just fine, Buck.” he says, crossing his arms. The sudden urge to make Bucky furious is overwhelming. He doesn’t want to do bullshit with Bucky. He wants to be honest, have it forced out of him if necessary and he wants Bucky to give him the weight of his honesty and vulnerability too.

The idea that Bucky won’t trust him with this is just… he’s Captain America. People _always_ trust him. They take one look at him and figure he can handle it. Why doesn’t Bucky?

Bucky runs a hand through his hair and turns away from Steve. “Well, I’m probably about the same. Did you sleep okay last night?” He crosses his arms and leans back against his desk.Steve shakes his head. He isn’t even sure what he’s supposed to do here. “No. I didn’t.”

Steve glances away from him and he can feel Bucky looking at him, gaze roaming Steve’s body like it has physical weight.

When he turns back, Bucky is staring at Steve’s throat where his shirt is open. There’s a flush on his cheeks. He shifts on his desk and Steve wonders if he’s getting hard. He glances down. Bucky_ is _hard. Steve can’t even look away. He wants it. Bucky drops his hands to his lap, so Steve can’t see the shape of his cock anymore.

“You should get someone to help you out with that,” Steve says, licking his lips. He wants Bucky to order him to his knees. Or even just to open his pants and offer it to Steve. His knees weaken at the idea. Bucky is as still as a fucking statue.

“Steve. _Please_. Fuck.”

“And what if it’s too late? If they can’t get it under control and I stay bonded to you for the rest of my life and I _need _you, will you still punish the both of us? This is all just fear. There would be two of us, Buck. We’re in it together. I don’t understand how you don’t see that…. I just….” He shrugs. There isn’t really anything else to explain. 

“I’m not prepared to think about that yet,” Bucky finally says.

Steve takes a step closer. Bucky straightens up, like Steve might be about to hit him and he’s got to brace himself. Or kiss him. Steve is so hurt and pissed off he could go either way. “Hey. I’m asking you to think about it. And I deserve to know. You’re deciding my future happiness or lack thereof. Your decisions become my decisions whether I want that or not.”

Bucky is staring at him intently. Working it out. “The serum is more than a complicating factor,” Bucky says.

Steve’s smile is hard and stuck on with sheer determination. “They pumped me full of a lot of shit and didn’t notice a damned thing. Nothing changed.”

Bucky nods. “What do they want to do next?”

I think the plan is just to try slightly riskier medicines in higher doses and cross their fingers. No one seems particularly optimistic.”

“Can I go with you when you go back?”

“Do you want to?”

“More than anything,” he says, with a very sad smile. 

“So…so it’s not that you don’t want me,” Steve says, hating that he’s asking. He knows what Bucky has told him. He logically understands the intent behind everything and that Bucky must care about him greatly, but he doesn’t feel it. Steve doesn’t think these relationships are supposed to be based around so much talking. There should be lots of doing and impulsivity. Not _this_.

“No, sweetheart. God, no. You know that. Don’t you?” Bucky leans forward, even puts out a hand and then lets it drop to his side.

“How can I know that when you’re pushing me away? It’s all just words,” Steve says. There’s a pit in his stomach that feels like it’s expanding, consuming him from the inside.

His hand lifts to his chest, wanting to press into his pec, rub deep into the nipple and behind it where his glands actually feel like they’re burning. It’s a dull, hot throbbing at the moment, but it’s going to get worse, sharper, he can practically feel it already, the tissue swelling as blood floods to the area.

He puts his hand awkwardly on his own shoulder, not wanting to be too obvious about the problem, but having to do something with his hand since he was already mid- gesture before he realized what he was doing.

There’s no way Bucky could tell. He can’t see the ache and the throbbing or the swelling like one can with an erection (thank god) but it feels so swollen and gigantic inside his chest, the need to be squeezed and touched by his dominant, to get some release… he’s starved for it.

And the glands in his neck, best not to think about those at all. They couldn’t even get near them in medical. It hurt and Steve panicked when the doctor so much as reached out to touch the area.

Everything hurts. And, Steve isn’t going to get settled or calmed. He isn’t going to get fucked and played with, dropped. He doesn’t get those things with this man. He’d always wondered what it would be like to feel like a submissive with the right person. He’d wanted it, he’d just never felt it. Now he has, he’s had little glimpses so he knows what he’s missing, and knowing is worse. Knowing and not having, it’s fucking impossible.

“Stevie,” Bucky whispers, looking pained. His hands are white on his desk.

“What?” he asks, voice hoarse. It occurs to him then, that time has passed. He’s just been standing there and fuck his cheeks are wet. He dashes his hands across his face and turns to leave.

“You lost a bit of time, didn’t you?” Bucky asks. “I called your name and you didn’t respond.”

“I don’t know. I suppose I must have, because, um, tears. I was just…thinking and then it was all so sad and here we are,” he says, swallowing the emotion down as best he can.

“You need to drop and your body is trying to make it happen since you’re here with me. I’m not doing anything to make a drop happen or help, and it’s affecting you, sweetheart.”

Yeah, that’s just a lot more words. He needs to be slammed like a hurricane. He’d just love to _hurt_ and then have Bucky make it better. Pain is deeply underrated. Unless it’s emotional pain and then it sucks, Steve thinks. Bucky is looking at him. He replays the conversation in his mind.

“I went to medical. They’ve given me what they can, but a drop wasn’t mentioned.” He takes a breath in and lets it out carefully. God, his chest is killing him and he feels weirdly empty and shaky.

“You need to sit down,” Bucky says, from far away. Steve blinks. Bucky is in front of him, hands cupping Steve’s face and he didn’t know that was happening, either. Steve’s hands come up and cover Bucky’s. He sways into him, puts his head in the crook of his neck and breathes him in.

“I need you. Just being close to you makes me feel better.”

Bucky wraps his arms around him, holding him tightly to him. “I know. _Okay,_” he says, and there’s a seriousness to the word that Steve latches onto. 

“Okay, _what_?”

“This isn’t working. I was offered a transfer and I turned it down flat. I can’t even think about being without you. I’ll never sleep, come or feel good again if I don’t have you with me.”

He kisses Steve on the lips, carefully. “And look at you. How beautiful you are and how sweet you are. I’m the lucky son of bitch you need. I _don’t_ want you to be unhappy. You should have the whole fucking world at your feet, Steve. Of course I want to be the one to give that to you. So, I’ll try to do the best I can,” he says, pressing a kiss to Steve’s lips. It feels like a promise. “Go sit on the couch, honey, and I’ll lock the door.”

“Do you mean it?” Steve asks, staying where he is.

“Yeah, I do.”

“You’re not going to push me away, anymore?” He’s numb. Terrified to believe it.

“I won’t. You’re mine and I’m yours and… I think you’ve been mine since the moment we met and you were a total dick to me. Come on,” Bucky leads him to the couch and Steve sits down, watches dumbly as Bucky walks away from him and to the door. He shuts it and locks it, doesn’t come closer. “What do you have for the afternoon?”

“Nothing,” Steve breathes. Bucky finally closes the distance, leans down and presses a kiss to Steve’s forehead.

“You’re warm, sweetheart.”

“Hurts, here,” he says, and lifts his hands to his chest, rubbing just below the nipples. “They hurt and I need you to fuck me.”

Bucky sits down on the couch beside him and Steve climbs into his lap, takes Bucky’s hands and puts them under his shirt so they’re on his chest. Fuck, he’s dressed. How does he get out of his clothes?

“Do you mean it?” he gasps, pressing his chest into Bucky’s palms. Bucky isn’t doing a whole hell of a lot besides brushing his thumbs gently across his nipples and Steve needs so much more. He doesn’t know if he can ever get enough of Bucky.

“I do. I mean it,” he says, and he sucks Steve’s bottom lip into his mouth and lets it go with a hard nip. Steve’s cock spurts in his pants, not an orgasm or a release, but something.

“Fuck,” he gasps, dropping a hand down and squeezing himself. “I’m all wet already.” It’s so embarrassing.

Bucky squeezes Steve’s pecs hard, dangling him on the edge of release, the pain burning bright and hot as he watches the wetness leak through the front of Steve’s pants. It’s a dime size and then a quarter, even larger when all is said and done. Through his underwear and his trousers and Bucky is transfixed by the spreading mess.

He grinds down against Bucky’s hard cock, wanting to distract him, and Bucky lets his pecs go, pets them gently and murmurs into his mouth. “Beautiful boy. Are you wet for daddy? Are you going to let me look?” he asks.

Steve stiffens at the word daddy and shakes his head. “Don’t say that to me if you’re at all thinking of letting me go. I mean it, I can’t handle that,” he whispers, pressing his cheek to Bucky’s chest.

“I’m not letting you go. I won’t. I promise. I _swear_, sweetheart.” 

“Make me believe you,” he begs, kissing Bucky’s neck. “Hurt me. I need it hard and I want you to make me believe it. Please. Just let go a little. Prove it to me.”

Bucky groans and pulls back, panting. “You know you can say red, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, red. I _know_,” Steve gasps. Bucky’s cheeks are flushed and his pupils are blown wide. Steve wants more of that. A shudder goes through him. “Fuck, I’m going to drop. I don’t want to drop. I want to stay and know.”

“Baby, you’re too needy, I don’t think it can be helped. But it won’t be this way forever. It should work itself out in a few days. Once we’re together intensely and you start getting what you need, you’ll remember. You’ll adjust to how subspace feels. It’s just a little bit of training yourself, so you don’t go so far down.”

“You kept me from dropping before. The first time.”

Bucky drops his hands, rests them on Steve’s thighs as he thinks about it. “That was the shot. You couldn’t come. If you come, you’ll drop.”

He spasms inside and touches the glands near his groin, remembering how good that was. How pretty he’d felt being soft and small.

“Stevie, do you want that again? It would keep you from dropping for awhile.” 

“I want to go home and that’s what I want. Actually, can we do that? I’m okay now. For a little while, at least. Can you finish up for the day and bring what we would need home? And I could… I could get ready for you.” The quasi orgasm/release thing helped enough for him to think clearly. He wants to be pretty for Bucky. He wants to be fucked and held at home, not in this stupid Shield office with people who might call or try to open the door.

Bucky kisses his cheek and pulls back. “Yeah, we can do that. How much time do you want?”

“An hour?” he says, pretty sure that’s enough time for what he wants to do.

“You’re not to open yourself up,” he orders.

“I won’t. Sir.”

“No lube or anything in you. I’ll take care of it tonight. That’s daddy’s job.” He pulls back. “Steve, does it bother you if I refer to myself as ‘daddy’ and call you my ‘good boy’? You don’t have to say it yet, I just, it feels right when I say it to you. But, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t,” he says, practically glowing inside with how thoughtful Bucky is being with him. “I like it. Hearing you say it is helpful, I think. I only want it if you want it,” he says, voice wavering at the end.

“Oh, my good boy, I want it. I’m sorry you felt like I didn’t want you. I’ll do my best to fix it, I swear. I’ll make you believe it so you can call me daddy if you want to.”

Steve nods. He should get up and go now, get ready for Bucky to come home, but leaving Bucky is hard. Trusting that they’re going to be together soon is hard.It’s everything he wants. Is he really going to get it?

“Sweetheart, I’m going to need you to suck me off before you go,” he says, with the same attitude as if he’s asking Steve to close the door on his way out. It’s casual, proprietary and he isn’t expecting an objection.

“Yes…sir,” he says, because just like that he’s willing to call him daddy again. He’s got to be stronger than that!

“Good. Get down on the ground or I’ll put you on the ground.”

Steve slips off of his lap shakily and gets between Bucky’s legs. He opens Bucky’s pants, pulls the zipper down and gets him out. He lowers himself, sucking and scenting his daddy, peace and arousal filling him up. Steve’s eyes are closed and he takes Bucky as deep as he can, choking a little, which Bucky praises him for, tells him he’s so good and how much he likes Steve making the effort.

Bucky groans, cock twitching in his mouth, pre-come flooding over Steve’s tongue. He swallows it down and looks up to see Bucky watching him, lips parted. Bucky puts his hands on Steve’s jaw and then shifts down, lower, spreads his legs wider, obscene, wanting to be deeper in Steve’s mouth, have control over him. His fingers slip behind Steve’s head, to the back of his neck while Bucky’s thumbs stroke his earlobes and behind his ears, dip a little lower and Steve’s breath hitches. It makes him choke and he has to pull back for a moment.

“My glands,” he says, licking his lips.

“I know. You’re mine now. Did you work on them in the shower?”

“No, sir.”

“Have you touched them at all?”

“No, sir.”

“Why not?”

He gets Bucky’s cock back in his mouth, sucking hard, using his tongue under the head and working as best he can to shift Bucky’s focus. He doesn’t really know why he didn’t. Why he’s let them get worse and worse. The very idea of touching them, himself or someone else, even a doctor filled him with fear.

Bucky groans quietly, his fingers slip back behind Steve’s neck, thumbs on his earlobes, sliding down. He goes tense in expectation. “Shh, it’s alright. Daddy will be so gentle. I won’t even get close yet. Go deeper, honey,” he murmurs, and he strokes under Steve’s jaw and towards the column of his neck, and he’s already in a tender and painful spot. He pleads with his eyes for his daddy to be gentle.

“Good boy. Stay focused. Make me come. Let me take care of you. I want to touch you here. I know it hurts. I know it’s difficult with my cock in your mouth keeping you from speaking. My hands on your neck so you can’t move away. You can always cry for daddy, sweetheart.”

He blinks. He isn’t crying. Is that a threat? A promise? Just a random comment? He wants to pull off Bucky’s cock and get clarification. Give his own preference- crying for Bucky is a wondrous and terrible thing.

“Put a hand on my balls, Stevie, stroke that tight spot at the base, so you get a lot of come out of me. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

He blushes, looks down because he can’t stand how intense Bucky is being. “Hush, sweetheart,” Bucky whispers, and his thumbs sweep a little lower, properly on his neck now and it’s agony, so intense he releases in a copious flood.

Bucky comes and he’s swallowing as he’s spilling, replacing what he’s losing with what his daddy gives him. He swallows all of it and Bucky softens in his mouth, pets Steve’s hair and lets him drift for a little. When he pulls away there’s drool on his chin and he’s all wet in his pants, the front soaked.

He tries to turn away, so ashamed to be that messy in front of Bucky.

“No, you don’t,” Bucky growls and his fist is in Steve’s hair, holding him still. “Up on your knees.” He orders. His dominance rolls over Steve, heavy and like some sort of a shockwave. He gets to his knees because he has to. “Open your pants. Show daddy.”

Bucky lets him go. Steve fumbles at his pants, opening them, shoving them down. His cock is only half-hard and he’s covered in his own release. Bucky puts a hand down his stomach, cradles Steve’s balls and his cock, lets his hand get covered and slippery. “What a perfect boy you are,” he says, and then he’s pushing his hand down the back of Steve’s pants, slipping between Steve’s cheeks and wiping his hand there so he’s messy in the back, too.

“There. I think that will get you home. Make sure you think of me and what I do to you.”

“Yes, sir,” he whispers.

“Let’s get you out of here. I need to fuck your ass,” he says, and Steve blushes. Bucky grabs his coat and hands it to Steve. “Put it in front of you so you’re not embarrassed. Come on.” There’s no arguing. Bucky’s put too much dominance in his tone and Steve doesn’t want to argue. He wants to get out of there and it’s easier to just do what he’s told and hope it’s over as soon as possible. Bucky walks with him and they don’t encounter anyone, thank god. He walks Steve to his bike, waits for him to get ready to go. He looks at the wet patch on Steve’s pants and smiles at him.

“Your place?” Bucky asks him.

“Yes, sir.”

“Are you okay to drive?”

“Yes, sir.” Steve takes a breath, tries to shake it off a bit. “Yeah. I’m good.”

“I’ll see you soon,” Bucky says. “Just make yourself pretty for me and I’ll take care of the rest.” He takes hold of Steve’s chin, forces him to look up to Bucky since he’s sitting on the bike. “You are _mine_, Steve. I’m going to make sure you know it.”

“Yes, sir.” It’s about fucking time.


	10. Chapter 10

Bucky stops by Phil’s office on the way out. “Just thought I’d come see if you’d approved the week off for Rogers.”

“Oh, I approved it. Believe me. Everybody with a designation has been staying away from the both of you and it’s all I’ve heard about. A week is serious. Bonded, huh?”

“That’s right,” he says, and he’s both happy and terrified.

“Eh. It’s all going to be fine,” Phil says, dismissively.

“I think so,” he says, slowly. The weird part was, he did. He thought they’d get along and fall in genuine love and could actually be very happy with each other. But, he still couldn’t help but think Steve could have done a hell of a lot better. “Call if something happens with Clint and I’ll come in.”

All the air seems to go out of him and Phil slumps in his seat. “Nothing will happen with Clint.”

“I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it, but I’m pretty sure Steve wouldn’t be happy with me playing dom to Clint when he’s between entanglements. Someone is going to need to step in.”

Phil winces. “Yeah, I thought about that,” he says. “I’ll worry about it later. He spent all lunch talking about this buxom blond and her skill with a strap-on. He wants to be gone ASAP. Go, have a good time, we’ll still be here when you get back.”

“Well, good luck with that. I want to get Stevie a collar before I go home.”

“Stevie?” Phil asks, teasingly.

“Shut up.”

“Leather? Metal?”

“Rose gold?” Bucky says. Good to get another opinion anyway.

“Pretty.”

“Yeah. He turns pink so easy. It’ll be lovely.” And his boy liked to be pretty. He was looking forward to seeing how far that particular kink went. “Right. See you in a week.”

“Wait!” Phil opens a few drawers and then pulls out a present. “Here you go.”

“What’s this?”

“Bonding present.”

“When did you get it?”

“As soon as I dropped him off at your place. It was the lingerie. As soon as I saw it, I knew. You were toast.”

***

When Bucky gets to Steve’s apartment, he isn’t quite sure what to expect. Steve opens the door and he smells like he just got out of the shower. He’s freshly shaved and he’s in khaki’s and a light blue, button down, linen shirt. His feet are bare. Considering how much trouble he’s had getting undressed when they’re together, he isn’t surprised to see the no shoes or socks. He loves that Steve gets so turned on and desperate he forgets how to do anything until he gets fucked.

He’s a little surprised Steve’s so dressed up but it’s cute and very him. Frankly, he’d thought Steve would greet him in blue panties or naked and ass up on the bed. There’s an open bottle of wine and two glasses, a fairly impressive cheese plate and a soft glow coming from the bedroom. It’s all very romantic.

“Candles?” Bucky asks, with a raised brow.

The blush is enchanting. The triangle of skin in the open vee of his shirt goes pink first.And then it’s up his neck and to his cheeks. Bucky reaches for him, fisting a hand in his shirt and dragging him close before he’s even in the door. He’d come up with a vague idea of how he wanted the night to go, vague bullet points like fuck, release, collar, drop. But he hadn’t wanted to become wed to anything in particular.

The evening would be about giving them both what they need for their dynamic. Reinforcing his dominance, letting go, having Steve really experience _him_. Now that they’re going to stay together, he can. He’d tried not to before, tried to keep it impersonal in hopes that the bond wouldn’t form or go so deep.

He’s pretty sure it’s a lot of the reason Steve is so uneven. Fine when they’re together and the moment they’re apart he starts spiraling. So that’s his goal for tonight. And over the week they’d try lots of things and see what made Steve lose his fucking mind.

And then repeat.

“Bucky,” he breathes as he’s pulled forward. Bucky kisses him, demanding entry.

“Open your mouth,” he orders and Steve shivers and does. He kisses Steve hungrily, like he hasn’t seen him in weeks. He wants Steve’s lips to be swollen with kisses. He angles his head, brushing the rough stubble of his jaw against Steve’s bottom lip and Steve’s eyes slide shut and he presses closer.

“You’re all clean and delicious. Maybe I should go get cleaned up, too.”

Another blush. “You don’t need to,” he whispers, shy about wanting Bucky’s scent on him. “Maybe later?”

“After I fuck you, you mean?,” he says. Steve starts walking backwards, into the apartment, pulling Bucky along with him. “So you can take a break with daddy’s dick in your mouth?” Steve stumbles back against the wall and Bucky catches him. “Yeah. Right. Sir. I can do that.”

“That’s a perfect idea,” he says, and he takes off his shoes, tosses his jacket to the side but keeps his backpack.

He may have raided a designation room before he left. He could be fired for the amount of office supplies he’d walked off with. So much missing lube.

“Stevie, I’ve taken the next week off, and had Phil give you the week off, too. We need to spend time together. I hope you don’t think it was presumptuous.”

Steve’s eyes get a little glassy and he looks down, “No, sir. I would like that very much.”

“Good,” he says, nuzzling behind Steve’s ear. Steve grabs his arms, holding onto him, head tilted in offering even as he tries to lean away from Bucky and get him to stop.

“Daddy, I’ll come. I need the shot. I’m sorry. I just want you so much, and I hurt there so badly.” He meets Bucky’s gaze. “I don’t want to drop yet.”

Bucky gives Steve space. “Thank you for reminding me. Let’s get that out of the way. Pants off, then.” Steve hesitates, standing in the living room.

“Fuck. I guess I didn’t really think out how this was going to work,” Steve says. He puts a hand to his mouth. He looks a little overwhelmed, maybe anxious.

“Come here. I know how to undo your pants,” he says, with a wink.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Ha ha. Maybe, maybe I could do the shot and come back? Just this time? I like you doing it, but not… now.”

“If that’s what you want,” he offers. He wants to take care of Steve, every intimate function. He’s pretty sure Steve likes it to, being taken care of, even for these intimate things.

After all, daddy’s take care of their boys and Steve seems like a bottomless well of submissive goodness when it’s framed around that desire to be a good boy and please his daddy.

He opens his backpack, gets the wipe and the shot and hands them to Steve. “I’m more than happy to help you if you change your mind. But, I think we’ll do this again, so I’m not concerned about you leaving me out.”

Steve comes froward, takes them and then ducks in for a kiss. “Thank you, sir.”

He goes to the bedroom. He isn’t gone for all that long. He supposes Steve has endured worse, but the idea of a shot into his own nuts strikes a certain amount of terror into Bucky.

Steve comes back into the room, pants back on, eyes a little distant. His instincts are telling him it’s a bad distant. Bucky snags his wrist and hauls him close. “Are you okay, baby?”

Steve lets himself be pulled close, body molding to Bucky’s, surprisingly relaxed considering what he’s just done. “I’m good,” he says, pressing his mouth into the opening of Bucky’s shirt, wanting to be closer and scent him. “I feel it working. Hmm, where were we?” he asks, voice gravelly.

“I know exactly where _I _was,” he murmurs and puts his lips back behind Steve’s ear, letting them slide down his neck.

Steve swears as Bucky presses the gentlest kisses to his neck. He avoids the gland itself, can feel the anxiety rolling off of Steve the closer he gets to it. “Don’t worry. Daddy will get you there. We’ll work it out, get them feeling good when I touch them.”

Steve shakes his head quickly, eyes closed. “They keep getting worse. I can’t stand it.”

“Sweetheart, everything about you makes me want to help you and have you. You have no idea. So, don’t touch them. That’s an order. Daddy will fix it. They’re mine now. My responsibility.”

“Yes, daddy,” he whispers, hand slipping between them as Steve adjusts his cock. A small whimper comes from him.

“Is that what you want to hear, baby? Is that why you had to touch yourself?”

“Yes, sir. I’ve not had anyone want to take care of me in a long time.” God, Steve is barely keeping it together.

His fingers go to Steve’s pecs, always drawn to them, and Steve jerks in his arms as Bucky gets rough almost instantly. Bucky groans, has to push back the brutal desire to just bruise him up, make Steve cry from how hard he works those perfect tits. Bucky grips tight, forcing the whole mass of his tit to lift and then pressing into it with a flat palm before groaning with a shudder as he tries to calm down. He’s hard and leaking and Steve is his to use. Steve has no idea how hard he wants to use him.

He’s not a fucking animal. Have some restraint, he chastises himself. There’s time. It’s going to be intense enough. Steve is calling his name, almost pleadingly, and Bucky realizes he’s been staring at Steve’s tits all hidden away in his shirt and working the glands. He relaxes, thumbs soft over Steve’s nipples instead of burrowing deep.

“What is it, babydoll?”his voice sounds as desperate as Bucky feels.

“Daddy. That hurts and I don’t want to release yet. I should be naked for that. My clothes should be off,” he says, almost uncertain.

Steve moves to unbutton his shirt and the top button rips off and falls to the floor, Steve so anxious and clumsy with all of this that he’s forgotten his own strength. Steve lets go of his shirt, breathing harsh, worried. “Daddy, I—”

“It’s alright. What’s going on?” Why aren’t you my sweet, clingy slut, is what he wants to ask.

“I want it to be _right_.”

Bucky takes over, undoing his shirt while Steve presses his nose into Bucky’s neck. “Ah. You had a plan, huh?”

Steve pulls back so fast he almost cracks Bucky in the chin. “Well, it wasn’t a _big_ plan, or grand gesture, or anything, but it’s a big commitment.”He looks a bit dour and serious. “It’s very important to me and I wanted to make sure it was right. Be…right for you.”

“What’s going to make it right? What do you think has gone wrong?”

Steve shrugs, blushes. His shirt is unbuttoned but still tucked in and Bucky can see the swell of his tits. They’re smooth. Bucky’s hands clench as he forces himself not to rip Steve’s shirt off and get his mouth on all that smooth skin.

Steve came home and shaved. He’s almost positive it’s everywhere. Part of Steve wanting to be pretty for him. Another way to bare himself and be vulnerable. Effort for his daddy.

“No, it’s not _wrong_,” Steve says, quickly. “I just had an image in mind of how I wanted to look for you and it was….” He hesitates, trying to find the right word. “_Perfect_. But you…. Even with the shot, I get wet so fast and I can’t even think straight. I just wanted you to see me and it’s not gonna be how I wanted….” He blinks, there are tears. Always so many tears. Bucky loves the tears.

“Sweet boy, you’re thinking too much. You made yourself a present for me, is that right?”

“Yes… sir,” he whispers, after the slightest delay. He has no idea why Steve sometimes calls him sir or daddy. Steve doesn’t see it as interchangeable, and he’d assumed sir was meant to be distancing. He doesn’t think it’s that simple.

“You’re a beautiful present. You’ve handed yourself over to me now, isn’t that right? The present’s been given,” he says, pressing his lips to Steve’s. Steve exhales, eyes dilating a little at the idea.

“Yes, daddy. Yours,” he says, so quietly and with so much longing. He’s going to wreck him.

“Well, sweetheart. Part of the fun of presents is ripping the wrapping paper off. Look at me,” he orders. “You’ve done all you can do. You’re _mine_ now. As soon as my hands are on you, your only job is to be good for daddy. All your effort should go into pleasing me and being vulnerable for daddy. _You take what you’re given_,” he says, enunciating each word clearly, imposing his will upon his boy.

Steve swallows. He’s going to argue. He blinks and the tears slip down. Bucky shakes his head, keeps eye contact with him. “You don’t have to fight so hard, all the time.”

“I’m not. I’m trying to give you everything. That isn’t fighting.”

Bucky’s hands go back to Steve’s pecs, rubbing like _he_ wants, not Steve. They’re just so big and firm, but they go soft on him when Steve releases enough. He wants them to jiggle tonight, they’re going to bounce by the time Bucky is done, and Steve is going to ride his cock and sob with emotion, and it will be so damned sweet. Steve closes his eyes, trembles. His nostrils flare, “No, I’ll— Daddy, stop. Please, _stop_, or I’ll—” There’s a strangled groan and Steve releases going weak and clutching onto Bucky. He’s miserable with his own thoughts and that’s over now.

“Good boy. Show daddy, come on, baby,” he says, and it’s a growl. Bucky feels frantic now, the need to devastate Steve and _own_ him is overwhelming. He shoves off the shirt, baring his smooth chest and pushes Steve back to the couch. Steve goes down with a gasp, startled, and Bucky gets him onto his back, is on his knees beside the couch and latching onto Steve’s sore pink nipple. He sucks hard, tasting every satiny inch of him. The little bud of his nipple grazes Bucky’s tongue and Steve twitches under him, overly sensitive with his release. He bites hard and Steve grunts, hauls in deep breaths.

Bucky makes quick work of Steve’s pants, zipper down, shoves his hand inside and finds his boy soaked in release, the luxurious material of the panties Bucky gave him all cool and wet. He fondles him with a heavy hand, Steve arching into him and away as it feels good then hurts. Bucky moves to the other breast as Steve shakes apart, mentally struggling.

“No,” Steve gasps, and he releases again. There’s no sharp convulsion or twitch of his cock, just wet, seeping wet, ruining the fabric.

“Daddy,” he’s wrecked, cheeks flushed, nipples bright and sore. Bucky fondles the flesh, grunts at the softness he now feels since his baby released twice, the swelling beginning to go down almost instantly in those perfect tits.

“This is so fucking beautiful. You’re so pretty, honey. So hard for you. I should have had you prep yourself so I could slide right into you.”

“Daddy,” he says, weak and distraught. He’s stunned, fragile and Bucky wants to consume him. Breed him and break him down, haul him to bed and keep him there like a prize, his own personal toy to fuck and mount and claim.

“Pants off,” He orders and Steve sobs as Bucky drags his pants off of him. “There it is. Look at you,” he rumbles, taking in the blue panties and the garter belts.

“But, I wanted—”

He grabs Steve’s thighs, shutting him up by hauling him to the side so his ass just about slides off the couch. His fingers are bruising, each finger sinking into the muscles of his strong thighs. Steve yelps, tries to use his hands to help shift where Bucky wants him, to slow him down, maybe get him to stop.

“We’ll look later, won’t we, doll? See if you have little finger print bruises from this on those lovely thighs.” He bites Steve’s inner thigh, not on the gland but the meaty part of his leg, presses his cheek into the wetness of Steve’s panties where he’s still soft and dainty, but filthy with his releases.

He slips his fingers along the garter belts, stroking his soft, hairless skin and admiring how lovely it looks while Steve twitches and pants under him, trying to catch up with what his daddy wants from him. He breathes him in, the scent of him and his come, that clean skin that’s under it all. He bites his other thigh, so he has two matching marks, deep enough to see teeth marks, for them to be close to bleeding.

“Look down. Look what daddy made of you,” he says, wanting to pull back and admire his handiwork, but his boy is a feast and he can’t help but open his mouth over the soft wet silk, sucking the taste of him into his mouth.

Steve arches into his mouth, hips raising off the couch. Bucky grabs him then, hand between his cheeks, thumb over his hole, rubbing in small circles. “Don’t you look pretty?”

Steve sobs, turns his head away. Fuck, he’s beautiful. Bucky needs to be in him, _now_. Steve doesn’t answer, but the shake of his shoulders, how turned away he is gives Bucky his answer. Steve didn’t want to be messy. He wanted to be _perfect_. He wanted to have it be soft and gentle, this reveal of his soft skin and tiny cock and balls. His baby doesn’t get what he wants, he gets what he needs. What Bucky needs to give him.

He pulls the lube shooter from his pocket, shoves the fabric of his soiled panties aside and presses it into Steve’s hole. Steve clenches in shock. “Relax or you’ll hurt yourself.”

Steve forces himself to relax as Bucky gets lube into him. He pulls it out, gets out a small, unopened bottle of lube he liberated from the office, and opens it up. “Hand,” he orders and it takes Steve a breath to put his hand out. It’s shaking. He squirts lube into it, way too much.

“All of it. You know where it goes. I’ll fuck you as soon as I’m naked so try to get a finger or two in you to make it a bit easier on yourself.”

Steve’s lower lip trembles as he tries not to cry and he lifts the band of his panties carefully, like maybe he can keep some part of it clean. He tries to get his palm turned quickly and in his panties, to confine the mess to his ass. There’s a wet sound as he gets it on himself and Bucky watches Steve’s fingers moving through the tight, wet silk as he touches his hole, presses a finger inside himself.

Bucky takes his shirt off. Steve looks at him and away, blushing. Bucky undoes his pants and strips them off, hard cock curved up to his stomach. He’s leaking at the tip and he wipes it up, smears it messily on Steve’s lips. Steve licks. There are more tears. Bucky hesitates, watching as Steve puts two fingers inside himself. Bucky reaches between Steve’s legs, touches the seam of the panties and snags a finger under it, grazing Steve’s still soft balls.

Steve’s wet fingers are revealed, moving slowly in and out of his hole.

“I think that’s enough,” Bucky says, and Steve pulls his hand out of his panties, seems revolted by the mess and unsure where to rest his hand. He puts it on his stomach. Bucky grabs his shirt off the ground and throws it to Steve so he can wipe his hand.

“What do you say?” Bucky demands. “Letting you clean up a little when I want you filthy.”

“Thank you, daddy,” he says, finally.

“Sweetheart. Two releases and two fingers, I think that’s enough so you can take my big cock now, don’t you?” It isn’t really a question. He’s already moving over Steve. “Push that fabric aside. You’ll keep them on while I breed you.”

A flush rises over Steve’s chest and to his cheeks, embarrassed by the language. “Do you not like that, baby?” he asks, his tone making it clear he isn’t interested in the answer. He’s watching Steve’s fingers pull the fabric aside and expose his hole and his shiny and wet little balls. 

“Fuck, look at how charming that is. All cleaned up for daddy and not a hair in sight. I’m going to worship this ass later. All this slick skin, baby. But, I’m too hard right now. I can’t think about you yet, now can I?” He lines his cock up to Steve’s hole and his baby is swollen, the area flushed dark in color. His glands are full and aching, he just knows it. Keeping Steve on a schedule and even is going to be a priority, and likely difficult, with how swollen he gets. “I think that serum is working overtime, don’t you?” he asks, and he presses the head of his cock against Steve’s hole. “Time to get fucked, honey.”

***

Steve releases. He doesn’t know why. He’s trying to catch his breath, will his body to relax so it’s easier for Bucky to get inside him, when suddenly there’s another disgusting flood in his ruined panties, the words ‘fucked’ and ‘honey’ still echoing in his mind.

He can’t even think about it. How horrible it all is. They were so lovely. So perfect. A gift from his daddy and Bucky didn’t even get to see them with Steve’s soft cock and small balls, how the fabric hadn’t bulged obscenely. The moment Bucky had walked in the door he’d gotten hard, felt himself leak. Knew the perfection of the moment was lost because there’d be a dark spot on the fabric.

By the time he’d gotten into the bedroom to give himself the shot it was a joke. The front was all wet, a weird shaped line of wetness as his cock had hardened and leaked, filled his panties and left a trail as it filled and grew.

Bucky chuckles and Steve burns with embarrassment. His daddy knows he released again. Even more messy. “Can I turn over?”

“No.”

He wants to hide. He wants to be better and perfect and so good for his daddy. The head of Bucky’s cock is big between his cheeks. He isn’t pressing yet, isn’t opening Steve up and taking him, he’s waiting. He lets his legs clench, wants to drag Bucky in closer so he’ll move, at least get Steve’s ass like he wants. Well, Bucky better want it because he’s stuck with Steve now.

“Stevie. Look at me.”

His eyes flick over to meet Bucky’s. He blinks away the film of tears. “You wanted to be pretty. You gave me that. I’ve turned you into my whore. Now I’m going to fuck you and it’s going to hurt, sweetheart. That’s how daddy wants it. You can release and you can cry as much as you want to. I want you messy so that’s what you are. What’s your job now?” he asks, and he presses his cock in. Steve grunts, long and low, hands fisting into the couch and exhaling as he wills his body to take it, to give and be _good_.

It’s relentless and almost instantly the hot, hard head of him is squeezing against his glands tucked just inside his rim. It’s almost like a barrier, swelling and blocking the way deeper into him. “Jesus, fuck. Good god, Steve.” Bucky’s head drops down and he trembles. He groans, fingers find the inside of Steve’s thighs, unerringly right to the center of his glands and he presses, forcing a release.

“No!” Steve shouts, but it’s too late and the hot lightning of it is radiating out of him. Breathing is suddenly an effort, too overwhelmed by the shockwave of it all. An exploding pain that devastated him and now it feels like he’s filled with heavy lead in his veins and his balls prickle and throb.

“Hush, my lovely. You needed that, didn’t you?”

The fuck he did. He closes his eyes and tries to come back to himself. Bucky presses into him, moving again, fucking in little movements, quick as he can but it’s slow going, as he keeps pushing past the glands, having to came all the way out of Steve and then shove past them on the way in. His chest hurts but feels kind of good because of the releases, while his neck is so stiff and aching he doesn’t even want to turn his head.

All of these stupid glands, with their hormones and chemicals and receptors and whatnot deal with designation, and he’s with his dominant, Bucky letting him have it, and his body isn’t sure if it’s amazing or awful but every piece of him feels lit up and weirdly… _right_. 

He touches his chest, needing it. It’s like there’s a line from his chest to his hole and he flutters and spasms with pleasure as he touches himself, trying to open up more for his daddy. “Good boy. Work those tits.” And then Bucky is deeper, bumps the gland near his prostate and he releases again, drops a hand to his cock and jerks himself fast, wanting to feel it like an orgasm. God, it’s frustrating and he hates how he’s almost aroused but isn’t. It’s like a horrible itch and he can’t scratch it. He could weep with how badly he needs to actually come.

“Daddy, daddy,” he begs him, and all he can do is watch his daddy be open for him and take what daddy wants him to have. Oh.

“You’ll drop, sweetheart. Best keep that hand off of there for the moment.” There’s a deep, hard thrust. Steve lets his hand fall away fromhis cock, and it feels like a tragedy. “Fuck, I’m going to come now, baby. Can’t wait.”

Steve wants to weep with jealousy. Bucky comes loud and long, there’s a fucking flood of come in his ass. He pulls out and shoves back into Steve and there’s a horrible squelching sound and Steve is beside himself. Messy. So gross and messy.

Bucky drops down onto Steve with his weight, blanketing him. Which is so fucking good he starts to drop. Bucky kisses him wet and with no care if it’s good for Steve, licks up Steve’s neck with just the tip of his tongue and his hole spasms hard on Bucky’s cock. Bucky fucks through it with a pleased grunt, through the spasming ring of muscle and something in Steve surrenders. Just gives up. “Okay.” Steve thinks he whispers.

More wetness as he releases, an oozing exhale of a feeling as his tits and his groin and even his ass just accept and go soft. Everything falls away except Bucky, his daddy. “I’m yours, daddy.”

“Yes you are. Good boy. I fucking felt that, angel. Come on. Want you on the bed now.”

He can’t move. He just can’t. Bucky pulls out of him and Steve cries out at the loss. “Daddy, no.”

“Hush, it’s just for a moment and then you’ll get me where you need me. Deep, sweetheart. Up you go,” he pulls Steve up and there’s a veritable gush of fluid that leaks out of him and spreads down his legs.

“So much,” he whispers.

“That’s what good boys get, sweetheart.” Bucky helps him through to the bedroom and Steve lands face first on the bed. Bucky gets behind him, pulls Steve’s panties to the side, panting and clumsy all the sudden as he pushes his cock back into Steve. He forces Steve’s legs out wider, grabs his hands, fingers slotted together, all of his weight on Steve and Steve thrashes weakly under him as his cock goes deep and then deeper, burrowing back into him.

He burns. He aches and he hurts back there and in his chest. “You’re my perfect boy, aren’t you?”

“Yes, daddy.” _I love you,_ Steve thinks.

“You’re my perfect whore, aren’t you?”

“Yes, daddy.” _Please love me too_, Steve almost says.

“You’re a _home_ for my cock, aren’t you?”

“Yes…daddy.” His voice shakes. He’s crying in earnest. “I’m your home.” And Bucky is his home.

“You’re everything I need, aren’t you, sweetheart?” He nods, too emotional to speak. “You need to say it for daddy. That’s what I need to hear. I need to know you understand.”

He does. Steve didn’t but he does now. “I’m a good boy because I put my daddy first.” 

“Yes,” Bucky says, sounding triumphant. “Are you proud of yourself? I’m proud of you. I’m so fucking lucky, Steve.”

“Yes, daddy. I am.” He is. He’s more than proud, he’s… confident. Content. This is where he’s supposed to be. He feels owned and protected, sheltered under Bucky’s body. He’s what Bucky made of him. He’s a sloppy mess because that’s what his daddy needed. “Was so hard, daddy.”

“I know, baby. That’s why I came so hard. Why daddy needs to come in you again,” he says, voice rough, an edge to his words. His hips move and Steve lays there, feels daddy move wet and huge inside him. Steve can’t help but whimper when Bucky presses all the way home, over and over again as he floats and enjoys the serenity of totally surrendering to his daddy. He’s perfect. Like this. For his daddy. Tears are sliding down his cheeks again, happy, joyous to feel so _right_ and cared for. Bucky kisses them away.

“Are you still with me?”

“Yes, daddy.”

It takes him a bit to realize he’s in subspace, that he’s dropped but aware. “I’m down, daddy.”

“You are my smart boy. Do you like it?” he asks, voice dark.

“Love it, daddy.”

“You’re everything I could ever want, Steve. I mean it. You know it. The way you let me have you just then, you know it. Only for daddy could you do that.” He tries to agree but it’s too much effort to speak. He drops lower, almost asleep as time passes and then Bucky’s hips slam into his, a deep grind and Bucky comes inside him again.

“Thank you, daddy. Can you stay?”

“Always,” he says, kissing Steve’s cheek and then nibbling his back. 

He sleeps and wakes to Bucky coming in him again. “Beautiful boy, I want to get some food for you. Is that okay?”

He mumbles. Bucky pulls out of him slowly and the hot ache inside of him is weirdly precious. He earned that, Steve thinks, distantly. That’s how much his daddy cares, look how much his daddy had to have him. His hips tilt, just a fraction, wanting to keep his daddy’s come inside him.

“Good boy. Let me get you a plug, sweetheart.”

Bucky disappears and comes back, gentle fingers on his cheek and a cool plug is pressed into him. “Lovely, Steve.”

“I know,” he says, and Bucky laughs, smacking him on the ass gently.

Bucky takes the underpants off of him and he thinks about protesting but doesn’t. Bucky wipes him up with a cloth, at least a little, and Steve still can’t be bothered to move.

He hears water running and things happening, cabinets opening, the tv turning on. He knows time is passing, that Bucky is letting him stay down. That he’s close by. Bucky touches him frequently, returns to check on him and touch him. A hand down his back, a hand on his head, a kiss on his arm and his shoulder. Constant comments of what a good boy he is. 

“It’s like the best drugs ever,” he mumbles at some point.

Bucky laughs. “I’m glad. You deserve good things, sweetheart.”

When he finally comes out of it, Bucky is in the other room. Steve pushes himself up, freezes in shock at the feeling of the plug inside him. He’s never had anything like that before.

He wants the come but he doesn’t like it. Is should _only_ be daddy’s cock inside him. He shoves the thought away, realizes he’s drooled all over the pillow and wipes his mouth. It’s been eight hours. No wonder he has to pee. And he’s so fucking thirsty. And hungry.

He hates the plug.

Bucky appears in the doorway as Steve gets to his feet. He’s got a pair of Steve’s exercise pants on. They fit differently on him, tight in intriguing places. He takes a step to Bucky and Bucky holds him close, lets him cuddle for long minutes.

“That was so fucking good,” Steve finally says.

“Did I use you too hard? You cried a lot and that was difficult, baby. You took everything I gave you. So sweetly.”

“I don’t know, but I’d do that every day if I could,” he murmurs, kissing Bucky’s neck. “I’m so gross.”

“Maybe I like it.” It sounds like he’s joking. Steve will assume he’s joking.

Steve pulls back. “I’m drawing the line. That’s is too much,” he says, staunchly and leaves the room. Bucky follows him to the bathroom, smiling gently at him.

He pees, so blissed out he doesn’t even care that Bucky is watching him. And then he turns on the shower and reaches back to touch the plug while he waits.“I hate this thing.”

“Really? That’s interesting. In what way? Good hate or bad hate?”

He scowls at Bucky. “_Bad_ hate. I want your come in me, but the only thing in my ass should be you. It’s…stressful. I keep thinking about it, it’s making me anxious.”

Bucky shoves off his clothes and opens the shower door, herds Steve inside. “Hands on the wall, spread your legs and I’ll take it out.”

“I can take it out.”

“I know. Let me. Little push now,” Bucky says. Steve gives him a glare, knows he’s blushing at the order. It’s just so personal. But he does it and the plug slips out.

“It’s small,” Bucky says. Steve turns to look at it.

“Compared to your monster dick, everything is small.”

“Flatterer.”

He isn’t flattering him. Bucky winks at him. A promise that he’s going to get that monster cock back in him again shortly. He starts to get hard in anticipation.

“Fuck. I haven’t come,” Steve says, as he gets achingly hard in moments. Like his body just remembered and is now determined to make up for lost time.

He looks to Bucky.

“Come here, sweetheart. How do you want it?”

“I just want to be close to you. Whatever you give me,” he murmurs, voice low.

“Arms around my neck,” he orders. Steve obeys and then there’s a hand on his cock, slick with soap. His grip is tight.

“Fuck, that’s…_daddy_.” He says, wanting it looser. Bucky loosens his grip. He wants to come. Hard and deep and a little bit painful and it’ll be over in moments. “No, you were right,” he confesses, after a minute of it being not as satisfying. It’s a bit annoying that it’s _his_ dick, that _he’s_ lived with all this time, and Bucky gets a hand on him, and has it all worked out in moments.

“You were so sweet, Stevie. So trusting. I washed the panties. They’re fine. Maybe next time I’ll be able to wait and let you show me proper.”

His cock twitches, his balls tighten warningly. “I like you wanting me.” Him not being able to wait, desperate to fuck Steve.

“I always want you. But you deserve better than that. Don’t you? More than a selfish daddy who gets near you and becomes a fucking barbarian who just wants to mount you and fill you up with come.”

“B-breed me,” Steve whispers, fucking up into the tight grip.

“Exactly. I ravaged you, sweetheart. Made you so filthy, treated you like daddy’s slut. Daddy just used you to get off, totally unable to even think about what you needed—”

“I’m going to come, daddy.”

“Oh yeah?” he asks, and the grip loosens just a little.

“Don’t tease me. Please. Please, need to.”

“Fuck my fist then. Just a little.”

“Tell me. You’ve got the filthiest mouth, I swear. I like hearing about it.”

Bucky kisses him first, until Steve is restlessly thrusting into his grip and pleading with little sounds. “You should have seen those panties, baby,” he says, panting a little as he pulls back. Bucky’s eyes are dilated and his cock is hard again between them. “They were heavy. They _dripped_. You were such a slut for me. Fuck, turn around,” He orders. Steve huffs in laughter. Bucky parts Steve’s cheeks, drags Steve’s hips back and sinks into Steve, after a few blind thrusts, catching the rim and slipping into him. He’s still opened from the plug, and he’s wet, the lube long-lasting at least, but he’s so sore. Bucky’s cock feels even bigger as it goes back inside him. “Daddy. _Careful_.”

“I’ll try, sweetheart.” Bucky clutches him close, breathing harsh into his shoulder as he works in the tiniest movements to get himself off without making Steve any more sore.

Bucky trembling in lust, holding himself still and trying to be cautious with him is hot. It is. His daddy’s control is a blessing. He’s…grateful. He should be grateful.

“I thought you had to,” Steve whispers. He doesn’t want his daddy to have control.

“You said careful. I wasn’t sure,” he says, teeth gritted.

“I…I _might_ need you to be careful, but I don’t want you to be.”

Bucky makes a hmm sound deep in his chest and pulls halfway out, sinks lazily back in.

“Oh fuck,” Steve gasps, hand slammingagainst the wall. His other hand goes to his cock, jerking himself off desperately. “God! Bucky. Daddy, it’s, fuck it _hurts_,” he says, incoherent and desperate to come. “Don’t stop. Do you need me, daddy?” he whispers, voice going embarrassingly high. 

“I’m being as gentle as I can, sweetheart. I’ll need you again soon.”

Steve comes hard, so hard Bucky grabs him, presses him to the wall so he doesn’t collapse. Three deep thrusts and Bucky comes inside him.

Bucky slips out of him and gets them both cleaned up. “I’m going to feed you now, baby. Come on.”

“After that. Bucky, I need….”

Bucky turns to him, paused in putting a towel around Steve’s waist. “What, baby? What do you need?” His daddy’s cheeks are all flushed, lips kiss swollen and his eyes so damned blue. He waits for Steve to tell him what he needs and Steve knows that whatever he says, Bucky will give it to him.

He looks down at Bucky’s cock. “Can I suck you a little? Just be on the ground and have you in my mouth?”

“Jesus, sweetheart. What kind of an asshole would I be if I said no to that?” he says, and drags him to the kitchen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom! Sorry I said it would be out yesterday. invariably, i feel like if i give a date then it's wrong and life intervenes. Thinking the story will continue along a similar dub con but he loves it kind of way. comments always wanted, all requests contemplated very, very seriously :) hope you like this chapter. i like how it turned out.


	11. Chapter 11

The food and wine get put on the table and Bucky’s happy to see that Steve drinks a ton of water. He’s surprised there’s anything left in him considering all of the orgasms and releasing his boy’s done since they got here.

They sit down, Bucky putting his hand on Steve’s leg, wanting to touch him, at all times. Steve gives him a pleased smile, shifts in his seat and his towel opens just enough to flash a bit of leg. Bucky moves his hand, resting it on the newly bared skin. He shakes his head. “God, you’re beautiful. All this pale skin. And so soft. Did you do this for you or for me?”

Steve licks his lips and has a sip of wine. “Both?”

“Is it something you want to continue?”

“Yes, but I think I’d rather have it waxed? It was more spur of the moment kind of thing.”

Bucky gives his chest a leer. His bare chest, hair gone makes his breasts even more tempting and he can’t look away.“It’s up to you, doll. Whatever you want.”

Steve hesitates, cracker and cheese almost to his mouth. He chews, has more wine. “You don’t care?”

“At this exact moment in time? No. I think we might re-discuss things when our dynamic settles down, but at this point in time, I have no preference on what you do for manscaping.”

He can see Steve thinking about the word and deciding he doesn’t like it. “Then what do you care about?”

“I care about you being happy. I care about your glands and getting that all sorted. We’d move in together, wouldn’t we?”

“I want to,” Steve says, watching Bucky for confirmation.

“Good. New place or my place? I hate your place and it’s Shield.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs. “I hate my place, too. I like your place. I don’t have a lot of stuff, anyway,” he says, looking down. He’s suddenly doing that thing where he manages to hunch in on himself more than should be possible.

“Come sit on my lap. You’re too far away.”

Steve blushes, frowns a little. “You know this would have been a lot easier before the serum.”

“You mean when you were a twink?”

His lips twitch. “I think ill and malnourished is a better description.”

He sits on Bucky’s lap, not particularly comfortably.Like Bucky is a fragile chair he’s going to break. Steve is ready to jump up at any moment. “Do you like how the serum changed you?”

Steve shrugs. “It’s done. I’d do it again. People like me a lot more now. I can do a lot of good.”

“Why don’t you like it?”

“Didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

Bucky scoffs. “You may as well have.” He eats a grape and then offers one to Steve who very happily takes it from his fingers. It’s like that’s the excuse he needed to touch Bucky. His arm goes around Bucky’s shoulders and he leans closer with a little sigh. His weight settles a little more.

Bucky feeds him another grape and kisses him. He cups Steve’s breast in his hand. It moves easily, has a nice weight to it now. Clearly, there’s a hell of a lot of muscle there, but not all of it. “A lot of submissives, and women, would kill to have breasts like yours.”

Steve goes pink. “That’s true. I think the big penis kind of cancels them out, though.” Bucky can’t help but notice Steve isn’t good at just taking the compliments when they come.

“What do you mean?” He knows what Steve means. But, he wants to hear him say it.

“Just that it looks better when it’s smaller. For a submissive. They usually are smaller. I used to be _a lot_ smaller. Like four inches _hard_. It was cute. I used to think about having a dominant and him taking my pants off, seeing how little it was, and, also, I was basically hairless, and how stunned he’d be. Like, I had that part right,” he says, and he blinks quickly.“You know, take the wrapper off and underneath there were some good parts he’d like.” He gets up and walks away, comes back a minute later with a tissue in hand.

Bucky holds out his arms and Steve comes back to sit on his lap. Another frown as Steve hesitates. “Tell me when it’s too uncomfortable,” Steve says, like it’s a foregone conclusion.

“Could old you have taken my dick like a champ?”

Steve snorts. “No. Likely not. But, I would have tried.”

“I don’t doubt it. What else would I have liked more?” he asks, curious.

“Well,” he says, and his finger traces a pattern on the table, slow but perhaps a little nervous. “I could pass for a girl, if that was something you’d have wanted, if you liked women more than—”

“I have everything I want,” he says, quick and confident. “Just you. Don’t go down that road of thinking I want something else. It isn’t true and I won’t tolerate it.”

“Won’t tolerate it?” Steve asks, carefully.

“Sweetheart, there aren’t many things that would get you punished but that’s one of them. There is no one else I’d rather be with, no other look or weight, even gender I’d want more than you. You can always ask me to reassure you or talk to you about it, but you don’t get to tell me I would have liked you better some other way, and you need to be aware that those are your issues and not based in reality.”

“How would you punish me?”

“I don’t know. It’s symbolic, really. Maybe a time out in the corner or a spanking. We have to see what suits us.”

Steve swallows. “Okay. Thank you, daddy,” he says, quietly. He presses closer, kisses Bucky’s neck quickly. He’s glad Steve has accepted the idea of punishment so easily. That it seems to almost relax him, knowing that Bucky is keeping an eye on him and will keep him safe, even from himself. Frankly, it’s always gong to be keeping Steve safe from himself.

“But, um, I would have made a pretty good wife, you know? Cooking and cleaning and I loved kids… I’d see these big, strong men and their little wives all dolled up pretty and I’d think, I could have been that.”

Steve tries to make it sound like it doesn’t mean much to him. It’s clear there’s a wound there. A sense of loss. “The shot is good. I wouldn’t mind doing that sometimes. It didn’t hurt all that much. And, it’s worth it,” Steve says, softly.

He wants to give Steve’s chest attention. Distract Steve, make him know how much Bucky loves that. He loves Steve’s cock too, but he knows Steve wouldn’t be receptive to that right now. At least, he’s pretty sure. Maybe Steve just needs to say it and be understood and having Bucky paw at him would annoy the shit out of him. His instincts tell him Steve wants to be physically reassured that Bucky loves his body, but he could be wrong so he just rubs his back instead.

“It’s really only approved to avoid dropping,” he says, holding Steve a little tighter.

Steve gets a mulish pout on his face. “I looked it up, there’s not a lot of side effects or problems with long term use.”

Wow. Okay. Bucky’s a little caught off guard. “Do you want to feel pretty or be small?”

“Both.”Steve eats some apple. “I’m pretty happy and reconciled with this body. Or, I was. But, now you’re here and I’m just thinking of all the things I used to want for myself, and trying to see which of them still fit. Which of them are possible.”

“It’s all possible, Steve. I promise. Have you thought about chastity at all? To keep you small?” 

He shakes his head. “I’ll look it up,” he says, unsure.

“It’s just a thought. Don’t know if they did it back then. We can look it up and talk about it later. We have time,” he says, and tilts his face up so Steve will kiss him.

“What else would you want from me?” Steve asks, after a long kiss.

“I wasn’t saying I wanted that for you, babe. It was just a thought.”

Steve’s thigh muscle tightens and relaxes under his hand. Huh. “Maybe you should tell me what I can expect. The bare minimum you want to do.” Bucky asks, trying a different tactic.

“_Bare minimum_? You should tell me what you want. You’re the dominant. It’s _your_ will. I give. Remember?” he says, his frustration leaking through.

“Stevie. I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you’re not being as helpful as you could be. It’s like pulling teeth, sweetheart. If you feel like you need to be quite demanding, I am more than happy to do that.”

Steve lifts his head, looks at Bucky. Calculating. Bucky shakes his head, warningly. “I don’t want to punish you, today. You being naughty and provoking me won’t be fun, it won’t be cute. I won’t fuck you afterwards.”

“I wasn’t going to, daddy,” Steve says, and it’s a total lie. Bucky lets it go.

“I suppose I’m pretty heavily invested in you being available for sex. If there’s something that’s time intensive, and a demand upon your physical person that you do just for me, then it’s probably enemas,” he says, trying to get them back on track. He kisses Steve, slips his fingers down to cup his breast. Steve squirms, beautifully.

“Look at you. My little princess.”

Steve’s breath hitches. “Daddy?” he asks, reaching for Bucky’s cock because he’s insatiable. “Wait a bit, baby.”

“Okay. I can do that, daddy,” he says, and tucks his head against Bucky’s shoulder. He relaxes a little more under Bucky’s hand, happy about Bucky’s expectation..

“Okay, so let’s see. You’ll clean and cook for us, you’ll keep yourself hairless and you’ll do a daily enema so you’re ready when daddy needs you.” Steve has fingers on Bucky’s collarbone, gliding along it. More content than he was. “Stand up. I want to go to my bag,” Bucky says, and Steve gets up.

Bucky gets one of the purchases he quickly made on the way home. He sits back down, Steve goes back to his lap and Bucky has him open the package in front of him.

Steve opens it up, frowns, holding the tiny scraps of hot pink fabric up and looking them curiously.

“I feel like I should know what I’m looking at.”

“This one is a bra,” he says, and holds it up to Steve’s chest.

“It isn’t covering anything,” he says.

‘Welcome to the future. It’s basically designed so that I an have _access_ to you whenever I want. It’s not really made for you, sweetheart.”

“God, that’s fucking sexy,” Steve says, touching it, clearly wanting to put it on. Steve picks up the other scrap of fabric. He gives Bucky a little look from under his lashes. “But, what’s this part for?”

Bucky plucks it from his fingers, reorients it. “Front. Back. They’re backless panties. With a bow.”

“I wouldn’t be covered at all,” Steve says as he takes the underpants, smoothing them out on his thigh. Bucky sees him swallow hard.

“Like I said, it’s not for you, but for me. It isn’t supposed to be comfortable, it’s likely to be inconvenient and it may not be the sort of pretty you had in mind.”

“You bought this, daddy? Because you thought I’d look pretty in it?”

“I did. I know you’ll look pretty in it. Be warned, sweetheart. If you look too good then you’ll always be wearing little things like this for me.”

Steve presses closer. “That’s what I want.”

“Good. I do, too. You want to put it on for me?” Steve picks them up and disappears to the bedroom.

When he comes back out, his whole posture is different. He’s blushing and his cock is half-hard already. Steve brushes a hand over the front of the panties. “Fucking hell. You’re going to need to come over here now, Steve,” he says, adjusting himself as he starts to get hard. Steve grins in pleasure and does a little turn, unprompted, casting a glance over his shoulder at Bucky.

“Well, I’m not sure we’ll ever make it out of the house if you look like this all the time.”

“Daddy,” he says, almost a sigh, blushing and looking down again.

Bucky can’t help but smile at him. “I don’t know if this shy thing is a gimmick or not, but if it is, keep it.”

Steve is close enough now that he smacks Bucky on the arm.

“Ow!”

Steve looks horrified.

“No, I’m kidding. Don’t worry.” He pulls Steve back onto his lap, looking at him, touching his chest and feeling him up, everywhere except his cock and his hole.

Steve chews on his lip. “No, it’s not a gimmick. Or an act. I like it… a lot. I like you buying me things and I like wearing them and knowing you appreciate them. It’s just that sometimes it’s hard to maintain the idea that it looks as good as I want it to. I can get a bit in my own head.”

He takes Steve’s hand in his, kisses his knuckles. “So, would it be easier if I encouraged you to do it?”

Steve exhales. “You could even… order me to, if you wanted.” He ducks his face into Bucky’s chest. The outfit has put him straight into a submissive head space and he’s so much more content than he was five minutes ago. He’s letting all of his weight rest on Bucky and he’s petting himself slowly through the silk as he kisses Bucky’s face and neck.

“Let’s go to the couch, doll.” Steve looks at Bucky’s cock, reaching for him as Bucky sits down.

“Not yet, sweetheart. How about you go to the floor for a little bit? Let me get you a pillow.”He puts a pillow on the floor and Steve goes down easily. He presses Steve’s head to his thigh, hand on his cheek and then pushes a finger into his mouth. “There you go, sweetheart. Do you like being at daddy’s feet?”

There’s a hard suck on his finger, the exhale against his fingers is uneven. Steve is thumbing the head of his cock through the panties. “Love it. I love you telling me what to do. I want so much of it you’ll probably get bored or annoyed.”

“No. That’s the last thing I’m worried about. I think it only becomes more intense. I’m excited to see how much you’re willing to give me.”

“I’m excited to give it to you,” he whispers. “I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t do. Except, I wouldn’t want to share you.”

“I don’t want to share you either, baby. But, I’m sure there are _some_ other things you wouldn’t want to do.” He leaves it there, giving Steve a chance to answer. He pets Steve’s hair gently, admiring it and him, the line of his profile, how he looks as his eyes slide shut in pleasure.

“Maybe no blood or scat play,” he says, like he’s reading it off a checklist. Steve puts his hand on his thigh, leaving his cock alone for a moment.

“I’ll want to give you enemas sometimes,” Bucky says.

Steve tries to lift his head and Bucky presses down so Steve stays where he is.

“Daddy, that’s gross.” His voice changed as he said it. Horrified, made small. Which is kind of the point.

“But, it’s a sign of how much I control you. It doesn’t get more intimate than that. And just think what a good boy you’d be if you let me. When you don’t like it.”

“I want to be your good boy.”

“You _are_ my good boy. What you want, my love, are chances to prove it.”

Steve wraps his arms around Bucky’s leg, clutching him closer. “That’s true.” Bucky continues to pet his hair while Steve’s brow is creased in thought. “Then maybe there’s nothing I won’t do if you really want it.”

Bucky’s hand stills. The way Steve says it, so simply and trustingly makes Bucky want to be worthy of it. It’s also scary. Being good enough for Steve Rogers is no small task. “How does that make you feel?”

“Good?”

“You can find it scary. Or not want that. You don’t have to agree with everything.”

“I know.” He turns his head, rubs his nose against Bucky’s knee like a cat. He looks up at Bucky, almost smirking. “I said want to. I’m not going to agree with everything.”

“Steve, I’m glad you won’t. If I want something and it’s difficult or it scares you, upsets you, whatever, you can tell me. I won’t always be right. I don’t want to fuck it up.”

Steve nuzzles closer. “I understand. I liked what we just did, a lot. It was difficult at first. I wasn’t sure I could get through it. And you were fucking me so hard, daddy. I could feel the force of you wanting me to give in. It felt like… like I was looking for the path to surrender. To _really_, give in. Before that, I thought I was giving in. I wasn’t, though. Not really. It’s like having a coffee here and an espresso in Italy. They’re similar but not the same thing. But, if you’d asked me at the start, I would have pretty vehemently objected. I trust you. And, if you start doubting yourself, then I’m going to have to punish you,” Steve says, imitating Bucky’s dom voice.

“Yes, sir,” Bucky murmurs, tightening his hand his Steve’s hair, playfully.

He pets Steve gently, fascinated and determined to understand his boy and give him what he needs. “Hmm. I felt it when you gave in. Surrendered. I came.”

“So, it wasn’t bad? Even though it was messy?”

“Yeah, because I’ve really objected to the mess,” he says, sarcastically. “No, it’s going to be prime jerk off material when you’re away on missions. If you’re fishing for compliments, you should know that I’ve never come so hard in my life. I’ve never felt that connection with someone, either. To know when you gave in and feel it through you like that. It was beautiful.”

Steve burrows ever closer, basically in his groin now, as he hums in pleased agreement. “I think it was better than coming. And, I haven’t dropped a lot, but that was the best one I ever had. Liked knowing what was going on. How you checked on me and fucked me until I was okay with you leaving me. You took care of me so well.” He inhales, nose pushing into the towel. “Fuck, you’ve got to let me blow you. I can’t stand it anymore.”

“Use your mouth to get the towel out of the way.”

Steve does, quick and eager, a pleased sigh vibrating against Bucky’s cock as he tells Steve that he’s a very good boy.


	12. Chapter 12

By the time the week is over, Bucky knows a few things for sure. In no particular order, his baby is sweet, romantic and a bit of an awkward dork. He’s an absolute slut for being called pretty and if he could live with Bucky’s dick in his ass, he would.

Secondly, his baby always drops after he comes. Or, at least, he wants to. There’ve been a couple of times where Steve has come and for one reason or another they’ve not had time for him to do a proper, several hour long drop (which is what he seems to need and Bucky’s beginning to wonder if it’s the serum or just part of his physiology) and he’s not only grumpy and off, he becomes insecure and the effort required to get him back down into a good head space is a little concerning.

It happens right after they move to Bucky’s. The plan was to get food and stay in. But, they had a bit of time to kill before dinner and Bucky made the mistake of having Steve come over to the couch with a bit of lemon infused oil so he could work on his glands. They have to start somewhere.

“I’ve seen you cook with it.”

“So?”

“Shouldn’t there be a special massage oil?”

“Go get a towel. Take off your clothes and come back. Over my lap.”

Steve goes, not complaining but his chin is raised mutinously high. He hates even talking about his claiming glands. The idea of Bucky massaging the area, has his boy in a bit of a state.

Steve comes back, naked and cock soft, unhappy about what’s to come. “Look how small you are, sweetheart.”

“It’s not on purpose,” he says, annoyed. He throws the towel to Bucky and it hits him in the face.

“Wow. Considering you’re about to be at my mercy with your most vulnerable bits, I’d think you’d be sweeter to me.”

Steve’s cheeks burn in humiliation. He straddles Bucky unhappily once Bucky has the towel positioned for him, so he can release without causing a laundry incident.

His baby is thinking very hard. “Daddy. You won’t try to make me release from my claiming glands will you?”

“Sweetheart. I know you’re anxious. I’m going to be gentle. It does me no good to make this something you dread even more. I think you might release if I get close to them, so this is just in case.”

“What if I don’t want it?” he asks, putting a hand on Bucky’s and stopping him from getting oil on his fingers. “If I don’t want to release, promise me you won’t make me,” he says, no trace of his submissiveness in his tone or body language.

“If you say yellow, I’ll stop touching you immediately and we’ll re-evaluate,” he says.

Steve frowns. “You say we, but you mean you.”

“Yes, I do. But, your opinion is obviously necessary.”

“What if I say red?”

“What should happen if you say red?” Bucky asks.

“You should stop completely and see if I need you, give me what I_ actually_ need.” 

“Steve. Do you think you can go on with your glands being left alone?” Steve’s jaw clenches unhappily. He tries to push the towel aside and unzip Bucky’s pants. “Daddy, can I blow you? Just a little? I need your cock. Just a little suck,” he says, because he knows that talk always gets Bucky going.

“Hands behind your back or playing with your hole. Those are your options.”

Steve puts his hands behind his back and glares at him. Bucky gets oil on his fingers, just a little, on the tips and looks at Steve’s neck. “I like to kiss you and your skin. If I can get my mouth on your neck I will. Be gentle with you that way. But, I don’t want weird oil in my mouth or yours. This is inoffensive and we cook with it so it doesn’t have weird shit in it. Come on, kiss daddy and let’s sort you out a little, baby.”

****

Steve clenches his hands tighter behind his back. He wants to cry. But it would be a full blown tantrum and he’s a grown man who is being utterly ridiculous. He’d be mortified for _life_ if he gave in to how much he’s dreading this.

Bucky wasn’t even distracted by a blow job. What’s the world coming to? He leans forward, presses his lips to Bucky’s. He can’t relax.

“Good boy,” Bucky whispers. “I know it’s difficult. I’m proud of you, baby. So sweet. Trusting me. I’m gonna touch you now.”

Fingers touch his jaw and he whimpers. “Easy, Stevie. Daddy has you.” His voice is rough. Steve puts his hand on Bucky’s crotch, feeling blindly. He’s hard as anything, getting off on Steve’s misery.

“Daddy,” he whispers, betrayed and also having a rather unreasonable need to be fucked and reminded who he belongs to. That it’s worth it, maybe. Daddy wants him happy and unhappy, because he just wants Steve all the time. “I don’t think I can do this, right now. I need you.”

“Stevie,” he admonishes. “Behind your back.”

Steve puts his hands behind his back. Bucky touches, just touches right under his jaw. There’s no rubbing or anything. He’s just getting Steve used to being touched. Steve starts to tremble and Bucky kisses him.

Time passes as Steve gets kissed, Bucky’s fingers still. When Steve swallows the fingers rise and fall and he whimpers. Bucky hushes him again. “I’m gonna move now, sweetheart. Half an inch. Same thing. Just touch. No rubbing or pressing. You just need to get used do daddy.”

“Am I good?”

“You are.” The fingers move then and Steve breathes hard, tears filling his eyes. Bucky kisses him until he calms. Until he nods becausehe knows his daddy is waiting for him.

“Good. Fuck, Stevie. So proud of you. Same thing. Just a little bit down. That’s all. Nothing else.” It’s like a mantra.

“Cock, daddy? Please? Lemme drop.”

“I need you here with me, baby. So I know you’re okay. You have to stay with daddy.”

Steve’s dick isn’t even hard.

“You want to touch your hole? Just the outside? No glands, sweetheart.” Steve groans in frustration. Bucky tells him he’s going to move again and it’s hot. Fucking boiling under his skin because his daddy is close to being right on top of them.“Daddy. Daddy,” he whimpers, miserably.

His hand touches his cock anyway, tugging furiously. Bucky glares at him. “Stevie. Stop when you’re hard. Do you understand?” There’s a warning in his voice. Which is what he needs, hardening fast, leaking almost instantly.

No. He’s going to drop. He doesn’t even tell his daddy what he’s planning. He doesn’t want Bucky to stop him. It’s too much. He’s hard and he’s going to come.

“Steve. Stop. _Immediately_.”

He looks at his daddy’s beautiful face. How angry he is. Bucky’s going to fuck him so hard for this. Steve comes. It isn’t very good but he welcomes the drop. He’s sinking. He’s dumped off his daddy’s lap. Bucky forces him to his feet. Somehow he’s getting dressed and Bucky is half dragging him out of the apartment. By the time they get to the restaurant Steve is enraged. His drop ruined.

He can feel how angry Bucky is. “Want you to hold me,” Steve whispers.

Bucky gives him a look that says Steve should have thought about that beforehand. A long moment passes, Steve’s fear rising. And then Bucky opens his arms. Steve rushes into them, grabs him tight. “Everything has been so good, Steve. There had to be a bump. We’ll get it worked out.”

Which really pisses Steve off. Him coming because he wants to, isn’t a problem. Him coming because he wants to feel good, instead of awful, isn’t a problem. 

“You have to give too, Bucky.”

“Oh, shit,” Bucky grumbles, quietly.

“What does that mean?”

“I think this is going to be a shit show,” he says. Steve pushes away from Bucky. Doesn’t want to be so close to him anymore. They get the food. Bucky gets out his wallet.

“I can pay. I’m not dependent upon you,” Steve says. 

Bucky turns tohim. “Okay. Go ahead. Where’s your wallet?”

He doesn’t have it. Because he’d wanted to drop and had been dragged out against his will and hadn’t even dressed himself. He turns away, waits on the sidewalk, pissed off all to hell. This designation thing is bullshit. He doesn’t want it all the time. They need to find a way for him to come and have his own autonomy, at least a little.

“I don’t want you to _ever_ give me an enema,” he says, when Bucky comes out. Bucky hands him a bag of food. He doesn’t even respond. As if Steve is being a child.

“You don’t get to ignore me,” Steve growls.

“I’m not trying to ignore you. Well, I guess I am, a little. We just need to get home and we can having this conversation.”

“You fucked up my drop. All you ever talk about is how much I need it and need you, but that’s only when it’s convenient for you, huh? When you’re going to fuck me or want to use me?” 

“Working on your glands with you in a drop worries me.” He doesn’t say anything else. As if the rest of Steve’s arguments aren’t worth it.

“I’m going to go to medical and ask them. Maybe there’s something else that can be done. Your olive oil nonsense can’t be the best solution.”

Bucky barks out a laugh. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. But, you don’t know everything. Despite what you want me to believe. I should find out for myself.”

“Great. You do that. Ask on Monday. Or call tomorrow,” he says, beginning to sound frustrated. Which Steve has to admit, he kind of likes. Let them both be pissed off. Probably best to see what that’s like before this goes too far. “I have no desire to keep you ignorant.”

“I might go in.”

“No, you won’t.”

Steve grabs him by the arm, stopping him in front of their building. “I can’t stay here for a week. I’m going to go fucking insane,”he says, and he actually pulls at the neck of his sweater. “And how dare you call me ignorant.”

“Fucking hell. _Stevie._ This is all because you came and didn’t drop. You didn’t feel like this before. I’ll settle you as soon as we get home and you’ll be fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would be this bad. I wouldn’t have made you leave the house if I’d known.”

“What would you have done? Dressed me up like a slut again and been a pain in my ass?”

“Literally,” Bucky says, winking at him, unwilling to rise to the bait. Steve is about to hit him. His fist clenches and everything.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Bucky says, whistling low. He opens the door to his building and Steve storms up the stairs. Bucky opens the door to the apartment and Steve puts his food down on the table, gets plates and cups and silverware. He slams it all down on the table while Bucky is quiet. Fuck, there’s a crack in the plate.

Steve can see him out of the corner of his eye. Taking off his coat. Putting the food down. He’s so quiet and calm. He stands next to the table, waiting.

Steve exhales and shakes his head, feels nauseous and angry and like he wants to cry. He feels _bad_. Awful. He gets ice into the glass, the rumble of the ice maker upsettingly loud. And it’s cold in the cup. So cold. It sounds like when the Valkyrie hit the snow but quiet. He takes it to the table.

“Sweetheart. Can you just come to me and let me help you?” Bucky asks, gently. Palms open.

“I don’t need yourhelp. I’m not… not your _boy,_” and he wants to rip his own hair out at the loss. He _isn’t_ a boy. He doesn’t have a _daddy._ He doesn’t fit or have someone. He’s out of time. Unlovable but for the lie the serum made of him.

Steve’s going to eat like a normal person. He’s going to shove food down his throat if it kills him. He _always_ gets up. He can get up again and keep his shit together. He doesn’t need Bucky. Fuck all of this. Steve reaches across the table for a carton of food.

Bucky’s hand lands over his. He’s looming over Steve and Steve shivers with reaction. “You ask me,” Bucky orders, so much fucking dominance in those three words and intent upon Steve that he can’t breathe.His other hand grabs Steve by the chin, gripping his jaw in a possessive way. “Or _else_.”

Steve shoves away from him and his heart’s beating fast. He’s panting and trembling and the urge to swipe the containers off the table is overwhelming. Just destroy everything.

“You can’t take me down,” Steve growls. Steve is a super-soldier. Bucky might be in a great shape, but he’s just a man. No one can take him. And that’s what he needs. He needs to belong and be owned and loved. But, it’s impossible. No one can _really _have him. He will always be alone because he’s too strong and too dominant. He’s always going to be misunderstood or not understood at all. “You said I was yours,” he yells, wanting to choke on the grief of his loneliness.

“I can take you any time I want to, Steve. You’ll let me. Stop this and come to daddy.”

How dare he. Be dismissive of him. Act like he knows him, like he’s Steve’s… _daddy_ and is going to swat him over the dinner table for misbehaving. “I need a few minutes to calm down. Go into the living room and I’ll tell you when you can come back in,” Steve demands, almost hysterically. Fuck his tits hurt. No, his pecs.

Bucky doesn’t move. Steve’s heart is still hammering and he can’t take it. He’s going to explode. Bucky slowly walks around the table, crowding Steve, getting closer and closer. The menace in his movements is intoxicating. He’s going to get fucked and bruised and taken apart if he doesn’t apologize right now.

It’s a lie. No one can have him. Not really. He doesn’t get to have a daddy. It’s all been bullshit he was desperate to believe. He’s cold inside. Still frozen from the ice. That’s where he belongs, really. All alone, with the decades passing, people loving and living their lives and he’s unchanging and lost.

Steve’s hand lashes out, knocking the rice container, intending to throw it, spill it all over the floor. Bucky reaches for him and Steve shoves him hard, stumbling in the process.

He catches himself on the island, panting. Bucky is against the wall, hand braced where he caught himself, the other extended defensively towards Steve.

Scared. His daddy is scared of him.

It’s really over now.

His legs feel shaky, there’s a strange weakness pouring through him. He wants to call him daddy and beg for forgiveness. He’s sorry. He didn’t mean any of it.

But, maybe it’s for the best, he thinks, aware that his thoughts are scattered and he’s not rational but he doesn’t know what to do and every negative thought feels like the truth. What’s it matter? It was all bullshit. Fuck all of this. He’s going to get his stuff and go back to his apartment and he’ll be okay.

He can do anything. He’s Steve Rogers. He gets the fuck back up again, it’s who he is. The ice in his chest calls him a liar.

“You’re not going to tell me what to do. You don’t, you _can’t_, _no one_ can make me do anything,” Steve says, and it’s supposed to be a statement of strength, of his will and autonomy, but it almost sounds like he’s pleading, begging to be shown that there’s at least one person who could put a leash on him, stop him and just keep him safe from his own impulses. 

“Stevie. You shoved me. Do you want to hurt me? Is that what you want, babydoll?” Bucky asks, and he comes closer, crowding in again.

Steve shakes his head in denial. He’d rather eat glass than hurt Bucky. He fucked up. It’s all over. “Don’t come closer. I’ll hurt you. I don’t deserve you. Take the out, Buck. Let me go.”

“I won’t let you go,” he says, sounding like he believes it enough that he can make Steve believe it too. “You’re _mine_. I’m yours. It’s done, baby. Now, tell daddy you’re sorry.”

His hands raise, land gently on Bucky’s chest. “You don’t want me. Not after what I did. Who I am.” Bucky’s hands slip past him, to the island, caging Steve in.

Bucky keeps staring at him, the eye contact too much. Steve glances down, just to see what he’s doing as he reaches for Bucky’s pants, trying to open them with fumbling fingers. “I’m— it was the stress of it all. Just let me go. You deserve a good submissive,” he chokes out, the loss of Bucky something he just can’t survive. 

“Are you still wet, boy? I’m going to breed you over _our_ dining room table. You’re going to lick up that rice and _apologize_ to daddy. And then I’m going to drop you and keep you down for as long as I want to. Until you come back to yourself. If you go down sweet and easy I’ll spit on your hole, help my boy.”

“I’m not…Bucky. I won’t. Move. Let me go.” He isn’t a boy. He can’t be bred, be forced to lick the table. He can’t call Bucky daddy intentionally. “It’sa lie. All of it.”

“You move me then, Steve. You’re so much stronger than I am anyway.” Bucky leans closer, licks the bottom of Steve’s lip and drags his lips along his jaw, biting his way to his ear, while Steve stands there, frozen in a strangely hopeful terror.

Bucky chuckles darkly, hands sliding under Steve’s shirt. He finds Steve’s glands, swollen and hot and presses hard. “I’ve seen you fight. Seen the way you punch and hit. How you don’t take shit from anyone. You’re practically looking for a fight. It radiates off of you. You can be dominant to everyone else, baby. But not for me. Not for your daddy. You’re my sweetheart, my sweet little princess, and I’m going to fuck you open right on this god damned table like you’re asking for and prove it to you.”

He opens his mouth to protest and whimpers instead.

“You’re about to release, I can feel it. You’re shaking like a leaf, baby. Did you want to fight me? Isn’t that what you said? All that bluster and growling? I’m taking you down, sweetheart. You’re losing right this moment. My good boy.”

“I—” he swallows hard. Bucky grinds harder into his pecs and his glands release. Steve offers his mouth for a kiss, sobbing as his pants get all wet.

“Oh, no you don’t. You were a _brat_, weren’t you? Naughty and rude. Let’s get you fixed up and then you can have a kiss,” he murmurs. He steps back, fists his hand in Steve’s shirt and pulls him to the table.

“I’m sorry, Sir.” he whispers, as his thighs hit the table.

“No. I’m your fucking _daddy_. No more ‘sir’ nonsense. _Always_ daddy. Do you understand?” he grabs Steve by the back of the neck, pressing on his claiming glands and Steve cries out, releases in a flood in his pants and collapses to the table in a wash of pain. Bucky lets him go. “Go down, lick up the rice you spilled when you were being naughty.”

Fucking hell, Steve thinks, shaking and hot everywhere. He’s going to do this. He’s actually bending over and putting his hands on the table, awkwardly trying to move around the containers.

“Wait.”

Steve halts, chest an inch from a container. He trembles. God, is he actually going to do _this_? Just lower himself down, squish the containers and get noodles all over his chest, smear them all over the table if that’s what it takes to follow orders? This isn’t right. No one should have this much power over someone, he thinks dimly. But, the outraged voice inside himself that got him into this mess in the first place is getting quieter and harder to hear. 

Bucky moves the food out of the way and Steve bites his lip, wanting to thank Bucky for the gesture, which is fucking ridiculous. “Here,” Bucky says, pointing at the rice grains a few inches away. “You’ll keep your forehead on the table while I fuck you. Legs spread.”

“Daddy,” he sobs, clumsily unbuttoning his pants to help. Bucky slips his hands into Steve’s pants, pulls them down his thighs, uses a foot to get them bunched around his ankles. A finger goes to Steve’s hole, presses inside him, testing him.

“Hold onto the edge of the table, sweetheart.”

Steve’s hands skate up the table and he grips the edges. “Lick it up,” Bucky orders. And Steve shakes his head. This is going to destroy him, reduce him to nothing. Show him just how much he isn’t himself when Bucky is near him. He licks the grains into his mouth, swallows, cleaning up the mess he made. Bucky spits on Steve’s hole as a reward, his cock-head rubbing the spit into his hole.

“Good boy. How does daddy like it? How do you take me so you can be my very best boy?”

“In…in _one_,” he whispers, brokenly. _Please, please fix it._

“Is that what you want, Stevie?”

“Daddy,” he whispers. “I’m sorry. Love you, daddy.”

“Better. Daddy loves you too, Stevie. I swear. Even when you’re naughty. Relax, baby, daddy is going to fuck you now.” He presses in and Steve goes to his tip toes and shudders as he’s breached. He’s not quite slick enough and he’s not opened up at all, his body tightened up like he’s never been fucked before in his life.

Even though he’s released, he’s tight everywhere, clenched up and anxious. It’s intense and burning and Bucky puts a hand under Steve, presses hard into Steve’s groin, pace slowing as he presses hard on the glands inside Steve.

He releases, feels it happen and his passage relaxes a bit more, that weight and heaviness of his body opening and readying, making him moan.

“There,” Bucky whispers, and continues pressing into Steve. Steve collapses down, weight on the table, limp as Bucky’s massive cock cores into him.

“Too big, daddy.”

“There’s my sweet boy. Are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “How much more, daddy?” Bucky stops. He’s panting, his cock is twitching inside Steve.

“A couple inches, baby. Can you do it?”

“You said I had to. In one. You’ve stopped.”

“I did say that. You also said some things. But, ultimately, you’re my good boy and I’m your daddy. And daddy’s take care of their boys, don’t they?”

He cries. Desperate fo it to be true. “Please, Bucky. Jesus, I’m so fucking sorry. I can’t believe I did that.”

“I’m going to ease out of you and get some slick for my best boy.”

He really isn’t wet enough inside, and Bucky is careful with him, but it’s still a lot and intense, he can’t think beyond the giant dick in his ass. When he’s out, Steve sobs again, missing him, confused, feeling bad and empty and hurting.

“Baby, you’re okay. Lay there for me. You’re okay.” Bucky kisses his cheek, ruffles his hair. He comes back with lube and a lube shooter, is pressing a syringe full into Steve in a matter of moments, rubbing circles into Steve’s back while he gives him a second to pull himself together.

“Neck hurts,” Steve says.

“From the table or is it your glands?”

“Swollen and hot. Aches.” Steve nods. “I was bad.”

“You were a little naughty. That’s okay. I love you, anyway. Steve, you need to hear me.”

He shakes his head. Two fingers slip inside him and he makes a sound, arches his back to let his daddy inside him. “Shh, easy, sweetheart,” he murmurs, pumping his fingers in and out, slow and careful. Bucky’s checking him. Which means he’s going to fuck him hard.

“Sore.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yes, daddy.” He clamps down on the fingers inside him and whimpers when Bucky moves, pressing deep even though Steve is squeezing out.

“A third finger or my cock?”

“Daddy’s cock,” he says, embarrassed.

Without hesitation, he feels Bucky’s cock back at his hole. He’s being breached and pressed into. He gasps and writhes, tries to relax as Bucky presses inside him. “Fuck, that’s _right_. My boy.”

“I’ll let you. Always let you,” Steve whispers, and then Bucky is seated and Steve’s passage is spasming and it hurts and his body is struggling to accommodate and relax. “Daddy.” Bucky rests against Steve’s back, reaches under him for Steve’s cock. He’s soft. “I’m sorry, daddy. I want to be hard for you.”

“This is lovely, baby. This just means you’re needing me to come inside you. Your body is mine right now. It knows this isn’t about you. It will hurt more because you’re not hard. It’s going to be intense. Your body isn’t responding on purpose, Steve.”

“Do you want it, daddy?” He swallows. “Will that make you happy?”

“I do, baby. I want everything from you. Do you want me to take you?” he asks, and he moves a little so Steve has some idea what he’s consenting to.

“Good boys do this?” he asks, carefully.

“That’s right. Good boys, especially when they’ve been naughty, usually like to submit this way. Sweetheart, ifyou say red I’ll stop. Do you want me to stop if you say the word stop too?”

“I don’t know,” he says, wanting to cry.

“Sweetheart, you feel bad for misbehaving. You want to holler and let me know how much it hurts, how good you’re being for me, making amends. So, you’ll probably want to say stop. And that’s okay. But you can also say red if it’s not going well and it isn’t making things better. You should feel light and happy when we’re done. Like you’ve atoned. If you don’t start feeling better as you cry and it hurts then you say red.”

“Okay. Yes, daddy.”

Bucky has been holding Steve’s cock in his hand but he lets it go now, lets it go and pulls halfway out of Steve’s ass and shoves back in, little thrusts as he reclaims territory. “Daddy,” he gasps. And fuck it hurts. It’s so much worse than normal without the arousal, with his body in this horrible state. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Am I good?”

“Yes, you are. So good.” He pulls out and shoves home and Steve sobs brokenly, feeling guilty for misbehaving. Bucky fucks him hard and deep, almost careless with it. His big hand settles on Steve’s head, keeping him pressed to the wood table and Steve begins to shake under him. His hole burns and he wishes it was over.

“Daddy. Hurts daddy.”

“Good boy. Fuck, I need you to take a little more for me, can you do that, sweetheart?”

“What, daddy? How? Hurts,” he gasps. There’s a grunt and a hard hand on his thigh. He presses bruises into Steve’s hip as he pounds into him, drapes himself over so Steve takes some of his weight.

“Promised I’d breed you, didn’t I? You’re going to release and milk my cock, aren’t you baby?”

He thinks about it, frantic and lost. He isn’t hard. He can’t. A hand is back under him, Bucky pulls out of him and drags Steve’s hips back aways and then presses back inside. Steve cries out at the burn of it and Bucky gives him a moment when he’s fully seated, panting against Steve’s skin. Bucky’s hand is back on Steve’s cock. He squeezes the head hard and then the shaft. He fondles Steve’s balls and his hips fuck into and out of Steve in little rocking movements.

“You feel so good, Steve. Feels better when you’re sore.”

He nods against the table. He knows. He just does. He’s biting back the sounds, letting his daddy have him, making amends. He grunts as the pressure on his balls grows, becomes very uncomfortable and verging on painful. It makes him clench up and that’s even worse. He does make a sound then, mouth closed but deep in his throat.

“There. _That_,” Bucky growls, and fucks harder, a little faster.

The hand doesn’t stop. He whimpers with every thrust.

“Good boy. Let me hear it.”

He gives up, gives _in_ and his mouth opens, high sounds coming from him as Bucky fucks him. He is fire and pain. 

“Tell me this isn’t perfect, Steve. You’re going to release now,” he says, and Bucky presses, makes him come so hard he sees flashes of light behind his eyes and every muscle inside of him locks up and stays that way as Bucky rubs him, keeping him on that edge so he’s coming and helpless.

He whimpers finally, has enough energy for just that and Bucky chuckles, low and dark, pleased. He keeps touching Steve, doesn’t let up and then Bucky groans like he’s dying and swears, fucks hard, humping him like he’s actually breeding him as he comes in Steve.

His fingers slip away from Steve’s glands and Steve shudders and gasps with high, breathy sounds, as he stops coming and can breathe again.

“Fucking amazing,” Bucky rasps. Steve is shaking, dragging in breaths, ears ringing.

“Daddy. Can’t leave me. Don’t.” He’ll fall apart if he goes. Even an inch. Bucky kisses his neck.

“We need to sit down, sweetheart.” He pulls out carefully, whispers how good and sweet Steve is, how lovely. Steve’s crying at the burning inside him and how empty he is. The emptiness, his guilt about earlier is much worse than any ache in his ass.

Bucky is finally out of him and he sits down in the closest chair, reaches for Steve. Steve slips off the table and Bucky tries to get most of his weight. Somehow gets Steve so he’s got one leg on each side of Bucky. He hunches into him, arms wrapped around his neck, face hidden in his skin as he breathes his daddy in.

“Here you go, sweetheart. Let’s get me back inside you. Keep daddy warm.”

Hands encourage him to raise. It’s so difficult, he’s so weak. His muscles are shaking. And then Bucky’s cock is at his hole and he’s so swollen and sore that the very idea of taking Bucky back inside him has him begging Bucky not to. “I can’t. Don’t. Please, no. Daddy. I’m sorry. I’m sorry— unnnhh, no, hmm, hmm,” he whimpers over and over, as Bucky fits his cock to Steve’s hole.

“Easy. You can do it. Slow and careful. You need it. Promise. Make daddy feel good. Keep daddy warm. Be my best boy. Who else could take me after what we just did?”

No one. That’s fucking who. He presses his lips to Bucky’s, hard and artless and Bucky groans into his mouth as Steve’s body opens and Bucky begins to slip back inside. It doesn’t go quick. He’s too swollen, his body protesting and overwhelmed.

“Am I good?” he rasps.

Bucky pets his hair and his back, encourages him and kisses away his tears as Steve gets himself onto Bucky’s cock again. Where he belongs. Where his daddy belongs. As soon as Bucky is in to the hilt, Steve goes boneless. Like all the angst and stress has been absorbed by Bucky or his cock or something strange.

“There. There you go. Is that better?”

It shouldn’t be, but it is. Everything is light. He is light. “You feel good, daddy.”

“Baby. You’re the one who feels good.” Bucky’s arms hold him close and tight. Steve is slick with sweat and he’s throbbing still, burning. His hole keeps twitching and clenching against Bucky’s cock and he can’t help but whimper when it does, little moments where he has to struggle and clutch his daddy closer.

“Hey,” Bucky says, softly. “You’re my boy. Always. You won’t drive me away, sweetheart.”

He nods, forehead pressed to Bucky’s. They stay like that for a long while. Until Bucky’s breathing picks up and his hands clench tight on Steve’s ass, shaking slightly. His cock swells in Steve, getting bigger and harder. He’d thought Bucky had stayed completely hard but apparently not because it’s growing and Bucky is about to come again. “Do you need me to move, daddy?”

“No. You’re perfect where you are. Fuck, you’re so tight and hot, sweetheart. You’re incredible.” Bucky’s head tilts up, eyes squeezed shut as he struggles to come or not come, Steve isn’t sure.

He kisses his daddy gently and Bucky’s mouth opens, lets Steve do as he wants while his cock twitches inside Steve.

“Fuck, I’m going to come again. Jesus, you destroy me, Steve.” It’s lazy and perfect and he runs his hands through Bucky’s hair and swallows his exhales, his own cock hard now.

“Will you come, daddy?”

“Stay still. Don’t move, baby.” Bucky exhales shakily and his hips begin to rock, tiny movements of his cock head’s sliding against Steve’s walls.

“Daddy. Daddy. Need you,” he says, suddenly desperate. He takes Bucky’s handfrom where it’s digging into his butt cheek and settles it on his cock. Bucky jacks him off gently, slowly and sweetly, trembling all the while.

Steve grunts, feels it building, the orgasm weird and in his stomach. It’s just _there_, without any build up or slow rise, he’s just ready to come and it explodes out of him.

Bucky comes too, crying out as he pulses inside Steve. Steve shakes and finally settles down, long minutes later. Bucky’s cock slips out of him and Steve feels the gush of semen leaving him, embarrassing him and leaving him feeling fragile.

“Please, don’t,” he whispers as Bucky’s fingers touch gently to Steve’s hole.

“Hush, princess. Daddy knows what you need, doesn’t he?” he asks, slipping two fingers into him. Steve is so sore but open. He leaves his fingers inside, letting Steve’s body pulse weakly and randomly around them, his muscles trying to tighten back up already. 

“Think about how you feel right now, sweetheart. There are times where the things that are best for you aren’t things you want. You have to trust daddy to guide you then. I know it isn’t easy. You’re so good, Steve. You try so hard and you always do your very best. You’re my sweet boy. It’s been a big day,you did such a good job for me and I want to get you to bed.”

Bucky reaches behind Steve, gets tissues and puts them under Steve, cleaning up the worst of the mess. “I think we need to get cleaned up. Don’t you?”

He wants to say no. Needs to stay filthy and well-used so he knows his daddy cares for him.“Good idea,” he says, instead and Bucky kisses him on the mouth and then helps him stand. He stifles a grunt. God, he hurts and he feels so good at the same time. Bucky is watching him covetously, smugly as Steve walks gingerly to the bathroom.

He gets the shower on and crowds Steve in. He’s hard again. “Daddy?” he asks, uncertain.

“No, sweetheart. Ignore it.”

How can he ignore it? His daddy is hard and Steve is his. Bucky cleans him and kisses him. Makes a hm of pleasure as he uses the attachment to gently spray water on Steve’s hole. Steve’s forehead is against the tile,his legs are spread and he’s tilting so he’s open like Bucky wants. The water runs over his hole and a little inside him since he’s so open, soothing and stinging at once. Bucky blows air on his skin and then presses his tongue against the abused flesh gently. He flicks his tongue and it’s too much so Bucky apologizes, strokes Steve’s cheek and then his balls while he lets his tongue sit gently in Steve’s open hole.

“Thank you, daddy.”

He stops with the barest kiss to Steve’s hole. “God, Steve. It’s beautiful. Should daddy come on your hole?”

“Yes, please.”

Steve hears him jerking off, Bucky moves in close behind him, aiming his cock at Steve’s hole, hand on Steve’s hip. He groans in pleasure, pants and swears and his hips jerk forward, the head bumping Steve’s swollen flesh. Steve cries out and looks back behind him, shaking.

“Sorry, baby.” But he isn’t sure that Bucky is sorry. Come splatters against his hole, hot and thick. Bucky strips his cock, milking the last bits of pleasure out of it while Steve’s hole tries to clench up. Bucky turns off the water.

“Daddy? I’m not clean.”

There’s come on his hole and his taint, dripping down the back of his balls and the inside of his thighs. “You’re as clean as I want you.”

Oh, fuck. It’s close to what he was thinking, that he wants to be filthy and Bucky is going to give that to him. His daddy knows what he needs. It’s overwhelming. “Gonna fall,” he says, and Bucky has him, turns him in his arms and takes his weight. “It was so much,” he confesses.

“Yeah, baby. It was a lot. You were naughty and now you’ve paid the price, haven’t you?”

He nods, knows it’s true.

“What are you?”

“I’m your very good boy,” he says, confidently, knowing it’s true. He smiles as he tilts his head up for a kiss.

“That’s right. That’s you.”

“I made you feel good,” he says.

“Steve. You made me feel amazing. No one could make me feel as good as you do.”

“I know, daddy.”

And the peace of knowing that’s true too makes him feel even lighter and warmer. He practically floats to bed.

At some point there’s food, Bucky feeding him, making him drink. He watches over Steve until he’s asleep and then goes back to the kitchen. He hears Bucky eating, the fork in the container, the sound of a cupboard closing. And then he’s in bed, cuddled up behind Steve, holding him close, as Steve drifts in subspace, letting the bad experience slip away.

“Go back to sleep, my good boy.”

So he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter did what I wanted it to do.


	13. Chapter 13

Bucky’s alarm goes off and Steve is the one who smacks it quiet. “Holy hell,” Steve says, hand sliding down to feel his hole.

“How are you, baby?”

“Sore.” He considers more. “Amazing. Feel so good. But, I don’t want to go back to work,” he murmurs, rolling closer. Bucky is hard and Steve slides a hand down, wanting to take care of him. Bucky raises a brow and Steve shoves him to his back, looms over him and kisses him. “What should I do, daddy?”

“I think that’s up to you, princess. Do you want me leaking out of you all day or do you want me to feed you?”

Steve looks down, runs his hands over Bucky’s chest, enjoying the muscles of his chest. He rubs his fingers over Bucky’s nipple and Bucky’s breath hitches, eyes closing and then opening. “Do you have a busy day?”

Steve shrugs. “I’m training in the morning, doing a fundraiser at lunch, and my schedule got blocked out for the afternoon by Fury but I don’t know why.”

Bucky frowns.

“Why? Does it matter?”

“Sort of. I think it would be good to try and keep you even for awhile. If you blow me, you won’t stay submissive for nearly as long as you would if I fucked you.”

Steve blushes. “What do you want?” He asks, wanting to know what’s wanted, instead of what’s best.

“Sweetheart, I’ll choose your ass almost every time,” he says, like it’s no contest. “Lift up a little. Daddy needs to know how sore you are.”

“Bucky,” he whispers, embarrassed, and he gets pushed down to the bed. Bucky is over him, pushing his thighs wide and apart. He bends down and licks Steve’s hole.

Steve makes a sound, thighs clenching and relaxing.

“Hold your knees,” He orders.

Tears come to his eyes and his cock is hard, balls full. Bucky cups them inhis hand, gives Steve’s shaft a quick stroke and then reaches to the table, grabs lube, puts some on his fingers and is back peering at Steve’s hole while Steve is still recovering from the lick and the casual manhandling. One finger pets the rim of his hole.

“How do you feel?”

“A little sore, but okay.”

Bucky presses a finger gently inside him and looks to Steve’s face. “Sore, but it’s not bad,” he says, even as tears come to his eyes.

“Why the tears, baby?”

“I don’t know.” And he doesn’t. It isn’t that he’s all that sore or anything. He’s just overwhelmed and feels a bit lost. “I don’t want to go back to work. I want to stay here with you in our bed. I want to watch the second season of Derry Girls and have you feed me sushi. And then I want you to do that thing you did before where you tied me to the bed and ate me out until I couldn’t move.”

“So, you want to do yesterday all over again?”

Steve presses closer to him. “I said the second season.” 

“I want that too, but the real world awaits.”

Steve closes his eyes, thinks about taking a shower. “Come here, sweetheart. I think you should try having a little suck and see what that does for you.”

Steve goes eagerly, getting between Bucky’s legs, sucking on his cock, trying to take him deep. “No, Stevie. This is for you. So you feel grounded and safe. You’re not trying to make me come. You’re just to enjoy yourself. Hold it in your mouth, nurse it if you want. Whatever makes you content. We have a bit of time.”

He relaxes his jaw and closes his eyes, rests his forehead on the crease of Bucky’s thigh, the head of Bucky’s cock in his mouth. A dribble of pre-come fills his mouth and Bucky puts his hand in Steve’s hair, pets him gently.

He pulls off and gets even more comfortable. Arms draped over Bucky’s middle, the head back in his mouth and he goes to child’s pose, legs spread so his balls are on the mattress and his cock is hanging, heavy and neglected. 

Steve moans at how good it is. Bucky is here, in his mouth and his nose, under his hands. This was exactly what he needed. Steve drifts, gets warm and glowing again, can hear his heart beating through his body, and he wishes Bucky could be in his ass and his mouth at the same time. A bizarre need to thank Bucky for this, for knowing what Steve needs and giving it to him, makes him begin to bob his head. He fondles Bucky’s balls gently.

He looks up at Bucky. Sees him open his eyes and look adoringly down at Steve. The hand in his hair tightens and releases. Steve sucks, up and down, letting it be rhythmic and take over every part of his attention. The weight and heat of his daddy, the bitterness of the come that slips onto his tongue, the growing heaviness in Bucky’s balls. He comes without warning, gentle and easy as a wave, flooding Steve’s mouth and Steve swallows him down, happy and content.

Bucky gets out of the bed and gives Steve a kiss as he pulls him up. He looks him over, staring into his eyes for a moment. “You’re not coming this morning, sweetheart.”

Steve’s dick is hard and leaking. “D-daddy?” he asks, feeling needy and uncertain.

Bucky cups his balls protectively. “I want you to think about what I’ve chosen foryou. That I wanted you to ache for me and want me. You’ll think about me all day, won’t you?”

“I’d think about you anyway?”

Bucky chuckles. “Not like you will with a bit of denial. I promise you this is best for you. You’ll keep this headspace of being calm and mine for longer. You can text me or call me, come see me if it’s distracting or bothersome as the day wears on.”

“What will you do?” he asks, touching Bucky’s arms restlessly. The reality that he’s not getting relief and is going to stay like this is beginning to sink in.

“Kiss you. Tell you how lovely you are. Maybe take you out and check on you. Pet you.”

“What about…will you let me come?”

He kisses Steve gently on the nose. “I don’t think so. You can try to persuade me, if you want.”

“How?” he asks, thinking he already knows.

“Blow me, bend over for me. Even a hand job if you get your tits out.”

“And then you’d…let me, daddy?” Steve is moving closer, pressing his erection against Bucky’s hip gently. He kisses Bucky’s neck, breathing him in, wanting to touch him all over.

“No, but it would make me feel good. It would let me know how much you care.”

Steve bites his lip, feels himself sinking into Bucky, resting his weight on him. Bucky puts arms around him, holds him like he’d stand there forever if that’s what Steve needed. “But, what about what I need?”

“I’m always thinking about what you need,” Bucky says.

“But, I need to come,” he whispers. He presses closer, puts a hand on himself, swiping over the head.

“Naughty boy. Take that hand off.” Steve lifts his hand away, slightly surprised he’s giving in. He both wants to obey and doesn’t. He wants Bucky to be happy with him, but he hurts. “Daddy,” he says, blinking tears.

“There you are. Getting so sweet and soft for me. That’s right. You’re just a sweet boy, aren’t you? Calm and good for daddy.” He kisses Steve on the mouth, holds his head where he wants it and shoves his tongue into Steve’s mouth in a way Steve isn’t all that sure he should like, but it makes his knees go soft and he’s fit to burst.

“You can’t leave me like this.”

“I have to go to work. You do too. It can wait. And it will remind you of me. You’re very good, Steve. You can do this.”

As a matter of fact, he isn’t. He’s pretty sure none of those words; calm, sweet, good, are ones he’d ever apply to himself. “No, I’m not.”

“Do you want to be? Not for everyone. For _me_?” Steve thinks about it even though he knows the answer.

“Yes, daddy. But I… it’s going to be difficult. Wanting you all the time and pleasing you and not… not _coming_. What’s the point if you’re not even there to see it or know?”

“You are very strong and very brave and very good. So, you will come to me and you will tell me. You’ll show me how difficult it is for you and we’ll be in it together. Trust me, Steve.”

“I have to think about it,” he says.

“Sweetheart.” Bucky is holding onto his hand. Steve could pull away so easily but he doesn’t want to leave Bucky, not even for a minute. “It sounds difficult but it will bring us closer together. And if it’s too difficult for you then we’ll figure it out,” he says, but he doesn’t sound happy that he’s added that last bit.

“I’d come?”

“Stevie, it’s our first day back at work—”

“Which is why you _shouldn’t_ do this to me today,” Steve says, interrupting him.

“Which is why it _has_ to be today. You know how you feel when I’m happy with you?”

“Yes.” He feels safe and loved and good. He’d actually giggled yesterday and Bucky had given him the biggest kiss… and a really good blowjob. Yeah, that was good.

“And you know how you feel when you get the chance to prove yourself to me?”

He does. He nods. It’s beginning to make sense, but he isn’t happy about it. 

“I’m going to spend the day thinking about you, my poor boy who needs his daddy, and is being so strong and good, and you get to be safe and content knowing you’re pleasing me when it’s difficult. And, that I’m there for you at any moment if it becomes too difficult. Trust me.” 

***

By the time Steve takes a shower and gets dressed, has breakfast and has had an hour without Bucky around, he’s okay again. There’s a throbbing in his balls and his cock is half-hard but it’s manageable. And he feels so good and content overall that it’s relatively easy to ignore.

And, actually, it’s nice to go back to work. He winds up chatting to people and hearing about weekend activities, even makes a few notes on places and restaurants he and Bucky should go too. 

Everyone comments that he’s in a good mood. People smile at him and make eye contact and it’s fine. He doesn’t feel like they want things from him or it’s a burden. He doesn’t feel like everything is a lie and he’d be better off in the ice.He laughs at things people say and it must be so unusual because people turn and look surprised when they see him.

He does his sparring and training and then showers, enjoys the water on his body. He soaps his chest and plays with his pecs, fondles his balls and finds himself stroking his cock, and then he’s hard and he’s not supposed to come so he stops. It’s all so frustrating.

He gets himself dressed and goes back to his office, wanting to see Bucky but a little worried at what he’d do if he did. He calls him instead.

“Hi sweetheart,” Bucky says, as soon as he picks up the phone.

“Oh. Hi,” he says, swallowing back the ‘hi daddy’ that had wanted to pour out of his mouth.

“How are you? Did the sparring go well?”

“Yes, sir,” he says, the sound of Bucky’s voice arousing him so much he has to squeeze the head of his cock.

“Did you take a shower?” he asks, and Steve hates that he’s this transparent.

“Yes, sir.”

“Did you touch yourself?” he asks, softly.

“Yes, sir.”

“Did you come?” His voice is so low and warm. Protective.

“No, sir.” 

“Good boy.” Steve closes his eyes. The ‘good boy’ sinking into his bones. “I’ve been thinking about you, baby.”

“You have?”

“I have. How soft your lips are and the sounds you make. How much I want to cuddle you on the couch.”

“Daddy. _Please_.”

“Please what, princess? What do you need?”

“I need you,” he confesses, aroused and shivery.

“Then come see me. I don’t have a meeting for another 45 minutes.”

Steve puts the phone down and leaves his office, feels his face getting pinker and pinker as he goes to Bucky’s office, certain everyone must know that he’s going to see his dominant. He steps inside and closes the door. Locks it. Bucky leans against his desk, has been waiting for him. He looks Steve up and down like he’s going to devour him.

“Come here, Steve.”

Steve goes to him and Bucky stands, shifts them so Steve is sitting on the desk and Bucky is between his thighs.

God, Bucky is so beautiful and his dominance is like an electrical field around him, making Steve’s skin spark and tingle. “Daddy,” he says, desperate and overwhelmed. This is exactly where he’s supposed to be, he thinks as he presses kisses to Bucky’s face and touches him all over.

“Let’s see you, baby,” he finally murmurs, kissing Steve hungrily and undoing his pants. Bucky parts the fabric and pulls back to look, sees the giant wet spot on Steve’s underwear. It’s embarrassing.

“Oh, Stevie. Look at you.” Fingers pet the damp fabric and his hard cock underneath. “Think we need to take you out, don’t we?”

“Please, daddy.” And, fuck, what a relief.

Bucky makes a small sympathetic sound in his throat and pulls Steve to his feet, pushes his pants down to mid-thigh and cups his cock in his hand. Bucky bends down, kisses the head, licks him for a long, perfect moment and rises back up. “Do you hurt?”

“So much, daddy.” And it is. He doesn’t think he can endure it. He’s so red, and Bucky’s mouth has made it even worse.

“I can see that. I’m sorry it’s so difficult. How often did you usually come on a work day?” he asks, and holds the shaft, rubs his thumb under the head back and forth. It’s just barely on the side of good, verging on too intense. He breathes through it and tries to enjoy it, lets his hips twitch up into Bucky’s grip.

Steve’s hands are on the desk and he keeps them there while Bucky touches him. “I need to come at least twice a day,” he says, pleased Bucky is taking this seriously. “Ever since the serum it’s been twice, usually more.”

“Hence why you’re leaking so much.”

“Yes, daddy,” he says, and leans forward, offering his mouth. His arms go around Bucky’s neck and Bucky kisses him hungrily. Steve rocks into his fist, eager and happy. “Daddy, I can come now. Please?”

The touch loosens, Bucky pulls back to look at his mouth. “Turn around, sweetheart. Let’s get you fixed up so you can have a good afternoon.”

“Thank fuck,” he says, and turns around, bends over the desk and spreads his legs, easy as anything.

“God, what a sight.” Bucky groans as he says it, and then he goes to get a few things and comes back. Lube gets set down beside him. Bucky tells him to stand up move close to the desk. He gets Steve’s balls over the desk, on a towel, his leaking cock dripping onto the towel before Bucky even has lube on his fingers. “Bear down, baby,” he orders and Bucky pushes a finger into him. Steve can’t help but push back.

“Two, daddy.”

Bucky pushes two into him, finds Steve’s glands and rubs at them. It’s good, so good, even though it’s going to make him frustrated as soon as he’s finished emptying his balls. Something in his ass throbs, he clenches down tight against the fingers and then his body relaxes and he drools out so much come onto the towel.

“Good boy. Up you go,” he says, and he goes to the sink in the corner of his office and washes up. Steve is confused. Why did it sound like that was it?

Bucky comes back over to him, cleans his cock with the towel, strips his still hard cock once for any remaining drops and uses a wet wipe on him. “Pants up. Back to work.”

He leaves in a daze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not overjoyed about this chapter but i can't stand to look at it anymore. I've had some plot issues going forward and am definitely at a point of trying to figure out if the story is wrapping up or not. It means I've had a couple of false starts as i've tried out a few different things and now I'm a bit turned around. Hence the Destiel story that got posted. I just needed to think about something else. I'm not sure it's helped.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! I wouldn't have ended the story without the gland situation being resolved, so don't worry! My struggle is over an action plot I was/am contemplating. It may come to nothing as external plots aren't usually my thing. 
> 
> The only reason this chapter is here is because of Bumble's comment re Tony. I hope it's funny. I wrote it this morning and thought about waiting for a bit to let it settle but am really so grateful to all of you that I'm just going to post it and hope!

It takes a few hours for Steve to really process just how fobbed off he was. He didn’t come. Bucky denied him. And Steve put up with it. What he got was the sexual equivalent to an oil change. Sure the touching and sweetness around it was all well and good, but he didn’t get the orgasm he needed. Wanted. Considering he’s still hard, he thinks need is an appropriate way to describe it. 

The idea of this becoming his new normal, having to be dependent upon Bucky for release in the afternoon, fitted in between meetings, and then sent back to work with a hard dick and empty balls is not going to work. Being milked like a cow or something.

Bucky didn’t even come. Didn’t need to use Steve, just serviced Steve like Steve was the one who was dominant. Which doesn’t actually make sense since Steve was the one bent over and vulnerable. It wasn’t like Steve had control over the situation like a dominant would. But, what they did was _for_ Steve, not for Bucky.

Satisfaction came from pleasing his daddy. No way could that have pleased Bucky. Bucky had said that they would be in it together, Steve’s denial was for the both of them. That was crap. And, if Bucky doesn’t have time for him then he should just say so.

And that’s fine. They both have things to do. They can’t just take time everyday to have sex and let Steve drop.

It’s weird to think that only days ago he didn’t need Bucky. Wasn’t dependent upon him and satisfied by him. It wasn’t better before. God knows it wasn’t. The Valkyrie is proof of that.

He’d had limited sexual experience before the serum, and it hadn’t been great. Then he’d had another few fumbles into sex after the serum and that had been even more dispiriting. He’d felt broken and like no one fit him. Maybe it was just that his person was 70 years away.

That thought fills him with joy, shoves back the insecurities a little bit.

“The Captain is smiling, call a news conference,” Tony says, coming into the room. Steve hides his expression. The Widow is with him and she’s watching Steve get his expression together with a curious and rather unimpressed coolness.

Steve isn’t sure that he likes her, but in some odd way he kind of understands her. Her life is a deception and the real her seems to fit in where it can. She’s someone else who’s lived their life on lockdown.

Clint wanders into the room then and makes a beeline for Steve. “He should be smiling. Congrats. Phil told me.”

“Oh. Thank you,” he says, unsure how he feels about that. He’d met with Fury, who’d basically said his designation wasn’t going to be able to be kept a secret, but that a general announcement wouldn’t be made, either. There were a few people Fury thought should know and so here they were.

Tony’s gaze sharpened. “What are we congratulating the Captain for? Posthumous boy scout achievement award finally come through?”

Clint gives Steve a look. Steve nods. He doesn’t care if Clint tells Tony. Someone is going to in the next few minutes and he doesn’t really want to, so what the hell?

Clint smirks. “Tony, how goes your pursuit of the Sargent?”

Tony snorts. “I’m not _pursuing_ him, I was just curious. Tempted. I look at the long line of my conquests and a dominant man would fill a certain…space.”

“Your ass?” Natasha supplies quietly. Her gaze goes to Steve. He thinks she winks at him.

“I wasn’t trying to be subtle. It’s a _double entendre_,” he says, slowly, to Steve. Like Steve is an idiot. Before Steve can say anything Tony says, “Wait! Let me guess. You’re going to tell me you understood that reference?”

Clint bumps his elbow against Steve’s arm. “Tony has no designation but has taken a shine to Sargent Barnes. You know, the head of Designational Resources? I’m sure you met him,” he says, practically giggling. “Barnes doesn’t seem to be interested in Tony’s overtures.”

“I think you missed your chance, Tony,” Natasha says, knowing gaze on Steve. “Rumor has it he’s taken a submissive.”

Tony waves a hand. “So he goes on the list of ‘relationships to wait out’. I’m sure it won’t take all that long.” Clint gasps and takes out his phone, texting madly before putting it away.

Natasha says, “I’ve heard they’re Compatible. I think you’re going to have to give up all together.”

Tony looks shocked. Even horrified. “You’re _kidding_? How do you know? How good is this intel? Where’s Fury? I need to know.”

“I think it’s true,” Clint says, sighing exaggeratedly. Tony pouts, actually pouts. He looks at Natasha and then Clint. Finally to Steve. His gaze narrows.

“The only reason you’re so quiet is because you haven’t met him,” he says, pointing at Steve. “You meet him and you’ll get it. He’s the kind of man one makes exceptions for. Although, _you_ probably wouldn’t. If anyone isn’t going to get it, it’s going to be Mr. Perfect. Not in the Boy Scout handbook. You’re in the future now, Steve. Gay marriage is legal. All types of love and debauchery is encouraged.”

Steve isn’t sure what to say. He knows Tony doesn’t like him and the feeling is mutual, but he wouldn’t want to mock Tony… even though Tony lives to mock him. They have to work together. “I’ve met him, Tony. And you should know I don’t have a problem with two men being together. In fact—”

Tony interrupts. “Good god. _Look_ at him. He can barely get the words out. The straight, white, dominant poster boy, dragged into the future, all your preconceived, small-minded beliefs challenged and tossed out. It’s gotta be tough.”

“Being this perceptive must be agonizing for you,” Steve says. It isn’t even worth his time.

That’s when Fury comes in. “Right. Did you get the announcement out of the way so we can get to the mission?”

“No. We were too busy torturing Tony. Did you know he’s had a hard-on for Barnes for like three years?” Clint says.

Fury cuts a glance to Steve and then back to Tony. It looks almost like his lips twitch in amusement. “Well, that does restore one’s faith in the universe, doesn’t it?”

“What? _What?_ Why?” Tony demands.

Fury looks at Steve, waiting for him to say something. He shrugs. Fury sighs. “Well, as everyone in this room but Tony seems to already know, the Captain has a submissive designation.”

“Interesting.” Tony looks at Steve like he’s never seen him before. “One door closes another opens,” he murmurs, lecherously. Does Tony actually think Steve would fuck him? That his submissiveness would make him give in despite his dislike of Tony? It’s offensive. It’s so exactly the reaction Steve didn’t want, that he’s instantly furious.

Tony is oblivious. His smile is sharp. He’s mentally undressing Steve as he slowly meanders around the room, like he isn’t suddenly desperate to try and hit on Steve. The door opens again and Bucky comes in. “Sorry. Held up.”

Clint’s mouth drops open. Natasha clasps her hands in front of her like it’s Christmas and swears softly in Russian. “Please, for the love of everything. Don’t ruin it. Just…. Let’s see what happens.”

Steve blushes.

“Sargent,” Tony says, suggestively. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

“Yes. Thank you,” Bucky says, awkwardly.

Tony shakes his head in loss and gives Steve a smile. “New opportunities, huh?”

They’re acting like children. What do they think is going to happen here? That Tony is actually going to make a pass at Steve while Bucky is standing there? In the few moments before he finds out Bucky and Steve are together? And then what? Maybe Bucky would punch Tony as he defends Steve’s honor?

That wouldn’t happen. Surely, it wouldn’t happen. Inappropriately (but almost instantly), Steve has a base and fervent desire to see it happen. For Bucky to publicly make it known that Steve is his and defend him or act out in jealousy.

And for him to punch Tony.

He definitely deserves it. God, that would be so fucking hot. Steve can’t even imagine how turned on he would be at Bucky’s primitive display of dominance. At the very least, he’d hope to get dragged out of here and be absolutely reamed in a closet or his office.

“Two minutes,” Steve says to Fury, blushing furiously. He’s kind of ashamed of himself. But, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Fury sighs.

“What am I missing?” Tony asks, but he’s not really interested anymore, too busy eyeing up Steve creepily. Always in pursuit of something new and shiny.

Bucky’s stopped near Fury, apparently indecisive about whether or not Steve would want him to go over and be next to him in some obvious display of their coupledom.

The door opens _again_. Phil comes in, practically panting at having run the whole way. His eyes widen. There’s a certain slow-moving-car-crash feeling to the whole situation. Steve knows for a fact Clint must have texted Phil to come watch the spectacle.

Bucky’s head tilts, his gaze narrows as he watches Tony slink closer to Steve.

Clint stage whispers to Phil, “It’s like that cartoon where the coyote wants to eat the sheep, and he _thinks_ he’s really clever, but the sheep dog is actually—”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Phil says, crossing his arms, watching in anticipation. Steve _should_ really say something. Put an end to this since it appears that everyone here wants to see Tony get rejected and potentially violently rebuffed.

Bucky blinks, looks at Steve and everyone watching. “You’re kidding? Is this a joke? I’m not going to do it. _Nothing_ is going to happen.”

“The fat lady hasn’t sung yet,” Phil mutters. “Ten bucks says you do.”

Tony is now next to Steve. He’s standing a little closer than he should and then he takes another step closer. Steve doesn’t look at him. He can feel Tony staring at him. “_Submissive_,” Tony says it like it’s a dirty word and the Holy Grail in one. “Give me a chance to apologize. Making assumptions like that. Really, I’m very sorry. How about a long weekend somewhere warm? We’ll start over.”

Steve’s heart is actually about to beat out of his chest. He has no desire to submit to Tony, _at all_, but it is really weird having all these people staring at them. And it is odd that Bucky isn’t doing anything. Shouldn’t he be doing something?

Steve stands straighter. He can deal with Tony. He doesn’t need Bucky to rescue him. Tony raises a hand like he might touch Steve’s face, maybe even his _neck_. Steve shifts his weight to the side, suddenly panicky. Not his neck. It’s all fine, but not his neck. He raises a hand protectively. Clumsy as that was the one thing he hadn’t expected.

Bucky growls, is just there next to Steve, shoving Tony away from Steve. Tony stumbles backwards into the conference table with a loud oof.

Bucky is against his side, ushering him towards the door. “I hate all of you. Two hours,” he says, voice rough and then they’re leaving.

“No one told me?” Tony squawks.

“I really thought he’d punch him,” Clint says, disappointed, just as the door closes behind them.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asks, hand on Steve’s lower back. He punches the button of the elevator with a finger. The doors open instantly. Bucky crowds Steve into the wall, kisses Steve on the lips. “Baby?”

“I’m okay,” he says, embarrassed and aroused.

The elevator opens and Bucky takes his hand, hauls him to his office and locks the door. “What a fucking asshole? Why didn’t you hit him?”

“I was curious. Wanted to see if you’d…_oh_,” he sighs, because Bucky has unbuttoned Steve’s pants and shoved his hand down the back, fingers pressing gently into his hole.

Bucky groans against his mouth and Steve touches the hard length of him through his pants. “I’m going to come, right?” he asks, as Bucky pushes him to the floor.

“Yeah, you’re going to come. You’re going to come so hard, and I’m going to fuck you so good that you won’t even look at him twice. _Damnit_, Steve,” he growls.

“I didn’t, um, you know I don’t want him, right?” he says, overwhelmed with how quickly Bucky is stripping him down. If Bucky touches the head of his cock at all he’s going to come.

“Yeah, I know,” he grumbles, shoving Steve’s legs open and pressing his tongue to his hole. There’s a wet, deep swipe of his tongue, and then he pulls back, thumb rubbing, pulling gently on Steve’s rim, still a little loose from this morning, “_rationally_, I know. Now, shut up and come for daddy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gland drama in the next chapter. And, actually the drama got expanded upon due to all the comments. So thank you and I hope it's a level of angst/pay off that people will find satisfying. Probably posting tomorrow. Happy sunday!


	15. Chapter 15

Two days later, Bucky knocks on Phil’s door. He arrives bearing coffee. Phil gives him a smirk. “How’s life? You look unrested.”

“You might be shocked to hear this, but keeping up with a super soldier isn’t that easy.”

Phil scoffs, takes the drink eagerly. “You don’t have my sympathies. I can feel the happiness from down the hall.”

“Maybe it will spread.”

“Like viral happiness? Cooty happiness?” Phil jokes.

“Exactly.”

“Whatever it is, it’s working. Even Pierce was in my office today wanting the info on you and Rogers. Not that I told him anything.”

Now there’s a statement that raises every hair on his body. “Really?”

Phil shrugs. “He doesn’t have a designation. He doesn’t understand. Doesn’t even approach it the right way. He’s very concerned about the control aspect of it all. Anyway, it’s fine. How are things? The story of Tony’s abject failure with Steve has been good gossip by the way.”

Bucky huffs, annoyed. “Yeah, I’ve had two people ask me if Tony really had to go to the hospital. I barely touched him.”

“You were marvelously restrained.”

“Thank you. I thought so!” He says, totally serious. “I kind of wanted to see Steve hit him. But, well.” He shrugs. That’s actually part of the reason he’s here.

There’s a moment of silence. Bucky clears his throat. It’s been almost two weeks since this thing with Steve started and he needs advice. “So, pretend I didn’t ask you this. I’m asking as a friend, and would like to keep it between us, but what would you do if you had to keep your submissive even through-out the day and anal submission to start the day and a lunch time release weren’t enough?”

“Jesus. And I was so envious. No wonder you look tired.”

Bucky knows he’s blushing. “It’s just taking a while to get the rhythm down. His drops still aren’t managed all that well, and I’m beginning to think that’s him or the serum, instead of a deficit that can be made up for. Keeping him even during a work day is… a little concerning.” It shouldn’t be this frequent.

Phil snorts. “That’s an understatement?”

“As soon as he goes down, he’s working his way back out of it. I drop him at night. He wakes good. Sweet and content. Sex gets him to lunchtime. By 5pm I can barely get him out of the building without _something_. And I have to work him over hard. Unsustainably, hard.”

“And you have no days to recover.”

“Neither of us do. The last day of our week off, we had _finally_ evened out. It was just easy. A mental and physical break.” He tries to think of a good analogy. “It’s like an amazing night on the town. It’s a really good time, but you always need a few days to recover.” And it means they’ve made zero progress on his claiming glands.

“He’s in chastity, right?”

Bucky winces. “I raised the idea, he seemed… skeptical at best. And I’m denying him while we’re at work but it’s all on the honor system. He _hates_ denial. He has a high sex drive from the serum. I think if I made him wear a cage it would be a fight. He’d be so betrayed. I can’t help but think it would have a more negative impact than positive.”

Phil shrugs. “Well, obviously, as someone who gave you a cock cage for a bonding present, I think you’re wrong.”

“Am I about to get a Captain America history lesson?”

“No. Maybe. Okay, yes. I’ve read _all_ the books. Seen _all_ the interviews and you haven’t,” Phil says.

“No. Because he was just some guy who died tragically a long time ago, and I was living in the present like a sane person. Now, I’m bonded to him and it would be odd to look at his past like that when he’s in front of me. Seems wrong.”

“You’re totally correct,” Phil says, waving a hand in agreement. “But, my _opinion_, as a dominant, with that extra knowledge of him, is that Steve Rogers wasn’t just a tragedy because of the Valkyrie and not getting to see the war end. He stayed an inspiration because he was someone who fought even though he was always alone. Part of his tragedy was dying alone.”

Bucky is now one hundred percent willing to hear this theory out. Because, alone is exactly how Steve described himself.

“People only know the exterior of him and think he’s a hero who will always make the right decision and the hard choice. He’ll sacrifice himself for nothing. For a _possibility_ if that’s what’s needed. He serves. He serves his country, ideals, whatever is expected of him. Peggy Carter was a submissive and rumor has it he acted as her dominant. Can you imagine how much of a toll that would have put on him?”

He has no idea if that’s true. But, he’s terrified it is. It’s just the sort of decision his baby would make. And it would be awful for him. “I think you need to lock him up so he knows where he belongs and who he belongs to. You are his focus and his anchor. The thing he’s never had before.”

God, he knows Phil is right, but Steve is going to object vigorously. He tells Phil that, slumping in the chair.

Phil rolls his eyes. “Frankly, his designation is so unusual, he’s so dominant in everything else, that you have to cut through that, too. Are you going to get him pierced?”

Bucky feels like he’s been punched in the stomach. He wants to. “I don’t know,” he says, looking away.

“You can’t convince me you don’t want to.”

“I do want to.” Of course he does. Just the thought of Steve’s nipples pierced with two barbells gets him hard. Steve would fucking love it. “I just wanted to give it time. Make sure that was right. I’m already spending half my time worrying I’m going too far. For most submissives that’s a hard no. Too extreme.”

Phil looks at him like he’s an idiot. “He jumps out of planes without a parachute. He _is_ extreme.”

True. Steve is extreme, but he’s also weepy and clingy and just wants to be a sweet boy sucking on his daddy’s cock. It makes Bucky worry that he’s too sadistic, that maybe it isn’t what Steve wants, even if it’s somehow where they always find themselves.

He tells himself he’s going to be gentle, that they’re going to try something soft and the next thing he knows, Steve is both desperate to have it and get away. Maybe the ‘get away’ part is the clue. That he somehow isn’t getting Steve down enough to surrender more easily. And, fuck, it’s probably his Claiming glands.

“I guess… there’s also a problem in that I haven’t claimed him yet.”

Phil looks horrified.

“His glands are _completely_ fucked up,” Bucky says, instantly on the defensive. “I can’t get near them without him freaking out. It’s been a massive set back every time I’ve tried. I’m scared to even go near them if we don’t have a solid few days to spend together afterwards.”

“Christ. What does medical say?”

“Nothing, as far as I know. He said they tried to touch him, that he said no, and that was the end of it.”

“Bucky, I’m so sorry,” Phil finally says. He’s reached the obvious conclusion. The one Bucky has been pretending isn’t becoming increasingly likely.

Bucky can feel himself getting emotional at the sympathy radiating off of his friend. He bites his lip, suspects his lip would actually wobble like a child if he didn’t.

“It’s fine,” Bucky says, shaking his head. “It doesn’t mean anything. Not yet. We don’t know for sure that it’s a problem.”

“He has to be terrified of being Dysfunctional. Dragging it out can’t be helping.”

Now Bucky feels like an asshole. “He has no idea what that is. Fuck, I’ve been such a coward. He’d be devastated.” Bucky is devastated just thinking about it. If he can’t claim Steve properly, then the likelihood of it settling down any further is non-existent.

Over time it will grow worse, require more and more stimuli to get him dropped to the same level. If someone has a minor designation then it isn’t that big of a deal. But, Steve is so far at the end of the range that Bucky doesn’t even know what that would look like or mean for them down the road. Five years or ten years from now, how rough would he have to be to get Steve to drop?

It’s the only biological problem that forces people apart once they’ve bonded. The strain can be overwhelming for normal people. Steve already isn’t normal in terms of stamina and what he needs.

And putting that label on Steve. He knows it would be hard for Steve, that Steve would feel like he was letting Bucky down, unable to give himself over completely.

Phil swears. “Look, it’s been _days_. And the fact that we’re talking about it means you know it has to be fixed and there’s still a chance that everything is fine. You have to complete the bond and if he’s Dysfunctional, you both need to know. And you’ll make it work, right?”

“Of course. I love him. As far as I’m concerned we’re as good as bonded. He’s mine.”

“Exactly. What will happen if you try to touch his neck?”

“Disobedience, panic, a bad drop, an argument. He pushed me away,” he says, a horrible confession. “It was instinct. He didn’t mean to.”

Phil is very serious when he says, “Get him down. Drop him and figure it out. Wear him out, edge of endurance, and then go for the glands. It’s your only move. Bucky, you can’t have him fight you on that. It’s too important. If he’s Dysfunctional, you want to know for sure and beyond a doubt. It isn’t going to be sweet and gentle. That fantasy is gone. You’re his dominant and you need to figure it out.”

He has to get Steve so far out of his head that he won’t fight when Bucky forces his Claiming glands. Where does he even start?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I believe everyone put in an order for drama with a side of kinky sex? Because that's the delivery.


	16. Chapter 16

Steve is sent out on a mission that very afternoon, leaving Bucky’s plans on hold. Bucky isn’t sure what to make of the fact that Steve is sent without him. And he isn’t sure if Steve is relieved. He thinks he might be. Steve is so independent, so strong and such a leader that the idea of encroaching on that, unconsciously or consciously, by asserting his dominance over Steve on a mission is something they’re both worried about. So, he lets it go. Lets Steve go on his own. He’ll only be a few hours away. It will be fine.

The mission drags out. When it ends, Bucky is at work and in his office. He goes to the hanger to meet them and seeing Steve come off that plane in his battered Captain America uniform, shield on his back, mask dangling in one hand, limping lightly and looking tired raises every instinct he has.

Steve comes up to him, looks at Bucky longingly. His shoulders are slumped in exhaustion. He wants to take him into his arms, but it needs to be Steve’s call, what they do in public, as he’s the one most affected by their relationship becoming public. Steve’s hand twitches at his side. “Move,” he whispers, and Bucky backs away, gives him space, watches as Steve draws in a breath, trying to keep it together.

Steve has to go to decontamination and medical first. He walks away from Bucky, falls into conversation with Clint and Phil, who’s come to see Clint come back, as they go to decon. Bucky gives them a head start. Lets Steve take a different elevator so there’s no temptation.

Phil is waiting for him at the elevator. He must have let Clint go ahead too. “It isn’t all fun and games being a dominant,” Phil mutters.

“My boy looks tired. I’m taking him home after this. Probably a few days.” He gestures to his neck. 

Phil claps him on the back. “Good. He kept it together out there. I made sure he knew you were going to be in medical.”

“What did he think about that?”

“I think he was relieved.”

Bucky nods. It doesn’t matter all that much. He’s going to be there. He’s Steve’s dominant and he’s gotta act like one even if Steve is irked at him being there.

Steve is showered and in a t-shirt and exercise pants when he gets there. He’s getting blood taken and he looks furious.

“What’s going on?” Bucky asks, because Pierce is there too. 

The doctor looks at Bucky. “Captain Rogers has you listed as his Dominant— congratulations by the way— and an examination of his glandular health is required at that point. The Captain is withholding consent.”

“Then it sounds like you better not touch him,” Bucky says, voice hard. His body shifts, standing slightly in front of Steve like he’s ready to take a bullet for him or protect him from whatever is about to happen.

Pierce turns and paces away, as if he isn’t all that invested in the outcome. “There’s no record of any examination of his Claiming Glands,” the doctor says.

Why the fuck does this have anything to do with Pierce? “Is there something I can help you with, Sir?” Bucky asks him.

A twitch of a smile. “If there’s an issue with Dysfunction then we need to know,” Pierce says.

Bucky holds out a hand, wanting them all to shut up immediately. That is _not_ something that needs to be brought up around Steve, especially not now, hours before he gets it resolved one way or another. He doesn’t want to scare Steve. “First of all, that is not a concern I have and neither does he. We don’t consent to any tests or lab work for that condition. Is that why they’re taking blood?”

“It’s already drawn,” Pierce says, shrugging.

“Give me the lab orders. I don’t want any vials taken out of the room. He has legal rights.”

Pierce makes a sound. “Yes and no. Yes, he does have rights because he’s a person, but he also signed away a great deal of those rights when he consented to the government’s experiments.”

“Bullshit. There is no way in hell that a contract from the 40’s is still legally binding upon him. And even if it was, the evolution of contract law and the changes in submissive rights would undoubtedly make it invalid on its face.”

“You’re very defensive, Sargent. This is in his best interest.”

He shakes his head. “I’m his dominant. I have not raised the question of Dysfunction. Don’t even try to _touch_ his claiming glands. That’s all there is to it. What is left of the exam?” He turns to Steve who’s looking at him with wide eyes. He can tell Steve is holding it together, tight and shut down. Fuck. “What injuries did you sustain?”

“I pulled a muscle,” Steve says, carefully. “No open wounds or anything.”

“There you go. Then a visual inspection is technically all that’s required. So, we’ll be going now.”

“You’re going to refuse treatment for your submissive?” Pierce asks. “Wow. The look on his face makes me think this isn’t something you two have talked about. What other decisions will you be making for the Captain? Denying him when he isn’t even informed? Glass houses, Sargent.”

Bucky turns away from the doctors. “Come on, Steve.”

Steve gets up and Bucky goes over to the table, picks up the vials of Steve’s blood and leads them out of the room.

He pauses in the hallway next to the elevator. “Do you want them to have this blood?”

“They have tons of my blood. Seems a little late to worry about it now.”

“This is the first blood they’ve taken since you really came into your designation, though. Since we got together. I don’t want them to have it. I’d like for you to agree with me.”

“So you’re not making decisions about my health without my input? I’m sure you would,” Steve murmurs. He’s staring at Bucky hard, trying to figure out if he’s going to be offended or outraged. Steve sighs. “I’m tired. Okay. Keep it then.”

“Well, we’ll get it incinerated. For the next few weeks, don’t let them take blood. Please, please let all the medical requests come to me first?”

“Would they actually come to me now, anyway?” he asks, leaning against the wall.

Bucky winces. “Probably not. No, they’ll be coming to me since I’m now your dominant. But, I don’t want to make decisions like that for you. It’s your body.”

They get in the elevator. Both of them silent and tense. Not touching at all. “Are you gonna make me look it up behind your back?”

“Sweetheart. It’s nothing to worry about. You’re not Dysfunctional.”

***

It’s an awful word, Steve thinks. He’s never even heard the term before but it can’t be good. Bucky waits until they’re in his office. “I missed you. I’m glad you’re okay. What do you need right now? Doyou want to talk about the doctor? Do you need to drop or just be held?”

That’s a close call, actually. He needs to be held desperately. And he’s absolutely gagging for Bucky’s dick. He needs to get fucked and reminded of who he belongs to. He needs it to _hurt_. He wants to feel it for days. It isn’t possible with the way he heals, but he’s been thinking about it for the last two days.

How deep and hard he needs it. How rough. It actually has helped put things in perspective a little bit. So, yeah, he needs that. “Tell me about being Dysfunctional.”

Bucky rubs a hand over his face. His daddy looks tired. As if he missed Steve when he was gone and didn’t sleep all that well.

“Sometimes a submissive’s glands don’t function as they should. Hormones are missing or overproduced and it can affect their bond with a dominant in a number of ways. Most frequently this is if the glands are stunted and didn’t develop properly.”

“Oh.” Fuck. He leans back against Bucky’s desk. He raises a hand to his neck, can’t even touch it. Just lowers his hand.

“Shit. Sweetheart, can I hold you for this?”

“No. Just tell me,” he says, looking at Bucky’s face. If he tries to lie or sugar-coat it Steve needs to know. The only way to do that is to watch his face and not be distracted by how perfect it feels to be held by his daddy.

“Difficulty touching the glands or allowing your dominant to touch them is basically the biggest indicator that there’s a problem. The solution is typically surgery. The glands are removed and the problem is resolved,” he says, like it isn’t a big deal.

“Then why were you hiding it from me?” 

Bucky doesn’t respond right away. This is where it gets bad then. “They’re called claiming glands for a reason. They make your connection to me easier. And vice versa. If they are Dysfunctional then you’d likely always need a rougher dynamic and to go down for longer. The rest of you would be compensating for your missing glands and those are the ones most closely associated with drops and feelings of submission. But, we have such a strong connection that I know we can get through it.”

“I have that, don’t I?”

“Steve. I don’t think you do. But, more importantly, I don’t _care_ if you do. I love you and that won’t change. No one is perfect. Not even you. I didn’t want them to bring it up because we haven’t tried everything yet. I’ve been so careful that it’s too early to even guess. And think of how many worse things there are than this. It’s not life threatening or even dangerous.”

“You reacted like it was a big deal.”

“I don’t like Pierce hanging around. His interest concerns me. I want to take you home now.”

He knows that isn’t all of it. That there’s things Bucky is leaving out or minimizing. He’ll need to get the information himself. This isn’t something Bucky should protect him from. “I have a debrief in two hours.”

“I know. Look, I’m not trying to hide information from you or something. If you can wait until we get home so we can talk about it together that would be best.”

Steve nods grimly.

Bucky sighs in relief. “Good. Now one more thing,” he says, coming closer. He pulls Steve in, presses up against him. “I fucking missed you so much, baby.”

“Fuck. _Daddy_. I can’t go to the debrief without something. I won’t be able to stand it. “Fuck me so I can feel you during the meeting.”

“Sweetheart,” Bucky whispers, kissing his mouth.

“Make it hurt, daddy. I want it to hurt and I want to feel you leaking out of me.” Bucky groans, hands on Steve’s chest as he gives Steve what they both need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still don't know how much the pierce thing will be developed, i'm kind of hedging my bets. 
> 
> should post more tomorrow. 
> 
> if you've been wondering what's up with the fade to black the last chapter or two, don't worry. the gland resolution is thousands of words of smut.


	17. Chapter 17

Bucky has to evaluate three new hires and can’t go to the debrief. He really had no reason to be there, anyway, Steve reminds himself.It was just that Steve wanted to be with him. Bucky had left him a little calmer after the mission, but not nearly good enough. He’d gotten fucked and he was a little tender, but it wasn’t enough after the stress of the mission and the days apart.

There’s a slight sinking feeling all about him, like he’s in emotional quicksand, very slowly going under. His skin is uncomfortable, as if it isn’t settled right, a bit raw and exposed.

He sat in the meeting, unable to focus on anything besides Bucky. He answered questions, listened to suggestions for future missions and yet, most of his attention was on what might happen after.

He wanted Bucky to come all over him. Sitwell had been saying something about…_something_, and Steve had looked at his arm, at where it was red from him scratching at it absently and he’d thought come would really soothe him.

And that was that. Nota single coherent thought about anything else besides Bucky’s come for the full hour. It’s vaguely creepy and embarrassing how much he wants it. Bucky would moan and come on him, rub it into Steve’s skin. Getting it on him and in him. Everywhere, if possible. He knows it’s part of their bond, a biological need to get his dominant’s hormones. Which sounds clinical and predictable. Itdoesn’t feel like that, though. It just feels like something dirty that he really, really wants. Maybe needs. If someone offered him sleep or Bucky’s come, he’d choose come. Food or come? Come. That’s weird.

It is.

Bucky finishes the third evaluation late, a computer analyst with a fairly minor submission kink, as he’s later told. Bucky’d had a representative from medical there, which was standard protocol, apparently. And it makes sense why someone would be there, Steve realizes as soon as the door opens. This woman practically exudes infatuation as she stares up at Bucky. She listens attentively as Bucky tells her to expect a call from medical the following day. She’s so quiet and soft, trying to be so _good_ for Bucky, undoubtedly wanting him to call her a good girl.

Steve wishes he hadn’t seen it.

Bucky’s professional, a little distant, certainly isn’t in touching distance or doing anything to encourage her, but even so, Steve can’t help but wonder if maybe she’s what Bucky really wants. A normal het relationship with a bit of kink thrown in, light and easy. It’s horrible watching her interact with his dom. Like looking at another possibility, a path not taken.

She isn’t like Steve. Her submission is different. He can tell just be looking at her. She would go down easy every time. Unlike Steve. Even though he’s still soaked in Bucky’s come and his nipples ache a little from Bucky manhandling him, he doesn’t feel easy like a submissive should. He wants to hurt and give in. He needs to be loomed over and brought down. He doesn’t know what Bucky would have chosen for himself if he’d had the choice, instead of being forced into a bond with Steve. He hadn’t wanted to ask.

Now he sees it. A representation of all that he lacks. Steve is leaning against a wall, arms crossed and tired as fuck, waiting for him. He’s petulant in comparison. Grumpy while she’s eager. He pushes himself up, gives the woman a perfunctory nod and can’t help but hate everything. He stands there staring at Bucky like a dope, looking him over like he’s going to see signs of infidelity or something.

She was very, very pretty.

“How did the debrief go?” Bucky asks, as soon as she walks away. He gives Steve an up and down appraisal, does a brow raise, slight and to himself, like he’s having an internal conversation, and then shakes his head. “God, you’re gorgeous, Steve.”

He supposes that’s a little mollifying. “Fine. All done. Wanted to see if you were ready to go home.” Steve comes closer, practically backing Bucky into the wall. Bucky licks his lips and lets himself go backwards with a ‘come and get it,’ smile. Steve leans closer, kisses Bucky’s neck and he doesn’t really want to sniff Bucky, scenting him for another submissive, but he can’t help it.

“Except for the one time I had to find you, I don’t do evaluations alone, Steve. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Steve doesn’t like feeling jealous. But, everything is so new and there’s this Dysfunction question hanging over them. Maybe this is what it means that he can’t bond properly. “Can women by Dysfunctional, too?”

“Yes, Steve. Baby, there’s a designation room on the 15th floor,” Bucky says. “I would like to take you there now.”

“Ok.” Should he have said thank you or called him daddy? Does he deserve to call him daddy? Steve steps back, shrinking in on himself, automatically. He shouldn’t doubt Bucky or give in to jealousy. He shouldn’t have been so aggressive just now, either. Bucky should get to come to him. Steve should be looking at Bucky with infatuation, ready to drop his clothes at the crook of his dominant’s finger, like that woman undoubtedly would have.

But, no. Steve is here glaring and in a bad mood, overly large and….Maybe Bucky wouldn’t even want to be called daddy now. Bucky probably doesn’t want him if he’s broken. He can’t be good, can’t obey or take a little denial. He’s hopeless. Maybe that’s the real reason he’s been alone for so long.

Perhaps he’s always known, subconsciously, that he’s not good enough to keep a dominant. “Sweetheart, whatever you’re thinking, it’s wrong.”

He just says that because he’s kind. “You don’t know what I’m thinking.” Steve feels a touch to his lower back as they walk towards the elevator.Steve is in tears by the time they get there. “You don’t want me.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” Bucky looms over him, moves into his space to push the button. When the doors open, he herds Steve inside, pushes the button for the 15th floor and blocks Steve with a hand on his stomach, as if Steve might want to leave. The doors close and Bucky presses him against the wall, lets Steve feel how hard he already is. He takes Steve’s hand in his, puts it on his cock and presses.

“Need you, baby. I won’t be waiting,” he says, warningly, and he moves away, just as the doors open. Another hand at Steve’s back. He’s not going to try to make a break for it. Does Bucky not know that he’s a sure thing and wouldn’t deny him?

They move down the hallway. Someone says hello to Bucky, looks at Steve and then away after a quick nod. Everyone knows who he is but hasn’t met him. He always gets a lot of careful nods. The person disappears and Bucky stops in front of a door, swipes his key card and opens it up. Steve steps inside. It’s dark.

Bucky lets the door close. It’s pitch black, the room soundproofed and with no windows. Bucky slips his bag from Steve’s shoulder and puts it to the ground. He pushes Steve back against the door and grabs Steve’s pecs in his hands, squeezes them. Steve’s arms lift to go around him. “No. Hands against the door.”

Steve whimpers as Bucky kisses his bottom lip, sucks it into his mouth and bites him hard. His hands press firmly against the wall so he doesn’t touch, and Bucky presses his cock against Steve’s, little nudges of his hips that mimic what he’s going to do to Steve soon. “I need you, Steve. Only you. Waiting is torture,” he whispers, and sucks biting bruises into Steve’s collarbone. Not his neck. Oh no. Never there.

It’s probably just because he knowsabout the Dysfunction, but not getting his neck touched and kissed feels bad now. He’s failing Bucky. Before, he’d been so scared that it was a relief to have them left alone. Now it registers as an absence, something he isn’t giving.

Bucky opens his own pants, moving his hips back just enough to get them open and takes Steve’s hand, puts it onto his cock with a groan while he fumbles in his pants pocket. He presses something into Steve’s other hand and then unbuttons Steve’s shirt.

Bucky shoves it off of Steve, gets rid of the undershirt too, and moans, greedily biting more kisses down Steve’s chest and over his nipples while Steve breathes and touches Bucky carefully. It’s all going so quickly and Steve can’t do much more than stand there and tremble while the world moves around him. “Please want me,” he finally manages.

“I do. I’m going to prove it to you.” He puts his own hand over Steve’s urging Steve to jerk him off. Within moments Steve’s hand gets slick, Bucky leaking all over his fingers and he lifts them to his mouth, sucks off the taste and slickness while Bucky gets inside Steve’s pants, shoves them down and out of the way. “You better start opening yourself up, Stevie.”

“Daddy,” he finally whispers. His hand goes back down, getting more pre-come on his fingers and sucking it into his mouth.

“There’s my good boy,” Bucky says, and kisses Steve hard and deep. He fucks Steve’s mouth and Steve tries to follow him forward as he moves, which only results in Bucky pressing him back and Steve bumping his head on the closed door. “Think I’m going to hurt you a bit now, baby.”

“Fuck, um, how? Where?” When what he’s thinking is ‘thank god!’ and ‘Yes!’ Steve can’t say what he wants, doesn’t quite feel like this is real. Steve still has quicksand all around him, making him numb and keeping him from Bucky. Bucky’s dominance and will are bouncing off of him, an invisible barrier between them. Just not penetrating through and reaching him.

“Where are you, baby?” 

Thumbs dig deep under his nipples, not even trying to massage a release out of him, just forcing it. The pain is blinding, sharp and breath-stealing. It clears the haze away, makes him feel hot there, like the barrier between them is thin and giving way.

Bucky’s hands are real and on him, Steve’s pain giving them form and shape. He trembles, the glands release and it’s a horrible relief, pulled through him when he wasn’t receptive and wanting. It takes him down, is weird and makes him feel like he doesn’t know himself. His cock releases too, wetness leaking out of him in slow, agonizingly weak pulses.

“Daddy. Oh. Thank you. I’m gonna fall,” he gasps, and Bucky pushes Steve to the ground. Steve is on his knees, Bucky is feeding his cock into Steve’s mouth, rough and quick.

“Your time is running out, Steve. Lube. _Now_.”

Steve tries to open the packet with his shaking hands and gets gagged hard and deep by Bucky’s cock. He cries out, but it’s a gurgle and he tries to get his breath back but the need to gag and pull back makes it all so difficult. Bucky’s hand goes to Steve’s jaw, two fingers pressed in the corner, like he’s got to keep Steve’s mouth open at the hinge. Even that’s almost too deep and Steve tries to turn away from it, worried he’s going to gag again, and Bucky presses deep into his mouth, rubs his thumb against Steve’s cheek, and then shoves that into Steve’s mouth, too. His lips hurt. Between the cock and the two fingers holding his mouth open, the other just pressing in alongside his cock, it’s too much.

Fuck, he has to pay attention. His heart kicks, there’s a spasm deep inside him and the barrier keeping him from Bucky melts off of him as he gets hot andoverwhelmed. He can’t keep up with the pace Bucky is setting. His demands. What does he do if he can’t keep up? And yet, he knows.

Give in.

Trust his daddy.

The lube rips in half in his hands, a mini explosion and disaster, but a glob of it lands on his fingers and he shoves them between his legs and to his hole, two fingers pressing into himself eagerly as he chokes again. Bucky pulls out, lets Steve catch his breath, and Steve works his fingers inside, forcing himself open.

The release of his glands and his cock have made him heavy and scorchingly hot in his ass, swollen and flushed with arousal, nature’s way of helping him get ready to be fucked. But it aches unpleasantly, the burn of his fingers adding to it. He needs more lube. And, he should add a third, he thinks, as Bucky groans and presses his cock back into Steve’s mouth.

Steve wants to feel it. Needs to know how much it’s going to hurt when he gets split open on Bucky’s cock. He leaves the two fingers inside himself and tries to swallow around Bucky’s cock. He doesn’t want lube. Bucky pulls out again, heaving breaths, a hand on Steve’s face, blindly seeking to know where he is so he can come all over him in the dark.

He opens his mouth when the first spurt hits him, gets a stripe or two in his mouth and the rest is on his face, his chest, even lands on his stomach as Bucky comes all over Steve. His hand rests heavily on Steve’s head while he gets his breath back, like Steve is a prop, just a thing. Steve makes a sound in approval.

God, Bucky is still so hard. “Let’s see what my sweetheart looks like,” he finally says, voice sounding like he’s the one who just got his throat fucked.

The light snaps on and Steve blinks for a minute, eyes adjusting. There’s come on him. It’s a good start, he thinks, dimly.

Bucky looks at his face, leans down to get in close, turns Steve’s head from side to side, evaluating him.

“Those fingers aren’t moving. How many do you have in that hole of mine?”

“Um…two… daddy.” He almost winces. The word doesn’t come as smooth as it sometimes does. Isn’t as easy to give. But, if he can’t give it to Bucky then he can’t get the peace and trust that comes with it. And he wants to. He wants it to be easy and permanent. He wants to look at Bucky and know _that’s_ his daddy and never, ever doubt.

“How am I going to take you, baby?”

“In…In one,” he says, through a rush of fear and excitement.

“And how is that going to feel if you’ve only opened up a little bit?”

“Daddy,” he blushes, closes his eyes. It isn’t an answer but it is. It’s going to fucking _hurt_. He knows and he wants it. He deserves it and he has to be reminded how much daddy wants him. The pain will wipe the distance and the dark, syrupy emotion away from him, will cleanse him and purify all of him, leaving him new and exposed and vulnerable. He’ll be scrubbed raw emotionally and physically.

Suitably broken down and ripe for his daddy. He just wants to be what Bucky deserves. How can something so fucking simple feel so complicated and far away? Why can’t he be some young woman who gets five minutes with Bucky and stumbles out like a fool?

Bucky puts a hand down, reaching for Steve’s arm and hauls him upright. “You could ask me to give you more time to prep yourself. Or, you can ask me to help you, babydoll,” Bucky says, checking in to make sure this is what Steve wants.

“Won’t,” Steve says, stubborn and certain. “Make me good.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he says, and he reaches down to give his own balls a fondle. Bucky points to the bed and Steve takes his fingers out of his ass and moves towards it. Bucky goes straight to the supply cart, pulls out a lube shooter and a couple of lube packets and sets them on the bed.

There’s a hint of soreness in his hole from his fingers, just enough to feel it as he moves and sits down. He lies down on the bed, trembling in anticipation as Bucky opens a few other drawers, takes out a cock ring and puts it onto Steve. It’s tight and Steve’s hips twitch upwards, needing to fuck something or take it off. It’s a lot. He closes his eyes and is so grateful his daddy is here and is going to take care of him.

But then Bucky is putting something on his dick. A cream and rolling a thick condom onto him. Well, almost a condom. There’s an opening at the end so he can release but all the sensation is suddenly dulled beyond belief. The cream is numbing him he realizes, reducing sensation even further.

“Daddy?” he asks, and it’s easy as anything to say that time.

“You won’t be coming anytime soon, baby.” He kisses Steve on the lips and the nose,pulls back with a gentle smile. “I have plans and things I need from you. You coming isn’t one of them. A little desensitization will help you. Say, ‘thank you, daddy.’”

He wants to complain. Needs to protest. “Thank you…daddy.”

“Relax.” He orders, because Steve clenches up when the plastic lube shooter touches his rim. He presses lube into Steve’s hole, quick and a little rough.

“Lots of tears on your face, babydoll.”

“Yes, daddy.” Just yes. It’s easier. He has to touch his dick. See just how much he’s lost.

“Did you like how I fucked your face? What kind of tears are those?” Bucky opens up a lube packet, slicks a glob onto Steve’s hole and then onto his own cock and finally gets his body over Steve. He doesn’t care about the answer, Steve realizes.

Steve looks at him hungrily, how strong he is and he looks so stern and hard. His cock is going to be a lot. Bucky is in a mood to reduce him down and Steve needs to go with it.

“Legs around my waist, honey. Or you hold your knees open for me.”

He puts his legs around Bucky’s waist because he needs to touch him, hands on his daddy’s skin.

“You keep your eyes on me. I want to see you. I’m going to want you again tonight so if you think I’m hurting you, say red or yellow. I won’t be annoyed. I’ll be more annoyed if I can’t use you. I’m trusting you.”

Steve blushes, lifts his hands so he can hold Bucky, arms around his neck, begging him. Bucky pecks a kiss to his mouth. “Okay, greedy boy. Arms around my neck or on the bed, you can choose.”

“Thank you, daddy. I just want to be close to you. I’m sorry.”

“I know, baby. It’s been a long day and I’ve missed you too. You’ll tell me if I’m hurting you too much, alright?”

He blushes. “Daddy. I heal fast. Do what you want. Please?” he blinks quickly, tears coming.

Bucky pushes back from him, sighing with what could be frustration, his hands on Steve’s thighs, opening them wider. He finds the glands of Steve’s inner thighs, presses them so hard Steve shouts out and they spasm painfully as they release. And then he’s back at Steve’s pecs, gently touching, thumbs seeking. “Daddy, daddy no. It’s going to hurt, no, no,” he whimpers, arching his pecs into Bucky’s hands.

“You know stop and no isn’t good enough, right?”

Steve breathes, opens his eyes, nods. “Just need to say it. I want to hurt, daddy. I want to prove to you that I can take it.” 

“Okay, sweetheart. Just checking. You’re the best boy, Steve,” and he finds the glands. “I see you looking at me, afraid you’re not going to get what you need. Exhale, sweetheart,” he says, and Bucky’s fingers force deep against the glands in his pecs, again, surrounding it on all sides and he releases miserably.

There’s wetness slipping out of him and the hiccuping sound of a sob is definitely coming from him, too. He covers Steve again, kisses him, just kissing while Steve tries to recover from the pain of it all. He gets his cock back to Steve’s entrance and waits for Steve to look at him. “You don’t trust me,” Steve realizes.

He looks a little sad. “I trust you with everything but yourself. I think you’d let me hurt you in a way I didn’t want and that’s not okay. That’s the hardest thing for you to give me, Steve. I understand that. We’ll work on it, baby. But, not tonight. Now you’ve released enough we don’t have to worry about you tearing. Problem solved.”

“Do you wish you had someone like her?” he asks, desperately. She’d tow the line and make sure to give Bucky everything exactly like he wanted.

Bucky frowns. “I don’t even know what that means.”

“It’s always a fight. That girl… so many submissives must just be so easy for you. I want to be. I do.”

“Oh, Steve. We’re not meant for gentle or easy. I promise you. I’d hate it and so would you.” Steve would. He doesn’t believe Bucky would.

“But, sometimes?” Sometimes he must want it that way, surely.

“No. _Never_. I want you. Always.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, and manages to get his legs up and around Bucky’s waist again. He wants to earn it, work for it, get rewarded because he’s brought this man incredible pleasure and relief. He doesn’t mean to question him or doubt.

“Stevie, there’s you, which is perfection, and there’s everyone else which is a pale comparison. Even if we wish we could choose someone and make them what we want them to be, we can’t. You can’t just switch one person for another. Can’t make it work if it isn’t meant to. Sweetheart, did you try to be Peggy Carter’s dom?”

That is not what he expected. How does he know? It was so awful. It was unbearable and he wanted to die. “Steve, you can only be you. Trying to be something else will make you miserable. Will make living too difficult to bear.”

He’s staring at Steve. He knows about the Valkyrie. “Daddy.” He wants to deny it.

“I love you, Steve. We’ll take care of each other. I don’t want anything different and neither do you.”

“Need you,” Steve whispers, unable to talk anymore. Bucky chuckles, shifts over to put his weight on one arm so his hand is free and wraps it around Steve’s cock. He strokes him. He feels almost nothing. “Look. See if watching gets you closer.” 

Steve looks down his body, to where his daddy is jerking him off. He can’t come like this. He doesn’t feel it enough. Almost instantly, Steve breaks into a sweat and shifts restlessly under Bucky’s weight.

“Tell me,” Bucky orders, playing with him.

“I don’t know,” he gasps. It’s just confusing. 

“What else? What about here?” he asks, hand slipping down to Steve’s balls, pressing hard where the ring is cutting into Steve’s shaft. His balls are hot and sensitive, swollen with seed and the orgasm he’s being denied.

“That hurts too, daddy.”

“Good. I’m glad. Let’s make it worse, sweetheart.” Terror bolts through Steve, morphing into lust, rushing through him fast as heroin. His daddy presses into him, relentless and unbearable. He trembles weakly, loses time until Bucky speaks. “You’re so beautiful. Your eyes become a little more blue when you cry. Do you want to show me?”

Just like that, the tears come. Like they’d been waiting for permission, too. They spill over and Bucky makes a sound, squeezes Steve so hard he might bruise. Fuck, wouldn’t that be something, he thinks, wanting it. He thinks he almost comes, body tense and straining.

“Keep doing that. That feels good on my cock, baby.”

“I’m not— _daddy_— fuck, I have to come. Let me, please. Have to.” And then he’s incoherent for a moment as he struggles to breathe through another attempted orgasm that gets absolutely nowhere, stalling out in his balls, miles away from his numb dick.

Bucky doesn’t stop touching him, keeps at his balls and touching his shaft in rough squeezes, until the pain is sharp and it’s like there’s broken glass inside him. His head is pounding and it’s so fucking much. He puts a hand over Bucky’s, stopping him, wanting just a moment.

Just one.

Bucky pulls out of him, makes Steve look at him, staring into his eyes. “I love you, daddy.”

“I know, baby. I love you, too. It’s been a big day. Come on now,” he says. Bucky moves to his back, urges Steve on top of him, over him. “Fuck me good, Steve. Make me come. Take care of me.”

Steve nods. Bucky seems a little far away and moving is a lot of fucking work. Steve’s cock is huge and comical, looks like a sausage crammed into that stupid sensation stealing condom. Steve hates it. Maybe that’s part of it. 

“Up and down,” Bucky says, pressing the head of his cock to Steve’s hole, notched and ready.“All the way down, then back up. Pause at the top. Hey. Listen to what I need from you.”

Right. He shakes his head, gets back into the moment. It’s just like getting back up again in a dank alley. He loves to get back up. “Yes, daddy,”

“Good. Pause at the top. The very tip will remain in you. And then you go back down, all the way, in to the hilt. I want it fucking _precise_. Now. Be my good boy,” he orders.

Steve blinks. He’s so fucking tired all the sudden. He’s aching everywhere. His pecs throb, all of his glands feel so big and sore and yet he’s floating, tied to the earth with his connection to Bucky’s cock. 

He sits back, Bucky’s cock slides away from him, slippingoff the rim in his clumsiness. Bucky’s hand is in his hair, hard and painful. Steve moans, tears prickling his eyes. “Get the fuck up,” he orders, and Steve rises, whimpers in shame that his daddy is so upset with him. Bucky holds his cock up from his stomach and Steve is over him, trembling as he sinks down, all the way down, slow and steady but whimpering with how difficult it is.

“Fuck. Good boy. Now _up_,” he grits out and Steve rises, keeps going, until the flare of his head slips out and the barest wrong move will have Bucky’s cock back on his stomach and not warm and safe inside Steve. He keeps the position, ever so careful, can’t barely feel him at all, except that hot point of contact where the tip of his cock is kissing his rim. “Very fucking _good_.” Bucky growls.

“Please,” Steve begs, empty and tired. The praise warms him from the inside out.

“Down,” he orders and Steve takes him in again, gaspingas Bucky’s massive cock slips into him, His passage ripples, spasming at the steady intrusion. He groans at the sensation, wants to stop, just pause a moment.

“Don’t even think about stopping. Clench up, baby. Hurt for daddy.”

_Hurt for daddy. Hurt for daddy._ That echoes in his mind and resonates. Yes, that’s the right thing to do. It’s a bright light of pleasure and joy if he can just reach it. He goes up, a little more clear headed, the goal fixed in his mind. He clenches on the way, the drag intense and demanding.

“Jesus fucking christ,” Bucky says, hands slapping hard onto Steve’s hips in pleasure. He breathes at the top, so sore inside from that and then he composes himself, clenching again as he goes all the way down.

“That’s so fucking good, Steve. That’s right. Stay with me. Each time you go up and down should be perfect. This is all you are right now. The best boy.”

“Am I?” He whispers.

“Yes. The best boy and the sweetest hole. You’re _mine_.”

“What if I’m broken?”

“_No_, no more. That’s gone. Make it hurt inside, sweetheart. Make me come so fucking hard if you’re still worried, but I have everything I want right this moment. You’re not broken. You’re mine.”

He looks away. Bucky grabs him by the jaw.“What else do you need? What else is there?”

“I love you. Nothing. Just this. Daddy.” He nods. Shoves the doubt away. 

“That’s right. Me and you. Just _this_.” Bucky’s brow furrows as he lies back down. He runs his hands all over Steve’s chest and his stomach, twines their fingers together as he assesses Steve. “You need more. Okay,” He drops Steve’s hands, tilts his head back so he can see the cart, hauls it closer and rummages around until he finds a vibrator.

Cheap and disposable, Bucky tears off the packaging and Steve is watching him with wide eyes. He clicks it on and presses the tip to the base of Steve’s shaft, gliding it all along him until it’s nestled under the head. Steve writhes and closes his eyes, tries to squirm away because it’s too much.

Even through the cream and the condom he can feel it. “Daddy! No. Please, no,” he gasps, and has to put a hand down to his balls because they ache so much.

“You’re so fucking wet now, Stevie. Look,” he orders and Steve obeys, sees his cock shiny and wet as come slips out of him and slides down the shaft. “You like it there. That might be the spot, baby. But, let’s try one more place and see what that does. Up, baby, just halfway,” and Steve forces himself up again. Bucky’s got the vibrator resting on his palm and positions it so that Steve’s balls land on it as he goes down. “_God_. Daddy, daddy _no_,” he begs, even before he’s all the way down. 

“Stevie, down,” Bucky orders. Steve nods miserably and sinks down, squashing the vibrator between his balls, the vibrations on him, _inside_ him and he can’t come because of the ring and it’s just too intense.

“Daddy!” He starts to lift up and away.

“Stop.” Bucky orders, “Stay. Rub on it. I’ll tell you when you can lift up again. You need to work through it, sweetheart. This is going to be your new best friend I think. Best to start enjoying it.”

“What? No, daddy, no. I don’t like it, please no,” he begs, instantly sobbing as his thighs tremble and his shoulders hunch in and then press back. Inside, he’s clenching up so tight on Bucky’s cock that he wonders if it even feels good. He’s never felt like this, never hurt so bad and yet come is pouring into his balls with no way out and the pleasure and pain is just too intense.

He can’t think beyond it, doesn’t know how he’ll endure it. Bucky is watching him, puts a hand on Steve’s abdomen and Steve realizes his muscles are jumping, that it’s no longer just his insides and his cock that are being used by his daddy but his thighs and his stomach and the agony of this_ thing _that is buzzing between his thighs and making his daddy moan and rock up into him in desperate movements. This tiny, fucking, battery powered, piece of plastic is destroying him, controlling all of his reactions, every thought directed to _that_.

“Jesus, so good, Steve. Fuck, you don’t have any idea how good you feel. How pained you look. God, baby. I might always take you like this.”

“Daddy. You can’t,” he begs, sobbing and his nipples are throbbing now. “Can I touch myself?” he pleads, hands raised to touch his chest.

“Fuck, yes. Hard, baby.”

His hands clamp on his own chest like a vise, squeezing intensely and then moving to his nipples. He feels like he’s coming. Like he’s _been_ coming and his hands lock and he shakes, tries to let go, but his hands squeeze tighter and tighter, and suddenly he can’t even breathe with the intensity of it all.

“Up,” he hears from very far away and his body has been so desperate to hear it that he doesn’t even think about it, he just shoves up and gasps, like he’s breaking the surface of the water. He lets go, sees bruises on his chest already. He looks down at the pool of come on his daddy’s stomach. So, that’s his. Somehow. He doesn’t know when. He doesn’t know how long that went on for. Bucky’s eyes are half-lidded and his mouth is open in pleasure as he drags in air.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, baby. You’re doing so damned good for me.” Bucky’s voice is as wrecked as Steve feels. Steve touches his stomach, abs sore like he’s done a thousand sit ups and shakily slides his hand down to his cock and his balls, the place where the bullet has been resting and torturing him. A shudder racks him as he presses fingers against the strip of skin under the ring, swollen. Bucky has the vibrator in his hand and Steve eyes it, a little worried. It’s the enemy he needs to keep track of.

“Kiss me,” Bucky orders, and Steve drops forward, laying on his daddy’s sweaty chest, in his own slick pool of come and kisses him deep and slow. Bucky is still inside him, still unbelievably hard and Steve is too. The soft, warm pressure on his cock as their stomachs press together makes him grind down and back, unbearably desperate and fragile. Bucky wraps his arms around Steve, giving him a moment to rest, to feel protected. The vibrator is still on, it’s next to Bucky’s hip where he put it down.

“Turn it off?” Steve asks, quietly. He nuzzles into Bucky’s neck, hoping Bucky will spare him. Want to be kind and gentle with him now.

“No, sweetheart. You’re going to come on it. You’re going to make me come while you’re on it. I told you, we’re going to experiment with this a lot more. Feels so good, Steve and it makes you fall apart.”

“Daddy, please, I, um, fuck, oh! _No_,” Steve says, abruptly pushing back, hand on his cock, pressing hard but it’s too late, he’s coming in hard pulses, knife sharp, jerks himself a little to enjoy the last moments of it and Bucky watches him as Steve spurts thinly all over Bucky’s chest and onto his stomach. Bucky groans, arching up into him, fucking him in small thrusts as Steve spasms around him.

He cradles his balls gently. “I came, daddy. I’m sorry.”

Bucky laughs, still hard inside Steve. “Tell me again how you don’t like the vibrator. Just the promise of me using it got you there.Well, the threat.”

“No. It was you and rubbing against your stomach,” he lies. He’s pouting. He knows he is because Bucky leans up and sucks on his bottom lip.

“You’re cute when you’re lying. Let’s get the ring off you, see where you’re at.”

“It’s not a lie. I do hate it.”

“Then I’ll give you what you hate,” he whispers.

Steve shudders, slumps forward, head tilting to the side, offering his neck. Bucky grabs him hard, hand on his back and one is his hair so he stays where he is. Bucky comes close, breathes, mouth barely touching Steve’s claiming glands and Steve shoves himself away, heart pounding. Steve fumbles with the ring and gets it off. The relief is overwhelming and he rubs deep at the base of his shaft, groaning at the feeling, not knowing if it’s good or bad.

He bites his lower lip, can’t stand to look at Bucky after pulling away like that. “I’m sorry.” Steve touches the condom/sleeve thing. It’s tight enough that it’s restrictive and uncomfortable. He’s desperate to have it off.

“Leave it on. Okay, sweetheart. Let’s get me off and then you can have a little rest.”

“Yes, daddy,” and he starts to move, little movements, careful of how sore he is inside, how overstimulated and raw he feels. His neck is horribly painful now. It pulses up his neck and into his head. Steve’s gaze flicks down to the bullet. His nemesis. Bucky picks it up, is looking at Steve and contemplating. The damned thing is still on.

Steve swallows, lets Bucky see just how much he wants _him_. “Anything you want,” he whispers, although it’s absolutely terrifying. “I’ll try.”

Bucky dumps Steve off of him with a growl and climbs onto him, hand down, pressing his cock back into Steve, hard and demanding. “Anything I want? _Anything_? My beautiful fucking boy,” he growls, pounding into Steve, chasing his orgasm as Steve lays there and takes it. Bucky is staring at his neck. He licks his lips.

Steve’s hand goes up, protective of his neck. Terrified Bucky is going to touch him again. He might whisper red. He isn’t sure.

“You’re okay, Steve. We’re fine. I love you.”

His hips stutter and he comes in Steve, short, stabbing little movements as he grabs every last bit of pleasure he can out of Steve’s body. Well, except for the part of himself Steve is still denying him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have visions of everyone furiously skimming past the sex because WHAT ABOUT THE GLANDS?!?! I hope that's not true. i'm trying to keep it interesting and not horrendously repetitive. I swear it's close. I don't know why the fuck it hasn't happened yet, either. 
> 
> The next chapter picks up straight from where this one ended. glands on the horizon... what a horrible image. like little boats or something, sailing into view. clearly, it's time for me to take a break.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you read the tags right? cause it's here.

When Steve wakes up, Bucky is dressed and sitting in a chair next to the bed. “We’ve got to go home now. I’m going to get you ready to travel, okay?”

He slips two fingers over Steve’specs on his way down Steve’s body. “Are you allergic to ginger?”

“No.”

“Good. Open your legs, Steve.”

“Daddy,” he whispers, and obeys.

“Look at how sweet you are right now. I’m going to try to keep you in this headspace for a while Steve. If you start feeling anxious or more awake, tell me.” His hole is sore and Bucky presses a finger inside of him and then pulls it out. “Push out while I get the plug inside.”

Bucky presses something warm and tingly inside him. It’s not particularly large, not as large as Bucky, thank god, and it isn’t all that deep either. But it’s hot. And it’s getting warmer. “Daddy?”

“The plug has ginger in it, baby.” He picks up a packet, one that looks like lube, except it’s red. It’s torn open. “It’s only a little plug, just a reminder that you’re daddy’s to use and the burn will keep you thinking about me and remembering your place for the next few days.”

“Few days?” he whispers and prays it’s true. He needs to be with his daddy.

He’s trying to think, but the plug in his ass is beyond hot, it’s burning, throbbing inside him. It’s like he’s being bitten by ants or something. He reaches up, puts his arms around Bucky’s neck and pulls him down over him. “Fuck me. Take it out. _Please_, please daddy.”

“No, baby. We’re going home now. I’ll take care of you there. Up, let’s get you dressed.”

This is all too much. Steve puts a hand between his legs, touching his hole, where the plug is flared, hard plastic and then his own soft, come slick skin.

“No.” Steve groans, presses hard against the plug. It’s like he’s been zapped with electricity in his ass. He rolls over, grinds his cock into the bed, groans that he still can’t feel his cock, and Bucky’s hand skates up his legs, fingers squeezing his balls, wrist pressing against the plug. His legs spread in offer and he looks back at Bucky over his shoulder.

“Up. Dressed. I’ll fuck you at home. Get going now or I’ll leave that sleeve on you for days, sweetheart.” Bucky stands. Serious.

Steve stumbles upwards. The word daddy is lodged in the back of his throat, trying to consume him. Bucky gets him dressed and Steve clings to him, kisses every piece of him he can reach, licking him and pressing his nose against his skin to breathe him in while Bucky struggles to get him out of there. “Jesus. No more ginger if I have to get you somewhere. You’re such a slut for it, aren’t you, honey?” Bucky grabs the cheek of his ass, squeezing tight.

“Daddy. Don’t say that. I’m not… _that_. I’m not.” And yet. “I need you. God, just get that big cock in me. I can’t stand it,” Steve groans, grabbing at Bucky’s crotch. Nothing has ever hurt quite like this. Left him feeling stupid and weak, with a vicious need to get fucked.

Bucky gets shoes on him and hauls him out of the room. They get to the elevator and then into a car with a driver and Bucky has Steve sit on his lap, a special seatbelt attachment there so he could fuck him if he wanted to. But, Bucky isn’t doing that.

Steve had scrambled to undo Bucky’s pants when he got in, desperate to get that cock in him even if there was someone there to watch, but Bucky had denied him, strapped him in and pulled him back, a hand on his breast to keep him against Bucky’s body while his other hand undid Steve’s pants and got the zipper down, fished inside Steve’s underwear and grabbed him by the base of the shaft. He squeezed him and jerked in quick, harsh movements that made Steve spread his legs and grind his ass, his sore, burning ass against Bucky’s hard cock underneath him.

His ass spasms, clenching and milking, hips rolling desperately. Steve stares at the partition, wondering if the driver can see them through it or something. The thought slides away.

Steve growls and grinds down. “Fuck me. Come on.”

“Be patient, Steve. We’re almost there.”

“_No_. Need you. You’re so hard and I’m hurting. Daddy, I’m _hurting_. Do you want me to hurt?” he asks, and turns to the side, trying to kiss Bucky’s mouth, not wanting to hear the answer. His hips pump upwards, chasing the grip of Bucky’s fist, fucking it, wanting some relief.

“Yeah, baby. I want to hurt you.”

“Daddy.” He gasps, and he swears he’s coming. And then he slumps and looks down, cock still red and imprisoned in the fucking sleeve. Bucky is back at Steve’s nipples, squeezing them hard. It takes him a minute to get the grip right, to find the right pressure so they’ll release again and Steve objects quietly, begging and pleading for Bucky to not do it. His hands run up and down Bucky’s thighs.

“I don’t like it. Don’t, daddy. Please, don’t.”

“Why not?” Daddy asks, kissing the side of his jaw.

“It’s going to hurt. You know it does. I’m open. I can take you. Don’t daddy, please.”

“Sweetheart, the ginger makes you burn and it makes you all irritated inside. And you’re swollen. It’s going to be difficult, Steve. You’ll see soon enough.”

He’s still touching Steve’s nipples, pressing and rubbing and it all just aches. His hips roll into it and he arches into the touch even though it hurts more. “Fuck. Just fix this.”

“Nothing to fix. You should see you, arching and moaning, baby. I love it. You’re so beautiful. Press those tits into my hand, spread those thighs and fuck the air. Beautiful.” Good god, is that what he’s doing? “You’re so desperate for my cock, baby. There’s a god damned puddle on the floor, you know. You’re just dripping and leaking all over. And I want to fucking give it to you.”

“Oh god. A puddle. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for being my needy slut.”

“No, I’m…I thought I was your good boy?” If he has to be something, he wants to be that. With his daddy who will hold him while he struggles, and kiss everything better. Bucky’s fingers clamp on his nipples, forcing him to release again. He cries out with it, grinds back and then whimpers, tries to pull away, lift his ass away from Bucky’s cock and the pressure on the plug, because he’s even more horribly sensitive now.

His fingers fumble on the seatbelt, but he gets it off, throws himself face first to the seat to get away from the pressure on his hole. His nipples press against the cushion and he shouts in agony, lifts his chest up and puts his hands over his tits to protect them from any more pressure.

He’s breathing loud and harsh. He can still hear the echo of his own shout in his ears. Fuck. He’s falling apart. He’s a mess. He looks to his daddy for help.

“Oh, sweetheart. Yeah, I’ll fuck you when we get home.” And then, _then_, it manages to get even worse because Bucky rubs fingers against Steve’s perineum and his thumb against the plug, jostling it inside him. He goes to the floor to get away, turns around, buries his face into Bucky’s crotch and sobs, hands still on his own tits.

“Lift your shirt, Steve. Rub them.” He’s horrified by the very idea. “Oh, you’re in luck. We’re here.” Bucky says something to the driver and then Bucky’s door opens and he gets out.

He reaches back in for Steve and Steve breathes raggedly, extends a hand slowly. Bucky’s grip is firm and soothing. “Good boy. Come on. Trust daddy.”

Steve gets out of the car and Bucky is shielding him, fixing Steve’s clothes so he can take him into the building and have him be somewhat presentable. “There you go. Let’s get you taken care of.”

His arm is around Steve, his voice in his ear, telling him how sweet he is. Steve’s legs are weak, all of him is weak and hurting, and he just needs to be with his daddy. Wants to be in their apartment and have everything else go away. “_Soft_. Daddy.” He needs everything to be gentle so he can get his strength back.

Bucky opens the door, gets Steve inside and takes him to the bedroom. “Takeyour clothes off now, honey.” Bucky leaves him there. He comes back with towels and lube and a small container that Steve can’t see into. He gets the bed ready and Steve stands there dumbly, watching the container like it’s a bomb. Something is in there. His instincts are telling him that he needs to fight. Needs to get his shit together and be prepared instead of weak and…willing?

Bucky takes Steve’s shirt off and gets his pants open, strips him naked and helps him lay down.

Bucky gets naked too, cups his balls and strokes his cock, hard and ready as he climbs onto the bed and over Steve. “We need to talk about red, Steve.”

“I hurt, daddy.” All of this has him turned around. He’s weak and too emotionally soft.

“I know, angel. I know. You’re tired, but still struggling, baby. So, if I think you can do something and you don’t, I want you to trust me.”

“You’d… you’d take away red? You don’t think you should have to stop if I need you to?” he asks, soft and scared. He touches his daddy’s mouth. His soft lips. He’s so beautiful but he’s saying the hardest things. It doesn’t even make any sense. Why is daddy doing this to him?

“No. Of course I’ll stop. And I’ll know when that is, because you are the most important person to me. You’re mine to protect and love. I will worship you and give you what you need. You don’t need red because I would never put you in that position. The connection between us wouldn’t allow it. I want you to trust _that_.”

“But,” he licks his lips, confused. “If it feels like it?”

“No. If it feels like it, _when_ it feels like it, you can say red and then we’re going to pause and think, you’re going to really need to think about whether it’s true or not.”

“What if it is?” Steve asks, brokenly.

“Well, you are still a super soldier.”

“What?” and it’s a genuine question. Is he? Is he strong enough to make Bucky stop? “But, the plug. My…bottom.”

“It isn’t kryptonite in there, sweetheart. You are strong enough to stop me, aren’t you?”

He watches Steve, carefully.

“I don’t feel strong.”

“I know. I know,” he says, lowering himself and then sitting between Steve’s legs. “I think you are. Let’s get this out, sweetheart. Open,” he orders, and Steve holds his legs, back and open, watches as Bucky touches his hole softly. He kisses Steve’s thigh. He grips the plug and pulls it out. It’s slick and so smooth but it’s still a lot because he’s so raw inside.

“Hush,” Bucky murmurs as Steve whimpers. Bucky puts a finger to Steve’s hole, rests it there and it’s huge and unbelievably hot. “You’re mine, sweetheart.” Bucky is looking at him, assessing, like he’s never really seen him before or he’s trying to make sure of something.

“No more red?” Steve asks.

“No more red,” he confirms and Steve closes his eyes, gives in to his daddy, trusts that it’s going to be okay.

***

Steve must have fallen asleep. He wakes up to Bucky moving him. “Onto the pillow, Steve,” he says, and Bucky is lifting Steve’s hips, a pillow propped under him. It’s too high, and he pulls his legs in, having to open them. Some kind of specialty sex pillow his daddy has bought. He likes the idea of that, Bucky wanting to fuck him at a certain angle and finding the right pillow. The planning of it. He wonders if it’s for both of them. If it’s to increase his pleasure at all, or just his accessibility.

He might ask. Not now. Doing anything now besides following what Bucky wants is beyond him. Hands are on his thighs, keeping him wide open. 

“Daddy,” he begs softly, making the effort to slip his fingers into Bucky’s hair. His cock drips onto his stomach and his heartbeat is pounding in his cock. 

“How sore are you?” Bucky asks him. He props himself on an elbow between Steve’s legs, just looking at his hole. Two fingers go to the rim, so much harder and coarser than his tongue would be even though the touch is gentle.

“Daddy,” he gasps, holding still by force of will as Bucky puts his fingers inside him. He whimpers. It hurts but it’s good. Captivating. Like getting the crap beaten out of him is horrible but good. Fingers press along his walls, making him release with a low groan. “Fuck. Stop. I can’t, Buck.” His stomach is wet, a pool of liquid rushing down his stomach, obeying gravity as he releases, a pleasureless emptying.

Bucky’s fingers come out. “Lovely. Thighs, too.” And he sits up, rubs fingers over Steve’s thighs and into the crease, hunting for Steve’s glands.

“Daddy, no. I don’t need it. Don’t want it…oh _fuck_, I can’t, _daddy_,” he sighs. His daddy finds the glands and warms them up a little, pressing and massaging them. “Why?”

“Are you tired, baby?”

“Yes, daddy. Too tired. Don’t want to release anymore. Maybe… _come_ and then sleep?” The idea is enchanting. That’s exactly what he needs right now. To come. Steve shivers and gasps, thrusts a little into and away from the touch. He gets so sensitive after he releases that all the glands feel it, like an echo. He thrashes weakly but Bucky has his own plan, looming over Steve now, his hot, attentive gaze flicking up to Steve’s face to watch how the release affects him.

“Here you go, sweetheart.” He makes them give and Steve releases again with a sharp exhale. He slaps his hand weakly on Bucky’s arm, using all of his strength, his fingers ineffectually sliding down the hard muscles, a weak protest.

“Feel so helpless. Sleepy, daddy.”

“I see it. Poor love. Just laying there and letting me have at you. Hurt you and make you all messy. You’re such a good boy, Steve. You’re gonna be all sweet, aren’t you?” 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. He starts to feel an ache in his taint and deep in his balls now that so much come has been driven out of him. “I need to come, too,” he whispers, pleading. He lets his hand go to his balls, holding them in his hand carefully. “Fuck. Daddy.”

“Are you sensitive?”

Steve opens his eyes. They’re unfocused and it takes a moment to see Bucky clearly. Bucky reaches for a towel, mops up Steve’s stomach, hand resting there possessively. 

He closes his eyes, touches himself like a compulsion. It doesn’t feel good, but he needs it. They’ve gotta be _ready_ to come, gotta be full and heavy and he’s spent. He feels hollowed out. Dry. “God, I’m really hard and I want to come but I feel like it’s going to take forever. Help me. Suck my cock? Please?”

“Oh, baby. You need my cock in your ass. That’s what’s about to happen.” He meets Steve’s gaze. It’s shocking, how distant his daddy seems right now. Determined.

“Daddy. I don’t,” he says, even as he’s following Bucky’s hands and getting himself turned over and onto his stomach. The pillow raises his ass up, easier to fuck and go deep, but at least he can be slumped against it. Steve gets in position, Bucky’s thumb goes over Steve’s hole as if he hadn’t gotten fucked to pieces just an hour ago.

A high, pained sound comes from him. Bucky puts the lube shooter into him and Steve tries to prepare himself mentally for what’s to come. He just can’t. Between the fucking and the releasing and the god-awful, mother fucking _ginger_, he can’t do it again right now. “I think I need food first. Or…nap.”

“No.”

He swallows down the lump in his throat. Bucky’s body covers him and Steve moans. Bucky’s hard cock is close to his hole but not lined up right, too low, rubbing against his taint. “Daddy why?”

“Tits now,” Bucky says, and his hands go under Steve, grab tight to his pecs. There’s pressing and rubbing, nails digging in near the nipple and under the gland.

“God. Don’t, daddy. Buck. I don’t think I can do this right now. Too much.” Bucky is humping at him lazily while Steve tries to get his thoughts together, the head of Bucky’s cock low and rubbing rather than trying to hook into him.

“I love you,” Bucky says, squeezing harder on his nipples, a terrifying buildup to another release.

There’s a shift and Bucky’s cock repositions, slides up his crack. Bucky moans at the feeling. “Don’t tense, Steve. You’re very sore. You need to relax as much as you can, baby.”

“Daddy. Need time.”

“No, you need a cock.”Something doesn’t make sense. Whatever his daddy is doing, Steve isn’t in on it.

“Not my neck. _Promise_ you’re not going to do that, too. Promise. _Daddy_?”

“Where’s that hole, sweetheart?” Bucky’s breathing hitches as he finally catches Steve’s rim. He lets go of Steve’s pec, and presses his cock into Steve, hand helping the shaft breach him. Steve feels the muscles giving, pants through it. The head is secure inside him and it’s so fucking much after the ginger. 

Steve clenches with a groan and Bucky pops back out. “Sorry. Sorry,” Steve says.

“Hmm,” Bucky murmurs, and he finds Steve’s glands in his chest, squeezes, the agony peaking inside him until he releases, again. Jesus, fuck, he’s aching inside now. Was it a dry release? Is that possible?

He tries to shift, get a hand on himself so he can make himself come, work his cock and his balls. He’s oversensitive and sore, jangled up inside and he needs to come and even it all out. Bucky growls at him and grabs Steve’s hands, puts them above his head.

His daddy’s intentions, what’s actually going on here start to crystallize. “Promise not my neck.”

“No, baby.” he says, and then he’s fitting the head of his cock back to Steve’s hole, fucks in, Steve’s body giving, too weak after that last release to protest properly.

Fuck, aliens could storm their apartment right now and he’d likely be unable to do much more then lay there and pray for a quick death.

“_Fuck_. Bucky. Don’t want to say red.”

“There is no red, sweetheart. Remember. We talked about it. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever asked of you. I know it, baby,” he says, interrupting him. He’s all dominance now, and he feels a little dizzy all the sudden. A clenching spasm ripples down his neck. It’s a very unpleasant sensation. “You’re so sore and worn out and daddy is going to take more from you.” Steve’s head presses hard into the bed. “Sweetheart. How much do you want to give me?”

“That’s not fair,” he whispers, brokenly. His hand goes back. Bucky grabs it firmly. _Too much_ he thinks over and over again. He’s floating a little, he realizes. The pain is everywhere but there’s something right and amazing, too.

He can’t say red. His daddy won’t stop. Steve decides right then and there he needs more therapy. This is not good. This is awful and it’s going to be a painful nightmare… andhe’s going to jerk off to it later.

Like, a lot.

There’s the sound of a lid being lifted. _It’s the box!_ A metal clinking. _What’s in the fucking box?,_ a distant part of him shouts in warning. He needs to get himself together _now. _The least he could do is lift his head and look. He doesn’t look.

“I know, my love. You’re keeping me out, keeping us apart. You’re so strong. But, I need you weak now. I think that’s the only way to get this done. Remind yourself that I love you when it’s difficult. Tell me you love me and how difficult it is. This time you won’t be thinking of your glands because you’ll be thinking of the rest of you and how I’m taking you instead.”

Cuffs snap onto his wrists. “Fight, Steve.”

He tugs. They barely pull taught. “R-red, daddy.”

“No, baby. No more red. If you want to say red you say I love you. It’s the same thing right now.”

“Daddy, no.”

“There is no more ‘no.’ Only ‘I love you.’ Only ‘yes’ until I’ve taken care of you.”

That visceral fear of anyone near his glands is rising up, dragging him out of the floaty feeling. He needs to protect himself. It’s so damned hard. Bucky’s dick is so big inside him and his body is so heavy as it weighs on Steve. He breathes. _Fight_. He’s got to fight. He can’t lift his arms. Can’t even clench on the cock inside him.

A growl comes from him. It sounds like a kitten. It’s genuinely pathetic. His ass clenches again but Bucky was waiting for it, shoving forward hard as it happens, forcing entry, pushing Steve up the bed with it. Steve cries out as Bucky forces past his defenses. “Daddy. Red,” he tries. A soft gasp.

“No. What do you say right now?” he demands.

“I love you.”

“Good. _Yes._ I love you, too.”

Steve groans, shocked at the intensity, at how powerful and controlling his daddy feels. The dominance is seeping into Steve. He needs to offer daddy his neck now.

“You told me you were alone, baby. You shouldn’t feel that way anymore. You won’t once I’ve gotten your glands. Daddy’s been too gentle with you. My poor baby is so strong that you’ll always get back up. How do I claim you if you keep getting back up and fighting?”

“I don’t know,” he whispers.

How much do you want to give me, Steve?”

“Everything.” That’s an easy question.

“Do you think giving me everything is easy?”

“No, daddy.”

“So, I’m going to help you give it to me. Claim my boy. Finally.” Bucky’s voice is possessive, almost shaky with lust and determination. “You will offer me your neck, Steve. I will fuck you and break you down until you surrender. No more red. No more no. No more fighting. Give in to me.”

He lets his head tilt to the side and then realizes what he’s offering and stops, frightened. Tries to hike his shoulders up.

“I’m scared. Daddy. I can’t let you. I just can’t.”

“I know. And it has to be done. Doesn’t it? We do this and then you can rest. I want to spend the rest of the day taking care of you. Hell, the rest of my life taking care of you. We just have to get through this first.”

His back arches and he sobs. Bucky’s hands cover his, keeping him in place. He was going to cradle his head in his arms protectively. The cuffs are stopping him. Bucky’s touch is gentle.

“I’m broken. I know it.Why would you want me then?” he asks, a horrible confession of his fear, the one he’s been trying to keep locked up tight and force to disappear. But, here it is, dragged out of him by his daddy. Emotionally, he’s got nowhere else to go then down this path he’s tried so hard, sometimes unconsciously, to keep walled off.

“Oh, sweetheart. There is no way in the world you aren’t good enough or could disappoint me. You aren’t broken.”

“I should have told you, but I kept hoping I wouldn’t be.” He drags in a breath. Maybe if he confesses, Bucky will stop and not make them do this. “Before the serum they couldn’t even find them. They didn’t develop properly. And after the serum… she _tried_. I let her. I threw up. The plane was after.”

There’s a long beat of silence. “Oh, sweetheart.” Bucky sounds anguished. “My love, this isn’t the sort of burden you need to carry on your own. You’re mine. I’m yours. I swear to you, if you react badly and the glands haven’t developed properly, then we’ll figure out a way to manage it. But, you can’t go on like this. Let’s do what we need to do here and then we’ll spend the day cuddling.”

They can’t bond properly. He knows it.

Steve turns, looks over his shoulder at Bucky. “I don’t want to know. Please, don’t make us know.” He wants Bucky to love him and be proud of him.

Bucky winces. “Steve, you’re perfect. We just need to know. I won’t love you any less. It won’t affect anything between us.”

Bucky doesn’t know that. If Steve can’t respond in a good way to his dominant’s touch on those glands then he’s broken. He’ll be just as broken as he was before the serum. Part of him unfixed after all. 

“You will offer me your neck, Steve.”

“I can’t… not yet.” There’s a little fight in him yet.

His daddy sighs. “Thighs spread, arch a little more so I have lots of room to work.” He smacks Steve on the ass, the side of his cheek since it’s all he can get to, and Steve makes a hmph sound and obeys.

“Yes, daddy,” he whispers, forehead pressed hard into the bed. Lips brush his shoulder blade. Bucky grabs his hair, hard and tight, although it isn’t as if Steve was going to be able to go anywhere, anyway.

Bucky’s cock goes in deep, the angle suddenly makes Steve open inside and Bucky takes advantage, two heavy thrusts and he’s in to the root. Steve trembles. “B-b-big,” he gasps, face pressed to the bed, head still held in placeby his hair.

“It is, isn’t it? For a good boy like you with such a tight, little hole.”

“Oh _fuck_. Daddy,” he says, body trying to milk Bucky’s cock at the words. It was the motherfucking ginger is what it was. He’s going to wage a one man war for the worldwide annihilation of ginger when this is all over.

“Am I too heavy, baby? Am I crushing you? Little slip of a thing like you. You can do it, can’t you? Take my big old cock even though it’s gonna wreck you? Can’t you? For me?”

“Uh huh.” He even nods. Bucky loosens his grip to let him. “Anything, daddy. I love you. I swear.” The bedding is so wet he realizes. Cold and unpleasant from all the tears he’s been crying.

“I know, baby. I love you, too. You’re mine. And I’ll never let you go, Steve. Never letyou be alone without your daddy. Not anymore. You’re home now, sweetheart. It’s me and you.”

He slams home hard and Steve feels like he’s exploding, an internal devastation that drops him deep. He tilts his head, offering his neck to his daddy, the only thing left he has to give.

“Oh, angel, look at you. Look how pretty. Are you gonna let me? Fuck, Steve. You’re gonna make me come so hard, baby. You know it, don’t you? Is that what you want? For me to lose my damned mind because you’re irresistible?”

Steve whimpers,his passage is clutching tight, almost like it wants to drag Bucky in. The gland under his prostate is hard and throbbing, is getting brushed over and rubbed and each pass makes him spill a little, drops pushed out of him. His daddy always makes a mess of him.

Bucky’s lips press against his neck. Steve can’t speak. He can’t move to protest. He tells himself to let it happen. That it’s going to be okay. That his daddy won’t leave him even if he isn’t good and he’s broken.

Daddy loves him.

Bucky’s mouth is soft. The barest press of his tongue and the gland releases, just _gives_ and he feels like he’s suddenly gaping open. It happens so fast that it takes Bucky by surprise and his cock slides all the way out, the tight clench of Steve’s passage abruptly slack.

Bucky pushes back inside and rubs his nose against Steve’s neck, presses kisses all along the column. Steve clenches and relaxes again, is lightheaded, boneless.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asks.

“I don’t know.”

Bucky’s mouth opens in a kiss and he slips his tongue along the skin of his neck and then the gland itself and Steve punches out a breath.

“Fuck,” he whispers, because it is in no way a sensation he’s ever experienced before. “Harder.”

“Is it bad?”

“No, daddy.”

“You released easy, baby.” Fingers press along his jaw and down his neck and he whimpers reflexively, expecting pain. There’s tenderness and pleasure but that’s all. He’s okay.

“Am I?” he forces himself to ask. Dysfunctional remains unsaid.

“No, baby. I don’t think so. I think you just hadn’t ever surrendered enough to let it happen. Hopefully, it will get easier. You’re really open now. Do you want to feel?”

“I can tell.”

Bucky moans and sucks on his neck, under the gland, only catching the edge of it. It’s like there’s a connection between Bucky’s tongue and deep inside him. A mirror image of feeling. Bucky’s tongue slides along the right side of his gland and he feels it along the left hand side of his body, tingling at his rim, throbbing inside and prickling along his neck.

He bites gently and that sense that he’s gaping open increases. Steve doesn’t know what to do with that feeling. How to describe it or if he should. It’s frightening.

Bucky does the other side of his neck and it’s the same intense pleasure, like he’s being stroked along the whole side of his body. And when he’s on the gland itself, sucking a mark on top of it, then he’s sure he’s gaping open, that he could take Bucky’s fist if he wanted.

Bucky working his claiming glands makes him feel needy and unbearably horny. A single touch and he collapses utterly.

“Fuck. Daddy.” It’s good. Too good. “Fuck me hard. Please. I need to feel you in me.” Bucky pulls out, slams back in, a slap of skin against skin and his mouth moves over the gland. “I’m open, daddy. Am I? Doyou feel it?” he has to know. Maybe he’s wrong.

“I do, sweetheart. You are open. Do you know what you feel like now?”

“What?” He’s scared of the answer.

“It’s like a pussy now, Steve. One more release for these glands, Steve. The other side now.”

Steve sighs into it. Drifts along with each flick of his daddy’s tongue and press of his teeth. The gland gives, gentle and easy and he squirms under Bucky, trying desperately to clench and not be so sluttily open. 

Bucky pulls out of him and he tries to tighten up but he can’t. The muscles barely even twitch in response. Bucky slides fingers inside of him.

“How many?” Because it feels like two maybe but he knows it isn’t.

“That’s four, angel.”

“Daddy,” he says, the idea scary.

“Tighten on daddy’s fingers. Try, sweetheart.”

He tries. There’s a bare little ripple. What if he stays like this? “What if it’s permanent?”

“It isn’t. Turn over and look at me. I think I can get you to tighten up easily enough.”

He turns over and grabs Bucky, holding onto him tightly. “It’s okay. Beautiful boy. Let’s see what happens,” Bucky murmurs, and he brushes his fingers past Steve’s cock and his balls to his perineum.

“Go ahead and jerk yourself off. See if you can come,” he says. Steve reaches for himself, slightly surprised to see that the condom is gone and he’s cleaned up. He lost time in there somewhere.

He isn’t hard but he doesn’t feel like he came. “When you released you went soft.”

“This isn’t normal. It can’t be. And you’re so calm it’s freaking me out.”

He frowns at Steve. “I’m not calm because I’m worried, I’m just… it’s not a big deal. Not a problem.”

“What if I always open like that?”

“Well, we don’t know how your body will react quite yet. It’s very likely this is extreme. An over-reaction.”

“I have to know what you’re thinking.” Because Bucky definitely has some sort of opinion but Steve has no idea what it is.

Bucky looks at him and away, his cheeks turn pink. The stroking of his perineum is intensifying, becoming a rub and a press like he’s a girl or something and Bucky is trying to get him off by palming the whole area.

There’s a spasm in his low stomach, a clenching and a hint of arousal goes through him. He starts to get hard. His hand isn’t moving, too worried about what Bucky is thinking.

“I don’t want to say the wrong thing or piss you off, but all I can think is that if you relax like that when I make your claiming glands release then I can basically fuck you anytime I want to, and I don’t have to prep you at all. It’s really fucking hot. And you went soft. Which means it might be really intense for you when I fuck you.”

Oh.

Steve’s brain shorts out. Nothing processes. Good. Bad. Nothing. Bucky stops rubbing, presses two fingers into him. “You’re already getting tight again. I think that if you come you’ll basically be back to normal.” 

Bucky puts a hand on Steve’s cock and jacks him slow and steady. Steve spreads his legs, fisting his hands into the sheets as his daddy makes him feel good. “So, it’s not bad?”

“Not for me. How do _you _feel about it? Seems like a more important question.” 

“Fuck, that feels good, daddy.” He needs a moment before he can answer. “Umm, I think if you like it then I’ll be happy. Just need to feel it a few times. It’s…weird.”

The look on Bucky’s face makes it clear that is not his opinion. “Does your neck hurt, baby?”

“No,” he says, and reaches up, touches his neck. Tender, still congested a little, but he does feel so much better. Buckyhas Steve put his leg over Bucky’s hip. He scoots close, puts his head on Bucky’s arm and kisses him as his daddy strokes him, working him until he’s thrusting gently into his tight grip.

“I’m so tired.”

“I know. You were so fucking good, baby. I’m so lucky.”

He presses his forehead to Bucky’s, tears spilling down his cheeks. Again.

“Why the tears, sweetheart?”

“I’m not broken.”

“No, you’re not broken. You were never broken.” Hekisses Steve like he can’t help himself. Like Steve is precious and perfect. 

Steve groans as he tightens up, clenching weakly and then stronger as he gets closer to coming. He gets lost in the feeling of his body adjusting, no longer aching and empty but hard and tight. It’s waves ripping inwards. He looks down, surprised to see that he isn’t coming, weak spasms pulling him together inside. “How does it feel? You look happy.”

“So good, daddy. Please, don’t stop.”

“Let me check you,” he says, fingers slipping to Steve’s hole again. Steve wiggles as Bucky presses a finger against the tight ring of muscle.

“Sore, daddy.”

Bucky goes back to kissing him and jerking him off, like he has all day, and that rising feeling ofcoming weakly gets stronger.

“Daddy,” he gasps.

“Can you come?”

“I think so.”

“Do it. Don’t hold back if you don’t want to. You earned it, sweetheart. I’ll helpyou if you can’t.”

“Thank you, daddy.” He spasms deep inside and groans, fucks up into Bucky’s fingers. Close but nothing. He starts to pant with it, on the edge of coming.

“Come, daddy. Please.”

“Of course. And you can drop. I’ll take care of you. My good boy.”

“Yeah,oh fuck, _daddy_. Harder. It’s gonna be big….hmph…_that,_ please, oh that… have to, have to,” he groans, teeth gritted tight as he finally comes all over his daddy’sfingers. 

It’s sharp and bright, too much and one of the best orgasm he’s ever had. He has to grab Bucky’s hand to stop him as his body spasms sharply inside.

He drops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, glandtasmic has now occurred. I have no idea if that's what people wanted and was actually a little intimidated bc i'd really built it up. so i hope it delivered. Gulp. 
> 
> I think there needs to be a chapter for after this and it may take me a few days. i'm thinking this is now the point to move on. I had a look at the pierce plot stuff and it just seems a bit out of left field now. so we may just need to assume pierce is a douche who gets his comeuppance. 
> 
> and there should be something for xmas! so subscribe (Or check back or whatever) if you want a smutty stucky story that i think will start on the 23rd and finish on the 25th. i think it's just about 30k and if it's the one I think it's going to be (too much half finished content, ugh) then it's gentle dom bucky and post ca:cw in Wakanda. Thinking it's going to be called The Fire Still Burns after one of my fave depeche mode songs. i hate coming up with titles. Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments that resulted in another very long story that you all helped me create! as much as i hated endgame it's made me super prolific.


	19. Chapter 19

It’s raining. Steve can hear it through the windows. Bucky puts a blanket over him and strokes his hair as the water surrounds them. He drifts, peaceful and content, then slips into a dream and the sound of the water changes, becomes something else. Loud and rushing, filling up everything around them.

They’re both going to die, Steve thinks.

He’s in the Valkyrie and it’s dark. So dark. It’s freezing and there’s water to his knees.

He has to get out. Has to try. Doesn’t he? He told Peggy to let him do this. Will she honor that decision? What if she saves him? Does he have to be with her? They’ll want him to kill people again.

He can hear glass blowing in from the pressure under him, upwards and crashing inside in a horrible roar. It sounds like Bucky’s voice.

Bucky is calling to him, searching for him in the wreckage. Water to his chest, water over his face. He wakes up, shivering hard.

He turns into Bucky’s embrace, offers his mouth. “Are you back with me?”

“Daddy,” he says, wanting to put the dream behind him. Bucky pulls him out of bed and leads him to the kitchen. He pours him two glasses of orange juice, and watches while Steve drinks it. And then he makes him eat, toast with butter, almond butter, banana and honey on top. “This is some high calorie toast.”

“Is the butter weird?”

Steve shrugs. He’s hungry. He needs fat. He doesn’t care. Steve trails him to the bathroom, leans against the counter while Bucky gets the shower going. He eats the last bite, goes to wash his hands, even though he’s about to take a shower, and stops when he sees himself in the mirror. His hand goes to his neck.

“I can touch my neck.”

Bucky smirks at him. “_I_ can touch your neck.” He comes over and that panic is there but distant. He tilts his head as Bucky closes in. Bucky kisses the skin gently and Steve puts his hands on the counter so he doesn’t fall down.

“Daddy, that’s good.” It’s the ultimate understatement.

Bucky stops himself and hauls Steve into the shower. “I think I should probably only touch your claiming glands when you’re in bed or sitting. At least to start.”

“I think I’m going to be a total slut for it.”

Bucky gives him a look.

“What?”

“Don’t think you’ve ever described yourself that way.”

“Oh. Well, no. I mean….” He doesn’t know what he means. He’s blushing.Bucky washes him from head to foot, feeds him some more and they go for a walk in the rain, mainly because they’re out of a few grocery items and Steve doesn’t want to let Bucky out of his sight.

They start watching a movie but Steve is out within the first ten minutes. He gets up the next morning, goes for a run and makes them both breakfast. He even takes Bucky coffee in bed.

“Are we really not going to work today?”

“Hell, no. God only knows what will happen when I touch your neck now. Just give it a few days.”

Bucky stays in bed while Steve follows directions of enema and then shower. There’s also a long lasting lube he’s insertedper Bucky’s request. It’s apparently going to be his new routine. The idea leaves him hard and he knows Bucky is aware of it and more than alittle smug.

“What’s this?” Steve asks, frowning down at the thing on his side of the bed.

“You know what it is,” Bucky says. And he doesn’t even look up from his iPad.

“Why did you leave a cock cage on my side of the bed?”

“You get one guess.” Steve knows Bucky is being snarky on purpose. Trying to get a rise out of him. He hates that it’s working.

“I don’t want that,” Steve says, flatly.

“Yeah, I know.” Steve reaches over and takes the iPad from him. Putting it on his nightstand and out of Bucky’s reach. “Do you want me to put it on you?”

“That doesn’t make it better. I don’t want it at all,” Steve argues.

“Okay,” he says, pushing the covers back. He points at Steve and gestures down to his cock, which Steve can see is big and hard in his navy boxer briefs. God, he’s sexy.

“Can I help you with something?” Steve asks, annoyance fading rapidly.

“You can. Drop the towel and come over here. You can have a nice sit-down on my cock and then maybe we’ll get lunch.”

“I want Japanese food.” Steve says, not moving.

“Make it good and you get to choose.”

“Maybe _you _should make it good and then I’ll consider your opinion.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Oh, I’ll make it good. Admittedly, I’m planning on laying here and letting you do all the work, but it will still be good.” He takes off his underwear, tasing them aside. He’s hard and Steve does love Bucky’s cock.

“No cockcage?”

“No. You don’t want it, so it’s off the list.”

Steve goes closer, straddles Bucky’s lap. Bucky doesn’t waste any time. He doesn’t even try to open Steve up. He makes a perfunctory press of the head at Steve’s hole, which is locked up tight Steve is happy to say. “There’s lazy and then there’s—”

Bucky pulls him into a kiss, slips down to Steve’s neck and instantly starts kissing his claiming glands. “Oh, fuck.”

The release is fast. Steve groans and Bucky moves to the other side, the other one giving easily, as if it was primed and ready. Bucky tries again, head pressing to Steve’s hole and Steve is so damned eager for it that he helps push down, Bucky moving his hand out of the way as Steve takes him deep.

Steve is instantly grinding on him, desperate for relief. The glands are an unfair advantage he decides. But then Bucky is fucking him and it’s so good that he’s not sure he’ll want to do it any other way besides Bucky sucking a bruise over his gland while he rides his daddy hard and fast.

“Stop,” Bucky demands. 

Steve stops but he groans in misery.

“Put the cage on or get off my dick,” he says, but he doesn’tsound all that determined. Steve clenches on him and Bucky groans. “That’s cheating. I’m… Experimenting.”

“I’m not interested in your experiments. I waspromised dick if I had a sit down.”

“An hour. And lunch. Then we come home and I’lltake it off of you. And we’ll get Japanese food.” Steve tries to find the rage he’d felt ten minutes ago.

“But, I don’t want to,” he says, pouting.

“Oh, sweetheart. Hand it to me, I’ll be gentle with you.”

Steve gets him the cage, grumbling and then getting distracted as Bucky fucks him until they both come. He gets Steve to come yetagain, sucking him off and then locking him up when he’s soft.

“I can’t believe I let you put a cock cage of me.”

“How is it?” Bucky asks, kissing Steve absently.

“I’ll loan it to you, or I can get you one for Christmas.”

Bucky pulls back and looks at him. “Do you want me locked up?”

“No. But, if I’m going to be locked up then I get sex whenever I want it. I’m just saying.”

Bucky laughs at him. “You drive a hard bargain.”

“It’s too easy to make a comment so I’m not going to.”

“That’s what she said.”

“What?”

“You haven’t seen The Office?”

Steve sighs. “I’ll put it on the list.”

“No, it’s moved to the top of the list.”

Steve huddles in close, resting next to Bucky, pretty sure he never wants to get out of bed again. Or, at least not until lunch time.

“Are you a cat person or a dog person?” Bucky asks him.

“Both? Wouldn’t we need a yard for a dog?”

“Unless it’s little. Or we want to walk it a lot.”

“I like the idea of a yard, anyway. I’m going to mow the lawn.”

Bucky laughs. “Now I know you’ve never done it.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I do. It’s a pain. Have you done it before?”

“No.” Steve finally says. “But, lots of people like it. I think you’re just being lazy.”

“Maybe. My boyfriend wears me out.”

“Is that something you worry about?” Steve asks, nervous about the answer.

“I don’t think so. I might have had a moment or two of concern, but I think your glands change things. You just let me put a cage on you. And you’re not pissed off anymore.”

Oh shit. “I knew you were trying to get me worked up.”

“I like that you’re easy to rile. I like getting you worked up and then fucking you when you’re annoyed.”

“Yeah, I know.” Steve says, finally getting to be the smug one.

Bucky sits up. “You do, don’t you? Were you doing it on purpose?”

“I do still want Japanese food. But I also wanted to get fucked. I think we manipulated each other. And I like the ‘hey get over here and service me thing.’”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. On one hand it makes me feel like a piece of meat. But, on the other, that also kind of does it for me.”

“I guess that works out nicely then.”

“Yeah, I guess it does.” There’s a flash of lightning outside and Steve burrows closer, which results in Bucky rolling to his back with an oof. “Are you going to fuck me with the cage on?”

“I hope so. Unless you punch me or something.”

“I would never do that. I’m the nicest boyfriend.”

“Maybe you are. Too nice. Ibet you’d be an even nicer fiancee.”

Steve feels himself blush. “I’d be a very nice husband,” he whispers. Because the idea of saying it aloud, putting that out there is kind of terrifying.

“In that case you should meet my family. You need all the facts before you make a decision like that.”

Steve loves Bucky’s family. They love him too.

They get a house ten minutes from Bucky’s parents and a cat and a dog. Bucky’s sister house sits when they’re not home and sends lots of pictures of the animals glaring at each other and her, while they wait for their daddies to come home.

Bucky decides to transfer out of Shield and takes a job with the CIA. Steve is relieved and can’t help but feel a little guilty because Bucky does it mainly because Steve doesn’t like him working in Designational Resources.

Steve plans out a surprise birthday party with Bucky’s sister that lines up fairly closely with Bucky changing jobs, which means there are a lot of people crammed into their new house. Phil and Clint go missing at one point but neither of them is stupid enough to ask what happened.

Bucky is only at the new job for a few months when the arrest warrant goes out for Pierce. His remains are found with Rumlow and several others in a burned out Hydra base.

Fury gets promoted, Phil does too and Bucky winds up back at Shield where he and Steve run missions together and get their own Designation Room assigned to them for everyone’s sanity.

And they lived happily ever after.


End file.
